October 31, 2007

Don't It Figure....

Everything ran late today. Traffic? Ugh.. One word to describe it. Chicago.

Meeting with new prospect? Great. But LONG.

Surprise meeting with boss? Again - Great, but put me behind schedule.

I watched the minutes tick by as I drove west as fast as Lana would carry me. Trick or Treating starts at 5:00 and I didn't want to miss one single ghost or goblin. Not to mention Ninja Turtles and Princesses.

I pulled into my garage at 4:46. HA!!! Quickly changed clothes and made sure everything was ready.

About 10 minutes after the "witching hour" I hear them. Sweet voices...what? What are they saying?

There's no DOORBELL?!?!?! WTF???? How on EARTH could I have missed that?

Don't it just figure.

But that's ok. The desk is in full view of the front door, and it's nice enough out that I have the inside door open.

But man. I'm gonna have to add that to my Honey Do list. Oh wait. Never mind.

I got plenty of DO just no Honey.

I'll just put it on the ever growing list of shit I gotta get done........I know, I know, it's the same thing. It just doesn't sound as good......

**and I should probably add I have to pee like a race horse, but the kids are hittin' so fast and without a doorbell I'm afraid I'll miss 'em. Damn...whoda thunk Halloween is a tag team sport?!?!?!

Posted by Tammi at 05:36 PM | Comments (6) | TrackBack

The Story of My Life.....

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Posted by Tammi at 09:15 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

Happy Halloween

halloween-ecard.jpg

WooHoo!! It's Halloween!!! I get Trick or Treaters tonite! And from what I hear, there should be quite a few of them. I just love all the kids in their costumes, all excited and jacked up on sugar! Especially since *I* don't have to deal with 'em long term. ;-)

I'm off to THE City this morning with no other plans than that one meeting. Then, I'm home to get everything ready for tonite. Make sure the pumpkin is out and lit in front of the house. The "candles" are in the window and the ghost is out on the front porch. It's not much, especially compared to some folks, but it's a start.....

I hope y'all have a wonderful and SAFE Halloween. I think I'm going to really enjoy myself. Especially since I have my very own ghost now! (thanks again RM)


SmileyCentral.com


Posted by Tammi at 06:25 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

He May Be Right!

Oh My Goodness....Laughing Wolf may be on to something here.....

Seriously.

Any one in the Fresno area may want to lock your doors tonite!!!

Posted by Tammi at 06:11 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

The Monster in Me




You Are a Werewolf



You're unpredictable, moody, and downright freaky.

You seem sweet and harmless, until you snap. Then you're a total monster.

Very few people can predict if you're going to be Dr. Jekyll or Mr. Hyde.

But for you, all your transformations seem perfectly natural.



Your greatest power: Your ability to tap into nature



Your greatest weakness: Lack of self control



You play well with: Vampires

What Kind of Monster Are You?

Found at Eric's, Pammy's, and Leslie's...

Posted by Tammi at 06:08 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

October 30, 2007

Let The Stories Begin....

It's Halloween. Time to just prepare yourself for anything.

Raging Mom always does these great stories around this time of year.

Well today, she does not disappoint.

And this one hits close to home. LITERALLY.

Go. Read.

Plus it explains why THIS was the sight that greeted me when I went out for my morning coffee and smoke.

Actually, what a great thought. My very own ghost.....here to watch over me....

Thanks RM!!

Posted by Tammi at 02:34 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

I Tried to Warn Them....

Well, as a little update on how my two new "projects" at work are going.....

Police, lawyers and CEOs.

They've all been contacted and a couple of plans are in place. Serious progress has been made already.

I know I talk tough, and sometimes it gets me in trouble. But when it's work, and it's my livelyhood.......I most DEFINETLY walk the walk. This is a take no prisoners situation. The funniest part is now my previous employer is also involved and he may even have to offer up a little Thank You when it's all said and done. Ha! That's kind of an added bonus.

Looks like things may be wrapped up in the next week. It's moving fast. And that's as it should be.

I keep tellin' people Don't Mess With My Customers, I think that message is about to be delivered loud and clear.

and just so you know.....I haven't had this much fun in YEARS!!!

Posted by Tammi at 07:23 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

Give a little......

It's Valour IT time!! WooHoo......a time for raising money and awareness for a truly WONDERFUL project.

I've been lucky enough to be a part of this since the FIRST on-line contest, and this year I'm working with the ARMY team to see just how much money we can raise.

But....I know I have limited readership. And I'm also aware that most of my readers follow several of the Mil-Blogs already. Oh, it doesn't get you off the hook - I'm still gonna need you to pony up a few bucks for a GREAT program. But it doesn't stop there. Not by a long shot.

In order to REALLY make an impact we need to step OUTSIDE the blogisphere. Now, I don't have a lot of money. And I don't have a lot of time. But I DO talk. A lot. And I tell EVERYONE about Soldiers Angels and especially Valour IT.

And along with donating I'm asking that you do the same. I've sent an email out to all non-bloggers in my address book. And I'll send another. And probably another until this fundraiser is over on November 11th.

It's THAT important. Every laptop donated makes SUCH an impact. SUCH a difference.

And it's so easy to make that happen. I've found no one who gives me any grief about this program. No matter their politics. HOW can ANYONE begrudge something like this to a wounded hero? I haven't seen it......

So - this is what I'm gonna need for you to do. First - donate to the Army team via the button below. THEN....spread the word. If you're a blogger, pick a team and spread the word. If you're not, you obviously have internet access so send out some emails, talk to the folks around you. TELL THE STORY.

If you aren't comfortable donating on-line there's a snail mail addy....

Soldiers' Angels
Project Valour-IT Fund - ARMY TEAM
1792 E. Washington Blvd
Pasadena, Ca 91104

**make sure to add that ARMY TEAM in there. After all, we ARE the ones making it easy for you. ;-)

Oh - and in case you didn't know - the donation is tax deductible. So now there's NO reason to not participate. None. None at all.


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It's the VERY least that we can do.......

**Matt over at Blackfive - the Army Leadership HQ - has a fabulous post up with all the details. Take a minute and head over there to learn more about this incredible program. It's worth the time. I promise.

Posted by Tammi at 07:04 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

Picture's worth 1000 words

Yeah, well, hmmm.....I think this say's pretty much everything.....

procrastinate.gif

Posted by Tammi at 05:49 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

October 29, 2007

High Drama

My oh my. We got us some HIGH DRAMA goin' on. Right here in my territory.

Actually a couple of story lines. One involves possible/probable stolen goods and the other fraud. And *I* get to play a role in cracking both cases.

I keep tellin' y'all that this is a cut throat business but I'll be honest. In all my years in this industry these are both firsts for me.

Seems there is someone in this area tryin' to encroach on my business. I just found that out yesterday. He, and all I know at this point is it IS a he, may not know it, but he's bitten off way more than he can chew.

This.....is Tammi's World. From Madison to Peoria. It's mine. ALL mine. It's my business. My livelihood. Hands Off! You really don't even want to THINK about opening THAT can of worms.

I am the ONLY authorized (key word) rep in this area. Period. So I don't know what he's trying to accomplish, but it's not a smart move on his part.

The other issue is a bit more complicated and I hope that we (the "proper authorities" and I) get it taken care of soon. THEN I can give you more details. All I can say now is I may make an episode of COPS. It's possible. OK. Probably not, but still...... Wouldn't THAT be a hoot.

So now, along with finding new business, putting out fires, a new line launch I have to deal with all this.

But if I'm really, deep down honest? I'm thinkin' these two situations may turn out to be kinda fun. Oh, I'll find 'em. You can take that to the bank. My only concern is can I control my temper enough to let the system work.......

Posted by Tammi at 09:00 AM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

Happy Birthday Mama

Today is Mama Vi's birthday. She really is an amazing woman who has lead a truly amazing life.

I am one lucky girl to have been blessed with a mother like her.

Here is one of our family's favorite photo's. It's Mama and Daddy a few years before I came along. Notice the sweet, peaceful smiles? Yeah, that was the last time THOSE were ever seen!!!!

Mama and Daddy.jpg

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAMA VI!!!! I know you often wonder, but I really do love you!!!!

Posted by Tammi at 05:09 AM | Comments (13) | TrackBack

I Give Up

OK - I'm proud of myself. Or I was. Well am...Sorta. Ok, not really.

Maybe I should explain.......

I dumped the pieces and parts for the file cabinet out of the box yesterday around noon. My Buc's weren't scheduled to play until a little after 3:00 so I figured it was the perfect time to put that puppy together.

And put together I did.

Folks, there were not two pieces of wood joined in any way when I pulled that thing from the box.

2 drawers that had to be completely assembled, the base cabinet.....holy smoley. And me! The most HANDY person ever. (NOT)

I'll admit it. It took me over 2 hours and lots and lots of cursing before I got everything assembled.

But I did it. And it looks pretty good. Nice detail and the stain is a pretty good match.

Then I put the bottom drawer in. No problem.

I put the top drawer in. BIG problem.

I can't get the sucker to close. I can't get the son of a bitch to even HALF close. AND to make it even better I'm afraid to force it so that I can figure out what it's catching on. I really don't want to break the damned thing after workin' that hard on it.

So......let me just show you what I'm trying to work with here.......

Can you believe this?!?!

Oh, and let me just complete the embarrassment and show you my actual "office". The nice thing is if I have any major projects I now have the dining room table about 6 feet away that I can spread my papers and stuff out on. This set up works just fine for day to day.....Oh, and I'm working on all those cords. That makes me crazy.

my office.jpg

Plus you have to remember.....it's in my living room. So the less intrusive the set up the better.

Mean while....WTF am I going to do about this stupid file drawer?!?!?!?!

Posted by Tammi at 04:54 AM | Comments (10) | TrackBack

Recipe for a Pissed Off Tammi

1 phone call at 4:00am on a Monday

Add in an indignant email copying all sorts of folks.

Flavor that email with phrases like "do your job" and "I NEED..."

Send that email at 4:13am.

Then don't answer your phone when I call you back 15 minutes later.

After mixing well, making sure to avoid coffee (for additional flavor) remove from heat and serve.

Congratulations! You have just created what some folks call a Shit Storm.

There is no way in this world for me to tell you how angry I am at this moment. I'm on my first cup of coffee. The email this ass wipe sent has STEAM rising from it when you open it, No FACTS, just ignorant finger pointing and such. NOW the F*cker isn't answering his phone. Probably thought he could get away with this because it was only 4:00am in Chicago. HA! I DON'T SLEEP!!! I only SELL mattresses, I don't actually USE them. Gotcha!

Posted by Tammi at 04:26 AM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

October 28, 2007

Gave Me Chills

Mike has got a great video posted. You should go see it.

I was in NYC exactly one year ago today. I cannot IMAGINE seeing all those Marines, in their dress blues, walking through Time Square.

Holy Crap. The very thought of it gives me chills........and I mean that in a good way.

Oh, and follow the link he has posted to Our.Marines.com. Some amazing stories. Gives me hope. Not everyone in this country is apathetic.....

Posted by Tammi at 10:05 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Wish You Were Here

Last night we had frost for the first time this year. I can see it on the roof lines and the windshields of the cars parked around.

Have I mentioned how happy I am to have an attached garage? Yeah, trust me, I am.

I sat out on the sun-porch wrapped up in my blankey, sippin' my coffee and just enjoying the HELL out of day break. It was so beautiful as the sun hit all that frost. Glittery. Sparkly. Just so fresh.

I wish I could take pictures. But between my lack of skill and my crappy camera it'd be a waste. But I wish you could have seen the day unfold. It really was beautiful.

Now I've got to go. Gonna go back out to the porch and just relax for a bit........

Posted by Tammi at 08:18 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

Glad you called.....

Hey! T1G?!? Oh you of the "warm and fuzzy" answering machine message!!!

I can't believe you haven't come up with THIS one yourself!

Perfect. It's EXACTLY what I'd expect from you......

SmileyCentral.com

Posted by Tammi at 08:02 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

Plannin' Ahead

Christmas. Holy Cow! It's just around the corner. What's a poor (and I do mean poor) sales rep to do? I need to do a little something for my customers but I cannot and WILL NOT take it out of my personal pocket this year. Nope. Not going down that road again.

So I've been racking my brain, trying to come up with something. I've got an idea and thought I'd throw it out to y'all to see what you think.

First - it's been a rough year for my customers. REALLY rough. I'm so grateful that they stuck it out that I just cannot express myself. So.....I really want to say Thank You.

However, there's no real budget for that. My company doesn't advertise. Or throw a lot of freebies out. We put the value in our product. It's the corporate policy and I actually think it's a good one. Just makes situations like this a bit.....tricky.

So.....for each of the stores I thought I'd make a huge goodie tray. I love to bake for the holidays. BUT I don't need all that stuff sitting around. So I thought I could do a tray of my favorites for every door on my list. Fudge, chocolate covered pretzels, mint meltaways, cookies - you know goodies. With a very nice holiday card.

Then, I want every sales person in every store to know I appreciate them. That they matter to me. Hell, without them, my product wouldn't be sold. So......I found these cool decks of cards in our store room. I thought I would wrap a deck for each rep and put a personal note on each package. I know, small, not terribly practical, but it's SOMETHING. It's more than a pad of paper or a pen. Plus....it's different.

What do you think? For me, the worst part will be the wrapping. I sooooo hate to wrap. But it would say Thank You and not break my bank.

Too cheesy? Chintzy? Or is it alright?

Posted by Tammi at 06:30 AM | Comments (6) | TrackBack

Turn Around (again)

I live in Illinois. Now....if you look at a map, Wisconsin is NORTH of Illinois. And last night I had to go to Wisconsin.

So....I got on 39 and headed......north. duh

At one point 39 joins up with 90. And I keep heading..........north.

Funny how that all works.

Actually I have to tell you I found my destination easily. No problems. No wrong turns. No second thoughts. Perfect.

