Tammi's World

Funny Email

Got this email today. You may have seen this - but some of these were new to me. I thought we could all use a laugh!!

NEW DRUGS FOR WOMEN
DAMNITOL
Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours.

EMPTYNESTROGEN
Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding you of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out.

ST. MOMMA'S WORT
Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to two days.

PEPTOBIMBO
Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and prevents conception. (LOL)

DUMBEROL
When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks. (HA!!! And no - I've never taken it!)

FLIPITOR
Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers. (I need to find this!)

MENICILLIN
Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to such lethal lines as, "You make me want to be a better person. " (Hell, I should have been a test paitent for THIS one!)

BUYAGRA
Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping Increases potency, duration, and credit limit of spending spree. (LOL)

JACKASSPIRIN
Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary, phone number, or to lift the toilet seat.

ANTI-TALKSIDENT
A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers in elevators.

NAGAMENT
When administered to a boyfriend or husband, provides the same irritation level as nagging him.

Posted by Tammi at October 11, 2006 12:28 PM | TrackBack