Tammi's World

Rough Road

My friend's daughter tried to kill herself the other day. She is alright physically now, but they have a very long road in front of them - and it just breaks my heart.

You hear of more and more teenage suicides. Many of us will wonder "what could possibly be so bad at that age to take your own life?"

Well, a lot as it happens.

Pressure starts early any more. Peer pressure like we never knew growing up. Pressure to succeed. Better grades, more impressive class load, a major that everyone is awed by. Finding the right partner. Hell, just finding a partner. Living up to all of the expectations heaped on you. And say what you want - we all have expectations of those we love. ALL of us. And trust me, they know it. Whether we talk about it or not. They know.

I spent quite a bit of time on the phone with my friend, listening to her just cry her way through the situation. Asking all the Why's. And I realized I was going to have to share something I do not talk about. One of my dark secrets.

Let me explain something first. I believe that when we go through horrible times it is so important to learn from them. And to use that experience to help someone else get through. You can tell me all you want that you understand but unless you walked this road - you have no idea. But if you have been here, I'll listen. You survived, you prospered. I'll listen.

Anyway as I heard my friend blamming herself more and more I knew I had to step in. I had to stop this train wreck if I could.

I admitted to her that I had attempted suicide twice back in my early 20's. I had spent 5 1/2 months in a psych ward. I was the same age her daughter is. I understand.

I then let her know that it wasn't her fault. What she will hear from her daughter is the blame game. Until she can come to terms with the pain that pushed her over the edge she will blame others. She will blame others that she knows will love her no matter what. Don't listen to those words right now. It's just the poison coming out.

But I made sure she knew that no matter what she HAD to make sure her daughter got the help she needed. DO NOT rush the treatment. And it's not a quick fix.

I went into that hospital an angry scared bitter girl. I hated everything about myself and my life. I left there still scared. But not so angry anymore. And with a realization that I'm not so bad. But that all took time. And work. And more time.

My heart is breaking for my friend and her family today. What they are going through is so very difficult. But the road ahead is even steeper. And the most important part is the recovery. Please - keep them in your thoughts and prayer.

Posted by Tammi at October 19, 2006 05:34 AM | TrackBack