And of course being me, I had to announce it to everyone.

I have GOT to learn to keep my mouth shut until I'm safely home, home, home. Cause you KNOW the trip back wasn't all sunshine and smiles.

Now...in my defense I was exhausted. And it was late. With a full moon. And I was having a bad hair day. And...well, you get the picture.

Anyway, I'm heading to the highway. I figure I came north to get there, I go south to return home.

Makes perfect sense to me.

Except whoever named the flippin' roads around here made a ittle bitty teeny tiny mistake. No north. No south. Only east or west at that juncture. Seriously.

Damnit!!! How the hell am I supposed to know which turns into south?!?! For cryin' out loud.

And if you know me at all....you know I picked the wrong way. West. I picked west. Cause I figure THE Valley was a little west of where I was picturing myself to be. Hey - I get some credit. At least I PICTURED a damned map!

Oh, and did I mention they only show 90. Not one hint of 39. Until you're on the highway. Going the wrong flippin' direction.

I swear to Pete. It's a conspiracy. It HAS to be. Because NO ONE could be THAT confused all the time. Could they? It's not just me, is it?!?!

Well, no matter. I can pretty well promise I won't be making THAT mistake again.

Posted by Tammi at 06:17 AM | Comments (7) | TrackBack

October 27, 2007

My Favorite Things

You know, on a day by day measure, I thought I was having a pretty crappy week last week. Seriously, I was in a real funk. But looking back, I had lots of smiles. LOTS of smiles. And, while I posted and linked some of them, I thought I'd share some that you might have missed.

Hell, it's Saturday. We've got a little spare time.

Yesterday I opened a new account. WooHoo. There's been a ton of pressure at work to get new business and, well, it hasn't been an easy road. But yesterday I got an order from a small shop outside of Chicago. That is a good thing. Plus, I got an appointment to get product on the floor of a pretty big distributor. That is a VERY good thing. It made me smile.

I had lunch down at Fritz's. Good conversation, some laughs. Exactly what I needed. Then, as I was leaving one of the teenagers in town gave me a "good-bye" hug. I hadn't realized how very much I'd needed one of those.

I'm loving the fall. It's brisk but not cold and the colors are really beautiful this year. Maybe it's because I'm actually getting to enjoy them. Driving to visit customers this week, it was breath taking. And sitting out on the sun porch, watching the leaves in MY yard turn that beautiful red and gold? Yeah, breath taking is the right way to put it.

Did y'all see the news? Sarah (at Trying to Grok) made a pretty big announcement! And I'm so very happy for her and her husband! Congratulations!!!!

I think y'all are aware that Army Wife is a very dear friend of mine. And her children are, simply put, some of the brightest spots in my day to day. Yesterday she posted THESE pictures of Pink Ninja catching a fish. If you can look at these, at that sweet little girl with that beautiful smile and NOT smile back there's just something not right.

Speaking of adorable and pictures.....check out Raging Mom's granddaughter. Holy Cow! Talk about charming........

Anyway....those are a few things that made this week a little better than I thought it was. Kind of a cyber version of counting my blessings.

So tell me.....what were a few of the highlights in YOUR week??

Posted by Tammi at 07:50 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

Experts? Really....?

Ok, I saw I was googled for "how to dress like an Amish man" yesterday.

THAT made me laugh. So I followed the link to see where I fell in the standings. While browsing I see "How to Dress for an Amish Wedding".

WTF?!?! THAT I had to read.

Let's see....what are some of the "highlights" in this little How To gem.....

"Step Three: Expect all of the men to wear bow ties for the special occasion, even though this is unusual for Amish men. "

What? Bow Ties?!?! "...even though this is unusual for Amish men". I thought the whole POINT was to dress LIKE an Amish wedding......

Bow ties? At an Amish Wedding?!?!

Ok - let's go on......

"Step Three: Help the bride make her own dress, which should be in a simple style without a train or trim. The dress should be mid-calf length."

First off....It's pretty obvious to me that Step Three seems to be a problem over all. But all that aside....

You'd think they'd explain a little better about the "simple style" of the dress. You know.....high neck, not fitted too tight....important stuff. The Actual STYLE for cryin' out loud.

THIS is a simple blue dress. Yeah, not exactly appropriate. CUTE but not appropriate.

THIS is another simple blue dress. Let me tell you.....show up wearin' one of those and you'll be sittin' in the barn. With a wool blanket wrapped around you.

I mean really.....it's not hard to google up a decent sampling of a Simple Amish Blue Dress......especially if you're only wanting to LOOK Amish.....

blue dress 3.jpg

For cryin' out loud.

Hmmmm.....maybe along with that Amish Fitness Plan I came up with I could add Amish Wedding Planner to my repertoire.

Posted by Tammi at 05:47 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

October 26, 2007

Take A Moment

You have GOT to read Harvey's latest editorial over at IMAO. I was ROTFLMAO!

And THEN I read the comments. Holy crap! Other than the one that didn't really see the humor in it all....that is about the best comment string ever. EVER. Since I've been blogging for 4+ years ever.

Take the time. Yes, the site may load slow, but trust me. It is WELL worth it!!!

Harvey? THAT is a prime example of why YOU are the blog father!!!! Brilliant. Just brilliant.

Posted by Tammi at 06:39 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

No Serious Damage

Y'all are just so sweet. Seriously. I had any number of emails, and even a couple of calls yesterday asking how everything went at Corporate and checking to see if I needed any help burying the bodies.

That's so nice. Thank you. And so you know, there are no traces of the carnage I inflicted......

Actually the day went pretty well. I didn't get to "surprise" several of the folks I had on my list - we are a travelin' company. But I got to see the new line again and get some cool free stuff to give my customers. Oh, and I scared the crap out of my boss! That was kinda fun!!!

His office is right off of our show room. I heard him on the phone so I wandered around waiting, just out of sight. As soon as I heard him finish his conversation I say..."Just when you think it's safe to hang up the phone.....".

"Oh Shit!!"

Seriously. That's what he said! I can't understand THAT reaction at ALL...

SmileyCentral.com

We got about a five minute chat then I had a meeting. By the time I got clear he was long gone. On a plane gone. He left the damned STATE to get out of talkin' to me!!!

Anyway - it's fine. I have a car loaded with cool free stuff and some great leads for new business.

Got home and the desk was here! WooHoo!!! I put it together last night and it is beautiful. Hopefully the file cabinet gets here today then I'll spend some time getting organized.

So it was a good day. It really was. But it sure is nice to know someone or a bunch of someones cared about how it went.

Thanks y'all!!!

Posted by Tammi at 06:21 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

Can't You See It?!?

Math has NEVER been my strong point. And, logic? Are you NUTS?!?

Well, that's not completely true anymore, but growin' up? In school? College??!! There was a reason I started out a music major and ended up a communications major....I can sing, dance and talk. You go with your strengths.....

You see way back, long ago when I was just starting junior high school I started having terrible headaches. They put me in the hospital to try and figure out what was causing it, then I spent another 2 weeks at home. At the time, they thought I was faking it, but later discovered it was a little side benefit of a certain accident. Anyway.....I missed the introduction to fractions and decimals in our math class.

My teacher felt that, given my personality and such I didn't really need that stuff anyway, so he didn't have me make up the work. To this day, I'd like to tie him to a post covered with honey on an ant hill....but that's a story for another day.

After that, math never clicked for me. Ever. Until......I discovered spreadsheets. And charts and graphs. Holy Crap! It was like the world was flooded with light. It all made glorious sense.

Now, professionally, I am known for my analysis. NO one messes with me once I pull out one of those. You put me in front of a computer with Power Point, Excel or Access and I will slice and dice til there's no tomorrow. And Stats? Oh, it's like play time for me. Love Love Love.

And it makes no sense at all. None. Cause without a computer and or a calculator? I'm completely lost.

That's right folks. Outside of business I, well, let's just say I struggle.

So....when I saw this poster it just made me smile. Cause I soooo get it. Everyday. It pretty much captures Tammi Logic.

simplicity.gif

Seriously. I can so see myself giving that very answer...........

Posted by Tammi at 05:58 AM | Comments (10) | TrackBack

October 25, 2007

Today's Special

A friend of mine once described this blog as the Corner Diner of the blogisphere. You know, a place you can come to for a cup of coffee, piece of pie or even a big ole meal of home cookin'.

I kinda like that description. It suites me.

Well, based on my mood this morning and the resulting posts, I'd say today's special is Liver and Onions. A good down home meal, but not something everyone enjoys.

Sorry about that. But you can't please everybody everyday.

Don't worry. There will be pie again. Soon.

Meanwhile, remember.....Man cannot live on pie alone........

Posted by Tammi at 07:43 AM | Comments (11) | TrackBack

The Perfect Storm?

Wow. If the seriousness of my two previous posts are any indication, today may just be THE day for me to head to the corporate office!

The combination of 5 continuous hours of sleep and 3 bad days in a row has made the equivalent of the perfect storm.

I'm in the mood to kick some ass and take some names......

I think I'll wear my shit kickin' boots today......

Posted by Tammi at 06:48 AM | Comments (6) | TrackBack

There's More Than One Guilty

There is a storm a-brewin'. Big time. And it's not anything new at this point. It boils down to accountability. To responsibility. To doing the right thing - standing by your words and/or actions. And accepting the consequences.

I told y'all in THIS post that there is more to the Scott Beauchamp story than we had read. There had to be.

Well....surprise surprise. There IS.

Let's look at the definition of libel (taken from Dictionary.com):

"1. Law.
a. defamation by written or printed words, pictures, or in any form other than by spoken words or gestures.
b. the act or crime of publishing it.
c. a formal written declaration or statement, as one containing the allegations of a plaintiff or the grounds of a charge.

2. anything that is defamatory or that maliciously or damagingly misrepresents.

This whole thing started because Scott Beauchamp made up some horrific stories. And then it was compounded when TNR published them as fact. BOTH of those things together make it a crime. Libel is a crime.

Beauchamp finally, for whatever reason, came clean with his part. TNR? Has not. And THAT is comin' back to bite them. Big time.

Does knowing that TNR deliberately withheld the truth from us lessen what STB did? No. No it does not.

Does any of this make up for the horrible lies he told about our military? Not at ALL.

And no one is asking you to look past any of that. What is happening now, hopefully, is that TNR will have to pony up for THEIR part of it. For THEIR lies.


When a group of people commit a crime, we go after the entire group. From the point man to the get away driver. EVERYONE is guilty. EVERYONE should be held accountable for their actions.

THAT is what is happening now. Oh, TNR is still trying to hold on to their innocence...but it's all unraveling now. As it should.

So, as this continues to be a story throughout the blogisphere, just keep that in mind. No one is asking that we over look what STB did. We are simply asking that all those involved in this diabolical be held accountable. Period.

Read Blackfive's take on it HERE.

And, as usual, Michelle Malkin has about the best round up HERE.

Posted by Tammi at 06:39 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Flashback and Focus

The other day while I was working at the computer I turned on the TV. Playing on one of the movie channels was the documentary telling the story of the 1980 USA Olympic Hockey Team.

I had to stop and watch. And yes, it still gives me chills. Still gets my eyes all misty.

I think what I like best about this documentary is it goes into details. The details of the mess this country was in. The Iran Hostage Crisis had just begun. Gas was scarce. Stations shut down, lines everywhere. America was a bad word throughout the world. It was horrible.

I remember.

I was a senior in high school. I remember being in the locker room, the talk of the draft being reinstated. The panic. The anger.

Then Carter threatened to boycott the Summer Olympics. For a time it looked like the Russians would do the same for the Winter session.

It was a time when the Olympics meant something. It was a matter of national pride.

And there was that hockey team. Those young men, college boys, taking on the world. In a sport that, well let's face it.....America wasn't known for it's strength in the world hockey league.

And those fresh faced boys won. They beat those big bad Russians. They gave this country something to be proud of, something to cheer for.

It's a great story. Hell...it's the American Dream for cryin' outloud. Something so simple, a HOCKEY GAME, united the focus of this country. Gave us a REASON to hold our heads high.

I wonder though....do you think that could happen in this day and age? Were we too naive then? Too simple?

Or is it that we're too jaded now?

Posted by Tammi at 05:30 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

October 24, 2007

Above and Beyond

I received an email with an opportunity to say Thank YOU to one of the most amazing people I have ever met. Patti Patton-Bader, the woman who began that incredible organization, Soldiers' Angels.

Patti is a finalist in the Microsoft Above and Beyond Awards. There are several categories and Patti has been nominated for The Effort Award. Here is a bit about that:

The Effort Award:
This award recognizes an individual who:

* Offers outstanding support and comfort to our troops.

* Helps enhance morale and personal welfare of our troops.

* Through their mentorship, inspires other groups/individuals to create new and unique ways to show their support of the troops.

* Has impacted the lives of many through their leadership and guidance

Now honestly. Can you think of ANYONE that describes more than Patti? I know I can't.

There will be an award ceremony in New York City on November 12th.

So follow the link to vote. Compared to all she's done and continues to do every day, it's the LEAST that we can do....

Oh, and then go HERE to adopt a soldier.

Posted by Tammi at 05:56 AM | Comments (6) | TrackBack

Fire Storm

My friend Lex is out in the middle of the Fire Storm on the west coast. He, Doc Sean, FBL, DaGoddess and some one of my oldest friends.

To say I've been keeping an eye on things is a bit of an understatement.

Lex keeps us posted on how he and his family are doing. (my friends live near him, so I've been payin' particular attention until communication lines are bettter)

Sean is ok, and that's very good news. And you're right Sean - the worst disasters ALWAYS come when you're not prepared....

FBL is still waiting to hear if their home is alright......I cannot imagine...

DaGoddess and her Little Dude are doing alright as of this post. Very good news.

This is just a horrific situation. I remember the fires in Florida back in the late '90's - nothing to this magnitude. But ohhh, the smell, the ash, the devastation.....my thoughts and prayers go out now.

