Tammi's World

My Impression

I don't think I'll be invited back to NYC anytime soon.

Seriously.

Oh, everything started out just fine. Got to the hotel, hunkered down and ordered room service. Mistake number 1. The waiter was so enthralled with the football game he forgot to open my soda. Usually not an issue, except kinda hard to travel with bottle openers on the plane anymore. So I had to call and have them come back and open it for me. Yeah - Miss Low Maintenance my ass.

Then this morning. I woke early. Sweet. I could just chill as my rep wasn't supposed to pick me up until 9:15. A luxurious start to my morning. Can I tell you he was an hour and 15 minutes early? Yeah, ouch.

Got to the call, and well, let's just say he'll be taking my advice from now on. I did what he wanted, set things up according to what he requested. Now, I need to go home and finish what I originally started to do and get it all expressed out. Not something that makes me terribly happy. I have another trip to plan for - don't really have time to do all that extra stuff.

I was amazed at how casual the dress was, even given the fact that it's Halloween. I was NOT gonna show up in anything other than a suit. Period. Hell - NYC, Broadway, Major Retailer. Yeah, I'm wearin' a suit. Other vendors were sitting in the lobby in blue jeans. Flannels. Tennis shoes. I was floored. It just seemed so disrespectful. Hell, I was upset because I chipped my nail polish this morning - at least I pressed my suit. Holy Crap.

Then we head out of the city into Queens. Yes, I was actually in Queens. To be honest that was crackin' me up more than the fact that I was right by Times Square last night. Don't know why, but I just thought that was great.

Meet with a discount distributor. The man knows how to make money, and he's a tough cookie. Luckily, he liked me. Even after I accidently stepped "in it". Yeah, during our conversation me, miss Y'all, let's out with a "cuts like buttah" reference. The room got very very quiet. I could have died. Thank GOODNESS he just laughed and told me how funny I am. Yeah, funny girl, that's me. NOT.

Dinner was nice. And now I'm getting ready to settle in, check a few blogs and sleep. Another early morning with a distributor in Long Island then some store visits and a flight back home.

I will tell you, to properly experience this place you really shouldn't travel alone. Strangers don't really care if you think something is beyond cool or not - I'm just sayin'......

Enjoy Your Day!

Well I made it in safe and sound last night. Thanks to some good advice I had no problems at all, even though I did have "NEWBY OUTTA TOWNER" written all over me. Damn - I feel like such a hick!

Anyway - for a brief moment I thought about getting up early and going down to one of the news shows and standing outside the window with a stupid sign, but then my laziness over ruled my desire to make folks laugh, so here I sit in my room finishing my coffee and getting ready for what looks to be a very long day.

My internet connection is not all that good so i can't even post a cute halloween picture. So - I'll just wish you all a fun filled but safe day and hope to read some great posts once I get settled tonite.

I'm spending Halloween in New York City. Damn, I wish I had time to really experience this!

Army Won Me Over

You read that right. I'm on the Army team this year.

What? You don't know what I'm talking about? Well come here and I'll give you the details.

Valour IT is having it's annual fundraiser. It's Army vs Navy vs Air Force vs Marines. The coolest part is EVERYBODY wins.

Raising money for computers for our wounded military is something we should all get behind. It's tax deductable and well - the right thing to do. And don't worry if you can't cut a huge check. Every bit helps. EVERY BIT HELPS.

Plus, we can have a little bloggy fun while doin' a good thing.

Like I said, I'm on the Army Team - lead by Blackfive and Uncle Jimbo
The Marine Team is lead by Holly Aho
Air Force is head up by Mrs. Greyhawk
And Navy is still open

Here's the low down on what, why, when and how:

WHAT: Friendly fundraising competition for Valour-IT.

WHEN: October 30th through Veterans Day, November 10th .

WHERE: Based in the blogosphere, spreading everywhere else.

WHY: Because giving wounded warriors with hand and arm injuries access to a computer supports their healing and puts them back in touch with the world.

HOW: Blogger teams will be divided along military branches, with civilians "up for grabs."

The Marines are off to a running start with $50,000 already, the Navy a close second with $24,200. Come on folks! We gotta show them who's Army Strong!!!! Get to clickin'. It's the right thing to do.

**CORRECTION: Ok - either I was waaaaayyyyy short on caffine when I posted this so early or there was a glitch - The Marines are showing a total of $570.00 not, $50,000 and Navy is comin' in at $1,372.00. Army is a close second with $1141.00 so we've all got a long way to go. Now excuse me, I'm gonna go get more coffee so I make sure I get on the right plane in a few minutes.......

And She's Off

Some would say in more ways than one, but this time I'm talking of another trip.

Today I'm heading for The Big Apple. New York City. I'm actually kind of nervous. Silly, I know. But it just seems that business folk from NYC seem more, well, business like. I'm looking at some pretty tough meetings, especially given what happened the end of last week. Oh well, it's like I told Michele - my job is to go in close the deal or clean up the mess. Sometimes being charming is not all that much fun. Let me just put that out there.

Anyway - A night and a day in NYC and then I'm off to Long Island. Damn - hope I have time for a glass or two of tea while I'm there (wink wink). I sure could use some right now.

OK - with today being a day of travel do me a favor - hope on over to Spouse Buzz and read some of the live blogging from the weekend. Be sure and read the comments. These ladies kicked butt this weekend. The comments give me goosebumps. They are incredible women making a hell of an impact regarding something very important. They deserve not just our respect, but our support.

On a side note I did get a special treat. While talking with AW at the end of her trip she said there was someone who wanted to say Hi. I couldn't imagine who, in that stellar group, would want to say hi to me. It was Sarah, from learning to Grok. Holy Cow. I may very well have damaged her eardrum. Wow. That was very cool.

Anyway - take some time and check that all out. Then think what you can do to support this wonderful project. I'll check in with y'all when I get settled tonite. Meanwhile - I'm outta here!!!

Flash Back

Well, it's Mama Vi's bithday weekend. And I have to say it's been a very pleasant weekend - for a change.

For reasons I won't go into here, I haven't been "home" as much as I had been. Oh, I've been keeping an eye on things and I can get here in a heartbeat if I need to, but I haven't made the trip. And that's ok. With everyone.

But this was a weekend I knew I couldn't miss. Mama's 75th birthday.

I left right from work Friday night. Downtown Chicago at rush hour. THAT'S a good time (not). As I hit the Indiana state line Mama called. She made me a surprise. Homemade apple dumplings. And let me tell you folks - no one makes dumplings like my Mama. She tells me she's sorry, she's outta milk, but if I want some she can "make it for me". (IOW - powdered milk) I quickly assure her there is NO NEED FOR THAT and I'll be just fine. Yick. But the dumplings? Oh.......edible memories from my childhood. Yummmmmy.

It seemed so strange that night - sleeping in my old bed. Oh, I didn't live in this house, but she's got my old bedroom furniture. As I hunker down in the full size haven, my feet hanging off the foot of the bed, curled up and taking over half the surface, I smiled. The sheets still smell like home. The comforter is one of my favorites. Home.

Got up Saturday morning and Mama is already gone to a craft fair. You see, she makes these baby blankets and kitchen towels that are GORGEOUS and this is the season she can sell 'em. As I putter around the kitchen I have to grin. It's the same set up it's been for my whole life. No matter where we lived, the coffee cups go above the coffee pot. Of Course. It's the same dish set Daddy bought for her. The one that was under the tree the year after he died. The same plain, solid silverware. Home.

This morning we got up, shared a couple pots of coffee and I'm getting ready to head back home. My home. I just hope someday, someone will have these same type of warm fuzzy memories of there as I do here......

Buzz Buzz Buzz

Spouse Buzz is ON THE ROAD!!

This weekend they are down in Killeen Texas.

Check it out - I've heard rumors there will actually be live blogging and such. I'll keep this post at the top for the day, to keep an eye on things and let you know.

Saturday Question

On Saturdays I'll try to come up with some "out there" question that just makes you stop and think about something not so important. Think of it as a mini vacation. If you have any ideas drop me a line and we'll throw it in here. Who knows, it might be fun.

OK - Here goes: Since it's Halloween weekend (sorta) if you could dress up in any costume you wanted what would you be and why?

I thought about this on my long ass drive to Mama Vi's last night. I still have a favorite from a few years ago that I would repeat in a heartbeat.

I dressed up for work as a redneck housewife. It was perfect for me - the scariest part being I didn't need to buy one single thing to pull it off.

I used to have this XXXL flannel nightie. Loved It. Most comfortable thing I've ever owned. So I put that bad boy one, with a lovely old beat-up pair of hiking boots and a pair of old socks. Put my hair up in those god-awful pink curlers (where those came from I have no idea but I had a couple dozen in a box when I moved down to Florida) and then covered that with a hair net. I put on a nice layer of white foundation (left over from my modeling days) so it looked like cold cream. PERFECT. I got to wear my jammies to work and it really cracked everyone up. Especially since I had this reputation as a party girl, and was, well, known for always obsessing with my clothes.

So - what would you do to dress up for Halloween? Remember, it's what ever you want.......

Down and Dirty

Well, I'm here at Mama Vi's. South Bend Indiana. We've got us a little higher learning facility just down the road. You might have heard of it before. Notre Dame?

Almost exactly one year ago I was goin' to my very first Notre Dame. I had the time of my life.

Well today is a pretty big game. I sure do wish I had tickets. I'd love nothing better than to watch ND beat Navy.

I know, I know - I've got some friends that are either in the Navy, grew up in a Navy family or just flat out hate Notre Dame. And I'm alright with that. This, this is all about the football. Any other week, I'd love to see Navy win. This week? Nope. Not gonna happen.

The Golden Dome has been polished up. Touchdown Jesus is watchin'. It may not be a home game but the place is lookin' kinda spiffy. We're kickin' some ass this afternoon.....

GO IRISH!!!!!

On The Radio - UPDATED!!!

3:00 CENTRAL TIME: PLEASE NOTE: I JUST GOT A CALL FROM ARMY WIFE. THE SHOW HAS BEEN CANCELLED DUE TO HER FLIGHT BEING DELAYED!!!!

It's a big weekend!!!

So I'm gonna take it a day at a time.

This afternoon at 4:00 central time Army Wife and Andi (of Andi's World) are going to be on the Andrea Shea King Show - click HERE for live stream. They will be talking about the latest, in my opinion greatest idea, on-line community for military spouses - SpouseBuzz.

In fact - this whole weekend will be featuring Spouse Buzz so prepare to be inspired, educated and well, motivated.

On a personal note, I'm just so damned proud of AW. It's no secret that she is a very close friend, and to see her work so hard on a project and make such an impact. It's amazing and a bit humbling. Makes me realize I need to step up and do more myself. In fact, I've heard rumor of another great project on the horizon and I can't wait to find out more to share with y'all.

Meanwhile - set the alarm. You don't want to miss this interview. I'll be listening - along with most of my office, cause they don't have a choice!!!

You Never Know

I walked away from my customer visit on Tuesday feeling like it went....bad. Really bad.

They wanted to talk about dolls and I haven't had to deal with that segment of our product line. I was floored.

And they were not happy. They weren't happy with some decisions we've made as a company, they weren't happy about inventory levels, they weren't happy about product selection. They Were Not Happy.

Damn. But I told them I'd do what I could to find them answers and to address they're concerns. It's all I can do. I didn't promise any miracles, but I'd do what I could.

When I got off the plane Wednesday night I checked my Blackberry. I had an email from the President of that company. Thanking me for stopping by. Thanking me for caring. Telling me it made a difference and that they look forward to a new, improved relationship with our company.

