Tammi's World

The Hard Part

Damnit.

Just flippin' damnit.

Just got home from another great evening. Dinner with LeeAnn, her DH and T1G - what a way to spend my last night here.

But there was one problem. I had to say good-bye. Again.

I really don't understand it. I know before I head down here that I'm going back. I have a job I love. A job that is so rewarding. I have responsibilites up there. But when I landed in Tampa early Saturday morning I told Cuz it was just all wrong. I can't tell you how many times I've landed in that airport and she's picked me up. And brought me home. But even as I got my luggage I was thinking - this is wrong. I shouldn't be thinking about leaving already. But I was.

Last night saying goodbye to Joyce was hard. We were a part of each other's every day. Every day we spent time together. Every single day for years. Hearing her say she missed me was hard. Oh, it was nice to hear. We all need to know that the people we care about miss us, think about us, wonder how we are. But - damnit. Just damnit.

Tonite was all about great food, good wine and the best company. Honest. Never a moment of silence, just stories and laughter.

But leaving kicked my ass. Royally. I'll admit it. I cried from the moment I got onto 275. All the way across the Sunshine Skyway. I hate the good-byes. Just flat out hate them.

I know it's only for a while. I know that with real friends distance makes no difference. But it sure is nice to sit around a table, watch their eyes sparkle with mischief and hear the sound of their laughter. NOTHING on earth replaces a real live hug. NOTHING.

So tonite I'm hunkerin' down on the couch. And I'll pout for a bit. The tomorrow - I"ll get up, make my call, pack my bags and fly north. All the while carryin' the picture of those smiles, the sound of that laughter and the feel of those hugs with me. It's gotta last a while. I'm going to cherish it.

Posted by Tammi at October 24, 2006 10:32 PM | TrackBack