Sure does put my day yesterday in perspective.......

Posted by Tammi at 05:13 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

Good Advice

Here's another "motivation" poster that actually fits how my day went yesterday to a "T".

consideration.gif

Maybe it should have flown through the internet whenever someone sent me an email...kinda like a "read receipt" giving them the chance to think..."do I REALLY want to send HER this?" Or better yet, before they called me this poster would have shown up like a text message, double checking that they REALLY wanted to open that particular can of worms.....

Any way you look at it this is the PERFECT representation of my day yesterday. Now today? Who knows how that'll turn out....but I'm willin' to bet there are a few people around that have seen that giant gorilla and are AFRAID. VERY afraid.......

Posted by Tammi at 04:40 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

Fightin' Mad

Pam leads us to one of the funniest ads I've seen in a long time.

It's kinda long, but I think it's worth it.

You have GOT to check this out.....

Posted by Tammi at 04:31 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

October 23, 2007

So THAT'S Where He Went

Zonker hasn't posted in a coons age. Blank. His front page is blank....

And I think I've figured out where he went.

Mullets Galore.

Seriously. It has his name all over it!!!

Posted by Tammi at 08:15 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

Special?

I received some "motivational" posters via email yesterday. I'm just not clickin' yet, so I thought I'd share one of them I just had to giggle over....it's rather appropriate.....

unique.gif


Posted by Tammi at 06:38 AM | Comments (10) | TrackBack

Mr Sandman??????

Sleep would make me very happy about now.

I don't get it. Sleepy, couldn't keep my eyes open last evening. Went to bed and can't get to sleep. I've turned and tossed, tossed and turned. Hummed, read, you name it...it didn't work.

I haven't completely given up the fight. I've got some water brewin' for some Tension Tamer Tea, in the hopes that I can at least get an hour or so of snooze time.

Good thing I don't have to teach a class on "the importance of sleep" tomorrow.....although I could use myself as the visual aid!

UPDATE: I managed to catch a couple hour nap, of all places out on the sun porch.....silly? yep. But I'll take it!

Posted by Tammi at 02:54 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

October 22, 2007

In the soup

I made a pot of vegetable soup yesterday that would kick your ass....seriously. It has ATTITUDE!!!

Now, I hadn't made veggie soup for, oh crap over 10 years. But I figure how hard can it be? Right? Right.

I browned the stew meat, added some "special spices" and then used V8 as my base and started adding veggies. More "special spices" and WOW!!

May have been a bit heavy on the pepper, but it's PERFECT for the cool evening today. And....being me.....I made a tad too much (2 gallons to be exact) so I've got some to freeze.

But good? Oh yeah. AND good for you!!! It's a win win. Have I ever mentioned how much I love a win win? Yeah, I do.

Anyway - I just had to tell you..........My Veggie Soup ROCKS. Just sayin'......

Posted by Tammi at 05:31 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

Tawoo Wuv

Today is a pretty big day! It's Carmen's 1 year wedding anniversary!!

Wow. I can't believe a year ago I was down in St Pete, hot....oh it was so hot that day......watching this beautiful young woman that I love and admire so much, say her vows and begin a new life with this wonderful young man.

And what a year it's been!!!!

Happy Anniversary Sweetie! You've grown into an amazing woman, an enchanting wife and a wonderful mother. I couldn't be prouder.

wedding.JPG

**picture shamelessly stolen from her site....

Posted by Tammi at 09:28 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

Heart and Soul

I am so excited. Paradise is slowly, piece by piece coming together.

I'm still paying on the furniture for the Football Room. I refuse to bring it home until it is paid off. So each payday I put a little on it and just keep waiting. It's hard. I'm not known for my patience. But I know it's the right way to do things.....so I keep plugging along.

It's been very frustrating because, while I'm anxious to use that space downstairs, each and every day I'm confronted with empty rooms here on the main level. As I sit at my desk, working, to my left is a big empty room that is waiting to have some attention paid to it.

Well......it's finally going to have a table. And chairs. It will be a dining room again.

I found a desk that I like. AND a file cabinet. I've needed the file cabinet for a while now. These piles of folders and papers has been driving me crazy. But.....like the furniture for the basement, I couldn't just go out and buy whatever. Well, it's on it's way. Should be here by Friday.

So Friday I will pull everything off the desk, and set it all up again. Only this time organized. Then....and for me this is the most exciting part......I'll move this table into the dining room. I've already got a beautiful fall tablecloth just waiting to be put to use. A dramatic bowl with a candle and, while not the end result I have in my mind - a dining room none the less. A table that I can set, and serve my guests at. A gathering place.

While the kitchen is the heart of the home, in my mind, the family table is the soul. Paradise has been missing that. At least to me.

And it's getting me refocused. I'll be putting up the new curtain rods this week, and actually hanging some things on the wall. Little things, but important to me.

Heart AND Soul. Finally.....

Posted by Tammi at 06:46 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

Proud Mama

Sticks is a very proud Mama, and she SHOULD be! Her son has graduated and is now officially a Marine.

Head on over and congratulate them!

And Sticks? That's a mighty handsome crew you have there! Good Job!!!

Posted by Tammi at 06:26 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

Happy Birthday Dee

Today is my little sister's birthday. I will always call her that because, well she is younger than I am. And she's a short little shit. Seriously, we no more look like sister's than the man in the moon. If the girl's 5'3" I'd be surprised. I top her by almost a foot.

Well today is the day we celebrate HER. I introduced y'all to her way back in the beginning of my blogging life. She's a firefighter and a paramedic. I just found out this weekend that she's going back to school to finish her nursing degree. She helps people. That's what she does. It's a large part of who she is.

Her day to day consists of doing things I cannot imagine, seeing things that would give most of us nightmares. And without people like her this world would be a pretty horrible place.

Happy Birthday Dee. I'm proud of you darlin'. Just in case I haven't told you lately......

Posted by Tammi at 06:21 AM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

October 21, 2007

I Am What I Am

Lana survived her "doctors visit". My pocketbook took a hit, and we've got more to do....but it's better.

The mechanic is a guy I've known. He worked on my cars back before I moved to Florida. He's the only person Mama will let touch her cars.

So, I dropped off Lana with not a care.

When I called to see if she was ready he listed off everything he did, and then had a surprise for me.

You see, I have this loose "panel" on the drivers door. It's just decoration, but I haven't had it taken care of yet. Well....he was tickled pink to tell me he took care of it.

Cool.

I asked what I owed him for it, and he said nothing. It was quick and easy and he's just happy I don't mind.

Cooler.

So, my God-Mother takes me over around 7:00 to pick the car up. As we pull up next to her I just busted up.

See folks.....I keep tellin' you I'm just a good 'ole girl. Seriously. My ex was redneck in the roughest sense of the word, and I'd be lyin' if I said none of it ever rubbed off on me.

One day, my rear bumper feel off the car. He's idea of fixin' it? Yeah, he put a railroad tie on the back of my car. THAT is a redneck fix.

So, I didn't even bat an eye when I saw he fixed my car by ductaping the piece to the door.

Seriously....I am what I am. A VP of Sales driving around with her car ductaped together.......

Are you surprised?

Posted by Tammi at 12:25 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

Games People Play

It was a good weekend. It really was.

Dinner went pretty well Friday night. They seemed to like the food and everyone hung around to play games for a nice bit.

Mama Vi was in hog heaven.

Saturday, Mama and I got up, spent some time chatting and then decided to run some errands. The day flew by, and next thing we knew it was early evening.

Now, we are a game playin' family. Especially cards. Years ago, I don't remember how it came up, but some how I ended up teaching Mama how to play Gin.

She loves it. Every chance we get, she's pullin' out the cards for a couple of games.

Folks? It's not really Gin. It's sorta kinda LIKE Gin, but it ain't Gin.

I don't have the heart to tell her.

At one point in time she was laughing so hard I was afraid I'd have to find the oxygen. She had a ball!!!!

But I'm just sayin'.....if you're ever invited over to Mama Vi's and she wants to play Gin? Yeah, play dumb. Please.

Cause otherwise........I'm in a world of hurt!

Posted by Tammi at 12:16 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

A Moment with Mama Vi

Y'all enjoy this tidbit.

Mama Vi and I sittin' at the kitchen table talking about fall, Thanksgiving and such.

Tammi: I sure wish I had a pretty fall center piece.

Mama Vi: Well just make one. They're easy.

Tammi:......

Mama Vi: Oh. Never mind. I forgot who I was talkin' too.

Mama Vi: hehehehehehehe

I guess we can all see who the TRUE comedienne in the family is........

Posted by Tammi at 11:38 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

October 19, 2007

I'll Remember

I just saw this headline:

Deborah Kerr, Actress Known for Genteel Grace and a Sexy Beach Kiss, Dies at 86

Deborah Kerr. What a wonderful actress.....

Yes she is infamous for that kiss on the beach in From Here to Eternity. As she should be, that was one HOT scene.

But my favorite of her roles were in The King and I and....yes, An Affair to Remember. THAT is one of my all time favorite movies. Ever. Period.

Old Hollywood is slipping away. Those Stars of Old who KNEW they were entertainers....not political analysts or experts in War and Peace. Back in the day.....it was about the image. And folks really worked at that image. It was ENTERTAINMENT.

affair.jpg

Posted by Tammi at 07:36 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

Weekend at Mama's

This weekend we celebrate my sister, Dee's birthday. Mama's is a week later.

Now normally I get everyone together and we all go out to eat. Since I don't "do" the kids' birthdays anymore, we just celebrate everything all at once.

This year I'm going to cook for the family. One, the cost of taking everyone out for a nice meal - 6 of us and my God-Mother - is just scary. Plus, it's not quality time together. And damnit...we are a family. We WILL act like one at least ONCE a year.

So, I'm making a couple of pan of Chicken Enchilada's (thanks AW), some Mexican rice, and cornbread. For dessert we're having apple crisp and cinnamon ice cream.

Then, what I'd like to see happen, is everyone have a nice evening talking, laughing and playing games. A Family Night. That's all I want is a pleasant Family Night.

We'll see how that goes. The laughin' could be iffy - afterall, we all know *I'm* not funny!

I'm also takin' Lana in today. She's going under the knife as it were. I can only hope if I have to drop all this money in her it accomplishes more than getting the light on the dashboard to go off. If this doesn't do it, well.....it's not a happy thought.

I'll be back in Paradise by kick off Sunday.

That, at least, is the plan.

Weekend at Mama's. I'm thinkin' Blog Fodder Extrodinaire.

If nothin' else, I've really been cravin' apple crisp and cinnimon ice cream......

Posted by Tammi at 07:21 AM | Comments (6) | TrackBack

Funny Email

This made me laugh.........

A woman went to a WalMart service counter and told the clerk she wanted a refund for the toaster she bought because it won't work The clerk told her that he can't give her a refund because she bought it on special.

Suddenly, the woman threw her arms up in the air and started screaming "Pinch my nipples! Pinch my nipples!!"

The befuddled clerk ran away to get the store manager in front of a growing crowd of customers.

The manager comes to the woman and asks,"Ma'am what's wrong?"

She explains the problem with the toaster, and he also tells her that he can't give her a refund because she bought it on special.

Once again, the woman throws her arms up in the air and screams "Pinch my nipples! Pinch my nipples!!" which begins to draw an even bigger crowd!

In shock, the store manager pleads, "Ma'am, why are you saying that?"

In a huff, the woman says.....

"BECAUSE, I LIKE TO HAVE MY NIPPLES PINCHED WHEN I'M BEING SCREWED!!"

The crowd broke into applause and her money was quickly refunded!!

Posted by Tammi at 06:06 AM | Comments (6) | TrackBack

October 18, 2007

OK - THIS is Funny

Blackfive has a bit too much time on his hands....but damn. THIS is funny!

I got to meet the "stars" of this video at MilBlog Conf this past spring. They may not remember me, but I'll never forget them. Pretty special folks.

But all that being said? Yeah, this is still pretty damned funny!!!

Posted by Tammi at 10:31 AM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

Prayers Needed

Go over to Sgt Hook's place, read this and then start prayin'.

Posted by Tammi at 07:02 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

The Present

This is the end of a series I am doing to try and help raise awareness of Domestic Abuse.

Other posts from this series can be found here:
Explaination
I'm Sorry
Don't Ignore It
Buddy's Hiding Place
Independence Day
No Hollywood Endings

Ok - so I shared a bit of my "other life". I guess, since there are several out there that have asked, that don't know, I'll give you a bit of the "Where They Are Now" stuff.

My boys - they're good. They have homes, jobs and families. They don't speak to me and that's alright. I get it. I was the 1st Stepmom, and that period in all our lives was ugly. Sometimes it's just easier to block it out.

My ex - he's still in the same area he was when I left. Shortly after our divorce, he married his long time girl friend (who I knew nothing about) and they are living on the farm he built. Life has been hard on him, and I'm alright with that. And I know, some day, he'll have to answer for all that he did. Plus - from what I hear, the guilt is kinda kickin' his ass. I'm alright with that too. He is still not drinking, which is quite frankly, amazing. We don't talk. We don't see each other. We have ZERO contact. It's better for everyone that way.

Me - I moved to Florida during the divorce. A fresh start as it were. I've struggled with some of the emotional stuff, but it's all a part of the process. Moving back up north was tough, but it's turned out to be a very good thing. I'm good. I'm really good. And every day it gets just that much better.

The divorce itself was not quick or easy. It got pretty damned ugly as a matter of fact. But that wasn't unexpected, not at all. I made some Terrible for Tammi decisions, but all I could focus on was getting it over with. Moving on. Closing that chapter. I'd have done anything to make that happen.

That was another lifetime to me. I was a different person, and I think, so were they. Not a fairy tale ending, by any stretch of the imagination, but one that is acceptable to me.