You never know what people are really thinking. I'll tell you - it surprised the hell out of me. And was a real boost to my morale.

Some One Said It For Me

Some of you know that I'm not real fond of that song "The Chicken Dance".

Well - I think the following video expresses my feelings perfectly.

It's kinda long, but watch to the end. You'll get my point.....(or you could just skip to the end and save yourself the damned earworm)

I need to be pink....

....pink like that little energizer bunny guy.

Got back to the office yesterday only to discover another trip has been booked. This one? North Carolina. Gonna go open another distributor down there. The week after I get back from Ct/Ma/NY.

But that explains somethin' for me. That banging in my head is that flippin' drum going, going, going......

Actually - I feel a bit more like this -

Looking Back Some More

As I've said over and over again - the wedding was great. It was a special treat for me because I got to spend time with family and friends ALL IN ONE PLACE! That's right! No drivin' from here to timbuckto. WooHoo. Not to mention food and drink.

Now, let me just say here - this is the first family wedding where there was music and booze at the reception. I loved it. The family had no issue. Now - it wasn't the whole family, THE Aunts weren't there, but still. Was just kinda weird. The only family I ever drink in front of is Cuz so this was just a bit surreal. And of course, no one really dance - but we had music. We had drink. It was officially a party.

We all headed back to Cuz's after cleanin' up and had pizza and beer and watched a movie. The perfect way to wind down from a very eventful day.

Monday mornin' came bright and FLIPPIN' EARLY! Holy Crap. I was on the road by 7:00am. Drivin' drivin' drivin' to West Palm. It was like old times. My old territory. Damn - I hate Central Florida. No water. Just flat open ugly land. And cookie cutter housing developments. Oh, and hotels. Yick.

Bou had graciously said she would help me get around town and that way we could spend some time together while I worked, plus - I wouldn't be all pissed off because I was lost. WooHoo. It's a twofer. Well, there was an even bigger surprise because she had figured out a way that I could hook up with VW and the boys. THAT was a wonderful surprise.

VW was a sweetheart. And those boys? Wonderful. I just hate that it was one of those horrible "snatch and grab" visits. Like I said earlier - next time VW? I'll make sure there's MORE time. Hell - I need to hear some more of those jokes. I need material for my sales calls!

Bou and I did get a chance to just sit and chat over lunch. THAT was nice. I don't remember the last time the two of us had time or opportunity to do that.

We hit one last store, I did my "schpiel" and then........off I go again.

It was a great day. My store visits gave me all the information I need to make some changes and the added bonus of great company just topped it all off.

If I didn't say it before - Thank You Bou. The day was good because of all your help. And so you know, I barely even missed the semi naked nubile men. Really.

Disappointed

Damn. I am the worst picture type person ever in life.

Seriously. Hardly any of the pictures I took at the wedding turned out.

And that's not pictures I took with the camera, that's the ones with me in them also.

But....here's one with Carmen and I. We were posing with her mom and another of our cousins - a great idea, but it took a few tries. (I cropped as I don't know how they'll feel bein' on the internet and all)

I like to call this one "Wait! I'm not done talking yet!!!"

Huh

Home.

Exhausted.

No way in hell I'm unpacking tonite so no pictures tomorrow. Sorry. Soon. Promise.

I'll unpack tomorrow. So I can repack tomorrow night for the weekend at Mama Vi's. To come home Sunday. To unpack. And repack for New York on Monday.

Did I say exhausted? Yeah......

Looking Back

Well, here I am settled in at Tampa airport with about an hour to spare so I thought I'd start some of those promised recaps. Still no pictures yet, for a couple reasons. 1) I won't load that software on my work laptop. and 2) I was so damned busy I really didn't take that many pictures. Oops.

Anyway- Saturday. Saturday was interesting. Got up early and settled out on the deck for my morning coffee with Cuz. The family was all there. Carmen and her beau (at the time) Chris and his lovely partner. Junior, Cuz and her guy. We're sittin' around laughin' and talking when, damn.....I felt something crawling on me. Oh SHIT! ANTS!!! And me, with no EpiPen. Shit Shit Shit.

And you guessed it - as I was yankin' up my shirt and dancing around those suckers were biting away. I have about 5 nice size welts. At least they weren't fire ants, so no visits to the ER, but still, that did NOT make me happy.

Anyway - off I go to Tampa. Do somethings I need to do and visit withh some old friends. Damn, it was so good to see them. And it's just funny to see where we are today compared to where we hoped/dreamed/planned on being......

Heading back to St. Pete I swing buy and pick up That 1 Guy. He's a family favorite and they just couldn't imagine this weekend without him. As it turns out, he was pretty much the hero. Anyway - it was great to see him and get a chance to really talk. Well, when he wasn't stressing over my driving or taking a nap. You'd think after all the miles we've logged together he'd know better than to worry by now. :-)

Get to the hall and well, chaos. Yeah, that's the perfect word. But luckily I had spent hours on the phone with Cuz so I knew pretty much what she wanted. T1G and I get a ladder and start to hang the fabric along the walls. As we get the ladder in place Cuz makes sure he knows NOT to allow me on any rung. At All. Period. Lovely - nice to know my abilities are so respected.

It took a bit longer to pull everything together, but when all was said and done it looked great. Of course, T1G annouces to Cuz that the curtains looked "gay". And I'll tell you - he's the ONLY person that could have gotten away saying that at that time. He actually made her laugh. It was like a miracle or somethin'.

For the Rehersal Dinner we headed to a family resturant called Good Times in South St. Pete/Terre Ceia. It's german style and damned good. I couldn't breath when we were finished - and I didn't even get dessert. Fine Food, Fine Company, Fine Conversation.

Took T1G back to his abode and got back to Cuz's a bit later. Passed out and woke up bright and early Sunday.

Went and got the rental car and.....well, that's for the next post....

Guess What?

Guess what news we got yesterday?

Go ahead - click over and find out.

Oh - and check out the picture......

The Hard Part

Damnit.

Just flippin' damnit.

Just got home from another great evening. Dinner with LeeAnn, her DH and T1G - what a way to spend my last night here.

But there was one problem. I had to say good-bye. Again.

I really don't understand it. I know before I head down here that I'm going back. I have a job I love. A job that is so rewarding. I have responsibilites up there. But when I landed in Tampa early Saturday morning I told Cuz it was just all wrong. I can't tell you how many times I've landed in that airport and she's picked me up. And brought me home. But even as I got my luggage I was thinking - this is wrong. I shouldn't be thinking about leaving already. But I was.

Last night saying goodbye to Joyce was hard. We were a part of each other's every day. Every day we spent time together. Every single day for years. Hearing her say she missed me was hard. Oh, it was nice to hear. We all need to know that the people we care about miss us, think about us, wonder how we are. But - damnit. Just damnit.

Tonite was all about great food, good wine and the best company. Honest. Never a moment of silence, just stories and laughter.

But leaving kicked my ass. Royally. I'll admit it. I cried from the moment I got onto 275. All the way across the Sunshine Skyway. I hate the good-byes. Just flat out hate them.

I know it's only for a while. I know that with real friends distance makes no difference. But it sure is nice to sit around a table, watch their eyes sparkle with mischief and hear the sound of their laughter. NOTHING on earth replaces a real live hug. NOTHING.

So tonite I'm hunkerin' down on the couch. And I'll pout for a bit. The tomorrow - I"ll get up, make my call, pack my bags and fly north. All the while carryin' the picture of those smiles, the sound of that laughter and the feel of those hugs with me. It's gotta last a while. I'm going to cherish it.

Whirl Wind

Ohh I have so much to tell y'all. Seriously. But.....and ya knew that was comin'....I've got to get out of the house in a bit for my first meeting this morning. So instead, we'll have a little quickie, then go into detail as soon as I get a chance.

Wedding - WONDERFUL. Carmen was the most beautiful bride. And I almost, emphasis almost, cried. I was honored to read my favorite bible passage and that is what came close to making me lose it. But it was all just beautiful. Pictures when I get home. Oh - and no, I didn't dance.

Monday - I did the loop. The loop that is Florida. Started out in St Petersburg and drove over to West Palm. Met up with Bou who was kind enough to make sure I didn't get lost AND spend time with me. We met up with VW and her sweet sweet boys, and off we dashed again. Some great calls, a very good meal and wonderful company. Too short (time wise, not Bou) but wonderful none the less.

Then, back across the state and north again for dinner last night with one of my closest friends. THAT kicked my ass. Laughing, crying, wanting me to "come home". Yeah, that was tough.

Finally back to St. Pete around 11:00. Cell phone deader than a doornail, folks worried and me draggin' ass.

Today? Meeting with my Rep. Call with one of my accounts and then dinner with LeeAnn and T1G.

Hopefully - I can get some time this afternoon to tell you the stories. But right now - I got me stuff ass to kick and stuff to sell.

:-)

Damn, I'm havin' fun!

Hear Them Bells??

It's the Wedding Day. The house has been bustling since 6:00am. The girls are getting their hair done and the boys are just waiting for the time they have to head out.

The reception decorations came together well, and everything is pretty much in control.

I think it should all be just beautiful. It's a gorgeous day, if not a bit toooo warm. But I'll take anything as long as it's not raining.

I bought extra memory for the camera so there should be lots of pictures after I get home.

Ok - I better go get showered and try and pull myself together.

Ahhh - it's a wedding. Don't tell anyone, but I just love these things......

H H H

Well I actually made it. I'm here, in Florida and it's everything I remember. Hot. Humid. Beautiful.

You have to realize the trip out of Chicago was a PITA. Of COURSE my flight was delayed. And then delayed again. And they kept changing the gate. I'd be all settled in to wait and pretty soon I'd hear someone talkin' about Vancouver and realize I was in the wrong place. Again. Four times. But at least it kept me entertained while I waited.

Finally got into Tampa around 1:00am. As I was walking towards the luggage a strange woman stopped me. At 1:00am dressed in sunglasses, hat and raincoat with shorts (it was not raining) I hear "I"m looking for a tall brunette" (My first thought was - ain't we all darlin') and as I glanced her way I realize it's CARMEN!! She was telling me while she was waiting that they made that announce to please report any suspicious behavior immediately and we both had visions of her being tackled by TSA for lookin' like such a FREAK! Personally - I'd have dug the camera out for that one!

Anyway - getting ready to start the day. The girls are off to have their nails done. Me? I'm working a bit this morning. Got a few stores to hit and a lunch meeting. We still have flowers to finish and details to clear up for tomorrow. Then tonite - decorating, rehersal and a very very yummy dinner at this great European resturant.

But wanted to let you know - I'm here. It's hot. I'm happy.

Saturday Question

A day early......

On Saturdays I'll try to come up with some "out there" question that just makes you stop and think about something not so important. Think of it as a mini vacation. If you have any ideas drop me a line and we'll throw it in here. Who knows, it might be fun.

OK - Here goes: It's late. You're lying in bed drifting off to sleep. When you hear it. That ONE song that seems to constantly play in the back of your mind. On loop. Always.

What is it?

Now, I realize that for those of us that suffer from this malady, called earwormidis, the song will change every few years. For years and years and years it wasn't really a song that played for me. It was one line in a song, and I don't even flippin' know what song. Talk about frustrating!!! But right now? The song I hear as I drift off to sleep every night - Copa Cabana by Barry Manilow. For cryin' out loud.......of all the songs..... I have no idea why, and you need to know how very much I hate that song. But there you have it - now forever a part of the soundtrack of my life. Yipee (not).

Anyway - what about you? What song do you hear as you drift off at night?

D Day

Holy Crap! It's Friday.

Already, it's Friday.

And tonite, after a full day at work I'm gonna get on that plane and head south. I'm headin' home.

I have to almost (and I do mean almost) laugh at all the problems that have come up with this one trip. Seriously. It was booked 2 months ago for cryin' out loud. But did ANYONE plan ahead? No.

Got an email yesterday that there are no cars available Friday night in Tampa. Did you note I said YESTERDAY? Yeah, they waited to book my car. You can only imagine my reaction. I called Tampa, to beg. Didn't work. I then found a car available Sunday morning. So despite the fact that I kept asking how all the arrangements were coming (and being told fine) and all the lead time I gave I get to be a pain in the ass the weekend of the wedding. Someone has to pick me up at the airport at 11:00 tonite. THEN someone has to take me back to the airport at 8:00 Sunday morning. I HATE putting people out.

Oh, and I should probably mention not a single presentation is coming along smoothly. AGAIN, thanks to everyone else's lack of planning everything I do has to be redone. And before you think I'm playing the blame game, I'm not. Honest. If it's my fault I'll say. This? This is just from laziness.

Put all that together with the whole no smoking (not much at all, anyway) and well, I am kinda sorta a bitch. OK-full fledge, raging, don't even look at me crosswise bitch.

Which actually made yesterday rather humorous. It's amazing how far everyone stayed from my office yesterday.

Anyway - I'm packed. I've got all my set appointments set, my retail day laid out - thanks Bou. I'm ready for the wedding and so anxious to see everyone. Everything is scheduled so I have no real hurry - well except for the whole reprinting of everything thing I've already done. (stop it. don't go there....)

No pictures until I get back next week - but I'll keep y'all updated.

UnF*ckin'Believeable

Can't put my anger into coherent words.

Go - read Matt's post.

Then leave a comment at CNN.

Damn those bastards. Another reason I do NOT watch the news....

Almost Home

Sean at Doc in the Box is ALMOST HOME from his 3rd deployment to Iraq.

Pop on over and wish him safe travels, Thank Him for his service and welcome him home.

Go On!! Get on over there!!!!

A Rant Worth Reading

You need to click over to LeeAnn's View.

Now, all bias aside, let me tell you - that girl can rip off a rant when she get's ticked. Seriously, it's a thing of beauty. Well, as long as you aren't on the recieving end of that rant.

Anyway- head on over. See what's got her so worked up. Damn - I sure do wish I could write like that.

Rough Road

My friend's daughter tried to kill herself the other day. She is alright physically now, but they have a very long road in front of them - and it just breaks my heart.

You hear of more and more teenage suicides. Many of us will wonder "what could possibly be so bad at that age to take your own life?"

Well, a lot as it happens.

Pressure starts early any more. Peer pressure like we never knew growing up. Pressure to succeed. Better grades, more impressive class load, a major that everyone is awed by. Finding the right partner. Hell, just finding a partner. Living up to all of the expectations heaped on you. And say what you want - we all have expectations of those we love. ALL of us. And trust me, they know it. Whether we talk about it or not. They know.

I spent quite a bit of time on the phone with my friend, listening to her just cry her way through the situation. Asking all the Why's. And I realized I was going to have to share something I do not talk about. One of my dark secrets.

Let me explain something first. I believe that when we go through horrible times it is so important to learn from them. And to use that experience to help someone else get through. You can tell me all you want that you understand but unless you walked this road - you have no idea. But if you have been here, I'll listen. You survived, you prospered. I'll listen.

Anyway as I heard my friend blamming herself more and more I knew I had to step in. I had to stop this train wreck if I could.

I admitted to her that I had attempted suicide twice back in my early 20's. I had spent 5 1/2 months in a psych ward. I was the same age her daughter is. I understand.

I then let her know that it wasn't her fault. What she will hear from her daughter is the blame game. Until she can come to terms with the pain that pushed her over the edge she will blame others. She will blame others that she knows will love her no matter what. Don't listen to those words right now. It's just the poison coming out.

But I made sure she knew that no matter what she HAD to make sure her daughter got the help she needed. DO NOT rush the treatment. And it's not a quick fix.

I went into that hospital an angry scared bitter girl. I hated everything about myself and my life. I left there still scared. But not so angry anymore. And with a realization that I'm not so bad. But that all took time. And work. And more time.

My heart is breaking for my friend and her family today. What they are going through is so very difficult. But the road ahead is even steeper. And the most important part is the recovery. Please - keep them in your thoughts and prayer.

Longer than I thought

I have mentioned on numerous occasions that I have a long ass drive to work and home everyday. I actually enjoy the time on the road most of the time, but sometimes it just seems to last forever.

Today I stepped out to pick up something for lunch and looked at the building next to ours. It's kind of a tourist attraction, you see. But I never really paid attention.

Well, I did today. THIS is what I see when I look next door.

Funny, I don't remember crossing any water during the drive. I really AM going to need to start payin' attention.....

**It's actually the Leaning Tower YMCA, but damn - folks still flock for pictures and it's kind of a tourist attraction. I don't get it.......

Sometimes.....

.....I'm just in such a happy place.

Do you wanna know how I'm spending my morning? No, well, I'm tellin' ya anyway.

I am spending this morning finalizing my product pitch for some of my favorite folks. Army & Airforce Exhange, Navy and the Marine Corp. WooHoo.

I'm just sitting here in my office thinking of products we sell that will make children happy to make and parents even happier to recieve.

Damn - sometimes I just really love my job!!! How did I get this lucky??

Set it and forget it

Folks tease me about that whole "this is what I'm gonna need for you to do..." thing I have. It's really not as bad as they make it out to be (I hope). Except for with work.

And to narrow that down even more - it's work when I'm traveling. I have this burning need to be completely in control and know EXACTLY what's going on when wherever I will be. Yeah - and that statement even down plays it a little bit.

Let's take my trip to Florida the end of this week. It started out to just be me going over the weekend for the wedding. Then I decided I'd take a vacation day on Monday to spend some time with my family.

Well, my boss told me if I'd make a couple calls down there they would pick up the air fare. Huh? Sure. No problem. So I contact my rep TWO FLIPPIN' MONTHS AGO and tell him to get to schedulin'.

Nothing.

Not a damn word from him.

So, as I start to kinda panic I start to schedule. I'm trying to combine work and pleasure. You see there are sooooo many people down there that I miss terribly. People I want to spend some quality time with. BUT I've got to balance that with the work. I don't like to feel like I'm taking advantage of anything/anybody so I'm trying to balance out everything.

So far this is what I've got. Arrive around 11:00pm Friday in Tampa. Saturday drive to Brandon to hit a couple of stores but most importantly have lunch with a very dear friend. Saturday night - wedding stuff. Sunday - Wedding.

Monday - get up early early and drive to S.E. Florida. Have lunch with this lady and hit stores. Drive back to Bradenton that evening for dinner with another dear friend.

Tuesday - 3 appointments and a meeting with my Rep. Then dinner with LeeAnn and her hubby.

Wednesday - BIG meeting. Huge. REALLY important. Then fly home around 5:30pm.

Now, sometime in there I'm hopping to at least pass That 1 Guy on the road and wave, if not get to have an actual convesation. I've also got some family in there I HAVE to make time for.

OK- everything is buttoned up. THEN my rep calls yesterday with more stuff scheduled. I'd sent him my agenda, he's had 2 months. NOW he's making arrangements. I picked up the phone - it wasn't the nicest of conversations. I am NOT changing my plans. I am not doin' it. I think of all the reps, he's learning the fastest that I ain't kidding when I say "this is what......" Yeah, you know the rest.

Irony

Damn it. I should have grabed a screen shot. Sorry.

But the irony hit me hard enough that I had to share. On a news article about a new test to detect anorexia or bulemia there was an advertisement for that new "magic pill" to get rid of unwanted belly fat.

Yeah.....that's one well thought out marketing plan. /sarcasm

Counting My Blessings

You know - sometimes you have to just step back and take a look at all the good.

Y'all know I'm living in The Belfry. Not my ideal, but it's got enough room that I can have some folks over, it's got a kitchen that I can cook anything I want to in, the bedroom and bathroom are much bigger than you would imagine. It's good.

Oh, it's upstairs. And it's an outdoor entrance. So you can imagine this winter should be pretty interesting. And no garage. Nope.

But my landlady makes up for any negative involved.

Last night she brought me up a bowl of homemade soup. I sent home the left over manicotti. She was thrilled.

At least once a week, when I return from my travels, she brings me a piece of homemade pie to welcome me home.

As I was leaving for work the other day I found a pair of slacks on the bottom step with a note. She bought them for herself, but they were about 4 inches too long so she thought I might want them. Folks - I don't think this woman is 5" tall. She's very funny.

I realize I am so very lucky to have found her. Who would have guessed my short stay in The Little Blue Cracker House would have brought me such a wonderful friend.

Yeah, when I get frustrated with the situation sometimes, I just have to stand back and count my blessings. I'm a pretty lucky lady.

I just HATE Meds

You know what they DON'T tell you about the new stop smoking medicine I'm on? Yeah, they DON'T tell you that about the time you get used to the shit, the dosage goes up.

Wonderful. 3 days to get ready for 3 weeks worth of travel and I'm so flippin' sick I can barely sit up straight.

Damn it.

Needless to say - this does NOT make me happy.

However, the good news? Yeah, I kept it at a total of 5 cigarettes in a 36 hour period. Can I just tell you, normally that number would be more like 40. Or more.

So that's good. That's the one good thing about this whole brilliant idea of mine to get fippin' healthy.

Your Input Needed - again...

It's been pointed out to me that I really don't understand/know/get the way guys think.

Huh. Imagine that. I'm a girl. Whoda thunk...

Anyway - for work, I kinda need to know how the younger (like elementary school age) boys would think. At least what they are interested in, what catches their attention.

So - I'm going to use one of my lifelines and ask the "audience".

Those of you who have elementary age children (especially boys), spend time with them or if you guys out there can remember that far back....HELP!!!

OK - I'm pulling together what we call a "Back To School" line. Stuff that can be put in that section of stores next year as y'all are preparing for, well, school.

We had a series of folders that were alright. You could decorate them, but they weren't GREAT. Actually, I hate them. BUT - we have some awesome 3D stickers - letters, animials, sports, pirates - that are GREAT for putting on folders to declare your individuality. They retail for $1 a bag. There's enough in a bag to do a folder perfectly. So - my question is, will boys buy this kind of stuff? Or should I just focus on the girls and taylor the line for them?

I've got a huge call next week, with a customer that I really really want to land. The meat of my meeting is for Back To School. If this works it will be the line I have everyone on my team present. So please, please please - can you help me think like a guy???????!!!!!!!

Today

Well it's a good thing I stop smoking today.

Yeah, pulled a Stupid Tammi Trick last night on the way home. Dropped my lit cigarette between the door and the seat. While in stop and go traffic on I90. At rush hour.

Couldn't reach the damned thing and could smell it smouldering.

Not good. Not good at all.

Did I mention it was raining? No? Yeah, well it was.

I pull over to the shoulder and get out and try to reach it. Couldn't. But - I managed to pull the fire off with my fingers. (Ouch)

As I continued on my way, I started getting a little parinoid. Do I smell something burning? Do I? Or am I just over reacting?

I keep thinking I smell something. Then the parinoia progresses.

You see I tanned after work. And as I was wearing slacks I wore...ummm...anti panty line undies. They put me in the booth for a few more minutes tonite than previously. To just put it out there - I didn't know if my seat was on fire or if my cheeks were burning. Yeah - lucky for me it was just my cheeks.

Anyway - I'm done. Finished. Over it. No more smoking in the car.

Now excuse me, I need to apply some aloe.......

Through His Eyes

I've been lax. But I'm fixing that right now.