When I started blogging I was very open about the fact that I would blog a bit about everything that caught my attention. And I stated outright that I had been in an abusive situation and that Domestic Abuse was something I would NOT shy away from talking about. It's a hot button for me.

And I'm proud of the fact that I've kept my word there. But I will tell you this - I will NEVER write about it as I have this past month. Telling the stories is one thing, but writing them out? Yeah, no more. Too hard. Makes things too fresh.

But it was something that needed to be done. And look! We all survived. I survived the reliving of it. You survived reading about it. Now......let's not just move on. Tuck what you've read, learned, felt inside your heart. Be more aware. Be more understanding. Don't make me feel like this has been an exercise in futility.

That would really disappoint me.....

Posted by Tammi at 05:50 AM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

So.....

....what are YOUR plans for today?

Mine? I think I'm stayin' right here, close to home.

Wanna know why?

I'm not goin' out in this mess if I don't have to!!!

Plus this should be one hell of a show, and I've got front row seats......

Posted by Tammi at 05:18 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

What do you think?

I have this now infamous piece of stained glass art. I love it. A friend of mine made it for me to give to some friends for Christmas one year. It's their sailboat out on the Gulf.

Well, I accidentally sat on it (don't ask) and it cracked. So, she being the sweetie she is, made a replacement. She let me keep the cracked one.

I really really love that piece. It's always the first thing I hang when I move into a place. Here? It's on the sun-porch. I get to enjoy it when I'm out there and it's the first thing my guests see when they come into my home.

I think the reason I love it so much is two-fold. One, my friend made it. But it also represents what I loved best about life when I was living in Florida.

My time on the water, especially sailing, was some of the BEST time I'd ever spent. That piece truly reflects what was so good about my life.

Then.

I've been thinking I'd like to get another piece. Something that reflects my NOW. But that led to the realization that I didn't know what that would be.

Maybe a country scene, in the fall. I do sooo love the fall colors. And the countryside up here is really beautiful.

But I don't know. It's weird because I really don't DO anything any more. Not anything that effects me like sailing did.

Y'all read over here pretty regular. Do YOU have any suggestions? Come on....what do you think?

Posted by Tammi at 05:16 AM | Comments (8) | TrackBack

October 17, 2007

Bum

I was up early this morning, posted quickly and then had a project in mind.

A project that involved lots and lots of data, raw and unorganized. I ran everything off and put it into some sort of order so I could start building my data base.

Oh, I took a moment or two to talk on the phone. I put out a few fires with work, and followed a couple of situations.

But for the most part? Yeah, it was/is me and the data.

I just went into the kitchen to make another cup of tea when I realized something wasn't right. I couldn't put my finger on it, but something just was....wrong.

I just looked down and realized I never got dressed. Hell, I didn't even comb my hair. Brushed my teeth, yeah. Hair? No.

My entire attempt at "dressing" was throwing a denim shirt on over my jammies. And I'll be honest.....I don't even remember doing that.

I'm torn between enjoying this kind of freedom, feeling shame for being so lazy and a tad bit of concern that I got that wrapped up in the numbers.

Anyway you look at it, I *AM* comfortable, so there's that.

But I sure do wish I knew when I put this shirt on. THAT'S kinda freaky......

Posted by Tammi at 04:29 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

Tammi's Words of Wisdom

Got this email. Some days this is truer than you'd believe.

watch and see what happens

somedays.gif


Posted by Tammi at 10:56 AM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

In Chicago?

Mike the Marine tells us about a new Marine Corps Academy of Math and Science that just opened in, of all places, Chicago. It was opened by the Chicago Public Schools.

Huh. To say I'm shocked would be an understatement.

But shocked in a good way.

Teaching kids discipline? Preparing them for college? In Chicago?

AND, they are planning on opening more! Supported by other Branches!!

Of course we've got those that think it's evil and must be destroyed, but THAT is NOT unexpected.

It's all good in my book.

Posted by Tammi at 06:25 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

Amazing

I drove down to Sterling yesterday. It's about 45 minutes south of here, if you take the "back way".

I LOVE that drive. Part of it is along the river, the other is just beautiful wooded countryside. Finally the leaves are starting to turn that golden hue that hits just before they go to full out color. I could hardly WAIT to do this.

I don't have a cell signal for a good half of that trip and honest to goodness that is just fine with me. It really is that pretty. I found this route shortly after I moved up here and, well, every season it is just stunning.

As I was driving yesterday I came to a nice "S" curve that leads into a "tree tunnel". Then, you're on to some open fields that are bordered by woods.

As I'm driving along I see it. A deer. In the field. I *see* it. Then a bit farther a couple more, on the side of the road. I slow a bit, waiting to see what they're gonna do, and they dash back into the woods.

It was all just enchanting.

And amazing.

Amazing because I actually SAW the deer. Normally? Yeah, I don't see them. Oh, they're there. Sometimes there on the side of the road. There have actually been times they were in the MIDDLE of the road! I just never see them. Really. Ask just about anyone that's ridden with me....

So not only did I have a beautiful drive, but I didn't kill myself hittin' any deer.

I'm thinkin' that is pretty damned amazing!!!

Posted by Tammi at 05:48 AM | Comments (8) | TrackBack

Gonna Have To Work On That

One of our new mattress lines is "green". As in Eco-friendly green. It's kinda cool and with all that crap with Gore and that Peace Prize the timing is great. I'd tell you more about it, but then I'd have to kill you and honestly my sitemeter numbers are low enough as it is.

ANYway.......

I was walking the entire line and overwhelmed. My boss was walking me through and explaining it all.

Now, just so you know, when something grabs my attention I'm a little focused. And I'll be honest, I wasn't focused on the "green" beds.

He kept draggin' my ass over there tellin' me about the benefits and such but I just kept walkin' away.

Finally he stops in the middle of the room and hollers "TAMMI! Did you hear ANYTHING I said about this line!" scowl scowl scowl

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Eco-friendly, organic. I'll find some damned hippy that likes that shit." And off I was to the part of the line that *I* was excited about.

I jump a bit as he put his hand on my arm. I look over and he has this expression on his face. It was a bit like what you see when a 5 year old is asking if there really IS a Santa Claus.

"Please tell me you have a filter. Please! And that you actually turn it on..."

Yeah I may need to work on that. Filter. On. That's gonna be important.......

Posted by Tammi at 05:39 AM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

October 16, 2007

Happy Birthday

He'd be 77 years old today.

daddy fishing.jpg

Happy Birthday Daddy! I sure hope the fishin' is good in Heaven!!!!

Posted by Tammi at 07:26 AM | Comments (9) | TrackBack

I don't get it!

Conversation with Mama Vi:

Mama Vi: You know, I've been thinking about how you used to make Daddy laugh. He thought you were soooo entertaining!

Tammi: Yeah, those are some of my best memories.

Mama Vi: A lot of people think you're really funny.

Tammi: Well, at least that's somethin'

Mama Vi: I don't get it. I don't think you're funny at all.

Tammi:.................


God love her - you always know where you stand with Mama Vi!!!!

Posted by Tammi at 07:22 AM | Comments (10) | TrackBack

Fine. It'll be Fine.

I am a "FIXER". Oh, not around the house, and certainly not my car. No, that seems to be my job.

And it's been my job for a while now.

I get hired and put in situations that, well, suck. Sales droppin' like a lead balloon, reps so burnt out they just don't care. Ugly. U.G.L.Y. Ugly.

And exhausting. When every phone call is something else wrong, that gets old pretty quick. When you're supposed to be out and meeting with customers and you spend most of your time alone in your house, answering emails and running reports that's not a good thing.

But this time it's different. But not in a good way. I'm used to working for the Big Dogs. Companies that already own the market share. Brands that people know, and trust (right or wrong). This is the first time I've worked for the underdog.

Man....it's really TOUGH pullin' yourself out of the basement. Especially when the foundation you have to work with is rotten.

I'm exhausted. And disheartened. And frustrated.

Or at least I was.

I had been thinking the last few weeks that I may have made a tactical error taking this job. Oh, I love so much about it. I really do. But maybe I'm not the right person to fix this stuff. Maybe I'm not the right person to pull this all together. Maybe I'm not good enough.

I deal with those thoughts on a personal level A LOT. But in my professional life? I'm usually pretty confident. So this train of thought scared the hell out of me.

But yesterday kind of snapped me out of that. Gave me a bit of hope. I had a great meeting in the morning and then went to corporate in the afternoon. I saw the future - our new line. This company's announcement that we have arrived.

And it is about the most impressive thing I've ever seen. Seriously. Prices are PERFECT! We are focusing on the working folk. Making a great product at a price that doesn't break the bank. And they look incredible. It's a line that I cannot wait to show my dealers.

It's gonna shake things up in this industry in a way they haven't been shook since 2002. And I get to be a part of it. All I have to do is hold on to the dealers I have now, and build some excitement with potential dealers for next year. That won't be hard. Yes, the line is just that good.

Someone threw me a lifeline. Just when I needed it most. I didn't make a mistake taking this job. I can do this. It'll be just fine.

I slept 8 hours last night. For the first time in a long long time.

It's all gonna be just fine.

Posted by Tammi at 06:09 AM | Comments (6) | TrackBack

No Hollywood Endings

This is a part of the series I am doing to try and help raise awareness of Domestic Abuse.

Other posts from this series can be found here:
Explaination
I'm Sorry
Don't Ignore It
Buddy's Hiding Place
Independence Day


I want to make something clear. This series on Domestic Abuse has been about a few things. Making people aware of the problem. Making it a bit more personal. Smashing some of the stereotypes out there.

You see Domestic Abuse is NOT just a "trailer trash" problem. When I met my ex I was 21 years old, feisty as all get out, strong, full of laughter. But he found my "soft spot". I got sucked in. If it can happen to me, it can happen to anyone.

And I didn't share this stuff to garner any sympathy. It was what it was. It is what it is. I'm NOT a victim. I'm a survivor. Plain and simple, and there is a big difference.

But you also need to know there are no happy endings when it comes to abuse. Disagree if you must, but I'm tellin' you I'm right on this.

There are only three outcomes.

The victim leaves. That can sound like a happy ending, but it's HARD. You deal with baggage. And nightmares. You're scared - both physically and emotionally. I am finally past most of the nightmares. They are rare. Thank God. But I don't do relationships well at all. I am PICKY. And stand-offish. And when I do finally give my heart, I'm miserable. It's like showin' your belly. I'm vulnerable and I hate that feeling. But....I'm getting better at it. Every day. However it isn't easy or natural....and that is part and parcel of where I come from.

Another option is death. Death of the victim or, sometimes of the abuser. Neither of those are good. No matter the circumstances or what we say - death is NOT the answer.

Last but not least, a lot of folks just stay put. Ride the storm out as it were. Decades of pain, physically and emotionally. Not good. What a horrible way to live. And, just so you know - never an option for me.

But there are no "Hollywood Endings". Once the cycle starts it's there. Always. And that SUCKS. I wish I could say otherwise, but it is what it is.

The secret is in how you deal with it. You can wallow, use it all as an excuse, or you can use it as a building block. You can acknowledge it's there, find a way to USE that as a way to help.

I spent time for a while going around speaking to raise awareness and money to fight Domestic Violence. In fact, this series contains much of what I used to talk about. It's taking something that is evil, bad, painful and making it a life raft. Using that to save someone else.

Personally speaking, that's the only option I ever considered. I'm not special because of that, doesn't make me an especially good person - it's just my way of fighting off the demons.

Now here's my question for you. What are you going to do? Are you going to keep your head buried in the sand, pretend it's not YOUR problem or are you going to open your damned eyes and see what happens around you? Pick up the phone, call someone out? You don't have to run a shelter to make a difference. A kind word, a place to stay, calling the cops. It all helps.

But just remember - it can happen to anyone. And it doesn't make 'em a bad person.

Posted by Tammi at 05:03 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

October 15, 2007

Ironic

I wasn't a "Doll" kinda kid. Really wasn't fond of them. However, you can't be a little girl and not get any dolls from somebody.

So....I got one for my birthday. Now, I keep tellin' y'all I'm a bit of a talker, so it should come as no surprise that THIS was the doll I got.....

Not only was she marketed as a clothes horse - which I was at a VERY early age. BUT, for cryin' out loud....her name was CHATTY Cathy. My family has a very ironic sense of humor.

So....fast forward ummm a lot of years and Gieco has a new commercial out. Holy Cow!! It's Chatty Cathy!!!! And THIS version seems to be even MORE like me than the other one!!

Do YOU see the similarity???

Posted by Tammi at 05:51 AM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

Let's Play Favorites

I haven't done this in a while, and I think this morning is the perfect time....

Let's play Favorites. I'll list a couple of choices and you tell me your favorite. Might be I miss yours all together, so feel free to "write in" your choice. Mine will be in bold.....

Comet or Ajax

Dole or Del Monte

Pepsi or Coke

Colgate or Crest

Miller or Bud

Yin or Yang (definition link added - thanks Pam!)

Cake or Pie

Coffee or Tea

Staples or Paper Clip

Yes, I prefer tea over coffee, except in the morning. But I drink at least 3x more tea than coffee.

And in case you didn't know, Yang = fire/earth, light - even though Yin is considered the more "feminine" of the two, I've never really been your typical girl.

So what about you? Do you have a preference?

Posted by Tammi at 05:22 AM | Comments (9) | TrackBack

Just the Facts Please

Did you see the 60 Minutes spot last night regarding Blackwater?

I think I've now SEEN the definition of bias.

Amazing. She worked so very hard to put just TOO MUCH emphasis on all the bad words....arrogant, murder, reckless...........

Unbelievable....

And what does that say about me, that even after all these years, and having it pointed out time and time again, I'm still so disappointed. So shocked each time it happens.

Am I naive? Stupid? Or just overly optimistic because I keep thinking someone out there wants to tell the story with just the facts - no interpretation?

Posted by Tammi at 05:00 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

October 14, 2007

Is It A Holiday?

Christmas maybe? My birthday???

What ever it is, I'm smilin' pretty big right now.

Football is gettin' ready to start and I turned on the Fox Pregame Show. Guess who was the guest? Go ahead....guess....

lynch bucs.bmp

Ok, so that's wishful thinking on my part, plus you can't really TELL who it is....how 'bout this one?

John_Lynch_on_Set_2.JPG

JOHN LYNCH!! It was John Lynch!!!!

Ahhhhhh....

And I looked for the proof, but can't find it on-line. But the man looks just as good goin' as he does comin' towards you.

I love football..........

And have I ever mentioned what a nice boy he is. :-)

Posted by Tammi at 01:01 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

It's Just a Name

Well, it was another night of me and those damned infomercials. I don't know what's going on lately, but no matter how tired I am, come midnight I am wide awake.

Anyway.....something really jumped out at me last night. And it's not the first time I've noticed it, but it really stood up and slapped me last night.

I'm sick and tired of the "catchy" names companies give the features in their products. Let's talk beds for example:

Super Soft Support Foam
High Density Hospital Foam
Individually Pocketed Coil

Using any of those phrases when I'm trying to do my job COULD get me sued. Sued...

So we have a different name for Super Soft Support Foam. But you know what? It's the same damned thing.....we just can't use the name.

See, from what I understand companies trademark the NAME rather than the product. That way if you change the product you're still covered......it's all about what you call it!

Guys? Super soft support foam? Yeah - it's soft.
Individually pocketed coils? You got, coils...in a bag....by themselves.
High Density Foam? Surprise surprise....it's firm. That's it. Firm and.....dense.

With OJ? It all boils down to two kinds. Concentrated and Unconcentrated. One is cooked down and water added, the other? Not.

I hate that manufacturers think they have to come up with these special names and make everything so damned confusing for the consumer. It makes me crazy.

And it's really a pain in the ass since I've now worked for 2 manufacturers in the same industry. I can't keep my phrases straight.

Seriously, I'm gonna end up being sued one of these days.

Do you think I could get off with an Insanity plea?

Posted by Tammi at 05:43 AM | Comments (9) | TrackBack

A Different Dream

I've mentioned a few times that I don't dream usually. For me it's most often conversations.

Well, last night was a trip and since it's a first for me I wanted to get it out before I forget anything.

It took place here in Paradise. I had a big, beautiful dining room table and it was set to the max. I was in the kitchen cooking like crazy, but heard all this conversation buzzing through out the house.

I remember I was smiling. I was sooo happy.

The next thing I remember is sitting at the table. It was like a camera was panning, showing every face that was there. Daddy, my Grandma, my Aunt - all gone. Then there were the faces of those I care so much for but don't get to see very often.

There were stories being shared, I soooo wish I could remember what was said - I just remember laughing. A lot.

And, this is the weird part for my dreams, they all left. They didn't disappear, I didn't just wake up. They each hugged me good bye, and walked out the door.

I woke up with tears.

But ohhhhh it was wonderful while it lasted.......

Posted by Tammi at 05:22 AM | Comments (6) | TrackBack

October 13, 2007

I Recognize that Man!!

Well, I'm pretty much a slug.

I just took a fresh loaf of Multi Grain Bread out of the oven, so I won't have to do any baking tomorrow.

Other than that today? Yeah, I'm still watching the History Channel.

But how cool is this? They keep bringing in these "experts" to add to the story.

This one guy comes on, and DAMN he looks familiar. They put his name up and HOLY CRAP!!

He's a friend of Mama Vi's and I've had the pleasure, many MANY years ago of having dinner with him and discussing medieval history. He didn't think I was a complete idiot.

I kinda liked that.

Holy Crap. And they're callin' him an expert.

Huh. Mama Vi sure does have an interesting group of friends......

Posted by Tammi at 08:29 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

Saturday Question

I'm not feelin' so well today. I did go back and sleep another hour this morning....much needed and not nearly enough.

But...I woke up to a show on the History Channel about The Great Engineering Feats of the Roman Empire. Hey. I love that shit.

And it got me to thinking about some really incredible man made things I've been lucky enough to see in my life.

There were the castles I visited in France. The Eiffel Tower - that was pretty cool, but all I could think of was the commission earned on all that steel. I saw the pyramids in Mexico and some gorgeous cathedrals in Costa Rica.

But I think the most incredible thing *I've* been lucky enough to see...man made, was the Mont St-Michel when I visited France.

We spent all day there, exploring, learning. Just amazing. I could have spent a weekend there. Easy. And I'd like to go back, when I have more time and am not in the middle of a whirlwind tour. The opportunity to see and learn more about that time in our history was just incredible.

amazing.jpg

So what about y'all? I know there are many more "sophisticated" travelers than I am - what is the most amazing MAN MADE thing you've ever seen? We'll hit the beauty of nature another time.......

Posted by Tammi at 02:38 PM | Comments (8) | TrackBack

What? When???

I woke up this morning to absolute darkness. Except for the tiny red light telling me the coffee was waiting for me.

I saunter out to the kitchen, now completely comfortable on the path through the house, pour my coffee and head to the sun porch.

There's a fresh new jar candle out on the little table out there, Autum Folage, that smells nothing like it name implies. It's spicy and fresh. I light it and settle into my comfy chair to savor my morning routine.

As I sip my coffee and take that first drag off my cigarette I start planning my day.

I've got a presentation early next week, and it'll only take an hour or two to button that down. There are a few reports that need to be run and submitted. Nothing terribly stressful, just schtuff.

I'm preparing for a line change and there's a lot of things I want to do for that...

As this is running through my mind, I came back inside, jump in the shower and get my day started.

Wait. Something doesn't seem right. I look at the calendar and it looks....familiar. The phrase is the same as the other day. As I tear the pages off I suddenly realize.

Crap. It's Saturday.

It's official. I'm completely integrated. I've lost track of days and time.

So you know what I did? Huh?

I went and put my jammies back on. It's Saturday damnit. I'm lounging for as long as I want to.

For the past few days I've thought it was Friday. Longing for the weekend. Then, when it's finally here? Yeah, I think it's still Friday.

I've GOT to get my head together..........

Posted by Tammi at 07:41 AM | Comments (11) | TrackBack

October 12, 2007

'Tis the season.....

Took it kind of easy today. In fact I treated myself to lunch and a movie down at Fritz's. Hmmmmmm fish sandwich and Wicker Man. GREAT combination.

Had some interesting "outta towners" stop by. They were a hoot, kinda weird. The lady would run her hands through my hair every time she walked by. It's mega curly today, and I guess she was rather "taken" with it. But even funnier was the bartender. She seriously cracks me up.

But the best thing of all is that they've started "dressin' up the place" for Halloween. I have to tell you folks, NO ONE decorates their place of business like Fritz does at Halloween.

Mega cool.

And it just made me smile. It's started to feel familiar to me. It's something I look forward to. It's just a bit different every year, and I find myself anxious to see just what the heck they'll come up with this time.

Right now it's still in the beginning stages. They'll have it all decked out by the big day. And it'll rock. Plain and simple.

Cool crisp weather finally, leaves starting to fall finally and spooky scary icky stuff every where.

I just love this time of year!!!!

Posted by Tammi at 06:54 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Be Nice To Yourself.....

Why would a grown woman, complete with common sense and a fair amount of intelligence, do this to herself?

I'm kind of ticked off at me right now.

For the past week or so I've been really putting myself through hell. And I can't figure out why.

You see, I have a very comfy bed. It's one of our better ones, and I love it.

I also do not have a couch. I have a loveseat and my Golden Throne. Oh, the back reclines and there is an ottoman, but no couch. I love a couch.....

Anyway......I've taken to sleeping in the living room again. Either curled up in the chair or squeezed into the loveseat.

Folks? I'm 6'2". I'm not some petite thing by any stretch of the imagination.

I wake up miserable. I stretch and work to get the kinks out, swearing that was the dumbest thing ever and that WON'T happen again.

The next night? Yep....same ole same ole.

WTF is up with that? I can understand when I was sleepin' on the couch all the time. I had a GREAT couch for sleeping. Better than my mattress. But now? Now, I've really worked to make the bedroom comfortable. I love that mattress.

I've got to figure this out. Because other wise next thing you know the money I'm plannin' on using to get a dining room table will be spent at the Chiropractor's.......and THAT will REALLY piss me off.....

Posted by Tammi at 08:32 AM | Comments (7) | TrackBack

I Need Your Help

Oh the list that title brings to mind, but this time is has to do with software and my job. It's all about the job. That's what's keepin' me sane right now!

My territory is from Central Illinois up to Central Wisconsin. Basically find Peoria on the map and draw a line across the state, then go up to Wisconsin and find Wausau and draw another line across the state. THAT, is my turf.

Now, it's no secret I am geographically challenged. Plus, that's a lot of open road, with little towns scattered everywhere, some not even on my atlas.

I'm looking for some kind of software (cheap) that I can type in the name of a town and see everything around it within a certain mile radius.

I know it's out there, and I've been trying to do it with Rand McNally but it's not giving me what I need.

In Florida I'd jump in the car and just drive. Here? It's not as simple.

Any ideas? I'm trying to put together a $1M deal, HUGE for this area, but I really need to have a better understanding of what's in each of the areas.

Posted by Tammi at 08:17 AM | Comments (8) | TrackBack

October 11, 2007

Disappearing Act

So I got home last night. Not really late, but dark.

I was up early this morning. WAY early. Went outside, walked a bit, nice......

About 15 minutes ago I took the trash to the curb. I'm standing there, smoking a cigarette and talking on the phone when I realized......something was different.

Something was different about my house.

My yard.

HEY!! Where's that big tree on the corner of the lot???? It was there Monday when I left.

It sits right in the front yard, almost in the very corner, by the road.

It's a big damned tree.

Or, at least it WAS a big damned tree.

It's gone.

Gone.

Huh........how the HELL did I miss that?!?!!

Posted by Tammi at 11:19 AM | Comments (10) | TrackBack

Funny Email

I already knew I was dumber than the fifth graders, now it's the preschoolers turn!!??

A PRE-SCHOOL TEST FOR YOU

Which way is the bus below traveling? To the left or to the right?

joke.jpg


Can't make up your mind?

Look carefully at the picture again.

Still don't know?

Pre-schoolers all over the United States were shown this picture asked the same question.

90% of the pre-schooler's gave this answer.

"The bus is traveling to the left."

When asked, "Why do you think the bus is traveling to the left?"

They answered.......

"Because you can't see the door to get on the bus."


How do you feel now ???


I know, me too.

arrggghhh.gif

Posted by Tammi at 08:49 AM | Comments (7) | TrackBack

Different Role

Home. Paradise. THE Valley.

I'm here........ahhhhh

Flights were delayed like crazy last night but somehow I managed to fly standby and got HOME before my ticketed flight was due to take off! SWEET. Not a good seat, not a comfortable flight - but it's only a 50 minute flight and I was home long before midnight.

It was all good......

Our Region made their sales goal! Yes they did. And that's wonderful.

Our Team did NOT make their goal. Not even 50% of that goal. But I will tell you we were NOT the worst performers. And I'll also tell you that THRILLED me to learn....

Me? I got a big goose-egg. Zero. Nada. Nunca.

That's a first for me. I got laughed at, hung up on, cussed out. I kinda feel like I've been through some kind of gauntlet.

But I talked to the guy that hired me on the way to the airport and he was amazed that I was upset. That I was actually worried that I'd take some serious shit over this.

He made sure that I knew that of all the territories East of the Mississippi mine is the ugliest. I thought he was just tryin' to make me feel better.....he wasn't it. It is.

He made sure I knew that THEY (those corp dudes) know how hard I'm working and that it's gonna be ugly for a long, LONG time.

We talked about what I'm doing, how I'm running this area. It's fine. And I'm doing the RIGHT thing, I just have to remember to keep folks in the loop. OH, and learn when NOT to talk. (that may be a pretty tough lesson!)

But he also told me, in regards to this sale, that I did help. I helped by keeping track of the numbers, by encouraging folks. By staying until the bitter end to see if we got 3 or 4 truckloads. I.......was the cheerleader.

Not a role I want to STAY in, but at this point, if I helped at all, I'm glad.

But next time we do this sort of thing? Yeah, I'm gonna need to see some numbers on the board.

And you can bet my customers already know that. I'm Amish and Italian. We KNOW how to play the guilt card!!!!!!

Posted by Tammi at 06:06 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Independence Day

This is a part of the series I am doing to try and help raise awareness of Domestic Abuse.

Other posts from this series can be found here:
Explaination
I'm Sorry
Don't Ignore It
Buddy's Hiding Place


Independence Day......

Mine was September 28, 1995.


"I'm not sayin' it's right or it's wrong......"


I'll be honest....doin' these few posts about my "other life" has kicked my ass. Big time. If you think they've been hard to read, try reliving all that crap.

But, I really believe it had to be done. Based off of some of the emails I've had it has served a least part of my purpose. It's made people think. It's made people realize it can happen to ANYONE.

It's raised awareness.

As I mentioned, my "Independence Day" was September 28, 1995. That was the day I left. My divorce wasn't until the following summer, but that's a whole 'nother story in itself.

I celebrate September 28th as Tammi Day. But it took years of thinking and planning to get to that point.

He quit drinking back in 93. That stopped the physical abuse. But the emotional beatings just got worse. You see, a mean drunk is a mean person. And many times when an alcoholic stops drinking the behavior doesn't change. They call it, at least *I* call it the Dry Drunk.

Once I was no longer terrified every day, my head started to clear. I got a good job, making more money than he did. I moved quickly up the ladder and started to gain a bit of confidence in my ability to support myself.

That is huge! Many people stay out of fear. Fear that they will be found and made to pay. Fear that they CAN'T make it on their own. Fear of having to come back.

Once I knew I could support myself I started to make a plan.