Go here - to Lex's place and read this post. Throught his words, you'll see an air mission unfold that, well, if it doesn't give you chill bumps go back and read it again.

As always Lex - Damn.....

Sick? or Cranky?

I don't know what the hell has changed but it's really starting to tick me off.

Most of the time when I check my site meter it kicks me out of Firefox all together. Poof. Everything just shuts down.

Didn't use to do this. Doesn't do it in IE.

I don't know why it's happening or what is causing it. I just want it to stop.

Anyone else having that issue, or do I need to check for viruses again?

A Special Day

Today is a rather special day in our family. Oh, we don't make a big deal about it. Just a few phone calls, maybe pulling out a photo album or two. When I was younger and still living at home we would have a very nice dinner. Pot roast, with all the veggies and apple crisp. Served hot with ice cream. Every year. No matter what.

Today is my father's birthday. He'd be 76 this year. Wow. I have to be honest, having never been close to his family I have not seen his brothers and sisters age. I cannot imagine my father 76 years old. He was almost 42 when he died. Just a baby. Huh. I'm older than my father. THAT is kinda freaky, if you think about it.

I had a very special post in mind for today, but what I needed to pull it off is all still in storage. Maybe next year.

But as I sit here this morning, coffee in hand I just see a series of images in my mind.

A picture he colored when he was just a boy. Of a sailor, swabbing the deck. He always wanted to be in the Navy.

The look on his face when I would say something "typically tammi". The confusion, then the dawn of understanding. Ending one of two ways. Laughter or Lecture. (even as a youngster I came up with some real doozies)

Watching him work in the yard. The look of concentration, making sure everything was just right. The look of pride as we sat on the swing afterwards, surveying all that we had accomplished.

The sound of his laughter. Yes, 34 years later I still hear it.

Sitting on the floor by his chair, my puppy in the chair next to him. Eating popcorn and apples watching football. In my minds eye I can still see from that vantage point. How tall he was (he was really only 5'6") I feel small and protected. And lucky. Football, popcorn and my daddy. Three of my favorite things.

Happy Birthday Daddy.

Normal

Ohhh it was such a normal Sunday. And exactly what I've been missing.

My dear friends, Contagion, Ktreva and Clone stopped by to spend Football Sunday at The Belfry. I had a few snicky snacks and made some mexican manicotti for dinner. Finishing off with Grandma's peanut butter pie. Yeah!! I cooked. Yeah!! I had pie!! Yeah!! I had company.

And the timing was perfect. This week is going to be a madhouse. I'm leaving for Florida on Friday. I have 2 major presentations while I'm there. Gotta have everything done, printed and samples ordered before I leave. When I get back I have to finalize everything for my NY trip the next week. BUT, samples need a few days, so those have to be ordered this week also. Well, can't order the samples till I know what I want sampled so need those presentations done this week also. Get back from NYC and have one work day before I leave for CT/MA and upperstate NY. Well crap. Better have the samples ordered for that too. But again, can't sample til I know what I want.

In other words....I've got one week to get three weeks worth of work done. That's pushing it even for me!!

So yesterday? Having folks over. Eating, drinking, watchin' football? Yeah, it was EXACTLY what I needed.

Normal. I love normal.

Oh, and did ya see? Did ya see??? MY BUC'S WON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Doesn't Happen Every Day

7 days. One week. If you read the Bible, that was the amount of time it took for God to create the world AND have a day of rest. Wars have started and ended in that time.

Seven days.

Seven days from today is the wedding. My niece will no longer be Miss Carmen, but Mrs. Carmen. Married. Wow.

And I have to tell you, it has been incredibly difficult being so far away during these past few months as everything has been planned and primped. I've missed all the shopping trips, the planning sessions, those late nights sitting around Cuz's house just talking. I hate that.

Not only did I miss all that, but I never got a chance to talk with her. To share my "wisdom" as it were. You do realize, I'm that annoying Aunt we all have. The one that embarrasses us with hugs and kisses. The one who always has something to say about everything. Yep. Poor Carmen. She's got one of THOSE aunts.

I'm a pretty big fan of marriage and family. I truly believe it is the most important part of our society. That said, you can imagine I have a few ideas. Theories for want of a better word.

So, true to form, I have marriage advice. Advice that's been handed down for generations, not just in my family but it's pretty universal.

It's all about the love. Love for each other. Love for the family. Love for yourself.

Don't ever lose sight of who YOU are. He fell in love with that wonderful, spunky, intelligent and funny woman that you are. Don't let her get lost in the mix. Take time for you. Take care of you.

Treasure where you come from. Your family. You'll start new traditions of your own, but hold close those that have been a part of Us for decades.

And remember to keep your home full of love. Oh, there'll be days (weeks possibly) where you're angry or hurt, but don't lose sight of how you felt that first time you looked at him and KNEW. Knew that this was a man you could respect. A man you could count on. A man you love.

My favorite passage in the bible sums it all up perfectly. There are a million sayings that have been passed down over the years, but I prefer this one. 1st Corinthians Chapter 13 (from the New International Version)

It all comes down to the love. If you keep that as your focus, all those rough times get just a little easier. If you remember to respect and trust each other you'll find those difficult times a bit smoother. Oh, nothing is perfect. Nothing is easy. But by remembering WHY you'll find anything is possible. You are partners, and that partnership is the basis of everything. For as long as time.

It all comes down to the love. It's as simple as that.

One last famous quote - from The Princess Bride...

Westley: Hear this now: I will always come for you.
Buttercup: But how can you be sure?
Westley: This is true love - you think this happens every day?

No, no it doesn't. But when it does it's something very special........

Happy Birthday

Today is Eric, that infamous Straight White Guy's birthday. What do you do to wish someone who just has it all a very happy birthday?

Well, knowing how much Eric loves music. And having heard him play the guitar. Also knowing he's a fan of SRV I found what I think is a perfect video for him. Stevie Ray Vaughn and Jeff Healey playin' "Little Sister".

Happy Birthday Eric!! I know you're havin' a great time. May this just be the beginning of a wonderful year!!!!

Let Me Entertain You

So yesterday was a pretty hectic day. I don't know if it's ALL the fault of these meds I'm on or if it's the combo of my reps taking me at my word (and calling for EVERYTHING) with lack of sleep and cutting back/quitting the smoking or what. All I know is I am really really slammed.

Yesterday afternoon I get a call on my cell phone. It was Teresa. She's at Ohare. That's the airport 15 minutes from my office. That's the airport I pass everyday going back and forth to work. Holy Cow!! She's here!!!!!

And she ain't goin' no where soon. Seems she got held over here til this morning. Well damn. I'm thinking dinner.

So I told her to get settled, I had to run an errand and then I'd be right there.

And that's exatly what I did. We had a wonderful dinner together. A chance to really chat. Our visit in Boston one of the girls from work joined us so it just wasn't the same. This made up for it.

I'm sorry for her that her trip got so complicated, but on a selfish note it worked out GREAT for me!!!

So listen, if you're travelin' and get stuck at Ohare airport drop me a line. If I'm in town, I'll be there. I'm always up for dinner or drinks. The secret to that though are those four little words - if I'm in town......

But damn - that call yesterday sure did make my day! Good luck on the rest of your trip Teresa.

Saturday Question

On Saturdays I'll try to come up with some "out there" question that just makes you stop and think about something not so important. Think of it as a mini vacation. If you have any ideas drop me a line and we'll throw it in here. Who knows, it might be fun.

OK - Here goes: Since I've already posted about the Affy Tapples and such this morning, let's just keep this theme going. What is your favorite fall treat?

For me it USED to be the carmel apples. But now, with that wonderful carmel dip, it's a year round snack for me. In fact, usually I always have some of that carmel in my fridge. Hell - they say it's fat free, and I eat it with fruit so I think of it as a "diet treat". (Hey - go with me on this one, 'mkay?)

But I have to say my favorite fall treat is Apple Cider. I love finding the gallons in the store. And I love it heated up with cinnimon or just ice cold straight from the fridge. I just love it. Period.

So tell me, what is YOUR favorite fall treat?

I'm Just Gonna Do It!!

I'm doing something I've never done in all the years I've traveled for work. I am actually taking time for ME. To the point that I've scheduled an earlier than needed flight. To the point that I'm payin' a bit more for a room than I HAVE to, just so I can do something I want to do.

I'm going to NYC on the 30th of October and having dinner with Blogsis Michele, of Letters From New York fame. I am so excited I can hardly stand myself. I've got a room in a hotel near my customers but in the middle of the theater district. Having grown up dreaming of performing there, that's pretty close to a dream come true.

I'm taking most of that day off just so I can be sure and get to the hotel early enough to meet her for dinner. I usually fly out late in the day, land late and hide in my room. If I can fit in a lunch or dinner between customer calls and such I will. But not this trip. No Siree.

I'm so excited I can hardly stand myself. And you know what? I may just do more of this....so watch out folks. The Travelin' Tammi Show may be headed your way.

Meanwhile? I'm having dinner in New York City with someone I cannot wait to hug!!!!!

Happy Dance

Well, it's almost Halloween. All the signs are there. Leaves turning, crisp air, hell - we've already had snow, for cryin' out loud.

But one sure sign, ever year (even when I was in Florida) that Halloween was right around the corner, were all of the Affy Tapples in all the stores. Everywhere. Those delicous carmel apples. Ymmmm

Well, as it happens I've hit pay dirt.

When I leave my office I usually go the back route to miss the worst of the traffic. Get's me just that 30 seconds I need to feel like I'm actually making progress. These past couple of weeks I haven't been able to.

You see about 2 weeks ago, I dart to the back exit of the parking only to wait. And wait and wait and wait. Trucks backed up for at least a mile. All waiting to turn into one little tiny plant.

My first thought was "Sweet! Someone is shipping the shit outta something! Good for them!!" Then I saw the name of the plant.

Sweet was right. It's the Affy Tapple plant and they have a plant store!!

Gotta tell you folks - this was akin to a Celebrity sighting for me. Y'all know how I love my food. This is the same woman who made a point of telling the Blue Bunny Ice Cream folks working the same show I was how much I loved their product. For 5 minutes I gushed. Yeah, I'm kinda a nerd about that stuff.

Anyway - I'm pretty happy. Now I know I can get Affy Tapples any time I want to! WooHoo.....

This 'n That

I have so many things I want to talk/post about but not one of them in any real detail.

So - I offer you a hodge podge post.

*Today is Friday the 13th. Here's a link with a bit of history as to WHY it's considered such a bad day.

*Speaking of the 13th....Happy Birthday to a certain Turd McFerguson. (Oh, and Snorty, if he doesn't see this please pass along my regards!)

*I got my BlackBerry yesterday. Damn - now they really CAN find me anywhere!

*I'm having company Sunday - what do I fix to eat?

*Will my Bucs ever win again?

*Holy Crap! I'm almost done Christmas shopping already!!

*After yesterday it's jeans and tennis shoes for me. Not as far to fall.

Ok - gotta put my car in drive and headed east. Another day, another dollar.

Happy Friday Y'all!!! Watch out for them black cats and ladders!!!

Exit - Stage Left

This post has a bit of a set up and a pretty quick punch line. Hmmm - and could turn into a really bad joke, but we'll just steer away from that.

Let me tell you what happened today.

Started out pretty damned good. You know when you have one of those days when everything just "clicks". Woke up to fresh coffee actally in the pot, not on the counter. There was hot water for a shower. Make up went on great, very natural. Excellent hair day, no frizz and minimal curl. Got dressed in one of my favorite outfits. Black slacks with white pinstripes. They have this really fun cuff and the cut is wonderful. Black sweater and white blouse. Black high heel pumps finished it off perfectly.

I walk different in this outfit, on days like today. Longer stride, head held high. I just felt GOOD.

Had some meetings and, I swear there was just no stopping me. I was on a roll.

The last meeting in the afternoon was a somewhat tense one, but I held my ground. Ended up where I made a bit of a "statement" and we closed the meeting. I was the first to leave the conference room. As I walked down the hallway back to my office, long stride and all....IT happend. My heel caught in my cuff and I fell flat on my face. Literally. Flat. On my face.

And trust me when I tell you....there is no graceful way past that. Just so you know.

When will I learn - me and dramatic exits just don't mix well.

WWIII

So North Korea went ahead with the nuclear test. They were asked not to. They were TOLD not to. They did it anyway.

Japan reacts with additional sanctions agains NK.

NK's response? Ohhhhh you'll be sorry.....We aren't gonna say what we're gonna do, but we sure are gonna do it. And you'll be sorry.

Now please don't think I'm making light of this situation. I'm not. Not at all. This has me greatly concerned. For shits sake, there's a crazy man with nuclear weapons out there. And he's just standing on the corner beggin' for a fight. That scares the hell out of me.

I'm not ready for WWIII. Not at all.

What do I wish we could do? Just take that son-of-a-bitch out. And I ain't talkin' dinner and a movie.

Damn.

TwoFer

I had this really great post in mind. It was this fantastic idea for a Christmas gift for folks. I was going to post it this morning.

Then I go over to Sgt. Hook's site yesterday and see that great minds really DO think alike. (Gee, I hope I don't offend him with that one!)

So rather than reinvent the wheel I'll point you to his post. You can get a great idea for the Holidays AND help him hit the 500,000 mark.

Komfy Kozie

I stopped at my favorite Tall Girl Shop last night on the way home from work. I'm looking for a long denim skirt to wear with boots this winter.

I found exactly what I was looking for, except....wait for it......you won't believe it when I tell you - it was too long. Yes. It was too long for me. I want something mid calf not down to my damned ankles.

Anyway - while there I noticed they had jammy sets. Ohhh I do love jammies. And these are all so soft and comfy.

So I bought a pair. A pink pair of Jammies for Tammi. Has a nice ring to it doesn't it. But there's a problem. They are a bit too big for me. I bought the size I usually buy my work clothes in, but these are a bit too roomy. But that's ok. They feel delicious. And I'll just have to remember that when I go back and get more.

Oh - and before you ask, I know damned well your gonna ask for a picture. So - it's in the extended entry. I get tired always tellin' you boys No.

What? You didn't honestly think I would post a picture of ME actually WEARING my jammies did you?!?! Ha. Like THAT'LL ever happen....

Funny Email

Got this email today. You may have seen this - but some of these were new to me. I thought we could all use a laugh!!

NEW DRUGS FOR WOMEN
DAMNITOL
Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours.

EMPTYNESTROGEN
Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding you of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out.

ST. MOMMA'S WORT
Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to two days.

PEPTOBIMBO
Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and prevents conception. (LOL)

DUMBEROL
When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks. (HA!!! And no - I've never taken it!)

FLIPITOR
Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers. (I need to find this!)

MENICILLIN
Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to such lethal lines as, "You make me want to be a better person. " (Hell, I should have been a test paitent for THIS one!)

BUYAGRA
Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping Increases potency, duration, and credit limit of spending spree. (LOL)

JACKASSPIRIN
Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary, phone number, or to lift the toilet seat.

ANTI-TALKSIDENT
A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers in elevators.

NAGAMENT
When administered to a boyfriend or husband, provides the same irritation level as nagging him.

Stop with the Excuses

You know I was reading this morning that Mel Gibson had his first interview since his little drunken escapade. I didn't post about that for any number of reasons, mainly because others did it so much better.

Anyway - he said he was sorry, it was just his drunkness talking (or something like that).

Now, can I tell you how much I hate that excuse? Seriously. I was married to a drunk for 11 years. He would say he was an alcoholic, but he wasn't. He didn't HAVE to drink, he chose to. When he quit there were no withdrawls, nothing. He just stopped.

But every "morning after" his excuse was always the same. "Oh, I didn't mean it, it was just the booze talking". Hell - I used that same damned excuse when apologizing for him over the years. I could kick myself now.

I've made no secret to the fact that I like a drink every now and then. And I've been known to over indulge a time or two. But I can tell you I stand by what I say. I don't blow it off "because of the booze". I take responsibility for what I say and do. If I'm worried I might step out of line or say something I don't want out there - I don't drink. Simple. Excuses are like assholes. Everybody's got one and they all stink.

I know I've posted over and over again about how I just wish people would take responsibility for themselves. Their actions. Their words. No excuses. None. But I'm just so tired of mean, rude people. So very tired of them.....

Do These Glasses Make Me Look Taller?

Holy Crap! I'm having some trouble walking. (more than normal)

I picked up my new glasses last weekend. They were just what I wanted - light weight and I actually forget that I have them on. Perfect.

Except for one thing. Now, even with the old glasses (which were bi-focals and these are not), things looked "normal". When walking, I could look down the aisle or walkway and everything looked fine. Now? Now it seems like I'm looking at everything from a very high distance. Seriously.

It's beyond weird. I walked down to the diner on Sunday, it was such a beautiful day. And that was when I first noticed it. Wow. I feel like I'm looking down from the top of a step ladder. Damn.

My next thought? I wonder if this glasses make me look taller? I swear if I'm as tall as these damn things make me feel, I'm going to have to take back both pair of the 3" boots I just bought. Hell, I was just told how short I am now!!!

I said I'm not a dumb girl, I never said anything about being reasonable......

I take it back! I take it back!!!

Today's weather is supposed to be a high in the mid 50's rain all day.

Tomorrow? Snow. High in the mid 40's.

I'm finding out the heat in this place is about as good as the "central" air conditioner was.

Guess I can take the fan out of the bedroom window now. But I ain't touchin' the window air. Last thing I need to do is break either one of those!!!

I'm soooooo screwed. Anyone know of a good sale on blankets??? And was that me just 2 days ago sayin' Bring it On?!?!? WTF? How come no one slapped me??!?!?!?! Geez-o-pete.

Finally!

Finally that slacker niece of mine has actually done something.

She went out and landed herself a DAMN GOOD JOB!! I'm so proud I could just about burst. Her mom told me all about it - cause after all it is very difficult for SOME PEOPLE to pick up a phone and call their favoritest Auntie Tammi - and I knew it was just PERFECT for her.

And she tells us a bit about her wedding shower last weekend.

The wedding is in two week. TWO. I am diein' to be there. It's horrible knowing what's going on and not being able to help. Oh, I "offer my opinion" occassionally, but I can't get my hands on anything. To make matters worse, I don't get down there until late the Friday night before the wedding. All I get to do is help decorate and get watch them get their hair done. Damn it!!

But anyway - she's posted so I thought I'd make sure y'all know to go over and congratulate her.

And if you think I'm giving her a rough time in this post - you should hear us actually TALK to each other! ;-) But she does know I adore her!

Hot and Fresh

Long ago, in what seems like another life, I Tammi was a hippy.

Yes, you read that correctly.

I was going to some wacked out "religious" services, living in a commune type envoirnment and eattin' all healthy and shit.

I remember when I had been in an accident on my bike. I had been taken to the ER and they wanted to hold me for a few days. Well, that was not gonna happen. It was decided, by my "friends" that I should be allowed to heal at "home" so after much arguing with the doctor I was released.

Part of our docturn was healthy. Healthy Healthy Healthy. We thought we knew more than the doctors about what was best for us and we made everything we could from scratch including yogart. Saturday mornings we would go to the dairy farm where we bought our milk and cream and get everything we needed for yogart. Then we'd add the fresh fruit and damn - that was some good stuff. My part of the process was easy. I was in charge of making the granola. Let me tell you folks - there isn't much in life that is as yummy as my homemade granola fresh from the oven. Seriously.

So - what's got me thinkin' about this today? Easy. I'm sooo sick from this medicine and can't seem to eat anything that isn't either tasting terrible or making me sick. Except for something I picked up for lunch. Strawberry yogart with granola. I sat here after throwing out my potato and salad and could have eaten a gallon of that stuff.

And it made me realize - all that time I spent as a hippy wasn't wasted. I think I'll make some granola this weekend.

Update

Because I know y'all are just chompin' at the bit to know how this whole medicine/stop smoking thing is going - I'll give ya what cha want. An update.

Ran into a bit of a problem with side effects. Basically.....they are kicking my ass. I had to stop taking the meds during the last day of the meetings which kinda screwed up my schedule.

But I do think I've fingured out how this medicine is supposed to work. The beauty of this stuff is you don't enjoy smoking AND you lose weight. A TwoFer!! WooHoo. Well, it's easy to lose weight when you're vomiting all the time. And, let me tell you, cigarettes don't taste so good after that either. Yep, judging from my reactions I'm thinking that how the whole thing works.

Well, and the not sleeping well at all is not so good either. Yeah, they say smoking ages a person. THIS stuff will put 10 years on ya easy.

Seriously, I'm back on the meds and reset my quit date to one week from today. October 17th. Kinda fitting as it's the day after my father's birthday and all.

Anyway - that's where that is. I'm still quiting. It's just not as "nice and easy" as I had hoped. But then again, what in life ever really is?

Might have Over Done It a Bit

Oops.

Yeah, well, I'm thinking maybe the meeting went a little TOO well last week.

Just to refresh your memory, my part in this whole company is to manage the sales reps and build new business. I need them motiviated and hyped up. I'm a pretty good motiviational speaker and I've got enough enthusiasm to really keep things going.

The feed back from my reps to my boss contained words like "hungry" and "energetic" and "demanding". One guy said he would do what ever he had to just to avoid sitting across from me and hearing me say "I'm really disappointed." Huh. Cool. I kinda like that feed back.

Anyway - Monday was everyone's first day back after the meeting. As I was driving into work, my phone started ringing. Non-stop.

I can probably best explain what is going on by sharing with you my new current travel schedule.

It's been scheduled that I'll be in Florida Oct 20-25th. The weekend is mine, M-W I'm hitting stores.

Added just today.....

October 30 & 31 New York City Nov 1-3or4 New Jersey.

Nov 7 & 8 Ct. & MA.

Tentative right now for November - Salt Lake City, Pheonix, Florida (again).

Oh, and Milwaukee and Minneapolis fit in there somewhere. It doesn't involve a flight so I'll worry about that later.

These are appointments that they all scheduled in one day. Monday. Holy Crap!!!

Damn - I wish I had this kind of effect on men outside of work! This is kinda nice!!!

But ohhhh am I gonna be gone a lot. My boss is cracking up. He told me he was half expecting this after what he saw last week.

I figure I'm leaving next Friday. I might be back home by February!

Sick, twisted...

...son of a bitch.

OK - the article is old, from last week. But I just found it and it pisses me off so badly I have to put it out here.

Y'all have heard of Good Ole Rev. Phelps, right? He and his followers picket military funerals and such. You know who I mean, I know you do.

They picket the funeral services of our heros "saying that American servicemen and women are dying overseas because God is displeased that the United States tolerates homosexuals."

Well guess where they wanted to show up last week. Go ahead. Guess.

Those stupid, worthless bastards planned on attending and protesting at the funeral services for the five Amish girls that were killed.

Can you flippin' believe that?!?!?

Their reasoning is that since the Governor of PA, Gov. Rendell, said saomething against their (Phelp's group) church THAT IS WHY THOSE CHILDREN WERE MURDERED. IT WAS GOD'S PUNISHMENT.

I cannot tell you the severity of my reaction to this pile of horse shit. I don't know if they ended up attending - if you know please let me know via email or comments. And it's probably a good thing I didn't see this last week, cause I sure as hell wouldn't have been able to focus on my work. But Damn. I'm tellin' you I hated these folks for what they were doing. But now? Words escape me.

Bastards.

ADDED: Thanks to Leslie for sending me this link. Approx. half of the mourners at Charles Roberts funeral were Amish. Total forgiveness. Their faith is amazing.

We Speak English

Business is a complicated world. Seriously. And trust me when I tell you, the devil is in the details. What may seem like a small issue can really REALLY screw up your plan.

For instance, let's talk about packaging. Now, if you want to do business in Canada (well, French speaking Canada) you have to have a certain percentage of your packaging in French. Period. It's the law.

Ok - that's fair. We're importing product so we should have to abide by their laws. I can deal with that.

But what I take real issue with is the fact that some retailers within these United States, where English is supposed to be the main language, will no longer stock or sell your product if you do not have Spanish on the packaging. And that is for product they are SELLING here, not just buying here.

And they aren't kidding.

I can sorta/kinda/almost see what they are doing. Hispanics have become one of the major purchasing groups in this country. Cool. We design products that we know will appeal and try to get their business. It's what we do. BUT - why oh why should I have to spend all that extra money to put Spanish labeling on packages that will be sold in America?

First and foremost it raises the cost. People want a deal. Manufacturers are pushed daily to reduce costs. We can't do that if we're spending all that money on packaging. In many cases the damn boxes/bags and such costs more to make than the product itself. And no matter what you say, presentation is important. The way the product is displayed goes a long way in how successful you are.

Rumor has it, we may be legally required to modify everything. This does NOT make me happy. So we're looking at packaging with English, French and Spanish. How in the hell are we even going to know what the hell is IN there?!?!?

I want people to purchase what I sell. Really I do. But I need to make a profit too. That's kinda important. Otherwise, my employer cannot afford to pay me, and I am NOT in this as a charity. But special interest groups are making this harder and harder to do.

Seriously, every day this is becoming a bigger and bigger issue. And you can think it doesn't effect you. You can believe that it's all a bunch of hot air. But as your prices rise, please keep in mind, by not speaking up, by not making sure our government understands this is unexceptable, you are helping to make things worse.

Who? Me!

I am NOT a good actress. Not by any stretch of the imagination. If I even attempt to THINK about playin' Little Miss Innocent I give myself away without so much as a word.

And I've been cursed with this always. That's why, even as a child I had a different point of view. If someone asked me if I did something, and I did, I just 'fessed up.

That's one reason why the majority of my childhood was spent "grounded". Oh yeah, while other kids were going to dances and hanging out at the mall, I was at home washing dishes and reading books. NOT by choice.

Anyway - it's a trait I've carried over to my adult life. I figure if I do it I might as well fess up. Simple as that. Oh, I won't tell you unless you ask, but if you ask me point blank, you're gonna get the truth.

I'm just not a game player. One reason is that I hate it when people try to "play" me, so why would I do that to others? I do not have the ability to keep up with what I told who, either. Everyone gets the same story - the truth. Period. Otherwise, you're lookin' at disaster.

One thing I don't do well is take shit from people. It's kind of funny, being in sales you would think I'm a pretty good ass kisser. No. No I am not. First, I have no respect for titles. Everyone puts their pants on the same way, I'll show respect for the person, not the title. Not until it's earned.

I also do not take it well at all if I am talked down to or treated as "less than" simply because of what I do. For example, I may be in sales, but that doesn't make me a cheat or a liar. You treat me like that and I'll push back. That is not a threat. That is a promise.

It's really a very big mistake to under estimate me. Really. Big. Huge. I'm nice until I just can't be nice anymore. Than, well, let's just leave it at that. It's my nature and I make no apology for it.

Reading of my friend's torturous times with Customer Service I know very well how frustrated he is. But I disagree with the phrase "the customer is always right". No. No they are not. In fact, they seldom are. I know my product and my company better than my customer does. And if they want to be that way I DON'T want to do business with them. Period. I've walked away from deals and made sure people have known that was the reason. And guess what? They have come back. I have a product they need/want. If they can't conduct business in a reasonable fashion I don't need them. And I've said that to some pretty big players.

And I can do that without being nasty or rude. Often times it's done with just a look, a shrug. That can curtail the situation and get everyone settled back down. If that doesn't work? I walk away.

Subtle I can do. Suck-up? Not so much.

So - if you want to be treated special....if you want to feel like no one knows as much as you, or knows it as well as you....if you want to believe you are always right and that fact gives you the right to act like an ass.....yeah, you don't want to do business with me. BUT, if you can conduct yourself in a reasonable manner, think rationally and remember this is BUSINESS we'll get along just fine. I'm just sayin.........

Morphing

Yesterday was the PERFECT fall day. High was the low 70's, sunny with just a hint of a breeze. The leaves are turning and color is everywhere. As I sat in The Belfry the sound of motorcycles goin' up and down the highway through town was a constant rumble.

I, of course, had to drag my ass to the laundrymat. No rest for the wicked, as they say. So I load up the car and head to the next town over.

As I was carryin' everything back up to the apartment I noticed I had a few visitors. Really big flying visitors that like to sting. Wasps. More than just a couple of them and they were hanging around my door. Not good. Not good at all.

I checked where they had been building a nest earlier this year, but nothing there. I don't know where these sons o bitches are comin' from but I'm gonna need for them to leave. I have no time for any allergy, stingin', goin' to the hospital stuff right now.

In talking with Laughing Wolf later I told him I really needed for it to freeze and soon. Kill them suckers off.

After a pause he chuckled. "You do realize your starting to think like a northerner, don't you?"

Nooo! Nooo!! I cannot be morphin' in to some damned yankee! It's not possible!!!

On a high note he did mention they are calling for a hard freeze this week with possible snow.

And I'm ok with that. Got my coats. Got my boots. Got my sweaters. Bring it on!

**Yes, this really is Tammi's World, you did not get redirected....

Courage and Forgiveness

I wasn't going to do anymore posting on the Amish School Shooting. I figure I've shared what I can about who They are (from my perspective) and anything else that is said is just so much hot air.

But last night kind of changed that. While having a conversation with Cuz I ran across this over at Florida Cracker. I followed the link to the story and started reading. I got half way through and the tears were pouring.

Not just for the tragedy, which it is. No, as I read the list the names popped out at me.

Stoltzfus, Ebersole, Miller. All names of my family. All names of the only past I know.

My Aunts, my Uncles. My cousins and their children. My classmates at Goshen College. My past.

And to read of the courage shown. Little Marian Fisher asking to be shot first, in the hope of saving the others. Her little sister, Barbie, asking to be second. 13 and 11 years old. That's more courage than I've seen in most adults. That's more courage than I think I have.

I mentioned in my Amish 101 post, the crux of the Amish faith is forgiveness. I can hear them in their prayer services and homes discussing how important it is to forgive this man. This man that many had had in their homes, this man that was a part of their community. How this is an opportunity for their faith to shine. The chance to show the world that God's love and forgiveness over comes everything.

Even being as close as I am, I am amazed at what I've read. What I've heard. And, as much as it goes against all that these amazing people stand for, I'm proud. I'm so proud of all they are and the lessons they are teaching by just being who they are. By living their faith.

And it makes me wonder. Am I living up to the incredible heritage they have passed on?

The surface was like glass...

I've made no secret of my love of the water. Especially sailing. There is nothing on earth that I've ever experienced that offers that same feeling. And my favorite time to sail, hell, my favorite time on the water is when the surface is smooth as glass, glittering like gems in the sunshine.

Yesterday, during a conversation with a very close friend, I received the nicest compliment that I have ever received.

They told me that I was just so calm.

Calm.

Gotta tell you, no one has ever used that word to describe me. At first I thought they were just bein' nice, tryin' to perk up my spirits a bit. But then I realized....I really am.

Yeah, I know I've shared with you that this past week things in my professional life have been pretty darn good. Oh, I've a few issues there - but nothing I can't handle. And I'm handling them a bit different than I would traditionally.

Personally? Yeah, there's a few things going on, but once again it's nothing I can't deal with. Hell - no life, no where is perfect. But I'm working through it and, again dealing with things differently that I would have before.

Calm. When I hear that I picture the smooth fluid surface of the Gulf. Occassionaly broken or disturbed but always settling back into that peaceful, tranquil surface.

Calm.

I like that. It feels good.

Self Realization

I'm just chillin' tonite. Putterin' around and watchin' a movie.

All of a sudden one of those "moments of self truth" hit me square between the eyes.

I am the female version of Forrest Gump.

I think I might just need a drink.........

Good Times

So I mentioned Mama Vi's birthday is coming up the end of the month. She'll be 75. For her 70th I managed to throw a surprise party (within our family reunion) where the entire family was there. She is the oldest living child right now, and has always been the matriarcal figure in the family. All the brothers and sisters had a chance to tell stories - funny, sad, moving....and the grandchildren had the opportunity to let her know just how important she is to our family. It rocked!!

This year, the reunion is next weekend and there are few that will be able to attend (me being one of them) so I asked Mama how she wanted to celebrate.

With no hesitation she stated she wanted a family dinner. OUR family.

Ok - that's what you want, that's what I'll give you. But I wanted it to be stress free and fun. Since it's a haul to my place me cooking is out. So - I decided we'll go where ever she wants to go - my treat. She picked Red Lobster. Ok - it's her day, it's whatever she wants.

I called my sister and made sure she reserved the date. Then I called my neices and nephew to make sure they knew about it and made plans to attend. I stressed, that since no one is in a serious relationship this is JUST FAMILY.

I also promised that my sister and I would refrain completely from arguing. In fact, in talking with her the other day I gave her a list of topics that are taboo.

I want happy people at this dinner. Period. It's Mama Vi's day and I will not tolerate any issues. None. Nada.

So - I'm making plans to leave work a bit early that weekend, just so I miss the worst of the traffic. Not loving the idea of driving Maggie May that far, but hey - a daughters gotta do what a daughters gotta do. It's a special occasion and I'm not gonna ruin it.

But ohhh, can I tell you how nervous I am about this whole family dinner thing? As much as I love them - ours? Yeah, not usually so good. Maybe we'll all get struck with laryngitis and we'll be forced to communicate with sign language.

On second thought, that probably wouldn't be so good either........

Saturday Question

On Saturdays I'll try to come up with some "out there" question that just makes you stop and think about something not so important. Think of it as a mini vacation. If you have any ideas drop me a line and we'll throw it in here. Who knows, it might be fun.

OK - Here goes: In case you haven't noticed, it's Fall!! I've always been just as excited about this time of year, even when I lived in Florida. I made sure I could get home annually right around this time of year and at least get a short glimpse of the fall colors. So I was wondering, what is the one thing, JUST ONE THING, that you enjoy most about fall.

My gut reaction was to say the colors. And those crisp cool temperatures. But as I got home last night, after being gone all week my landlady was burning leaves. You see it's Open Burn here in THE Valley right now. After carryin' all my stuff up and getting into comfy clothes, I curled up on the bed with a book and a movie (and a good glass of wine) and then I knew. I knew exactly what I love about fall. The smell of burning leaves.

That one scent pulls so many memories - fall days of raking leaves and then the cook outs that followed, hiking, scary stories told at night. Family, friends and great times. So yeah, I guess if I could only choose ONE THING that I loved best about fall it's that. The smell of burning leaves. What about you???

I'm in the Mood for.....

WooHoo!! It's Friday! AND We're done around 1:00 or so! I cannot begin to tell you how happy that makes me! It's the weekend and I am NOT exhausted!

So this afternoon I'll stop on my way home and do a little tannin', then run to the bank to cash a check and hit the grocery store. I have some projects at home I really need to get done and I just have hadn't the energy.

I think (knock on wood) that I'm starting to find the balance in all this. Now that the meeting is over for this year, I won't be working until 9:00 or so. Most of what I have to do is review and improve. A few analysis thrown in and that'll be my day to day. Of course there's still all the travel, but there's a few changes there also.

You see, the most important thing that came out of this week is that I've proven myself. I've gotten a lot of crap for not being overly aggressive. For not pushin' my way into the limelight. I won't play that game. I'm pretty confident that I can do the job I was hired for. I don't need to push anyone out of the way to prove that. Also, I'm comfortable in my own professional skin. I've been to this rodeo a time or two and know how to ride that horse. In order to earn respect it's got to be more than words. If you can't walk the walk then, well, it's nothing but a lot of hot air.

The meetings yesterday went exactly the way I wanted them to. The results will be seen soon. The majority of my reps have finally taken their blinders off and we're gonna be opening some new accounts. Accounts they knew were there but didn't think our product would sell in.

The boss said he wanted new and diversified distribution. Well Dude - here it comes.

Anyway, it all boils down to the fact that it's Friday and I feel pretty good. I'm thinkin' a pot-o-somethin' and maybe a pie. I'm in the mood for pie.

Finished!!

Ok - I'm gonna have to tell you, and it's going to sound very bad, but I'm gonna say it anyway.

I flippin' NAILED it today! Seriously. To the point that people were coming over when I was on the phone to tell me how much they enjoyed my presentation.

AND - since we got done early we moved my stuff from tomorrow morning to this afternoon and THAT WENT GREAT TOO!!

I had time for individual meetings with those that needed to talk with me, they accepted my programs no problem and if you could have heard the creative ideas that were flowing in that room in the after meeting discussions!!

It went well. It went really well. I am soooo doing the right thing for me. I'm in the right place. Oh how I love managing sales reps. Next to training it is the bestest thing in the world for me to do.

So - I'm done for this meeting now. I can sit back and enjoy. Oh - next couple of weeks I have a ton of shit to get done, but right now? I'm going to have a nice dinner and a few drinks with my reps. Then get a good nights sleep and tomorrow is an early quit. As far as I'm concerned my weekend starts now!

Oh, and in case you were wondering.....I used the A Team for this meeting - however, we're going to pull together my favorite of your suggestions along with logo's I'm designing and I'm going to let the team choose our new name. Oh - AW? Yeah, let DH know that Sticker Bitches didn't really go over so well. Oh, they laughed, but yeah - that one got voted out early!!!!!

Hooked!

I've mentioned a time or two how much I enjoy Sgt. Hook's blog. He's been a daily read for me since he started blogging.

Now - he's approaching that 500,000 hit mark and I would really appreciate it if the referral came from Tammi's World. I think it would be really cool.

So - click over there and do us both a favor. PLUS - there's something in it for you. Some GREAT posts. Music, stories of our Soldiers, antics of some wonderful pirates......just some all around great stuff.

Seriously, this is what I'm gonna need for you to do......CLICK!!!

Show Time

Despite weather issues most of my reps were able to make it in yesterday. One actually sent an email to cancel, sticking us with a plane ticket, room and meals. Yeah, I'll be dealing with that later. And it's sad - cause this was one of them I really needed to meet with.

Anyway - my team is pretty much intact and we had a wonderful dinner at Ruth's Chris Steak House. Can I just tell you how much I love their steaks? Anyway - my boss joined us along with two gentlemen from England.

Now, I'm going to be honest with you. I'm not the greatest at social situations. Oh, I can fake it, especially if it's Business Social, like last evening was. But it's been a while since I've HAD to do that and a long long while since it was MY party.

But as people started to arrive it amazed me how I knew them without having met them. (kinda like bloggers but different) And you know what? THEY were more nervous than I was. Huh. I never expected that.

And then, during cocktails I realized some of them were actually attempting to suck up to me. ME! Tammi. Isn't that a hoot?!?!?!

Of course business was discussed during the meal and I took the opportunity to introduce a few of my new plans. Surprisingly enough, no one really had a problem with it. Oh, I've got one who doesn't realize yet that I'm very serious about the changes I'm making, but she and I already have a meeting scheduled for a nice little one on one later today.

The funny thing was one of the Reps that doesn't report to me actually told one of my guys that she's jealous. She wants to work for me! Now THAT was very nice to overhear!!

So - last night went well. Today is the big, day long dog and pony show. My presentation is ready. Finalized. Done. The awards that I ordered for the three sales assistants came in yesterday (too close for my comfort) and they turned out really well. My topic for the day is new business, and man do I have some ideas. Should be interesting to see how it's received.

Anyway - wish me luck. The curtain goes up at 7:30. And I actually think I'm ready for my close-up.

You Thought I Was Kidding....

I know I'm going to regret posting this, but it's just gotten to the point of being idiotic. Actually - it's gone beyond that.

I set my coffee the night before. My habit has always been to wash/clean the pot and make everything up while I'm doing my dishes from dinner. Set the pot and I'm done. Well, I haven't been cooking dinner or even really eating at home. So - just before I go to bed I do the coffee thing.

Got up Thursday morning, pot-o-coffee at the ready and pour me a nice cup. Hmmmm tasted off. I had just bought some Costa Rican beans and those are usually really yummy. Hmmmmm

Got up Friday, finished the pot. Still kinda off. So that told me it wasn't just my mood the day before.

Saturday morning I tore everything apart to clean and make my weekend treat. Well shit. Seems that when I made the coffee Wednesday night I kinda forgot something important. Like dumping the old grounds out. The grinder and such were so gummed up from trying to force 24 cups worth of coffee grounds into a 12 cup basket. Damn.

Damn damn damn.

Got the pot ready Sunday night for Monday. Heard the grinder go off at exactly 10 minutes to 5 Monday morning. Hmmm that coffee smells good. Wait! I shouldn't be able to smell the coffee from here!!!

Run out to the kitchen (no graceful feat for me first thing in the morning) to discover I had forgotten to put the pot back under the basket. LOVELY. Coffee everywhere. I did manage to grab a cup that was still trying to find someplace to go when it left the basket.

So I had to clean that up at 5:45am. Yeah, and the sucky part is I had no one to blame but myself!!!

Tuesday morning? Same flippin' thing. I forgot the damned pot AGAIN!!!!

I got up 4 times during the night last night to make sure I had everything right. I took the basket out, to make sure it was empty. Checked to make sure I added water. Looked to see that there were actually beans in the grinder. AND most important of all, that the pot was where it belonged.

You thought I was kidding when I said I needed a keeper. Seriously - this is just stupid!!!!

Oh, and before you even ask - yes, I did remember to pack my underwear for my little trip. So there!

Day 1

Wow.

Now, I promise I will not do a day by day on this. Honest. But I figured I should at least share how the first day went with me and my new meds.

Wow.

I did exactly like the instructions....instructed. I had my breakfast - small berry yogart and a cereal bar and then took the little pill. Then I drank 16 oz of water.

Within an hour it was like I was looking through a tunnel. Holy Shit. I told one of the girls if I show up in dredlocks and wearing ty-dy shoot me where I stand.

But I adjusted to that. It's been a while (cough) but I managed to remember how to fake my way through that "hazy feeling".

Next thing I noticed, while drinking my 3rd 16oz glass of water, was the metal taste in my mouth. Seriously, it was like I was chewing on an aluminum can. Blech.

Lunch time came and I realized I wasn't hungry. Ohhh - that one I can live with. So I got myself a bowl of soup and moved on through the day.

I noticed I had no urge to snack. Woohoo.
I peed like a race horse (all that damned water!)
The foggy feeling started to disapate around 3 or 4.

Now I have 2 more days of taking 1 pill a day. Then.....we double to dosage.

The weird thing is I was told that when I started this program to smoke when I wanted. Just pick a quit date, but smoke normally up until that day. So I did. But I still didn't smoke like I used to. This parring down must have helped, even just a little.

So my quit date is next Tuesday. Tuesday October 10th.

Anyway - that was the first day. It could get real interesting this weekend when I double the dosage!!

Temper Temper

Oops - I kinda lost my temper.

You see it's my tv. I'm not loving cable. Seriously. I can't really enjoy football season this year as I can't get my favorite teams. It's not cables fault. They just don't offer shit. But football aside, I'm still really missing my DirecTV.

Sunday night my cable starting going wonky on me. Only allowing me one channel. And that one channel was bogus. I don't get home from work in time to call and talk to someone, and my days have been too hectic to sit on hold.

So - for the 2nd night in a row, I was screwed. And I'm payin' for this and that really burns me. And did I mention it's both cable boxes?!

I did all the trouble shooting things they walk you through. Nothing. I've got internet so it's not a complete wash.

I go to their website looking for an "after hours" number. Yeah, there is none. But look! I can send an email.

And I did.

It wasn't very nice.

I may never see tv again.

Damn - I probably should have stepped away from the keyboard before I hit "send".....

Got Any Ideas??

Ok folks - I fully admit.....I am stumped.

I'm finishing up my books for my reps and need some "creative guidance". That would be where you come in.

Let me give you some background.

My company has 15 Independent Sales Reps that work for us. 1 is international and he reports directly to the VP. 1 handles the "big boys" and stays with whom ever is running those accounts. 1 handles the other "big boys" and reports to our National Account Director. 1 works closely with another sales manager on a certain account. That leaves 11.

They belong to me.

Now they all work on their own - hence the term Independent Rep. Duh (sorry). My job is to motiviate and bring them together as a team. Well, that and get them to sell a hell of a lot more product, but that goes without saying.

I'm good at the motivating, I can build a team - what I can't do right now is think of a "name" for this team. I'm not a hoocky kinda gal. And I just hate those stupid games so many companies play. BUT - I've got to get them to start thinking of working together. Without that, my plans for next year might as well be a pile of horse shit.

For the books that I'm putting together for this meeting I need a cover page. On that cover page I'd like to introduce our name and logo. The logo will then go on the hats I'll order for them, the shirts, the pens - you get the idea. So I want something that a grown man wouldn't be embarrassed to explain about if he gets asked.

My only idea right now is The A Team. But that just leads me to that stupid line "I pity the fool..." and while I can finish that one easy, it's a little more negative than I'm looking for.

So - got any ideas? For a name, you can throw a catch line in to if you want and hell - I'll even take suggestions on a logo. I'm kicking myself that I didn't think about needing this until tonite. Thank Gott most of the work is already done. I can throw this together in a flash.

But first - I need ideas.......

I'll make it worth your while.......

UPDATED: 5:00am 10/4/06: Got some great suggestions but there's still time. We have until noon central time today. Thanks!!!!

Help Wanted

I've been talking about this National Sales Meeting for weeks now.

My presentation has been tweaked. My books will be ready to print out this afternoon. Tomorrow I'll burn the CDs for the reps.

As I sit here getting ready to leave for work I realized something.

It starts tomorrow.

I haven't even begun to pack. Not the first thing. I'll have about 2 hours tonite to pull everything together.

Now, I know I know, this time I'm not flying anywhere, but still....I've got dinners every night, sessions every day. I'll be away from home for 3 days so I have things to "tidy up" here.

I swear, every day just seems to fly by. The evenings are gone in a blink. My weekends are spent napping and wishing I could catch up with folks.

Ok - enough whining. It is what it is. But damn - I think I need a keeper. Seriously......

I'm Medicated

Ok. I stopped last night and finally picked up my medication to stop smoking.

It's called Chantix and it's only been on the market for a month or so.

Huh. Not sure how I feel about that.

Side effects are weird(er) dreams, nausea and vomiting. They mention a few other things but these are the ones that caught my attention.

I asked the pharmasist about this stuff. It's so new he doesn't know much at all. First perscription this store has sold of it.

Lovely. Just call me Ginny. Ginny Pig.

From what I understand somehow, something in this drug get's into my brain and takes away the "joy" of smoking. They tell me after a week when I have a cigarette I will no longer enjoy it.

I'll be on this stuff for at least 3 months.

Let's think about that for a moment. 3 months. Mind altering drug. No joy. Nausea. Weird dreams.

And I'm paying $100 a month (after insurance) for this stuff!!

If THAT doesn't tell you how badly I want to stop smoking NOTHING will!!!

But on the upside, there may just be some blogfodder here somewhere......

Amish 101

Yesterday's incident in Lancaster has really kicked me in the gut. Mama Vi is beside herself. Unfortunately I did not get hold of her before she saw it on the news.

Any time there is something like this - can you believe we can actually SAY that? - it is sickening. Mind blowing. Who would do something like this? Why? My mind cannot grasp it. Not at all.

But this one? This one is just way to close to home for me. In case you've just recently started reading here let me fill you in. My mama was raised Amish. It's our families religion. Me? I am not. I'm not Amish. I'm not Mennonite (although I was for a time). No - I'm just Tammi. My beliefs are my own. Period.

What I'd like to do is draw back the curtain a bit and show you a small glimpse into the Amish faith and how they will most likely deal with all this.

I'll put the rest in the extended entry - just in case this is not something that interests you. (Plus, I can tell - this is gonna be one very long post!)

First it's important to know - right off the bat - I am not condoning nor am I condeming the Amish faith. It is what it is. Has been since the 1500's. It's not up for debate. No matter how much you disagree with their beliefs this is NOT what this post is about. It's about understanding. Period.

Also, as I stated I am NOT Amish. I am not going to use this post to point out any issues (and there are plenty) that I have with their faith. If I believed as they do - I'd be in my little cape dress and covering workin' out in the field bein' submissive to my man. No. Not me. I'm just sayin'....

The Amish are Pacifists. They believe in turning the other cheek. They are self sufficient with in their community. Forgiveness is KEY to their beliefs. God forgives us, we forgive those who wrong us.

Many of us believe that we have done a decent job of sheltering our children. Well, no one does it like the Amish. No TV. No radio. Books are closely screened. At a young age, all of their social life involves the church. Church and Family. Violence has no presence in their lives. There's no cops and robbers. There's no cowboys and indians. They don't own guns, so to have one shoved in your face is something they would never have even THOUGHT of. The life of an Amish child is full of chores, prayer, bible study, music and family. Period.

They take care of their own. No need for insurance. No real need for a bank, most of the time. The church is their family. They take care of their own.

Let's talk a bit about yesterday. On the news I heard the one newscaster mention "there is little if any security in one of these schools". Ok - 1 room school house for Amish kids. Security is the last thing they would think of. PLUS - What kind of security? A man standing at the door with a pitchfork? Cause that's about all I can think of. No electric. No weapons. No security. And that won't change.

Why did the teacher leave those girls? Well, the teachers were either pregnant or had their small infant children with them. Plus, they are taught to be submissive. You DON'T FIGHT BACK. Period. A man storms in, with a shotgun and a hand gun and orders them out. You DON'T FIGHT BACK. I'm sure they are tryin' to deal with the decision they made, but I can't see what other choice they had. They do not know how to fight. They do not know self defense. That won't change either.

In talking with Mama Vi I told her I was glad the bastard was dead. I hope the devil was roasting his soul.

Mama told me to remember that God loved even him, for some reason. I need to remember that and pray for his soul.

I cannot.

But folks - that is how they think. Honestly. They will pray and pray and pray for this sick, tormented being. It is how they believe. I am sure that community, at least those whose daughters are not still in the hospital, are all at homes, in church praying right now. Praying for understanding. Praying for peace. Praying for the soul of that monster that tore their community apart. Because they need to forgive him. That's a cornerstone to their faith. "Forgive as you shall be forgiven" - I don't know which passage this is and I can't find my bible right now, but I know this one. It's been burned into my mind. Since childhood.

When that man took his own life he deprived them of their form of justice. Their right to forgive. Many of us would want the right to "Do unto others as they have done unto us" (paraphrase) and I'm right there at the front of that line. But remember - "turn the other cheek". The fact that it is no longer possible to look this man in the eye and forgive him, this man who was actually a part of their community, had been to many of the farms, this will really be a stumbling block for many peoples faith. And it will cause them great sorrow - that they were denied to opportunity to forgive. THAT is their version of closure.

So as you watch the news and see this community mourn, please keep in mind - they may dress different, they may talk different but they hurt just like the rest of us. They just deal with things differently. But that doesn't change the fact that their daughters were ripped from their lives in a way that most of them could have never ever imagined.

You won't see them on Oprah or Larry King. I'm sure they didn't even realize how many photos there were being taken of them. They will draw together - from across this country - to get through this. Their sorrow is private. Their healing is private. Their faith? Speaks for itself.

Amish School Shooting - Update

Three words I never in my life thought I would put in the same sentence.

But this morning, according to what I have been able to find on line, an adult male walked in to one room Amish School House and started shooting.

This occured in Lancaster County Pennsylvania.

My family is located in Indiana and Lancaster - the traditional Amish part of the family.

Of course, communication is victorian, details are sketchy.

Any news of school shootings distresses me, any time I hear of children being the victims my blood boils. But this? This strikes so close to home.

And as unchristian as it sounds, I'm glad the shooter is reported dead. Let the devil deal with him. now.

"Suffer the little children unto me, for of such is the kingdom of heaven." Mark 10:14 (paraphrased)

UPDATE 3:30pm ct: I've been keeping an eye on this all afternoon. I cannot begin to tell you the absolute HORROR these children had to endure.

Here is the updated story from MSN. But let me tell you what they know so far:

**Gunman was NOT Amish. He was a truckdriver who walked into this small, one room school house with a shotgun and a hand gun.

**He released all the boys and women with infants as well as a pregnant woman.

**He lined the girls up along the chalkboard, their feet bound.

**Three girls are dead, killed "execution style", the wounded include 3 girls (all critical) between the ages of 6 & 12.

**The why? Well, according to what he told his wife it was to avenge something that happened 20 years ago.

I'm unable to write all that is building up right now. But you can bet I have a bit to say about all this, as well as what I've seen of the media coverage. I'll be doing that when I get home tonite.

Surreal

I left the house a bit late. Not too bad, but given traffic and road construction, later than I should.

But you know what? Traffic was very light this morning. VERY light. And the road construction? Not so bad at all.

I made great time.

I was half afriad it was a holiday and I didn't realize it.

I get to the office and the lot is half empty. Huh. Seriously, did I forget something????

Then I get into my office, see folks around and feel great relief. Gotta tell you - wouldn't be so happy if I had made that drive for nothing!

Plug my laptop into the docking station, turn on all the lights and get my coffee cup and make the first run for coffee. Only to discover the coffee pot is broken. Down. Not functioning. Nada.

All I have is decaffinated raspberry tea.

Seriously, is this one of those "hidden camera" shows? It's all very surreal.

And on a Monday to boot. It is Monday? Right?????

Just So You Know

7 cigarettes. Seven. In one day.

And that's being home all day.

Without medication yet.

Today's goal? 5.

One this morning. One after each meal. One tonite.

You may want to step away from the computer screen. Until I get the meds. it might get a little testy around here. :-)

Pride and Gratitude

Val Prieto, of Bablu Blog recently visited Washington DC.

I cannot begin to describe how beautiful this post is - sharing what he saw, how he felt, the people he met.

I wish that everyone could read this one post and understand how very blessed we are to live in these United States of America.

Thank you Val - for reminding me.

The More Things Change

I was thinking the other day about how times, they are a changin'.

I remember a day when a woman would NEVER admit to coloring her hair. Now? Yeah, some folks don't even worry about it looking natural. I've never hidden the fact that I color my hair. I am actually proud of myself for admitting my natural color looks like crap with my skin tone.

Another thing that women kept secret were their fake nails. You never wanted to admit that those beautiful works of art weren't natural. It's almost like it made you less of a woman! Baaa. I think that's a bunch of horse hockey.

And tanning. There have been tanning booths around since, well at least since I was in college. And you'd pay hell to get a girl to admit she paid for that tan. (Like there was any other explaination for a deep tan in January in Northern Indiana.) Now buyin' a tan is one thing I have never ever ever done. Didn't need to. Actually - I have permanent tan lines. You think I'm kidding? Nope. They are there. I promise. BUT - with this wedding coming up and being back in Florida again, for however short a time, I thought it might be a good idea to get a bit of color on these cheeks (and you can take that anyway you want to).

So - for the first time in my life I am going to a tanning salon. And I have to say, it's nice. For 12 minutes I almost feel like I'm "home". It's nice to see some color, I feel a bit more like myself. In fact, I may just keep this up. It's good for my morale.

But ohhhhh it's not something I like to admit. THAT one I'm kinda old fashioned about. Hell, next thing you know I'll be talkin' about plastic surgery!

I'm Being Held Hostage

Yipee. (not)

I just left the house for the first time today. Went down to the diner for breakfast and then out to the storage unit to get my winter things.

Oh. My. Goodness.

My door (and as it happens the entire side of the apartment) is covered in box elder bugs. COVERED.

I can't get in or out without letting the suckers in the house. And they flippin' swarm when I open the screen door.

I blame THIS GUY!!

Didn't see a single one til he posted that damned bug story of his. Now? EVERY WHERE!!!!

So - I'm going to try and make my escape for the afternoon. Maybe I'll stop by the hardware store to see if they have anything to get rid of these damned bugs!!!!!! This is worse than when I lived in Florida!! Guess I'll have to start sleeping with my earmuffs on.....

A Little Music

Well, it's Sunday and I'm sitting here getting some things done with music playin' in the background. I don't get to do that very often, so it's a real treat.

I thought I'd share with you one of my favorite love songs ever in life. Now, the video doesn't do much for me, but I love this guys version of this song. Yes - it's mushy but it's supposed to be. It's a love song for cryin' out loud.

So without further ado, I share with you - When You Say Nothing at All by Ronan Keating

Best laid plans......

Well, yesterday didn't work out so well, can I just tell ya?

Oh, it started out just fine. Got to the hair salon, mission accomplished. I no longer have frizzy yicky hair. AND I found a new shampoo - ladies, I'm not kidding. Cashmere by Regis is incredible. Makes your hair feel like silk and has a fragrence that lasts and lasts. Its my new favorite thing.

Anyway - took care of that stuff and then headed to the eye doctor. That would be when I realized I was getting a headache. Popped some Ibu and figured that would take care of it. After the exam and ordering the new glasses I headed out to the boot sale at Macy's.

Oh yeah. Got some gorgeous boots for work. I have to wear heels with most of my work pants now and these have style AND are very comfortable. Not to mention - they were on sale!

By that point I could not see out of my right eye. The pain was blinding.

Managed to get home and make my way to bed. I haven't had a headache like this in almost a year. ANY time pain keeps me in bed for an afternoon it's not a good thing.

So today I have to try and get everything I didn't get done yesterday done. But at least the headache is gone.

Blogging Question

OK - I've looked and looked and don't see what I'm looking for.

So - I'll simply ask the experts.

Does anyone out there know if it is possible to ban an IP from your site if you are on blogspot?

I have a friend who is having some issues and I really really really don't want her to stop blogging. Can ya help?????