I wanted, no needed to know that the boys would be ok. One was married and a daddy. He was fine. Working a good job, with a wonderful wife. Strong, responsible - a good man. The other boy was also a daddy, but engaged to a fabulous girl with a family that loved him. He had a great job and real, focused plans for his future. The baby, Buddy? I needed to know he would be ok. He was still in school and I just felt it wasn't right yet.

But I planned. I told Mama Vi what I wanted to do. We started putting little things aside. When I had extra cash I bought dishes, and silver ware. Bed linens. I kept them all at her house.

The only thing I didn't do was put money in a safe, secret place. THAT one hurt a bit, but I recovered. Eventually.

Finally the day came. It wasn't the day I planned, it wasn't HOW I planned, but we had a fight and I just said "F*ck it! I'm outta here!"

And I left.

I took almost nothing. I didn't want anyone to say I took advantage of him. That was important to me. And yes - the song linked above was BLARING on the truck radio. And I was singin' at the top of my lungs. I still cannot watch that video or hear that song without feeling so damned proud of myself.

The boys couldn't understand why I stayed all those horrible years and left once things were "better". And I didn't know how to explain it. They still don't understand and have never forgiven me for that.

But you know what? My boys don't hit. My boys are good daddy's (yes, I know that for a fact). My boys have families and jobs and homes of their own.

Is knowing that worth everything I went through? I can't honestly say. But I do know it makes it easier. Easier to deal with 11 years of hell.

But I'll tell you this much. It AIN'T happening to this girl again.

Posted by Tammi at 05:10 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

October 10, 2007

Today's Musical Choice

For no other reason than I just need the motivation......


SmileyCentral.com


Posted by Tammi at 07:34 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

It's ONLY 2 Clicks!!

BlackFive, the man, does so much for so many. His blog has become a force of nature. Seriously, he has molded that small piece of the Internet into a tool for getting the story out, recognizing our warriors and their families and making a difference.

That, in my mind, makes him Good People.

Well, here's our chance to give a bit back. Matt is a full time student. And there is a scholarship available for bloggers that are full time students.

We, the blogosphere, vote for whom we think should get it.

Have you voted for Matt yet?

Doesn't look like it. I'm actually shocked to see that he's runnin' in the middle of the pack.

He spends so much time focused on others, this is a small thing that we can do for him.

So click HERE and vote. Vote for Matthew Burden.

Posted by Tammi at 07:19 AM | Comments (7) | TrackBack

Ask Me. Please.....

Just in case we didn't have ENOUGH fun yesterday.....we're doin' it again today.

I've called and spoken with all but 2 of my accounts. I have 3 calling me back today.

It doesn't look good.

My flight home is at 7:45 tonite. I have heard a rumor that there are seats available on the 3:45 flight. I do not see myself being able to scoot out of here at that time.

Looks like another case of Groundhog Day.

This really is a big deal, and I feel kind of bad that I'm not more "hyped" about it. But I've seldom seen these things work anymore. But oh we (this industry) keep tryin'.

Head meet brick wall.

If I could I would ask our upper management just one simple question. WTF were you thinking?

Yes, the Florida and Texas areas are blowin' it OUT with this thing. Everyone else? Really struggling.

And we are gettin' our collective asses chewed. I find myself almost begging for someone to ask me what I think. Cause I would love to explain this to them.

It's so clear. The Florida and Texas plants service area's that are in Snowbird Land. Snowbirds are going there right now and pulling their new nests together. Plus lots of folks in that area are preparing to be invaded during the holidays so spare rooms are getting spruced up.

Up where I'm at? It's fall. Harvesting. No one is shopping. Plus, GM just was on strike, Chrysler is looking at a strike. Homes are being foreclosed on, and the holidays are coming. Presents for your kids vs new mattress? Huh. Which do you think wins?

To me it's all clear as a bell. But those damned accounting type rulers don't see that. They don't look at demographics and market conditions. Hell, half the time I swear they don't read the news. It all fits together. It all paints a picture. Obviously their picture is a tad bit out of focus.

So we'll head to the plant this morning. Make some more calls. Get hung up on some more. Laughed at some more. Then take our beatings over the phone. Then I'll schlep to the airport and make my way back to my valley.

Tomorrow? I'll be at my desk tryin' to figure out a way to help my retailers. Puttin' out fires and negotiating deals.

But ohhhhh I so wish they'd ask me what *I* think......

Posted by Tammi at 06:46 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

October 09, 2007

A Little Help Here?!?!

Kill me now.

Please.

I'm sitting here, in Columbus Ohio, workin' the phones.

No...not like that. I'm calling everyone of my customers using that tired old line "Have I got a deal for you....."

Yeah. You can only imagine how that's goin' over.

I've been at this since 7:00 this morning. It's now 1:00. I've gotten 3 NO's and about 5 Call Me Backs.

I'm dyin' here. DYIN'!!!!

The good news is I'm not alone.

But ohhhhh what I wouldn't do for a friendly voice on the other end of the phone.........

Well either that or a dozen donuts..........

Posted by Tammi at 12:57 PM | Comments (9) | TrackBack

Incognito

The meetings at the plant this week are casual. So casual they even sent out a memo telling us they were casual.

With a theme.

We're supposed to wear shirts/jerseys/hats supporting our favorite NFL team.

I got that covered. It's tshirts, blue jeans and tennis shoes for this girl. WooHoo.

With that in mind, I decided I'd travel casual too. No...not like the time I flew to Atlanta wearing jammies - I learned my lesson that time. Just comfortable.

Normally, even if I'm traveling for pleasure, I'm buttoned down. Hair done, full make-up, business attire or nice slacks, heels. After all, you never know who you might run into.

Not so yesterday. I pulled on my favorite jeans, a white fitted tshirt and tennis shoes. While I did put on some make-up, my hair was just pulled back in a pony tail.

Wow. Comfort. Whoda thunk?!?

But that wasn't the only surprise I had. I can't believe how differently people responded to me. Seriously. If I stop to grab a bite to eat or even when checking my bag, people laugh, talk, interact with me. Yesterday? Nope. All I got were blank stares. Buying my yogurt and water for the plane? Got butted out of place in line a couple of times. It was just bizarre.

I suddenly realized as I was sitting in the corner of the terminal, I was incognito! Flyin' under the radar. It was really different.

And trust me, I'm not complaining - I just never realized how much we are judged by the way we present ourselves.

I'm just curious to see how the trip home goes tomorrow night, after 2 days of marathon meetings and little sleep. I better make sure I eat BEFORE I get to the airport.

Posted by Tammi at 06:28 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

Oh, I know....

Got to the hotel last night after one of those "team dinners" at a local wings/beer/sports places. So tired. So I figured I'd turn on Monday Night Football and listen as I tried to catch up on some sleep.

All I remember hearing is "Interception" or "Tony Roma is really struggling". **OOPS! I bet if I spelled his damned name right he might do a bit better for me. RomO. Duh!!!

One of the announcers just kept asking, over and over again "What is WRONG with Tony Romo?".

I swear if there had been a phone number I would have called in. 'Cause I got the answer to that one.

Ya wanna know why Romo had 5 interceptions and played like crap? Simple

I picked him up this week as the QB on my Salary Cap Fantasy Football Team.

Of COURSE he fell apart.

Posted by Tammi at 06:02 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

October 08, 2007

Leavin'! Bye!!!

Well, alrighty then.

It's Monday and despite how the first three posts from today look, I'm actually in a pretty damned good mood.

No real reason, just am.

I'm getting ready to head to the airport. Well, as soon as I finish packing that is. Gotta go to the plant for some meetings for a few days and am not 100% I'll have internet access. We'll just have to see.

The last month or so hasn't been the greatest. On any level. And while I know I'm doin' "alright", I haven't been functioning at that "Super Star" level that I was back in July. I'm willing to bet there'll be some questions concerning that.

It is what it is. And all I can do is promise to refocus and get back on that fast track.

Meanwhile, y'all behave yourselves. Make sure and take the time to laugh. Oh, and have a great week.

See ya later!!!

Posted by Tammi at 10:51 AM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

Oh HELL NO

OK - I'm not the expert on ANYTHING National Guard. I'm not in the loop any way, shape or form.

That being said - I am asking that you go over to AW's place and read THIS post, then watch THIS video.

Then make a call. Write a letter.

We cannot let this happen. Not on our watch. They deserve so much better than this.

And the leadership needs to know and understand they will NOT get away with this.

Then pass the word.....

Posted by Tammi at 06:00 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

Buddy's Hiding Place

This is a part of the series I am doing to try and help raise awareness of Domestic Abuse.

Other posts from this series can be found here:
Explaination
I'm Sorry
Don't Ignore It


I was 22 when I got married. I went from traveling around in a rock band, singin', partyin' my way around the midwest to suddenly being a Stay At Home Mom to three boys, 12, 10 and 7, and a nephew who was 3. Talk about a culture shock.

And I didn't know anything about Abuse. Didn't know what to look for, didn't even know there were people out there that treated other people like that. Especially people they said they loved.

Boy. Was I in for a lesson.

The two older boys weren't so happy about havin' a Step Mom. They were rather.....um, let's just say they resented the fact a bit. A whole lotta bits.

But the 7 and 3 year old just rolled with it. As is not that unusual with younger children.

The 7 year old - we'll call him Buddy - and I really bonded. He was, and still is from what I hear, one of the most naturally funny people I have ever known. He made us laugh more times than not. But that humor was mostly a shield to hide his oh so tender heart.

Over the years we developed a system. An early warning system you could say. It wasn't fool proof, but it worked for us.

Now, I need to say right here and now that my ex NEVER raised a hand to those children. Ever. Not even when they needed discipline. He was neglectful, disrespectful and mean - but he never physically hurt any of the boys. Not that makes it alright - I just want you to know that the boys were never PHYSICALLY afraid of him.....

But they saw. They saw the way he treated me. And it really bothered Buddy.

One night in the middle of a particularly violent time, I saw just how MUCH it bothered Buddy.

My ex wasn't supposed to drive during many years of our marriage. He lost his license for DUI. So in the morning I usually had to drive him to work and in the afternoon I'd usually have to pick him up. And take him to the bar. And wait for him. Sometimes for hours on end. This wasn't always, but enough.....

If the boys were at the house, I'd try to make sure there was something for them to eat for dinner or at least money to order a pizza. If I was lucky, we'd be home in time to take care of all that for them, but you couldn't count on that, so I tried to make sure we had a contingency plan.

Anyway - one night, Buddy was about 10, it was not good. Not good at all. There had been a horrible accident at the job site my ex was supervising and a man was in the hospital, badly burned. They weren't sure he was going to make it. The ex was drinkin' especially heavy that day to try and deal with that.

As we were finally making it home, at around 10:30 that night, I saw that Buddy was still awake in the living room watching TV. I always made sure I walked in the door first - that system we set up, remember?

I walked in the living room and gave him The Look. And tried to get him to go to his room by rolling my eyes. His daddy was about 6 steps behind me, wrestling with the storm door (which he ended up tearing off the frame in frustration).

Buddy heard that commotion, saw my eyes and ran. Now, due to Mr. Pissed Off and Drunk, I was a little busy tryin' to keep things sorta calm, and didn't see WHERE Buddy ran off too. Until Asshole finally passed out and I could make my way to the bathroom.

There I saw this sweet, beautiful, tough 10 year old boy, cowering in an empty bathtub, hiding beneath a blanket he had pulled from his bed.

As I pulled him from his hiding place and wrapped my arms around him, he just kept saying how sorry he was.

Huh. HE was sorry.

I got him calmed down and tucked into bed. We never talked about that night again. Hell, we never talked about ANY of those nights after the sun came up.

But that night is when the truth that is obvious to so many people, and more than obvious to me now, really hit home.

There doesn't have to be any bruises or broken bones for there to be damage. For there to be pain.

No....abuse seeps through-OUT a home, a family. No one is immune and NO one is truly safe....

Posted by Tammi at 05:01 AM | Comments (6) | TrackBack

I Shun You

OK. I don't do a lot of TV blogging. Sports? Yeah, TV? Not so much.

BUT......

Last Sunday I watched the CBS show, Cold Case. I've liked that show since it began. But last weeks show didn't really sit well with me. Sarah talks about it over at Tryin' to Grok.

However, realizing that Hollywood is Hollywood..I thought I'd give it another try. I don't expect them to promote my politics. I just wish they'd stop trying to promote their own.

So I watched this week.

Huh. It was about an Amish girl that gets murdered in Philadelphia while trying to "find herself". (There's a word for it. It's PA Dutch, and I don't know how to spell it. And I sure as hell ain't callin' Mama Vi for that info!)

About 5 minutes into it, I was sitting there trying to decide if it were funny or tragic.

About 7 minutes into I just got pissed.

Those idiots didn't do the least bit of research for this episode. They probably figured since the chances of some Amish man or woman seeing it were slim to none, they'd just not worry about things like accuracy. And respect.

They were about as far from an honest potrayal of that culture as you can get. It was no longer the least bit funny. It was insulting.

Then, from an email I got from Sarah I hear that they had done a previous episode a couple of years ago in which this was said. "You were in the National Guard and did drugs? Heck, you could be president."

Yeah, I must have been traveling that week, cause I'd have lost my temper on that one too.

Well, now I'm done. No more. They crossed the line. Period.

I'm sharing my thoughts about it with y'all, I've sent them an email, and now I stop watching.

It's one thing when we laugh at ourselves amongst ourselves. It's another thing all together when they trash my heritage because of ignorance and disrespect.

Three strikes you're out. Bye Bye.

Posted by Tammi at 04:22 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

October 07, 2007

Just so you know.....

I have changed my cornbread recipe.

Normally my cornbread is made with bacon grease, buttermilk and sugar.

Yummy but a heart attack waitin' to happen.

Now, it's pam sprayed pan, reg. milk and sugar.

Ok but nothin' to write home about.

But today I pushed it too far. I crossed the line.

I didn't put the sugar in.

I'm sooo sad. It's....it's......it's just corn bread. Nothin' EXTRA. Bland.

Just so you know. Diet cornbread SUCKS WET SOCKS!!!

Posted by Tammi at 01:35 PM | Comments (9) | TrackBack

Motivated by Guilt

I was talkin' with AW this morning and, well, she made me feel a little guilty. This week I didn't work out nearly as much as I have been.

Now, I will be honest enough with you to admit that I was probably obsessing a bit on that. Before this past week every free second I had, even when I was on the phone, I'd jump on that little stair machine. IT ROCKS folks. While it's not one of those big fancy machines, it more than does the job. As long as I can keep my balance (watch the smart ass remarks!) it is very effective.

So, I'd be on that SEVERAL times a day, and the minimum I would allow myself was equal to 4 flights of stairs. They say 15 steps is a flight, and I consider a flight up AND down, so that would be 30 complete steps. Times 4. A bunch of times during the day.

And let's not forget the gym I've got in the basement. Oh, yeah, that was used 5 times a week steady.

Like I said - I was sort of obsessing about it. But I was seeing a difference. And that just motivated me even more. I mean come on now......surely more is better, faster.

But I lost the focus a bit last week. Missed complete days. AW asked if I worked out any yesterday, and knowing that she had walked 2 hours in the heat and humidity she is dealing with I was ashamed of myself. I had no excuse.

So when we got off the phone I jumped on my little stepy thingy. Put on some hard driving music and away I went. And went. And went. Holy Crap. I really need to learn moderation.

But I feel better. And yes, I'll probably jump on later this afternoon when I get antsy watchin' football.

Cause it makes me feel better.

And I'm seein' a difference.

And I don't want to admit I've been lazy............

Posted by Tammi at 09:34 AM | Comments (6) | TrackBack

And the winner is......

OK, that's a bit misleading, since it wasn't really a contest. Here's what's being served in Tammi's World today.

Chili. Doesn't that sound good? (thanks for the suggestion Pete!)

I haven't made Chili since I moved back up here. Isn't that kind of backwards? In Florida I'd make it every time the damned temps dropped below 75. Here? Where the snow blows and the wind chill can be horrid? Yeah, I don't even think of it.

But today I'm makin' a big ole pot of that delicacy. Now, most folks wouldn't think of it as REAL chili. I can't go spicy. At all. I love it flavorful but I can't eat spicy. Hell, I suffer when I make the spicy manicotti, for cryin' out loud. There are days that WATER gives me heartburn. Yeah, no spicy for me.

But within the hour Paradise will be filled with the comforting scent of spices and and cornbread (you canNOT have chili without cornbread. I think it's against the law!) Football starts at noon and I think that should make it a pretty damned good Sunday.

UPDATE: Is my face RED! I didn't even mention that Stacy Lee suggested the Chili too! Sorry Stacy. I was so impressed with your list cookin' list for today, I completely missed that!!!

Posted by Tammi at 09:01 AM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

Jack's Back!

Did ya know Jack Army is back home? Did ya?!?!

Excellent news. MOST excellent.

Posted by Tammi at 07:13 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

October 06, 2007

It's A SPECIAL Day!!

Today is my friend, Raging Mom's, 20th anniversary of her 29th birthday!

WooHoo!! I LOVE the birthdays! (especially when they're somebody else's)

SmileyCentral.com


SmileyCentral.com


SmileyCentral.com

Posted by Tammi at 12:54 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Feed Me!!

I haven't done squat around the house this week. It's just wrong. REALLY wrong.

So today I'm grounded. No playin', no movies, NO FRITZ'S til I get my work done.

One really big chore is I need to go to the grocery store. I'm out of just about everything.

Including ideas. What fun meals can I make in the next couple of weeks?

Now I do eat rather healthy. Oh - I love my gravy and fried stuff, but not on a daily basis.

I always get a bunch of those Dannon Lite and Fit 60 cal yogurts. I need something sweet after dinner and those help. I realized a couple of weeks ago that I just don't enjoy making desserts for just me. With no one around to tell me they enjoy it, the whole thing is kinda like masterba...you know. While alright there's just SOMETHING missing.

(Did I just type that out loud?!?! Oops!)

I always get cereal. Something some what healthy but still "fun". I'm a cereal kinda gal, it keeps me feelin' like a kid!

I'm big on veggies. Many times that'll be my whole meal. And stir fry. I do a stir fry with a marinated chicken breast, done on the Foreman, just down and dirty. I don't like fancy stir fry, especially sweet and sour. Two tastes in one is kinda confusing for my taste buds. Sweet? Sour? Sweet? Sour? Oh, hell, just keep it simple, for cryin' out loud.

But....I also want to try some new things. Tomorrow is Sunday and I like to do a big pot of something I can munch on all day, and have just in case anyone stops by. Plus, it gives me something for during the week, when I don't have time to cook a big meal. But I don't know what I want for tomorrow.

I don't buy chips or cookies or stuff like that if I'm not planning on company. If they're here, I'll eat 'em (the snacks, not the company) and that's not good. But, I do keep those Special K snack bars around. 90 cals and not bad tasting at all.

So....do you have any ideas for me? What are some of your "staples"? I really do need to "shake things up" a bit.....

Posted by Tammi at 08:59 AM | Comments (10) | TrackBack

Laugh, Damn it, Laugh!!!

Whew. I don't know about you, but this hasn't been the easiest of weeks in Tammi's World. So....I'm gonna need a little laughin' and smilin' today.....

And since I'm sitting here, alone, in Paradise let's look around the Blogosphere and see what we've got out there that will make those things happen. There's got to be a couple of things I can share with you!


Phin has always made me laugh. This little list of things that make him go Hmmm had me crackin' up!!! Oh - and I agree on that last one. The grandkids did it out of embarrassment!

Crystal over at Boobs, Injuries & Dr. Pepper is just not right. And I mean that in a good way. Someone needs to hire that woman to write a sit com. And it's tough to just highlight one particular post that made me LOL, but this post about her dog getting out had me almost in tears. She just has a way with telling a story.

Ok, that'll get you started.....Cause you know, I'm a firm believer that a laugh a day keeps the straight jackets away!

Posted by Tammi at 08:37 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

Saturday Question

Why do I have to be so mean? Seriously. I am so mean to myself.

It's time to start preppin' for Halloween. I bought a GREAT candy container! It's just about perfect.

So last night I bought candy.

Yes, already.

I bought mixed things of chocolate bars, bubble gum and twizzlers. All things I love.

It's sitting about 4 feet from my desk.

Calling my name.

I.

Am an idiot.

But....it did lead me to a good Saturday morning question.

What is your favorite Halloween candy/treat? (keep it clean folks!)

I love carmel. So for me....it's anything with carmel.

But what about you? What was your favorite Halloween treat as a kid? What about now? (Again, PG folks!)

Oh - and cause I love it so much, here's a picture of my new candy holder thingy.

aint it cute.jpg
Ain't it Cute????

enough.jpg
Gee, do you think I've got enough candy??


Posted by Tammi at 07:27 AM | Comments (9) | TrackBack

October 05, 2007

Today's Funny Frase

How about NEVER? Is NEVER good for you?

Oh....what I wouldn't do to just answer EVERYONE with that today, for each and ever "Tammi, can ya.." that would be the PERFECT answer!!

But the Good News?

It's Friday!! Really. It is. I checked the calendar!

SmileyCentral.com

Posted by Tammi at 06:25 AM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

Don't Ignore It

This is a part of the series I am trying to do to help raise awareness of Domestic Abuse.

Other posts from this series can be found here:
Explaination
I'm Sorry

It was the night before Christmas Eve, 1987. Rainy. Sleety. Cold. Typical mid-west weather for that time of year.

And I remember...it was dark. The sky so over cast there was no light - no moon, stars. Nothing.

It started out a typical evening. I had been allowed to get a job and luckily it had those new fangdangled "flex hours". That meant I could go in at 7:00 and be home by 3:30. Left plenty of time for laundry, house work and cooking. Cause you know, working full time cannot be an excuse for getting out of "your chores".

Anyway....I had gotten home at 4:00 having stopped at the grocery on the way home. Dinner (and yes, I remember it THAT clearly) was simple fare. Roast beef, mashed potatoes, and corn. No dessert. There just wasn't enough money for that right now.

So everyone got home and dinner was on the table at exactly 6:00. It was especially quiet that evening. We could tell that "He" wasn't in a good mood and none of us wanted to risk being on the other end of his displeasure.

The boys gobbled down their meal and took off to go see their mother. I started to clear the table. He headed to the living room.

All of a sudden he stopped. There was a new photo out on the buffet table. It was a picture I had been given of Mama Vi and I had finally gotten it framed.

He picked it up and looked at it. I stood....frozen in the kitchen doorway.

"What the F*CK is this? Who told you you could put this in my house?"

"It's my mama. It was the first picture ever taken of her, and I really didn't think you'd mind. I'm sorry. I'll just take it to work with me."

As he throws it against the dining room wall...."Shut up. And don't try and pull that again."

I walked over to the broken frame and started to pick up the glass. I didn't realize right away that I was crying. Not til he yelled at me.

As he shook me and pushed me around the dining room, breaking more things, calling me and my family horrible names....I snapped. I just didn't give a damn one way or another.

I fought back.

I brought my knee up and even though scared to death I made contact with that oh-so-vulnerable area. I was shaking so badly I didn't do any damage, well except piss him off even more.

It was the most violent reaction I had ever seen from him. The fighting back was no longer half-assed. He was going to kill me. I knew it. Like I know my name is Tammi.

I was finally able - thanks to him being drunk - to get away. I ran out the back door - with him chasing me. I ran around the front of the house and down the side street that we lived on.

Now, we lived in town. It was still early in the evening. It was a cold blustery night and I was running down the middle of the street, no coat, barefooted and screaming my fool head off.

No one helped.

No one.

No one opened their door.

No one called the police.

No one helped me.

Now....I'll be honest with you. I wouldn't have offered me shelter in that instance. I wouldn't even recommend that someone step out side and try and interfere (although I will tell you I have done both since that time and will probably do it again) That is a VERY dangerous situation and you should NOT put yourself or your family in danger.

But you can pick up a phone. You can call the police. Even if all it accomplishes is stopping THAT instance, it's something. It may save a life.

That's the least you can do.

It's the VERY least you can do.

Just think about it......

Posted by Tammi at 05:59 AM | Comments (11) | TrackBack

Patience is a Virtue

And as Raging Mom points out so beautifully, one this country has left by the way side.....

Posted by Tammi at 05:44 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

October 04, 2007

Recovering Snob

I.

Am a snob.

Yes, yes I am. Or at least I *USED* to be.

You see, growing up, we were what they call "upper middle class". Didn't start out that way. Hell Mama and Daddy's first home was a one room playhouse on my Grandparents property. But they worked hard...and eventually we had the "big" house, on a bit of land, filled with beautiful things.

When we moved in there I remember going shopping with Mama. Only the BEST furniture. Hell, we had all the state of the art appliances. That home was a showcase, plain and simple.

So you can only imagine my culture shock when I got married and discovered how difficult it was to have nice things. We were poor. We defined "dirt poor".

And when I got divorced I swore I would never EVER live like that again. Never again would I be ashamed of where I lived, what I did or didn't have.

So...I worked hard. It took a while, but over the years I furnished my home beautifully - if I must say so myself. I had a very nice home, and loved nothing more than having people over.

Well, due to circumstances I'm starting over again. Pretty much from scratch. Luckily, I can. Oh, it won't be an over night thing, but I can do it.

But I've discovered something. I'm not so insistent on having what other people say is "the best". I'm not so snobbish about what I buy where.

Time was you'd never see any furniture or clothing from someplace like Wal-Mart in MY home. Oh, hell no. Groceries? No problem. Anything else? No way, no how.

And I've recently discovered a new favorite store. Big Lots. Yes...I said Big Lots.

It's a great place to buy office supplies. $1.50 for office paper? $1.00 for envelopes? Hell YEAH! That's got my name all over it!!! And that's only SOME of the bargins I've found....

Not to mention many of the "discount" furniture places, the ones that used to be only for "those" people, make their own furniture. And it's decent furniture. Believe me - I know the difference. It's just less expensive as their overhead is lower.

So I'm proud of being able to say I'm a Recovering Snob. Oh, I still look, drooling, at some of those fancy places. But then I think about all that money being spent on something that can be gone in a heartbeat, and realize. I'd rather spend it on something, or better yet someONE else.

It's been a ugly lesson to learn, but learn it I have. It's not WHAT you have or WHERE you got it. It's who YOU are that matters.

just wish it hadn't taken this long for that one to sink in

Posted by Tammi at 07:17 AM | Comments (11) | TrackBack

Just So You Know...

I want to make sure you know that even though the month of October is Domestic Violence Awareness month, and it is a topic that I feel VERY strongly about, I will NOT be posting about it every day.

Couple times a week? Yeah. Yeah I will. Stories from my life, stories others have shared and videos.

But I can't do it every day. No way no how.

If you think it's hard to read, you would never imagine how difficult it is to write. So I won't do that to either of us.

And I wanted you to know that - so you don't stay away for the month. That would make me sad......

Posted by Tammi at 05:15 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

Vegetarianism.....

....as explained by Og.

It makes PERFECT sense.

Posted by Tammi at 04:59 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

Duh. I missed that part....

So I'm really excited that it's starting to feel like Fall....finally.

I love this season. The colors, the leaves, the crisp cool air.

I've been on the verge of Giddy for a month already.

Til the other morning. I was bragging about how much I love this house, I love this yard. Hell -- there are 9 trees in this beautiful little corner lot.

................

9 trees.

...............

9 trees that will all lose their leaves.

And need to be raked.

Huh.

I hadn't thought of that......

Posted by Tammi at 04:53 AM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

October 03, 2007

I'm Sorry

Anyone that knows me personally knows that I use that phrase, "I'm Sorry", more than just about anything.

I'm just about the sorriest person I know.

But I'm so much better than I used to be. In fact, it's SO much better I really thought I had gotten past that.

I haven't. I left an abusive situation 12 years ago, and STILL apologize for EVERYTHING.

But I'll tell you a little secret. When I say that? I really am.

It's not that I'm so egotistical that I think I have the power to control events in others lives. No - when I tell you I'm sorry you're not sleeping well, I mean that I wish it were other wise. I feel bad for you. When I say I'm sorry you're sick what I mean to say is "Feel Better Soon".

I just say it wrong. Out of habit. Because you see, for 11 years everything that went wrong WAS my fault.

We didn't have money for rent, or utilities or food? It was my fault. Didn't matter that a certain someone paid the bar tab and then bought the house several rounds. Or that they spent 12 hours playing darts or pool for money. Or that I wasn't allowed to work hence couldn't contribute to the household finances. Nope. It was all my fault. And I had the broken ribs to prove it.

Storms come through and knock out the power? Yep, you guessed it. All my fault. I should have had a contingency plan. I should have been able to save 2 freezers full of meat, keep the kids calm and make sure the cows didn't get out. Easy. It was my responsibility and I didn't carry through.

And the examples go on and on. After a while you just assume the responsibility. You know it's your fault. You begin to try and actually control those events knowing that if you don't you'll pay.

So I was sorry a lot. More than I can ever say.

I would tell myself I was sorry for being so stupid that I got into that situation. I was sorry I was too scared to get OUT of that situation. I was sorry that my kids were afraid. I was sorry Mama Vi had to hear the beatings every night. I was sorry that my boss saw me fly through the air over a bar when he stopped in to see why my car was parked there every evening.

I was so very sorry.

My view of myself is probably the sorriest thing of all. I cannot tell you how many times I heard "You can't do anything because you can't do anything right". After a while, you really truly start to believe that. And that.....that is when you start to lose hope.

So if you know someone in an abusive relationship, or someone that HAS been in an abusive relationship, make sure you tell them the GOOD things they do. Encourage them. Don't allow them to make themselves the villain.

It's a small thing, praise. But ohhhh it can make all the difference in the world.

Posted by Tammi at 08:49 AM | Comments (11) | TrackBack

Stop the Cycle

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month and I've been trying to figure out just exactly what I want to say and how for a while now. It's a huge topic and one that, for me, is very complicated.

I've run a dozen different ideas through my mind and I think what I'll do is just try and help make people AWARE of the issue. Give some insight, put a face as it were to the problem. And I'll do that through out the month.

Domestic Violence.....violence in the home. When most people hear that they think of women being beaten or killed. And that is a part of it. According to some statistics, approximately 4000 women are beaten to death annually by a family member. 4000.

But it goes beyond that. I've seen, over the past decade, more and more men who are victims. Violence is not just a "masculine" trait. But society, while still so critical of women that stay, has little if ANY understanding that men are often trapped in that same cycle. With even less help available.

And the babies. We can't forget the babies. Even if the violence itself is centered at the adult, the babies see. And hear. And learn. They learn that it's ok to hit. They learn that it's ok to BE hit.

But it's not JUST physical. It's emotional. It's psychological.

It's VERY complicated.

It's a horrible horrible cycle - and one that shows no sign of slowing.

Now, I'm not qualified to tell you what to do. As victims or observers. But....I will, over the next few weeks, show you a peak behind the curtain. Try and help you understand WHY it's so hard to leave and what we, those that see or hear what's going on, CAN do.

This PSA made me physically sick. For several reasons.........

Posted by Tammi at 07:24 AM | Comments (6) | TrackBack

I *AM* Italian

You scored as Mafia Boss, Welcome to the seedy underworld of organized crime. You're brutal, loyal, and need to be a wiseguy instead of whatever you're doing now!!

Mafia Boss

73%

Cowboy Outlaw

63%

Pirate Captain

63%

Drug Lord

58%

Ninja Assassin

50%

Pretty Princess

40%

An Old Prospector

25%

Break-dancing Machine

18%

What should you be doing for a living?!
created with QuizFarm.com

It's all Contagion's fault.....

Posted by Tammi at 06:44 AM | Comments (8) | TrackBack

Wasted Time. Wasted Effort.

The idiots that ran THIS study obviously never met Mama Vi, my Grandma or even my Great Grandma.

You just don't find better examples of "...one of those responsible types who's clean and neat and always gets the job done..." then those three women I mention above.

I've seen a lot of ridiculous, idiotic studies in my day, but this may just take the cake.

Posted by Tammi at 06:33 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

October 02, 2007

Just a Glimpse

a little back ground. This customer has not returned a call in over a month. So......credit put me on the case. I have called and called can't even get a voicemail. Then I realized my cell phone shows my company name in the caller id. So this morning I called from the house phone.

Actual Phone Conversation:

Tammi: Ohhh! Is this xyz Company?

Customer: Yes. How I help you?

Tammi: I've been calling and calling! I was worried something happened to y'all! I'm Tammi and I work for Matt Co.

Customer:.................oh

Tammi: I just wanted to thank you for your business this year and see if you could help me with a problem.

Customer:..................ok

Tammi: We got the check you sent in last month but I think the bank was confused. They returned it to us.

Customer:........................

Tammi: So....this is what I'm gonna need for you to do. Send a cashier's check this week. For $xxx. This week. Ok?

Customer: But I sent check.

Tammi: I know, but you need to make sure the bank understands that you MEANT to send that check. They wouldn't pay it. And you know how those accounting people are. They want their money.

Customer: But I sent check.

Tammi: OK. I know, but now you're gonna need to send a cashier's check. And then....are you listening? Call me. Tell me that you mailed it, give me the number and I'll make sure those folks in accounting leave you alone. If you don't do that this week I can't help you. Understand?

Customer: But I sent check.

Tammi:

Customer: ok. I fix. Then I call. You nice lady. Please call again.

Seriously, I don't think he wants me to call again.......

You know, I never saw this part spelled out in the job description.

It's gonna be a long ass day.................

Posted by Tammi at 01:26 PM | Comments (8) | TrackBack

No. I won't.

Warning......rant in extended entry........

No, it will not behoove you to pat me on the head and tell me not to worry. No, I will not shut up and go away. I'm here. And I'm here for a reason.

I haven't gotten to be where I am today by being stupid. I may be ditzy at times, but I've done a lot of things. And one gift I *DO* have is finding ways to use what I've learned over the years in ways to benefit what I'm doing now.

For instance, way back in another life, I was the lead internal quality auditor for a steel coating facility. I coordinated all of the writing of procedures and policies. I assigned the responsibilities of who wrote what, and compiled all the documents. Then, it was part of my job to make sure we were following those procedures regularly. That has followed me everywhere. I'm a stickler on saying what we'll do and doin' what we say.

If something is wrong, fix it. Don't excuse it, ignore it or lash out at those who point it out. That is just counter productive and will eventually come back and bite you in the ass.....

I've been a secretary, analyst, manager, rep, clerk. I've loaded trucks, unloaded trucks, taken inventory and designed sets. In several different industries.

So DON'T, if you value you hide, condescend to me on any level. I will NOT SHUT UP. I will NOT turn my head in denial.

And the more you do that, the more you treat ANYONE in that manner the more my gander gets raised.

I'm not going anywhere. You might as well face that fact here and now. It's MY ass on the line every day. It's MY paycheck that takes a hit when you screw up. It's MY reputation that takes a beating every time you fall down on the job.

So yeah......get used to it. I'm here. I'm a force to be reckoned with. And I'm not by any means a shrinking violet.

And just so you know.....I WILL worry my "pretty little head" over what ever the hell I want too.

Posted by Tammi at 07:59 AM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

Laughing Wolf Embed

Laughing Wolf tells us about a Night Raid he was on with Easy Company.

And here he mentions that he met Scott Beauchamp. BlackFive has some pretty rough commenters, and they were kinda "difficult" in the comments to this particular post.

Maybe it's because I've known LW for almost 4 years. Maybe it's because he is one of my closest friends, I know his writing and (in a limited way) the way his mind works. I *KNEW* when I read the post on Beauchamp that there will be more. Later. Itís like a scavenger hunt my Mama put together once. We picked up all the parts and pieces and only later, when we were all back together, did we put everything out and see how it fit together.

Over at his place, he's got a couple post up about the gear he is using as well as some quick observations about the Iraqi Architecture.

That's the latest that has been posted. And as I've promised all along, I will make sure you know about it. :-)

Centuries ago, every tribe, community, clan had ďstory tellersĒ. The Keepers of History. The educators. Making sure that people knew and REMEMBERED what happened. That is what Laughing Wolf is. And LW has an advantage, between his words, AND gift of photography, we will be fortunate enough to see and HOPEFULLY understand a portion of what our Troops are doing in this War on Terror. We will meet those hero's that are fighting the fight FOR us. We will be offered the opportunity to understand a bit about these Iraqi people and WHY it is so important to stay the course.

THAT is one of the main reasons Iím making sure you know whatís posted. I donít want you to miss a thing. Because soon, soon heíll gather us together, as they did all those centuries ago, and he will tell us. He will show us. And I know I, for one, NEED to understand. But in the mean time, it's important to gather up all those pieces, and tuck them all in the back of your mind. Trust me........it will all fit together perfectly.

Keep it up LW!! Damn, I'm just so proud........

Posted by Tammi at 07:22 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

Somewhere Out There

I settled down for dinner last night right around 5:30. As I turned on the TV I saw where Fievel Goes West was on.

I cannot tell you how just reading the NAME of the movie brought back memories.

Long ago, in another life, my sweet granddaughter Alissa LOVED that movie. And I don't think LOVED even comes close to covering it.

We spent hours and hours watching it. It seems to me that movie just stayed on loop at our house.

We both knew most of the dialog, and even more so the music.

There's a song that was featured in both of the Fievel movies that Alissa just adored. She made me sing that song to her before every nap, every evening tuck in. When she was scared or tired. She would curl up in my arms, rest her sweet little head against my shoulder and simply say, "Fievel Gammaw". And I would sing.

You know even all these years later, it still brings a tear to my eye. Silly as that sounds. I wonder if she remembers.......

Posted by Tammi at 06:11 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

October 01, 2007

The Media Strikes Again

Ok - we just got a memo. It's about a video that was broadcast in the Chicago area last week. It is causing a REAL stir in my industry. THIS is yet another battle that will need to be fought, because the media is not reporting the WHOLE truth.....

Here's the video.

Now - I started to just "go off" in response to this report but it's too dangerous of me to do that. So - I'll just offer up MY THOUGHTS - not my company's, not the industry's MINE and MINE alone.

1) The Government MADE the bedding industry go FR (fire retardant). It actually started in California at least 4 years ago. Extensive testing had to be completed before ANYTHING went to market. One, to make sure it really was FR and Two, to make sure it was SAFE!

2) The bedding industry, overall, would NOT put something in your mattress that would poison you. Come on. Think about it. There are engineers a plenty and watch dog groups watching every step of the process.

3) Of COURSE no company is going to tell you what they use to make the beds FR. Are you NUTS?!?!?! I keep telling you it's a HIGHLY COMPETITIVE BUSINESS. You want to make the best mattress and a good price. You don't give away your secrets. The reporter making a big deal about two of the major players NOT tellin' is just childish. And irresponsible. (and believe me, there is no love lost between me and those companies. But that pissed me off BIG TIME!)

So listen folks. If you're looking for a new mattress, just remember to shop REAL stores that sell REAL beds. Beds made by companies. THAT is the safe bet. I'd tell you to go with a brand you have heard of, but then you might not buy mine and you'd be missing out. :-)

Ask questions. Be diligent. But don't be paranoid. And for heaven's sake - don't believe everything the media tries to tell you.

Now you'll have to excuse me. I've got to go and figure out how to stop the bleeding from all this. It was aired, as it happens, all OVER my territory......

Posted by Tammi at 09:57 AM | Comments (8) | TrackBack

Take it Higher!!!

Thank's to Sean at Doc in the Box, I'll never be able to listen to the song Electric Avenue the same way again.

Check it out. A video from The Front that will actually make you smile!

Posted by Tammi at 09:13 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

Good Medicine

What a good weekend. I needed that more than I can tell you. Just a bit of letting my hair down and laughing with friends. Perfect!

And I really did just relax. I can't tell you how SELDOM that happens. I am almost always "on alert". When I do a dinner and have folks over, oh - that is something I enjoy more than I can say, but I'm always watchin'. Do you need more to drink? Is there enough food? Are you enjoying yourself?

Yeah, I love hostessing, but I don't really exhale.

When I go out? I'm kind of a freak about knowing someone has my back. I've been burnt more times than I can tell you, so I don't really cut loose. I'm going out on a limb and say Saturday night I was more myself than I have been in YEARS.

I laughed, I joked, I did the happy dance. I had a few zingers (usually I leave them unsaid as I don't want to take the chance of hurting someone). I was with a group of people that I *knew* liked ME. Tammi. So I just had fun.

And I didn't realize how much of that I had been holding in these past few years. Oh, I know I'm aggravating as hell. I'm loud. I'm bossy. I know all that. And I guess I need to admit that I didn't really believe that people would accept me even with all my faults. Silly, I know. But the truth none the less.

I also realized that I've been holding that out of my writing here. I don't post from the hip as much. And I'm not gonna say that will change. I'm still a little nervous about how I'm perceived.

But it was nice to just BE. It felt good to make people laugh. If felt WONDERFUL to laugh back.

Yeah, it was a good weekend. Just exactly what I needed.

Posted by Tammi at 08:18 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

Surprise!!

Hooked Again!!


I check every day. :-) It's soooo good to hear from him!

Posted by Tammi at 08:05 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack