Tammi's World

My First Pilates Workout

Holy Shit.

Ouch.

WTF am I doing???

That would have been what you would have heard if you had been here during my first Pilate's workout. But wait - I really should start at the beginning - so you get the whole picture.

I popped in the DVD and figured I probably ought to watch it through, segment by segment, before I actually try to do it. I thought it might help if I had an idea of what I was doing and what to expect.

So I plop myself down on the couch with a glass of water and a cigarette. I start up the DVD and it takes me to a beautiful beach setting. WooHoo!! I'm gonna like this.

They start with the abdominal workout. Watching I couldn't help but feel a little cocky - looks easy enough. Huh. Wonder if this will even really do any good. Finished the cigarette about the same time the segment ends. So I go back to the beginning, move the coffee table out of the way and get into position.

That would be where you would have heard the Holy Shit! Yeah - this stuff is harder than it looks.

Get through the first segment and just want to stop. But oh no.....I made myself a promise. I'm taking a little trip in March and I want to wear my favorite jeans. I MUST GO ON!!!!

So I sit back down on the couch and light another cigarette while studying the second segment. YIKES. Knowing now that it's not as easy as it looks I can see this is gonna be challenging.

Yeah - that would be the OUCH part. Finished that and, yep - you got it....sat back down on the couch for a little aqua and smokie. The next part? Yeah - if I were a guy I'd call it a ball buster. Instead lets just say - WTF am I doin'????!!!???!!

So - hence ends my first Pilate's workout. It's worth it. Right? I'm gonna look great. Right? Damn - I hope so......

Fantasy

Well - in my Jitters post below I mentioned it looked to be a rough day.

I was planning for the worst and hoping for...well, not the worst.

I got worse than the worst. I'm so tired and beaten down tonite I can't even begin to tell you - just trust me when I say...not a good day. Nope, not at all.

And the whole way home I had a little fantasy going. Simple one really - here, let me share. Honest it's safe for work.

I'd get home and there would be a drink poured. Dinner simmering on the stove/in the oven. I would get into comfy clothes and just snuggle down in my favorite corner of the couch. Dinner is brought to me - nothing fancy (I am after all, watching what I eat) and my drink refilled. After dinner - the dishes are clean!! (and my hands never hit the dish water!!!) I snuggle further down into the couch and watch a sweet, simple movie.

Damn - sometimes being single really REALLY sucks.

OK - time to go fix a bowl of soup and start a load of laundry. Ahh but the fantasy was so nice while it lasted........

Jitters

Havin' a hard time focusing this morning.

No...it's not cause I had a few beers last night - which I did.

No...it's not cause I over slept this morning - which I did.

No...it's not cause I had to actually try and MAKE the coffee this morning - which I did.

It's because I just don't want to go to work. I know, I know...whine whine whine. And NO - I don't want any cheese with that. What I want is for the job fairy to just flippin' call with the offer to end all offers so that I could just pack my box and go.

Well, that or for today to be over already. That would work too.

You'll have to excuse me - I'm just feelin' sorry for myself. I'm just plannin' for the worst and hopin' like hell for a happy medium.

I Met Him

He'll fit right in.

Damn - Redneck - We NEED you in the BE Clan. We gotta have SOMEBODY to blame every thing on. ;-)

I'm A Voucher

Wait. Did that come out right???

Anyway - I am here to vouch for Laughing Wolf!! Let 'im in Harv. He's a character, that's for sure.

Wait. I mean he has a character.

Umm. I mean his character is PERFECT for the Bad Example Clan.

Yeah. That.

Anyway - I'm vouchin' for him.

I Wanna Be....

A member of the Bad Example Clan because....

well - just because damnit!! I think I've earned it over the past couple of years.

I'm funny. Sort of. I can take kidding - as is evident from when my site was bet (and lost). I encourage other bloggers (hell - I got 5 girls and another on the way!)

I may not have big boobies but I got other qualities. Yeah - I got qualities. (I hope)

Anyway - if you don't know what I'm talking about head on over to the BlogFather's joint and read up. Then pop back on over here and help me with some ideas on why they should let me in the Clan!!!!!!

Warning: Work Rant Ahead

Sales people usually work off of commission - of one sort or another. I have a base and then get a percentage of any new items I sell. I get nothing for the reorders, just the new stuff and it's a one shot deal.

As I am salaried I have little opportunity to increase my monetary flow. THAT sucks. It's all about the commission. They did that on purpose, they want us to grow the business. No problem. Makes sense to me.

So......I got a new customer. Well, a new prospect. They are looking to place 21 NEW items. TWENTY ONE!! Starting out with three. WooHoo. The commission on those three alone would go a long way in getting me back to where I need to be. I was very excited. Very focused on making this happen. I really like the buyer and we hit it off GREAT. In fact - she is southern and actually used some of my own lines on me. I love that!! Yeah - this is gonna rock.

So I push and push to get the bids done. Now, please realize I have nothing to do with those. I have no say. I bring 'em in and pass 'em on. Then hound until I get them back. I needed these back really quick. Due to circumstances these had a very short lead time.

I get 'em back two days late but submitted them anyway. Did some fancy talking and managed to save face - but.....strike one.

So the buyer takes the bids to her management then comes back to me. We need NEW tooling (very expensive) please rebid. We did. But late. Strike two.

THEN she tells me the one part was priced way low. I should look at it again and rebid. THAT is unheard of. To pat myself on the back - it shows the relationship I was starting to build with her. Yeah Tammi!!

This is where it got ugly. We needed to submit the new price by Thursday. Today is Monday and I still don't have it. I got an email today saying don't bother. If that's our view of good customer service they'll go else where. Strike three.

Damn - that one hurt big time. Not just losing those three - but the other 18 opportunities.

And I am pissed. So pissed I almost walked out today. But I didn't. I need the paycheck. BUT - damn!!!!

The (almost) funny part is we had a sales meeting this afternoon where we got lectured on not bringing in enough new business. I didn't say anything but I was sittin' there all smug and shit. Yeah - that one bit me in the ass.

OK - I'm going out for dinner and a beer (or four). I've got a really tough call to make tomorrow - facing a customer that I believe is right (morally and business wise) and try and figure out a way to tell him he's wrong.

Some days it just pays to stay in bed......

This Should Be Interesting

I will be the first person to admit I am not grace personified. And I'll be the first person so that I beat y'all to the punch!! But seriously - it's actually kind of funny. You put me on a stage or a catwalk, or in front of a group of people teaching/training and I'm fine. I float, I glide. But normal everyday stuff. No, not so much.

I joked yesterday with T1G that I really do need to have my own cooking show. Not so much because I'm such a great cook - but for the comedic value. His comment? Yeah, he said it just needed to be followed by some kind of medical/ER show. Hahaha. Very funny dude! ;-)

But, alas, it is true. I like to think it's cause my mind is working double time, and I'm already ahead of where I'm going, what I'm doing. But to be honest? Yeah, I'm just not paying attention. But don't tell anyone. So far they're fallin' for my other answer.

That leads me to the fear regarding my next exploit. I'm starting Pilate's tomorrow. Oh - I'm doing them in the privacy of my own home (I'm not a complete idiot) but I'm still going to do it. I'm very disciplined that way. But it should be real interesting what kind of trouble I get in to. My living room is tiny. I.....am not. Oh, I'll move stuff out of the way - but with a reach like mine, there really isn't enough space to move them.

So if you don't hear from me for a while I'm probably passed out on my living room floor - or stuck in some weird position. Wish me luck!!!

WooHoo!!

It's Jackie O'Shea Week at Sgt. Hooks.

Head on over!!!!

Here's the latest installment. If you haven't been reading;

1) shame on you

2) he's got the links to all the past stories so you can get caught up.

Sunday - Wonderful Sunday

Another lazy Sunday morning here in Tammi's world. I woke late for me - 7ish. Started the coffee and turned on the damned TV. (I really do hate that I have one in my bedroom - but for now it helps me fall asleep.)

When the coffee was done I put it in the carafe and hunkered down in my bedplace to watch a movie and just relax. Talked to my cousin a bit and then just....lulled.

I was finally forced to get up (I ran out of cigarettes and THAT is all the motivation I needed to leave the house).

So I'm back in my comfy jeans and XXL shirt, barefoot and make-up less. Classical music is blaring on the XM radio, and I just finished a wonderful bowl of long cooking cinnamon oatmeal.

Smug doesn't begin to cover it.

I got a lot of cleaning done yesterday so today I can just do what I want. No schedule. I've got a gorgeous cut of London Broil marinating and a menu planned that would rock your socks.

It's rainy and gray outside - so I've lit some candles to brighten things up a bit. That - and they just smell so warm and cozy.

It's Sunday. Tomorrow doesn't matter. Next week doesn't exist. It's about today. It's about now. And right now - it's all good.

Saturday Question

I know it's been a while. The creative juices just weren't flowin' for the Saturday Questions. Then I started a post and realized it would be a great Saturday Question. So - without further ado.......

Every Saturday I'll try to come up with some "out there" question that just makes you stop and think about something not so important. Think of it as a mini vacation. If you have any ideas drop me a line and we'll throw it in here. Who knows, it might be fun.

OK - here we go......what is your favorite type of movie? Why?

I don't think it's any secret that I love sports. And I really enjoy sports movies. You know - Rudy, The Program, Brian' Song, Cool Runnings....well I could go on and on.

Right now I'm watching Hoosiers. This is on my top ten list - for sure.

And it made me think - why do I always seem to gravitate to these? Oh, I enjoy a good comedy, an action flick, suspense, hell even a romance or two as long as they are too far fetched. But I can't seem to pass up a sports movie. Hmmmmm.

Then it clicked. I love that Never Quit theme. I love that Under Dog Wins thread that goes through all of them. I admire the spirit of competition and perseverence. The lesson each one seems to teach.

I know it's hokey. I know it's pat. But I don't care. I guess it all goes to my faith in the human spirit. Even if it is just via a silly movie......

So tell me.....what's your favorite kind of movie? Why do you enjoy them so much?????

Throw Aways?

Now, before I get started let me just say I'm NOT depressed. Not at all. Just thoughtful. I had some windshield time the other day (extra as it seems I'm incapable of going anywhere and not getting lost) and that just gave me extra time to think. My evenings have been very quiet - more time in my head. So - add those things together and you get......thoughtful.

As a society it just seems we've lost our ability for long term commitment. I mean, look at my boss. He truly believes that his employees are disposable. Easily replaceable. Gone without a 2nd thought.

Think about the products we buy in the stores anymore. I own a disposable toilet brush, disposable wipes for mirrors, counters, polishing. And it's not just about convenience. It's not easy to remember to stock up on those damned things. The only thing they do is keep me from having to wash rags in the laundry as often.

And what about relationships? Is it just me, or do people just not take vows or promises to Love Honor and Cherish as seriously as they used to? Or even NOT take them at all - in many cases simply because they don't have too?

Friendships fall into that same category. I have news for you folks - if I call you friend - you're in. Period. When I let you into my "inner circle" that comes with my promise to care, support, help, and..yes, cherish. My friends are important to me. Their friendship is a gift that I CHERISH and with that comes a responsibility to be there. Not just in the happy dappy good times, but when it's dark and windy. When it hurts. Have you ever noticed how many people seem to walk away in those times? It makes me sick when I see that happen.

Maybe my family is right - I was just born 50 years to late. I'm the first to admit I'm an old fashioned kind of girl. Plain and simple. And sometimes I just want to stand up and yell - Hey! Folks!! Life is so much better if you just commit! And it is. There is something special about having a history. There is something so comforting about sharing a connection. That goes for people and things. I don't know about you but I have items in my house that, every time I look at them they bring a smile. They remind of a time, place or person. It's there - a connection. A history.

I get laughed at a lot because I have a story for everything. Everything in my house. I can tell you how I got it, when, and why. It's even worse for my Christmas decorations. It extends to my clothing. EVERYTHING has a history. Often times, when it's quiet, I think about those I love. I remember when and how I met them. I think about how much they mean to me. I wonder what I could possibly do to let them know how cherished they are.

It just seems that everything has just become so damned disposable. And that is sad. Oh, I appreciate convience as much as the next girl - but sometimes the easy way is just not the right way. Sometimes we need to keep in mind that old sayin' - anything worth having is worth working for. Sometimes the old fashioned way is just better.

It's Official

I am a sappy wussy girly girl.

I have over 107 posts that mention the word "HUG" in one form or another.

I guess if anything speaks to who and what I am that little fact does.

I'm a toucher. I'm a hugger. And the more I like you the more I do it. It can almost be embarrassing at times. I don't even realize I'm doing it. It's so much a part of who I am.

But to realize I've written about it so much - damn. I'm gonna need to get another hobby. THIS one could get me into some trouble!!!

I Know the REAL Story

So...I'm sure you've noticed that the posting has been a little light over at Drunken Wisdom lately.

Well - don't you worry folks. I got the scoop. T1G is fine, just really busy.

How do I know that? Well I'm glad you asked. You'd know too if you just paid attention to the news.

He's in Waco. Texas that is. Yeah, it was all over the news up here.

Priest Blesses Hooters.

(They almost got it right. Priest?!?! Well, you know the MSM - they're just soooo good at fact checkin'.)

I heard a rumor....

.....it's a very special day today.

It's someone's birthday!! Someone very special.

Blackfive was one of the first blogs I ever read. Hell - it's one of the first blogs I ever commented on.

Now - when I hear "Blackfive" I don't just think of the blog. I see my friend. I hear him laugh and tell stories. I've had the pleasure of meeting (and hugging) him. I've had the pleasure of hearing his stories in person and watching his face light up when he talks about his family.

Now - it's personal.

So Matt - Happy Happy Birthday. You do so very much for so many people - may today be all YOURS!! Spoil yourself and be spoiled by those that love you.

Today is our chance to celebrate YOU!!!!

Today

Today I really just want to stay home.

Today I am craving a pot of beef stew and cornbread.

Today I miss my cousin. Very much.

Today I feel all mushy inside.

Today I want to laugh.

Today I want a hug.

Today I want to come home and say "It was a good day".

Today I want to feel the sun on my face.

Today I want to read a good book.

Today I want to hear some good news.

Today..........

Today's Grocery List

1) Gravy

2) Diet Pills

Think THAT didn't garner some interesting looks in the check out line.......

Oh HELL No!

Wake up folks. It's flat out, time to wake up. The blogsphere, that wonderful world we share, is under attack. Again.

This time they are gunnin' for my buddy Bloodspite. And it's scary. Damned scary.

Here's whats going on. Back in November he put up a post about a "job opportunity" that he investigated. It was one in which you had to make an "investment" to participate. I've been to these things. And IN MY OPINION (statement made to keep me from being sued too) one should not pay to work. It's supposed to be the other way around. Hell - I don't even pay recruiters. Why in the hell would I pay someone for the opportunity to work for them and make them money?!?! Yeah, not gonna happen.

Anyway - he put the post up sayin' Don't Do It. Now - that company has contacted him and threatened to sue if he doesn't remove the post.

He had no choice. He took the post down.

Now - if he had written that same post as a Letter to the Editor nothing would have come of it. Instead it was written on a blog - that is privately owned - so they feel they can manipulate the situation.

Not good. Not good at all. I wish I had the money that I could give them to fight this. But, alas, we are just regular folks and don't have the time or the bankroll to hold out. But there are things, little things we can do. Laughing Wolf lists them out (and does a great job of saying what I'm thinking!)

We need to stand together. I can promise you - I will continue to post my opinions, thoughts and ideas here in Tammi's World. I will NOT be censured. Not by anyone.

What about you?

Batten Down The Hatches

It's gonna be a bumpy night.....

Wind wise that is. We have a wind advisory up here. I kinda had to giggle when I heard about it this morning. Gusts up to 40 mph. Ha. I laugh at that. Remember? I lived in Florida last year. I'll show YOU wind.

But....it's different sitting here in the Little Blue Cracker House. I got home from work a little early (don't ask, and yes - I'm still employed) and put in some cabbage/potatoes/carrots and onions in a roasting pan. Added a little beef broth and some seasonings and put those in to roast. Then I took a beautiful rump roast and brushed it with olive oil added more seasonings and lots o' fresh garlic and put that into roast. Going for Medium/Medium Rare this evening - accompanied by horseradish and some dinner rolls fresh from the oven.

I'll hunker down with that and (hopefully) a movie and list to the wind roar.

And it really is. Roaring that is. When those gusts hit, they shake my little sanctuary. Oh, not like Charlie or Frances - but shaken none the less.

So I'm thinkin' it'll be a quiet night. I just hope the roast turns out.......

Freaky

OK - I have the Vonage phone system - runs through my broadband. This morning I had a couple of silly problems while talking with my cousin. No big deal just silly.

Then - I'm trying to do a little reading and I lose my internet. Well - it's there but not reading to my PC. So I run all the diagnostics and....nothin'

I'm starting to panic. I tried my phone. Of course - nothin'. Hmmmmmm

I rebooted, redirected, resigned. Then I decided to reboot the phone cable.

Nothin'....nothin'.....nothin'......lights still blinkin' - not a good sign.

Then I tried the phone. Voila. It works. I try to access the internet - WooHoo. Nothing looks different. It just works now.

I'm gonna have to get a cell phone. Just in case this happens again. It just feels much more satisfying when you can bitch out the service people while you're actually frustrated and pissed off rather than after you've had a chance to calm down.

BIRTHDAYS!!!

Today is the birthday of two of my favorite people

TNT was born today. Just a few years ago. So - in honor of HER day here is a picture of a black panther. (I heard a rumor she loves the big cats!) Happy Birthday my friend!! Make it a great one!

It's also my beloved cousin/sister's birthday. S - I love ya darlin'. My life would be so much less without you. Your wisdom (and yes, I'm serious) your laughter (even when it's aimed at me) and most important your love and acceptance. Happy Birthday...and so much more!!!

Another "Tammi" Moment

I promise - I won't keep goin' on and on about this new mattress set - but this is so funny I had to share.

This morning was a bit "different" for me. Last night I set the coffee pot with ground coffee, not beans. So this morning instead of the sounds coffee grinder, alarm, coffee pot done (it beeps at me when it's done brewing) I got alarm, coffee pot done. I forgot what I had done and thought I over slept.

So I jumped out of bed. Except that I also forgot this mattress is 2x as high as the other one. You know how you sometimes misjudge a step? Yeah, well that's what happened. I hit the floor. With my body, not just my feet.

I layed there laughing until I was afraid I'd pee myself. In fact, every time I picture it I start laughing again.

I really am a morning person. I just can't make my body believe that.

But at least I started my day with a good laugh.

Not The Most Interesting Post

Just thought I'd warn you......

OK - here is where a part of my mind is right now. Decorating.

I've pretty much pulled the living room together. I usually put some photo's and the art work of the children in my life in my office. I'm still doing that - but I've also hung my tapestry. It doesn't go with anything else in the room - but I love it. I want to look at it. So - I hung it.

My dilemma is my bedroom. I know I want to use taupe with some true red and touches of black. I don't go all girly and I hate a foo-foo bedroom. I like warm and comfy. I'm going to make the roman shade and bedcover. My problem is the art work. I hate a lot of stuff on the walls but I gotta have something. I have plenty of wall sconces (there's a surprise) but no paintings I own are "right" for in there. I've spent hours looking on line and just can't find anything that "slaps" me.

So I was wondering.....what art work do you have on your bedroom walls? Is it themed? (now, I realize that is a question I should be real careful with - given the Bad Example family and all!) Or did you just go by color?

I do know what I DON'T want. No deer, squirrel, animal shots. No gun porn. Hell - not really a porn girl by any stretch of the imagination. I want the room to feel warm, inviting, sensual and serene.

I'm looking for some inspiration here - can ya help me out?!?!

Never Grow Up

RedNeck and I must have been on the same wave length yesterday. I was in a very "remember when" kinda mood.

I didn't accomplish a damned thing yesterday - and that is just fine by me. I spent the afternoon napping. And dreamin'.

I was dreaming about innocence and wonder. I could see myself in the yard running barefoot with a stick - chasing some imaginary foe.

I saw myself raking leaves and then as soon as Daddy went inside jumping into the pile - just because. Then starting all over again.

That led me to remembering how innocent I really was. How I just knew I could do ANYTHING. How positive I was that there was good in everyone. How beautiful the world was.

I often joke about how I'm never going to grow up. And I won't. I know that. I refuse to stop believing in the good of people. I still catch my breath as I see a sunset or the moon in the dark evening sky. And I'll never stop going barefoot.

But everyonce in a while - I miss those days when I didn't have to tell myself it was alright. I just knew that it was.

Never

Sarah did a post the other day on things she's never done. It kind of inspired me and I've started on of those myself.

However, then I pop over to my friend Lex's place and he has a list of nevers that, well...made me a bit jealous.

In all honesty I've had some trouble coming up with my list of things I've never done or seen. Until I read that post of Lex's. Thanks Dude, for helping me to think outside the box again! As always, you are an inspiration!!!!

Pardon Me While I Gush

I just love my new mattress set. For a couple of reasons........

I know I worked for Simmons. And I have my issues - with the company NOT the product. They really do make the best damned mattresses on the market. AND the R&D department really do care that they are making peoples lives better. That's not the company Koolaid. It's the way it is.

That being said - Oh.My.Goodness.

It's not a top of the line. In fact it's an entry level product. But it supports my back. It's a little firmer than I like, but it's important to remember that buying a mattress is like buying a pair of jeans. You may love the jeans when you buy them. They look good - they fit great!! BUT - they get better with time. After a while they start getting broken in. They start to conform to your body. That's how it is with a mattress. All foam (except for latex) is firm when you first get it. It needs to be broken in. After a while it will start to learn your sleep patterns and conform. Even given all that - this is just soooo much better than what I had.

And the BEST PART?!?! - I got a plush with a 2" boxtop pillow top. What's that mean? It means that when I sit on the edge of the bed MY feet don't touch the ground. MY feet. Folks - I have a 37" inseam. I have never had to CLIMB into bed - ever, in my whole life. I felt like the Princess and the Pea when I got up this morning.

So I treated myself. I made the coffee, put it in my handy dandy carafe and grabbed a tray. I brought it all into my bed place and wallowed. For hours. I watched a movie, drank coffee and just basically felt very lazy. It was the PERFECT way to start a Sunday.

Irresponsible be damned. THIS was the exact right thing to do. Hell - I might even take me a nap this afternoon. Just for the excuse to climb back in!!!

I ALMOST MISSED IT!!

Holy Cow. Bein' behind in my blogging almost cost me the chance to say WooHoo!!

Big Time WooHoo!!!

Thank Goodness Caltech Girl reads all the comments. Seem's Margi & Koolaid are finally getting to hold and love that little Peanut we've been waitin' for.

Looks like he put in his appearance on the 19th. Mommy and baby are doin' fine.

Congratulations to two of my favorite people. That is one lucky baby!!!!

Twist and Turn

What am I gonna do with me? I tell ya, sometimes I don't use the brains God gave a flea.

Yesterday was a prime example. When I worked in the mattress biz one of the accounts I covered was Mattress Giant. I spent a lot of time in these stores, training sales people, making things look pretty and helping out on the floor. I enjoyed it for the most part.

So I noticed the local Matt Giant changed names. They had stacks and stacks of mattresses in the store all bagged up with big red signs on them. SALE. As I was driving past on my way to Target I found that I had actually stopped. In the parking lot. And turned off the car. Hmmmm I guess I'm goin' in.

I walked in and the kid (and yes, he was a kid) started his "speil" on me. I held up my hand, smiled and explained I had been a Representative for Simmons for 2 years. My job was to train and sell. I knew his speil better than he did. I just wanted to look around, thankyouverymuch.

So he followed me around asking questions. We chatted as I browsed. I came upon the mattress that I had ordered before I moved up here. The one that was cancelled when I quit. I love this mattress. 3" of latex foam, beautiful cover, foam encased sides. This bed sleeps like a dream. And retails for $3500. NOT in Tammi's budget. Ever.

I lay down and sigh. He tells me I can get it for $1800. Folks - I know cost on this puppy. I ain't payin' $1800 for it. Ever.

I laughed and said pretty much that very thing. He even had to chuckle.

Now - I need to explain. I'm sleeping on a mattress that is over 20 years old. It's been in bad shape since I've had it - but it's not a priority.

I move through the store and see another mattress I've always liked. It's on clearance also. I won't bore you with the details, but let me just say - after some bickering and a couple of phone calls that mattress will be delivered today. I bought it at $35 over actual cost. Heheheh - I've still got it.

Anyway - as we are setting up the delivery information an older couple comes in. They had just purchased a foam mattress a few days earlier and hated it. They wanted to exchange. No problem. They want a "traditional" bed. Again - no problem.

This store only sells Simmons. Well, and those foam beds - but you get the point. The kid tells them it's their lucky day. He points at me and tells them I used to work for Simmons and I just bought a mattress from him. They ask me a few questions, and to make a long story short - I spent my lunch time yesterday helping these folks select a wonderful Simmons mattress that will give them comfort and a good nights sleep for years to come.

And - I got a job offer.

I had to laugh. And think about it seriously. I could do that on the evenings and weekends. So this is what I offered. Nights 5:15-8:30. Staturdays and every other Sunday. 1 weekend off every 6 weeks so that I can check on Mama. I don't get the big "Mattress Sale Days" off of my day job so I probably won't be much help then. And #1 rule - do not EVER interfere with my "real" job.

Those are my terms. Will they accept them? Who knows. Actually, who cares. But if it works out - I will kinda enjoy doing that again for a while.

Meanwhile - I'm gonna be sleepin' sooooo good!!! And that's my only real comfort - cause I won't be able to afford to do anything else!! ;-)

Glass & Stones

I just hate people that think they are better than others. Seriously - I've never understood how someone could think that they have a right to honestly believe they can pass judgement.

People in glass houses should not throw stones. Period.

This week at work I have an account that is on pre-pay. They have to send me the check before I release their parts. They are a small company in a very competitive business. Fairly new to the industry. Right now they need some of my most popular parts. If I wait to enter the order until I get the check they will have to wait almost 2 months for the parts. Not gonna happen. So I want to enter the order (so we make it) but not ship until we get the check. I sell these things to dozens and dozens of accounts. This customer only wants 1,000. I'm shipping over 9,000 this week alone. If they don't send the check - I'm pretty sure I can sell what we held for them. (duh) In a discussion with one of our accounting people they tell me we can't do it that way. We can't enter the order until we get the check. "If the business is that important to them they should have made sure they paid their bills on time, and there wouldn't be an issue". I snapped.

People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones - I've lived in a glass house.

I know someone who is in a serious relationship. They are now expecting a baby. I just realized that the relationship is considered "murky". People are gossiping about the fact that a baby will be born out of wedlock. One of these people was a single parent themselves - in much the same situation.

People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones - I throw them right back.

Some people actually judge you by your address. Or they love to gossip and smirk if your home isn't Home & Garden clean. I've lived in shacks. Because I had too. My house has been a trash pit. And it took a miracle (and a little help) to pull it back together. Or if you cook and don't do everything from scratch. Some folks will actually think the meal is "wanting". I used to cook everything from scratch. Never bought frozen bread dough. My sauce? Always completely from scratch. I lived my life in the kitchen. Now - I "cheat". My sauce is from a jar, but doctored up to the point you wouldn't recgonize it for anything other than Tammi Sauce. Still takes talent to combine the ingrediants, time to pull it all together and I still take pride in the result. Basically it's still yummy AND I had time to relax and enjoy the process. I'm no less a cook or housekeeper because I use shortcuts. And neither is anyone else.

People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.

What it all boils down to is the fact that no one is perfect. None of us have ever not made a mistake, not made a bad decision, not taken a wrong turn. It happens. It's life. And if we're on the ball we learn from those mistakes. But what we should never do is forget that we're human, just like everyone else. We shouldn't pass judgement from appearances because we just don't know what circumstances/thoughts lead to that place in that time. We shouldn't forget that no matter how many pretty curtains we hang or ways we try to disguise the fact - we all live in glass houses.

Snow, Seriously

It just took me 2 1/2 hours to drive home from work. Holy Cow! It was a white out.

I knew I was in trouble when I started the car, and before I put it into gear the "Low Traction" light came on.

I may take "main roads" back and forth but trust me, between us bloggers - they are just glorified country roads.

BUT....I'm home now. I've got soda, beer, cigarettes, liquior, and stuff to make a big pot of my very special sauce tomorrow. I'm hunkerin' down for the weekend.

It is beautiful. And if I had remembered to purchase AA batteries I'd take pictures for you. In fact, if I can find any spares I'll do that in the morning.

But right now - there's a cup of tea and a blanket with my name all over it!!!!

Wicked Pickett

Wilson Pickett died yesterday. If the name doesn't ring a bell - his songs will. Mustang Sally, In The Midnight Hour are two that come to mind right away.

Growing up I wasn't allowed to listen to much secular music. At least not that crazy rock 'n roll. But I could listen to Pickett. And I did. And I loved it.

Rest in Peace Wilson. Thank you for sharing your gift with us all these years. It's a better world for it.

Four

OK - so there's this meme, see. And I got tagged, see. By my newest blogdaughter, see. She is sooooo grounded!!! But, I'll play along. I'm a good sport.

It's centered around the number FOUR. Four Things. So.....here we go.....another peek behind the curtain of Tammi's World.

Four Jobs I’ve Had:

Waitress (really bad one)

Secretary (really REALLY bad one)

Claims Representative (where I earned my ulcers)

Cashier (that one I liked - I'm good with money....other peoples that is)

Four Movies I could watch over and over and have:

The Program - one of the best football movies ever

Rudy - double whammy...football AND Notre Dame

Working Girl - I can relate tooo well with this one

When Harry Met Sally - I'm a sappy romantic. Can't help it.

Places I’ve Lived:

Mishawaka, Indiana

Bradenton, Florida

Tampa, Florida

Orlando, Florida

Four TV Shows I love to watch:

CSI - Miami

Direct TV Sunday Ticket - duh...football

The Closer - just discovered it...not a bad show so far.

Nick at Nite - helps me fall asleep.

Four Places I’ve been on Vacation:
Vacation??!?!?!!? Hmmmm - that's tough!

Normandy - stunning.

San Diego, CA - one of the best times of my life

Pickens South Carolina - beautiful

Cornivaca, Mexico - my first international travel - fantastic!!!

Four Websites I visit Daily.

My customer's site for vendors (gotta get the orders!)

All others I take the 5th. Hell....I'm lucky to make it to MY site every day!!

Four Favorite Foods:

French Toast

Chicken & yellow rice w/black beans

Pizza

Pie......

Four Places I’d rather be:

Florida - Bradenton to be exact.

Florida - Tampa (2nd choice, but still good)

Down around Pickens South Carolina - mountains, and so pretty it takes your breath away

I know that's only 3 choices, but I'm serious.....I'm pretty happy here. I like it. It's becoming home. There are places I'd like to VISIT right now, but no where else I'd really rather be.

Four people I’m passing this onto:

I have to be honest. I'm so far behind in my blog reading, I can't know for sure who has been tagged and who hasn't (hangs head in shame). So - in order to save what little dignity I have left I'm just not passing it on.

Just Some Eye Candy

I've made it kinda obvious that I work in a "mans world". And I'm alright with that. Working with women, most times just makes me crazy. Petty bullshit that I just don't have time for.

BUT - I just found something I'd like to hang on the wall by my desk. A calendar. It would really help keep me focused and motivated. Don't know how much work I'd actually get done - but at least I'd be focused and motivated.

It's the Studs 'n Spurs calendar for 2006.

Come on now - who WOULDN'T enjoy this scenic view for 12 months!!!! Cowboys!! Jeans & boots. Oh, my!

Funny thing is - the guys don't like it. Hmmmmm - I just can't imgaine! ;-)

Good Stuff

My day really wasn't much better today. Except it was all bad business - so that's a bit easier to deal with.

I will tell you part of the reason I am able to sit here and not bitch and moan at the computer monitor has to do with one of my latest discoveries.

Lynfred Winery. Most especially the American Riesling Vintage 2004. I highly recommend it. :-)

And I haven't had a bad wine from this place. It's here in Northern Illinois and it ROCKS!

It helped fix my day!!!

THERE He Is!! - Updated

Believe it or not - I've had several people ask me about Morty the Mouse.

No - I haven't seen hide nor hair of him since our little talk that quiet Tuesday evening.

Until now. Photographic evidence has been provided to me that shows that yes, Morty is alive and well and actually working for a living. Or tryin' to anyway......

just kidding - picture actually provided (again) by Blogless Niece. But it looks just like him....really it does.

UPDATED: I had to add this picture - it's too flippin' funny and looks just like the first time I saw Morty.

That's My Girl

My newest blogdaughter, Ktreva has found something really cool!!

Jarhead Red.

Go see what it's all about.

I'm gonna get me some!!

Damn

My heart hurts today. Really, it does.

I woke up with tears in my eyes. I had no idea why - I just did. I checked the pillow and sure enough I'd been crying in my sleep.

That doesn't happen very often. Mainly because I really don't think I dream much at all. But also - I love mornings. Seriously. So even if I have to do things I don't want to, I enjoy the beginning of the day.

But not today. Like I said - my heart hurt.

I get to work and it's just another day. Nothing out of the norm, same old same. Then I started working on a project. Looking at some data, a pattern emerged. Something was wrong. Something was missing. I went outside to smoke a cigarette and then it hit me. We are going to close a plant.

Damn. Damn damn damn.

I may have only been in this job for 9 months but I've made some very good friends in that plant.

And I'm sure it's gonna happen. I'd bet my next year's pay on it. Been there before, know the pattern. It's goin' down. I'm positive.

Damn damn damn.

Now - I can't say anything. Mainly because I don't officially "know". Plus, we do everything top secret so no one will know until it's a done deal. But that doesn't stop me from hurting for them. Plus - I'll miss them. Some of the brightest parts of my day come from my conversations with them and the customers involved.

Damn damn damn.

Right after I realize that little tidbit I get a call from Army Wife. She wanted to let me know she was home and tell me abit about her trip. We started talking about Walter Reed and my heart just got heavier. I know this sounds so wussy, but it was more than I could take at that moment. I guess I'm just not as strong as I thought I was. Too damned soft hearted. I knew when I had tears in my eyes over what she was sharing I had to get off the phone.

Damn. Damn damn damn.

Then I get home and start popping around the blogsphere. I head over to Techography and read this post of possible lost children and a drifter. Again - nothing conclusive but still - scary stuff. Stuff that makes your heart hurt.

Damn. Damn damn damn.

I don't know how my subconcious knew, but some how, it did. I got my crying started last night. I woke up already knowing today was not going to be a good day. And I was right. It happens that way more than I like. I'd like, just once, to be wrong about this.

I'm afraid to answer the phone. I don't want to look at my emails. I just don't think I can take anymore "bad stuff" today.

Damn. Damn damn damn.

Deep Thoughts on a Tuesday

Do you take chances? Really - do you? Or do you live your life in the safe zone. Oh - push it every now and then, but for the most part do what you know and don't rock the boat.

And if you don't take chances are you happy? Are you content? Are you satisfied?

I've always been a risk taker. For some reason I have real issues trying to think INSIDE the box. Often times I miss the most obvious answers/solutions because I just simply can't think in straight line terms. I've often been accused of making things more complicated than they need to be - and it's true. Not because I want to - it's just the way my mind works.

For years I've complained because I always wanted more. I was never content. Oh - I am not referring to "material goods". Hell - I like toys and schtuff as much as the next person, but they have never been my catalyst, as it were. No - I've always wanted more challenge. More opportunities, more excitement. But not lately. Well, at least not so much. I've become almost timid. Afraid to go after that which "I think I can". I don't want to sacrifice what I already have.

I was discussing this with my cousin this morning. She suggested maybe it was an age thing. Oh The Horror!! Age? I'm actually starting to act my age? Oh, No. That can't be it.

I think it's just plain weariness. I'm tired. I'm tired of being uprooted. I'm tired of never knowing what I'll be doing where next month, let alone next year. I'm tired of always walking up hill.

Oh-I still get that restlessness. I read something or listen to someones stories and think - ohhhh that would ROCK. But then I realize what I would have to give up to do that, and the light just goes out.

I've become that other person. The one that talks about "remember when" and never really dreams about "I wonder if". I've become that person I never understood. Oh, I still think outside the box, in circles it seems. But not in terms of my life. I'm becoming firmly entrenched in the safe zone.

And I'm alright with that most of the time. I'm content. Almost satisfied. Not stagnant (at least not yet) but steady. And I'm ok with that.

But tell me - what about you? Which group do you fall in? Are you happy with that? Have you always been that person or have you morphed? And most of all - are you basically happy with who you are? If you could change, would you? What would you change? And is it worth the sacrifice?

He's Right

Blackfive is right....again. John Murtha needs to be taken to task for his actions - of late. His military service is not the issue.

The issue is the fact that he is openly supporting Code Pink. Code Pink are those folks that enjoy picketing at Walter Reed every week letting our wounded and their loved ones know just how much their service is appreciated. (and yes, there is sarcasm dripping from that statement)

Head over to Blackfive's and read his take. Then do as he suggests and contact Congressman Murtha's office and let him know what you think. (Thanks to Andi's World for puttin' that up there!)

SURPRISE!!!

I know I've told y'all a few times that I've been busy.

Well guess what! I've been "Really Busy". wink wink

I found out today that I've got another daughter! A blogdaughter that is. And I couldn't be prouder.

Ktreva - beautiful and loving wife of Contagion - has started her own blog. The Reality Ranch. THAT'S the secret Congation has been teasing us with. They wouldn't even tell me until this afternoon.

She's a wonderful woman that I am very proud to call my friend. And I'm even happier to know that you will have the opportunity to get to know her now.

So head on over to The Reality Ranch and give her a nice warm welcome to this wonderful world - the blogsphere.

hehehehe - this is gonna be goooood!!!

Frustration

You know what I miss? I miss a good, deep conversation about business. I miss talking about marketing trends, sales techniques, analysis. I feel so cut off - out of the loop, like I'm losing my edge.

That was one of the main reasons I went to that seminar and the major reason I was so disappointed. I didn't get my fix.

I've tried reading articles on line, but I like the give and take of conversation. I miss that interaction of debate.

Oh we talk about it at work, but I'm still considered the rookie, and no one really wants to talk WITH me. Plus, I'm interested in more than just our industry. I look at the economy over all and see how it impacts what we do. I look to see how it impacts my customers.

I've been known at times to pull numbers together from different sources to just run an analysis. Just because. And you'd be surprised at some of the stuff I find. But......no one cares. I got no one to chew it up with. No one to take what I found and go further. It's just so frustrating.

I'm not sure how I'll get around this. Can't really afford any societies and such. I will continue to search out on-line but that still just leaves me "wanting". It's just I SOOOOO miss that stimulation. Damn - I just love business.

An Excellent Read

Today is the perfect day for some good reading. And have I got a series for you!!!

It's no secret that one of my favorite writers, and yes-I mean writer not just blogger, is Sgt. Hook. His is one of my Must Reads every day. I never leave disappointed.

If you haven't been over there on a regular basis you might have missed his series about a young man named Jackie O'Shea and his journey to discover who he is. It is really a great series.

You'll want to start with Jackie O'Shea Space Cowboy. From there we see him at work in Barkeep. Prospect is one of my favorites. We see a bit deeper into who he is with Space Cowboy (again). From there we visit Dream Boy and Drop Out. The latest installment is Recipient.

With today being Sunday it's the perfect time to get acquainted with this young man. So - grab a cup of coffee, glass of juice, soda whatever and settle back for some fantastic reading.

I promise - once you get started you'll be just like I am - on pins and needles waiting for the next one. I'll be sure and let you know when it's posted.

No Real Surprise

You Have a Sanguine Temperament

You are an optimistic person who is easily content. You enjoy casual, light tasks - never wanting to delve too deep into anything. A bit fickle, it's easy for you to change plans or paths when presented with something better. You enjoy all of the great things life has to offer - food, friends, and fun. A great talker, you can keep the conversation going for hours. You are optimistic and sure of your success. If you fail, you don't worry about it too much. At your worst, you are vain. You are obsessed with your own attractiveness. A horrible flirt, you tend to jump into love affairs and relationship drama easily. You're very jealous - which just magnifies the craziness around you.

Found....pretty much everywhere!!!! Once again, I'm late to the party.

Sun Sand and Sanity

I was just having my morning conversation with my Cousin. We're both pretty excited because I have 2 weeks vacation this year and I'm really really going to try and make it home for a long week.

We had to laugh because when they told me at work I get that 2nd week my first words were "I can go home". My boss said that very thought scared him, since I might not come back!!

If he only knew......last time I got transfered up here for an extended period I went back to Tampa for 2 weeks and never went back. hehehehehe. (and I am after all, disposable!)

But that whole conversation turned to how much I miss the sunshine. A bit of sand on my bare feet would be a very welcome thing right now. She mentioned that the weather there today was rainy and windy. Not such good beach weather. That made me laugh. I remember weekends when I just needed some "therapy" and would drive until I found sunshine. I've driven 4+ hours just to be able to sit on the sand, in the sun and relax. Right now - that sounds like a chunk of heaven to me.

Some days I miss Florida more than others. Some days I wonder WHY I'm doin' this. I know, I know.....it's the right thing and I really truly do not regret it. I'm actually very happy up here. But some days...........

How Do They Know?

I'm a fairly passionate person. Ok - that may just be the understatement of the year, but you get my meaning. I feel things very strongly. I'm very focused when something is important to me.

And that goes for both the good and bad in my life.

I'm actually pretty good at hiding my emotions from those that are involved - or those that I feel don't NEED to be involved. At least that's what they tell me. For someone with a temper like mine I just find it hysterical that people always tell me they had no idea I was angry. Or that I was that "involved". It's amazing to me. I always thought I was such an open book.

You see the first sign that I feel something is in my eyes. I have "greenish" eyes. When I reach an emotional level that registers as passionate my eyes get very green. Very VERY green. Sign #1.

The next is my tone of voice. To me it is evident when I am speaking to someone I care about or if I am talking about something that I feel very strongly about. Sometimes it's a subtle change. Sometimes it screams what I'm feeling. But the change is there. If you pay attention. Sign #2

Now is where my two sides split. This is where it begins to get really clear if the situation is going well or....not.

If I get angry my blood pressure will start to rise a bit. You'll notice a flush in my cheeks. Not a good sign. Not a good sign at all. If all you are doing is hearing my voice there is no real way to know at this point. But if we are conversing face to face....my advice? Run. Run far and run fast. She's gettin' ready to blow.

Most times when I reach this point I will, if at all possible, try to walk away. I've mentioned before, and it's actually been a bit of a joke at work, about me pacing the parking lot. When they were teasing me about it yesterday I told them flat out - if you see that...leave me be. Don't try and talk to me. Don't try and stop me. I'm stepping away for a reason. Basically to avoid a prison sentence. Yes, that's selfish on my part, but I'm not really that partial to wearing Orange Jumpsuits. They do nothing for my figure, and I just can't wear that color well without a tan. Anyway - the why I'm doin' it isn't as important as the Leave Me Alone part.

Let me make it perfectly clear. I am NOT a yeller. There is only one person that has ever been able to get me to yell and/or throw things in frustration. That would be my sister. I don't know what it is - but man she can push my buttons in a VERY bad way. For the most part. The final sign that you have crossed that line, gone too far, have now stepped into the bad side of the Tammi Zone is when I lower my voice. When I begin to speak very deliberately. When I STOP swearing. When we hit that point we are beyond any compromise. As my friend Sharon says - "Oh, No - she's goin' in". Yeah, not good. Not good at all.

That chain of events doesn't happen often. Most times I can work through my anger, disappointment, hurt whatever by walking away. Just some time to cool off usually takes care of things. BUT - there are other times that process can happen in just a matter of minutes. That is usually for 1 of 3 reasons. 1) You messed with someone I care about. 2) You messed with my money. 3) You questioned my honor. For any of those three things I can get pretty riled.

But what is funny to me is that people always seem so surprised that I have such a temper. I give 'em plenty of warning. All they need to do is pay attention to the signs. To me it's like a blinking, changing neon. Bright, clear and to the point.

I would go into the positive signs of when I feel strongly, but honestly - that's not something I like to share with just anyone. Hey - a girls gotta have a secret or two. And the rumors are right - we like you to have to work at tryin' to figure those things out. ;-)

But tell me something.....what are the signs that you're feeling pretty strongly, good or bad, about something? How do you give off those "warning signals"? Or do you?

Better Safe Than Sorry

I heard on the way to work this morning that it is really really bad luck to do housework on Friday the 13th.

Hmmm - think I'll just watch a movie tonight. Those dishes and that laundry can wait.

Don't want to tempt fate now, do we???

I SWEAR It Wasn't Me

No - I didn't. My legs aren't so good anymore, and I've left the "well built" stage waaayyyy behind! But this? This is funny stuff!!!

No Real Satisfaction

I attended a seminar last night - kind of "dinner and a talk" thing. I figured it was a great opportunity to network - I'm new in the area and have no contacts, plus it's been a while since I've worked in a "true" manufacturing enviroment and an update on how things run today wouldn't be a bad thing.

My impressions? Well, the steak was good.
...
....
.....

Seriously - it was nice. The people weren't all the friendly. I think I actually met 3 people - met as in Hi my name is Tammi. Plus - there really weren't all that many folks involved in manufacturing. Most of 'em were bankers. Now, I don't have anything against bankers - I was just a little surprised.

After dinner the talk was centered on Lean Manufacturing. That's the thought process of cutting all waste from the entire process. Now I'm not talking Zero Waste. Thats a program. This is a process that starts at the top and involves every employee. You reorgainize, physically, everything to be more efficient. You change your processes to streamline and improve the flow. The end result is higher margins, shorter leadtimes, happier customer and empowered employees.

I left there so depressed I could hardly think. When I worked with Nippon Steel, many years ago, that was how we ran. It was all about effieciency, margin and customer satisfaction. The thought was you were hired to do a job - do it. Plain and simple. If a decision falls within your range make it. Just make sure you can explain the why's if it falls apart. THAT was how I learned what I know about business and management.

I thought it was kind of interesting that they've taken this way of doing things and made it a bonifide "program". Silly me - I just thought it was the best way to do business. I actually even wrote a paper for college (a couple years ago) that outlined this philosophy. I had no idea this was a trend in the real world.

I don't think I'm going to join this little "society". I may attend a few events, but I'm very hesitant to join a group whose main objective is to raise money. Oh - they go out and talk to high school students to try and recruit, but for the most part it's dinners, fund raisers and mini talks. Plus - their politics seem very liberal and I just don't want to throw my support behind something that I disagree with that strongly.

Overall - if I'm honest, the whole thing just ended up being a very long day with one good piece of meat at the end. I suppose I shouldn't complain, but damn - I was hoping for a bit more. But then again - we all know how greedy I can be! ;-)

Fritz Fest Rocked

Damn - Sunday was a great day. Hell, the whole weekend was pretty flippin' fantastic. Friends, food and drink. What more does a girl need? (that's retorical, so keep your smart remarks to yourself!) Anyway - I've been thinking all week how I could possibly write this up and do it all justice.

First and foremost I want to thank T1G for pulling this all together. I left him a comment at his place - he may want to think about a career as a Party Planner. I think he may just have the gift. Everything went off without a hitch!!!

Now I do have to admit some bias. I LOVE FRITZ'S! The atmosphere, the people, the food - and they serve a very good drink. It really was the perfect place to have this and they did a fantastic job.

An added bonus was the weather. Winter in the midwest can be "rough" and I was worried that the travel could be difficult. Heck - it was HOT on Sunday. At least in the high 30's. No snow. No Ice. No worries.

Upon arriving I was met at the door by a man wearin' a kilt. Hmmmm - nice knees (wink wink). Contagion and his wife Ktreva are one of my favorite couples to spend time with. It was a very good way to kick things off.

My beloved Blogdaddy, Harvey, was there with his beautiful wife TNT. Holy cow!! More of my favorite people. And who is this pretty lady sitting there? Sarah? Who ever said "That's not very nice" was using sarcasm to name her blog. She's a sweetie. Don't let her kid ya!!

That was when I ordered my first drink - so events started to run together a bit from here on out. Hey - it's the first time EVER I've had a designated driver and could just cut loose. And I took full advantage of the situation!!! BTW - a big THANK YOU to Eric for pickin' up the tab. Very Cool. Very VERY Cool. But you were missed Dude. Big Time.

Anyway - I was happy to see Blackfive there. Always makes my day when I get to see him. Didn't get to talk to him much, but he always adds that certain "something" to the event.

My youngest Blogdaughter Talula was there, with her friend and commentor McHenry Dude. OUTSTANDING. I don't get to see her as much anymore, and she gives GREAT hugs. Meeting McHenry Dude was a real pleasure. MD - when you gonna start that blog?? (hint hint)

I had the honor of sitting by Richmond at dinner. Between shoveling large quantities of really good prime rib down my gullet, we had the chance to chat. What a lovely woman. Inside and out. I'm thrilled she made it and am already thinking of ways to get together with her again.

I think Teresa and I spent more time in the same general area with this meet than we have all the others we've been to combined. We are known for splittin' up and then rehashing later. This time we had the opportunity to really socialize. Plus - I miss her like hell. It was just so nice to look up and see her there smiling.

Laughing Wolf disappeared on me once we got there. NOW I find out he was busy charming the Fritz's!! Damn - he even got a tour of the kitchen!! I'm kinda jealous. But as with Teresa, it was just great knowing he was there and hearing his laugh ring across the room.

I was happy to see Grau there. He's been so busy he hasn't been posting much and I miss his humor and perspective on things. Had a wonderful time just catching up.

I had the opportunity to meet some new folks. Freedom Folks to be exact. Very nice couple. I just wish we had had the opportunity to talk more. BTW - thanks for the CD!!

Near the end of the day I was lucky enough to settle myself next to Og, at Neaderpundit. Holy Cow - this guy ROCKS!! Funny, quick and just well, a hoot. Seriously - you have got to get over and check out his site. And believe me, meeting him in person is even better!!!

I barely had the chance to talk with Omnibus Driver and Buckaroo Bonsai and that is my biggest disappointment. I'm seriously hoping to meet up with them again soon and get a chance to really chat. I love her site and you can tell just by her smile that she is just someone I want to know better.

Now - if I forgot anyone please shoot me a reminder. Like I said, it all got a little blurry after a while. (It might have been that Starbuck's shot, but who knows with my mind.)

All in all it was a great day. By now you should know I'm all about the people. Sitting and chatting, laughing and learning. It's one of my favorite things to do. But this - this was the perfect way to spend a Sunday. Thanks again everyone! It was a real pleasure.

A Bit Of Why

Bad couple of weeks folks. BAD. Despite the fun had with the "take over" and the wonderful time had at Fritz Fest - it's been a BAD couple of weeks.

We are doing a reorganization at work. Always scary. Hell, terrifying would be a better way of saying it. I'm ok - just had more work added and it looks like there is a real possibility I'll see a smaller paycheck. THAT does NOT make me happy.

But here was the kicker. The icing on the cake, as it were. Yesterday we were told that we, the sales folks, are disposable. Not replaceable but disposable. Big difference there.

I know that I am replaceable. Everyone is. But disposable gives the connotation that you have no value. I've got a real problem with that. It's very hard to give your all, to really focus on bringing in results when you know that you have no real value in the eyes of your management.

And it's not just me. It's the entire sales force. All Of Us. Morale is so low it's almost painful to go into the office.

I've been a manager. And if I must say so myself - I'm a damned good one too. I think what made me successful, at least in part, is my belief in the importance of the individual. Of making sure every single person on the team KNOWS that they matter. Helping everyone to realize that the team would be different without them. It's called *Positive Reinforcement*. And it works. Really well.

So - that's been occupying my thoughts pretty consistently lately. Takes the motivation to write and/or be funny right out the window.

I'm sure things will get better soon. The universe will "right" itself and Tammi's World will be calm and peaceful again. But right now - yeah, it's kinda foggy here.

Funny Stuff

I know, I know - I owe posts on Fritz Fest and I have a few other things swimmin' around in this brain of mine...but I just can't put it into writing right now.

But this...this is flippin' hysterical. My STILL blogless niece (whose thought process sometimes scares me to death) sent me a series of photos. Looking through them I KNEW I had to post 'em. But....I wanna stretch it out. Prolong the pleasure, as it were.

That being said - this one needs to be shared immediately. Like right now, tonight.

Just another advantage to puttin' on weight. Maybe I'll wait to start that diet until AFTER this summer. This might just make my life easier.

Hey!! Bring me another piece of cheesecake, please! I got me a goal!!!!!!!!

Pay Off.....Again

I'm tellin' ya. It's seems like all I do anymore is pay off. Pay off bets - pay off ransom damands. And it's not easy things like money. Oh, hell no. Then I could just go sell my plasma or hock everything I hold dear.

Nooooo - I gotta pay with my dignity. And this one hurts folks. Hurts bad.

So - let's just get this over with, shall we.

Y'all might remember that Contagion, T1G, Harvey & TNT helped me move. Well, I was a little tired by the time we finally got to the Blue Cracker House and I forgot a very sentimental piece of glass art work in Contagion's truck.

He was nice enough to leave me a message letting me know not to worry - he had it and would be happy to return it. For a price.

Thank GOODNESS for his lovely wife Ktreva and her sweet, soft heart. Instead of jumping through hoops and being run over by a train, all I had to do was have my picture taken and post it. Here. Today.

So - here we go. Below the fold is the photo of Contagion and I at Fritz Fest (notice that damned self satisfying smirk on his face). And before you ask - yes, yes I do.

OK - now go see his great post about Fritz Fest - the picture of him kissing Teresa's hand is PRICELESS!!!!

Of Food and Friendship

You know, every time I say I have no blog fodder - my life explodes. Every time. I've been so busy lately I can't keep up - and I have so much to tell y'all.

Let's see - there was the bet - and my reactions and plans. And yes, I do have plans....you realize that. Right?

Then there was this weekend. Company and a blogmeet. Damn - I can't think of a better way to spend a weekend.

The job. And while I can't tell you many details, I can tell you it's stressful. And scary. And if someone wants to bet you that Tammi will be pissin' people off this week, it's a pretty sound bet that I will. And that's not really a good thing. Nope, not at all.

Anyway - I'll do this in a couple of phases, so I can try and do a half way decent job of it all. My mind is still whirlin' from my cyber-guests, so I'll come back to that later. Let's talk about Saturday - shall we?

My very dear friend Laughing Wolf came to town for Fritz Fest. It was the perfect chance for us to be able to spend some quality time together and catch up. We've both been so busy that it seemed like forever since we had been able to do that.

Since I had crashed so hard Friday night - I was up before the crows Saturday morning trying to pull everything together. I had some things to finish up at the Little Blue Cracker House and I really wanted to put together a meal that would compliment the company.

So at 4:30 I started to pull everything together. That's 4:30am. After a pot and a half of coffee, and great conversation with AW I was ready.

I made cheesecake. And I have to tell you - it was damned good. BUT it took most of the morning. I am thinking about posting the recipe but don't know if I'm allowed or not. It's that secret. It's that good.

Oops, I got sidetracked, sorry.

Puttered around, got things pulled together a bit and had everything ready in time for the Buc's game at 3:30. The only saving grace of that damned game was the fact that LW arrived during it. (yes, the Buc's sucked wet socks and they deserved to loose. And that's all I'm going to say about that.)

We had a wonderful evening, Even though T1G blew us off to go to a hockey game (what ever). We sat and caught up with the many changes and events that have been going on. We talked about blogging and bloggers, food and recipes, life, spirituality and careers. We drank some wonderful wine from a local winery and ate waaayyyyy too much food. And it was all wonderful.

Sunday morning was a big breakfast and more conversation. Teresa arrived and it just got better. The three of us laughing and talking and catchin' up. I realized when it came time to leave for Fritz Fest I almost didn't want to go. I wanted to just bring everyone to my house and keep it going here. But we headed over and it was GREAT.

But all in all, just spending quality time with my friend, hearing him laugh and being able to catchup on all of the curves life has thrown us - THAT was wonderful.

In case I didn't tell you LW - Thank you. Thank you for gracing my home with your presence. Thank you for your council and wisdom. And most of all, thank you for your friendship. (now hurry up and get back to regular blogging. We miss you!)

Wow

Fritz Fest ROCKED. Plain and simple. I have so much to tell you about it (there's a shock. ME - with something to say!!) But...it's gonna have to wait.

As wonderful as today was - one event absolutley outshone everything.

Teresa came out from the New England. Damn I miss having her closer. And being Teresa, she brought me something. Something that has become my most treasured possession.

She gave me an embroidered American flag that was flown on her son's Chinook in Afghanastan - complete with a certificate signed by the crew. The mission date is December 7, 2005.

To say I am overwhelmed is putting it mildly. I've been moving it to different places in my home to give it the proper honor it deserves. I'm going tomorrow to purchase a frame for the certificate.

Wow. I. Well. Damn - just Damn.

I just needed to tell you that this has been one of the best days - ever. My friends are amazing. Simply Amazing.

Thank you Teresa. Thank You.

Turn Out The Lights....

HHHEEEEELLLLLLOOOOOOOO?!?!?!?

Damn, the echo in here is amazing!! Well, it looks like the party's over. Well, this one at least. I'm becomin' quite the party animal. I've got to quick, clean this up and start on the Little Blue Cracker House, cause I got guests a comin'.

Laughing Wolf will be here today sometime. Teresa landed in Chicago last night (and I absolutely slept through the phone ringin'. Sorry Darlin'.)

The Buc's play this afternoon. Tonite I'm going to attempt to cook a decent meal to celebrate, not only the Buc's winning, but friends.

Tomorrow? Tomorrow is Fritz Fest. Bloggers are comin' to town and I need to be ready.

So, you see - I'm a busy girl. Never did make that Cheesecake - but I didn't bet on the Buc's game yet either. :-) Sleep does have some redeeming qualities. But now I've got twice as much to do in half the time.

And - as if that weren't enough - I don't know how to get my banner back!! Ack! But I've got a feelin' a certain "gentleman" will help me out! :-)

Seriously though - this has been an interesting, and let's admit it - fun, week. Don'tcha think? It was a hell of a lot more interesting than it usually is in Tammi's World. And, even though I'm climbing the P0rn Meter, I want to thank everyone for at least being subtle. It really is appreciated.

And thanks for the laughs. Damn - that was one funny group of people. Of course, you probably don't want to be meeting me in any dark alleys for a while.....just sayin'. ;-)

OK - I'll wax a bit more poetic later. Right now - I've got some cookin' and cleanin' to do. BTW - you comin' to Fritz Fest? It's gonna be fun!!!!!!

Short Timer

That’d be me ‘bout now. I want to thank everybody, that took time out of their own blogs, and lives, to come over here and he’p me enjoy winnin’ a bet, and he’p Tammi apreciate losin’ a bet. The “credits” are down below, just like in the movies… There’s a song to listen to if you want, while you’re scrollin’ the credits by, I’ll put both the song, and the gratuities in the extended section for brevity’s sake…, hell, I can’t understand half of what he’s singin’ in that song but I understand the, “I know I know, I don’t want to stay” part. She’s gonna be pissed off in 3 shades of mad when she gets back in here.

I’ve got a few things left to do before I go, but hell, we all know cleanin’ up ain’t one of ‘em on my list… I’ll save that for tomorrow, after work, like a ‘Neck does. Not that I’m gonna work all day or anything like that. I’ll be done workin' in a hour or so, but I’ll hit a beer store, or a tavern on the way home. That means, the mess will still be here Monday unless a woman comes behind me and calls bullshit and a few other choice expletives of her own choosin’ and does it herself. ;)

There was another bet made on the game that won me the keys to this resort… Chris Spielman(OSU grad.) bet Mike Golic(Notre Dame grad.) on the same game. Of course, Spielman won, as I was fortunate enough to do as well. I got a blog for 3 days for me and my buddies, Golic got a Jersey. Speilman’s. I wouldn’t trade. (Did I just write that?) It’s been a damned blast. And Golic had to sing the Buckeye Fight song, which he did, I might add, very enthusiastically. He handled the loss of the bet with absolute class. Somebody else lost that bet and handled the loss with as much, or more class. Tammi. I’m bettin’ she won’t take that same bet again, but hell, I’m not bettin’, she just might, no more bettin' for me(‘til later this year, you hear me comin' Marcus?). I’ve seen what can happen when you bet wrong. ;)

Anyway… enough, mushy stuff. You can find Golic’s picture wearnin’ a real jersey here, and you can hear the Buckeye Fight song here, and if you’re an “espn insider”, you can hear Golic wailin’ it out. My dogs ran under the bed on that one. I ain’t an “insider”, but the AM station here’s been playin’ it. For free. Don’t spend the 39 to be an insider. Duh. Hell, get some Scotch.

It’s a sad time for me, ‘bout now. I gotta go back to the shack. Yeah, I’ve missed my dogs, but hell., surprisingly, I ain’t stepped in any shit in the last 3 days. Well, none that come from “my” dogs. The mercenary dogs I recruited, well, that’s a different story now. There’s been a plenty to step in around here in the last 72 hours. It’s been damned near like havin’ a blog meet without actually meetin’ in person, instead meetin’ in Tammi’s World.

At least I didn’t see any cats while I was here. I did see some pussy though.

Gonzo rocked. Reminded me of one of my lady killer uncles. Thanks Key, now I know what was so special about him, and how he got all those wimmen’, and why he was one of my role model’s.

A’fore I step out, I plan to grab that can of Zippo lighter fluid over there in the corner behind the Mason Jar, squirt some in the corner’s of this place Much like Eric, and Bitterman did, but not from ‘tween my cheeks … And light a match as I walk out. I’ve got a match somewhere. Velociman stole my Zippo. Hell, if my match fails, I see Yabu tote’s his own fire… I’ll call him again…

Yeah, times up. I’m gonna burn this blog down. On my way out to the truck, I’ll drop the tail gate, climb up in the bed of the truck, unfold the collapsible chair I got from the Bass Pro Shop for Christmas, drag the cooler over, think about the dogs, smile my toothless, grinnin’ ass off and admire one of the best damned Vikin’ funerals I’ve ever witnessed.

Tunage, for Credit scrollin’, it’s somethin’ Ledbetter, but I don’t think it’s Marcel singin…

Credits…

Tammi, for takin’ the bet to start with.
T1G, for showin’ me the sucker.
Yabu, for blowin’ shit up. People residin’ in Norf’ Calina are your worst nightmare. They talk nice now, but they don’t fuck ‘round. (See Camp LeJeune)
Eric, The Red, The Blade, for knowin’ I’m and idjit(Hammerhead) and still wantin’ to see me survive in here.
Key, well, again, Gonzodo’s a beast.
Bitterman, ‘cause I would’ve bet my bottom dollar I was readin’ somebody else.
Velociman, hell, I’m like him, I can’t pass up a train wreck, and neither can he. For some reason’ I didn’t post a picture of him pimpin’ with his “red hatter” lid in tact.
Catfish for puttin’ up an original, like only Cat’ can.
Jimbo, ‘cause I needed some style points. Joisey Jim came through.
Harvey, for the boobs that Contagion so desired(Contagion is askeered of Tammi).
Matt, for checkin’ in, and for the perforation. This place breathes better now.

Hell, I did forget...
Zonker showed up with his idea of a Christmas present. Some damned kind of Ion thingymabob. Ion's? I thought they was little cars. Buddy, they don't make no kind of Ions that'll take the stink off this, but, they do make enough Moron's to put it on.. ;)

Sorry Zman.. my bad.

Hell, I almost forgot…

Tammi, Here’s my partin’ gift. I hope they're your color. I thought Brass was fittin', even though I'm a chrome fan. When you putt'em on, Contagion is gonna druel with envy. He's want's a pair of his own BAD...

I'm guessin' a pair on each ear would look stunnin'. Hell, you might even make the cover of National Geopgraphic...

Thanks for the time, the space, and the lovely Northern’ Illinois weather. There are some Vikin' funerals that can warm your heart.

;)

‘Neck out…

PS, Thanks for the leftovers in the fridge. Saved me a ton on Pizza man money. Every thing got gone 'cept the Sausage and the tater's... The dishes are on the porch...

Don't look Ethel!

Catfish told me to never tell a woman she couldn't cook...

when you're out of Shlitz, you're out of beer.

I'm outta here, and I'm outta beer.

Screw brevity, I'm outta time and the beer store closes soon...

Be back in a couple... prolly NOT. ;)

Not Real Quick on the Uptake

You know, you'd think I would have learned my lesson last year when UT played the Gators. (picture didn't make the "blogmove" sorry) If you don't know what I'm talkin' about - I bet Eric that the Gators would win. Loser had to put the wining teams "logo" (as such) somewhere on their person. And it couldn't be the hand or foot. I lost. I wrote UT in big black letters on my stomach. Was at a fancy resort in Orlando and had my friends take my picture. What I didn't realize at the time was the damn marker was a sharpie and that shit don't wash off real fast!!

Now....this year......this. 'Nuff said.

So, my Buc's are playin' the RedSkins on Saturday. I have a lot of RedSkin fans as friends. Most don't know about the blog. They've been trash talkin' like Tammi (usually) does. They are goading me. They want to bet.

Does it make me "less" to admit - I'm afraid!?!?!?!?!?!

One girl emailed and asked if I were sick? I would never usually hesitate. Usually I'd be the one goadin'.

So far I've held off. But I don't know how much strength I have left. There are over 12 hours left before the game. The pressure is on. I think I'll bake a cheesecake to keep myself occupied.

But damn - you'd think I'd have learned my lesson by NOW!

Interesting Fun Facts About Tammi

Blackfive here...again.

When Tammi goes to donate blood, she declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.

The popular videogame "Doom" is based loosely around the time Satan borrowed two bucks from Tammi and forgot to pay him back.

Tammi can divide by zero.

Crop circles are Tammi's way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the fuck down!

The eternal conundrum "what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object" was finally solved when Tammi punched herself in the face.

On her birthday, Tammi randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.

The Mexican Dia de los Muertos (Day of the Dead) originated when Tammi was served an unsatisfactory dinner at Taco Bell.

Tammi, after drinking two Red Bulls, was recently spotted urinating off of the Eiffel Tower into a strategically situated violin case. Despite 27 MPH crosswinds, her aim was uncanny, filling the violin case without missing with a single droplet.

Tammi is not lactose intolerant, she just refuses to put up with lactose's shit.

Tammi loves to knit sweaters in her free time. And by "knit", I mean "drink", and by "sweaters", I mean "tequila".

Tammi could eat broken shards of glass for breakfast if she wanted to. However, she doesn't, because she prefers to drink molten lava.

Tammi can speak in Wingdings.

Tammi rinses her contact lenses in the juices of habanero peppers.

Tammi once performed a miracle by turning water into funk.

Tammi can survive four-and-a-half months without water, but only 12 hours without Mexican Lasagna.

Tammi built the entire continent of Atlantis out of Laffy Taffy, some snap bracelets, and a bedazzler.

Tammi once constructed a fully functioning time machine, simply so she could buy a can of Surge.

Tammi recently added 'moose' to her "Animals That Tried to Fight Me and Lost" list.

Tammi wrote the Necronomicon, loosely based on a drunken three-day binge she had in Tijuana.

During the 'Reign of Terror,' Tammi was a major advisor to Robespierre. When brought to the guillotine, Tammi's neck shattered the blade upon impact.

Tammi was the one that originally taught that kid from Mighty Ducks 2 the "Knucklepuck."

A man once asked Tammi if her real name was "Tamara". Tammi did not respond, she simply stared at him until he exploded.

The letters in Tammi's name can be rearranged to spell "Doom" in twelve different languages, including Esperanto, but not French.

*Tammi is none of these things shamelessly stolen from the Internets*

Keys Stolen - A War Story For Tammi

This is Matty O'Blackfive here.

I don’t have any cool war stories. So, when Tammi insisted on a story, you know how she is, I had to give one…

On February 27, 1991, as part of General Schwartzkopf’s End Run into Iraq, I was part of a Brigade assault across Phase Line Phoenix. We moved fast, faster than anyone had anticipated. In fact, we outpaced the French 6th Light Armored on our left flank.

One of my responsibilities was tactical intelligence – meaning that I was supposed find out the probable location of our enemy forces before they found ours. We were seeking to locate and destroy the 33rd Republican Guards Division. These were baaaaad guys, with reps to torture and mutilate their prisoners. We wanted to find them.

Because we outpaced the Frenchies *gasp*, I was tasked to screen our left flank – screen means to be an early warning signal in case we were attacked from that direction. It’s a classic cavalry mission and one that I was comfortable with.

After five grueling hours on mission, my team found the Republican Guards before they found us. I wanted to kill those MFs.

My HQ took too long to figure out what to do. Soon enough, the Guards knew we had their fix and the game was on.

At the time it was 3 against 3,000…and we had only one damn machine gun.

One.

Uno.

Eins.

One damn machine gun.

Lord almighty, we fucked those three guys up somethin' fierce.

*Blogdaddy Tests His Stolen Set of Keys*

(An Uninvited Guest Post by Harvey of Bad Example)

Ya know, with all the chaos at Tammi's place, I would've figured Tammi would've run for the hills, screaming her head off.

But as you can see in the extended entry, she's actually in her room, trying on new business suits.

Here... take a peek through the keyhole:

Not sure what kind of business she'll be conducting, but I'm sure a 6'2" leggy redhead will be successful in anything she tries.

Until We Meet Again

POSTED BY YABU!!!

Now, who do we have here????

OK. Let's see - so far we have the infamous RedNeck, Catfish, Yabu, Eric, Zonker, T1G......

And Marcus, we can't forget Marcus now can we?

Wait? Was that Bitterman lurking back in the far corner?? I'll be damned. And Velociman?!?!? Holy Crap - the Vman?!?!?!?!

Oh - and Key?? KEY!!!!!! You too, darlin'?!?

And Jimbo. Jimbo Jimbo Jimbo. Et Tu????

Oh yeah - I'm makin' a list and checkin' it twice. That fat bearded guy's not nothin' on me this year........

Excuse Me. EXCUSE ME!!

Hey! Let me through!

Damn it's gettin' crowded in here. And before you ask, yes - this is Tammi. Really. It's me. I promise.

Holy Cow. This week, sayin' Thank Goodness it's Friday is more heartfelt than EVER. ;-) We're on the final day........

Anyway - Let's talk of happy things. Like puppies - oh wait. I had to give mine away. Ok, sunshine. Oh, wait - I live in Northern Illinois now - no sun for a least 5 more months. Damn - let's talk about parties then. THOSE I understand.

Sunday is Fritz Fest. Bloggers comin' from near and far to partake of really yummy food and slammin' drinks. Oh, and to see/meet each other. Oh shit - I'll be meeting many for the first time. HEY - My Blog isn't usually like this!! Really - I'm just sayin'.

Anyway - T1G (That 1 Goof - usin' my master key against me!) has posted the directions and Harvey was kind enough to put up the final menu.

Me? For those that don't know me....I'll be the tall girl, sittin' in the corner with a bag on her head.

WTF?

OK, so it's the middle of the farookin' night, but I made it. I hit traffic in Pennsylvania. I figure that those Amish folks had the roads all clogged up.

So, I finally find the place, but do I find some late-night chillin' bloggers? Hell no! I'm up to my ankles in empty beer cans, and somebody ate all the Mexican lasagna (Must have been Yabu).

I hear lots of snoring, and the place stinks of beer farts.

I'll just sweep away enough garbage to make myself a little spot on the floor.

Some hospitality.

Jimbo

Oh My Goodness

I'm #64 in the ecosystem for currently blogging about porn.

Never, ever did I think I would live to see that day.

Do I have to give a speech or something? Is there some kind of a trophy?

Holy shit - I'm glad my Mama stopped reading this years ago.

The problem? I'm laughing my ass off about it. I probably ought to just sign off and hit the hay. But this....this is funnier than you could ever know!!!

Batter Up

I'm sooo excited! Only 25 more hours of this hostile takeover, and my blog is mine, and mine alone! WOOHOO!!!

Life here in Tammi's Worl' is looking brighter all of the time. My blog will be mine in a matter of hours, as I mentioned, and this weekend, I'll be getting my stained glass sailboat back from Contagion. The sucker decided to go easy on me, and I've only got to pose for a picture. But I do have to hold a sign saying that I've got an unhealthy addiction to candles. I can do this... it will be worth it!

Speaking of posing for pictures, have you seen Contagion's link to his Mortar Maiden of January? I've gotta tell you... that is a really pretty girl. I mean... REALLY PRETTY! Okay, I think you've got the point.

And while I'm at it, I've got to thank ya'll for not getting too carried away. Contagion wanted lots of boobies, and while boobs (and then some) have been shown, they've been kept out of easy sight. So I figured that I'd show you some, though they're not mine. They're not mine!!! I know a couple of you like Selma Hayek, and at least one of you like Jennifer Aniston, so I figured I'd share a couple that I keep bookmarked.

That's all the skin you're gettin' from me, boys! ;)

Thursday (Tammi's World) Fishing

Now, now....don't getchur panties in a wad! (Unless you got that leakage Catfish was talking about.) This is a special edition of "Friday Fishing."

My 'Buckey' Buddy (Lord, please forgive him, he don't know no better) won a bet---picked on a woman! Like he says, "wimmen aint got what it takes to gamble AND win!" But, thats a'tween him 'n her!

Me personally, I adore women, gorgeous creatures Gawd gave man for our pleasure! When they're good they can't be beat....other times, real men just go fishing!
And that's where we are today....fishing!

Beware...be very ware! This may not be your cup-o-tea, and it is NOT being thrust upon you---you do not haftoo continue. It's meant in fun and in 'Neck's case...payback for a bet won...so he called on me and axed me to post a special pic...just for Tammi's World.....

In the spirit of the Rose Bowl victory of TEXAS over USC....I give you a 3fer---(1) the ultimate victory symbol, (2) the most graphic and explicit "hook'em horns" sign ever, and (3) a great "Thursday/Friday Fishing" picture!

(Some 'Neck editorial here... a VERY NSFW warnin'... hell you're gonna wanna close you're curtains and make some popcorn... 'Neck out) NSFW...and/or for sensitive people. So, go ahead, you don't have a job and you know you don't give-a-damn!

Thanks,
Marcus

Get your bait wet here.

Thursday/Friday (Tammi's World) Fishing

Surrender, Humanoids!

The Age of the True Primates is nigh. We have poisoned your water. Your daughters secretly lust after our hirsute nether regions. Your Era is over. Submit! Or feel our brutal boot heels upon your spines.

I am Czolgoz! Bow before me, and lay tribute at my feet, so that my opposable toes may fondle it. The Age of Man is over. It is enslavement, or the meat grinder, fools!

Except for Velociman. Only He understands. Saviour, we call him, in our exotic tongue you know only as Gibberish. The Great Velociman knows our ascendancy is inevitable, and has been instrumental in our victories. He shall sit upon an exhalted throne at our grand councils following the Great Upheaval.

Prepare for your fate, humanoids. We shall feast upon your flesh, and suck the sweet marrow from your bones. We shall shrink your heads, and wear them upon our breasts.

Submit! You are doomed.

Barked by Czolgoz the Terrible

(Smells Like) Carnage

In my profession circumstances conspire such that I've seen my share of train wrecks. Head ons, cars clipped at crossings, derailments wherein the freight is scattered down the side of an inaccessible mountain. And, truth be told, I likes me a good train wreck. Nothing like standing in the woods on a cold December night with a cup of hot joe at 2 of the morning, asking a roadmaster "What the fuck d'ya think happened here?"

Because the dirty secret is the only reason to go to a train wreck is so that you were there. Nothing you can do. Cranes are called in, boxcars righted, freight shoehorned into tractor trailers with forklifts. The dead hauled away, occasionally. But the thing is, you can't not be there. You have to be able to tell your boss the next day "Yeah, I'm tired. Gonna leave early. Didn't leave the collision 'til 4 a.m. That was carnage, dude."

Because you boss wasn't there. They're never there. You have to have the game on a boss. Of course he knows you didn't do a damned thing but stand around and drink coffee and bullshit, but that's okay. You were there.

Where was I going with this?? I got distracted. Oh, yes. Never bet the blogkeys, Tammi, because this is a frigging train wreck here. And I know whereof I speak.

Posted by Velociman. The Other White Meat.

Stinkfest 2006

Hell, I am impressed! So far, I must say, I absolutely admire the "representin'" goin' on 'round here.

Hey Tammi, I bought another keygrinder today. The other one, from the Dollar Store wore out. I Got the new one at Wal-Mart. It ought to last a 'til Saturday. When it die's I'm gonna sit it on the beer can coffee table. It's baaaaaaddd ass. It ought to make a good conversation piece after it's served it's pupose. That thing will kick out keys like you would not believe.

And, it's Chrome! 'Neck's like shiney shit! Even if it don't do nothin' but shine.

One More Thing

...And then I'll leave, promise.

Okay, two things:

1. Am I the only one who was an adult before noticing anything "special" about Gonzo?

2. Are there any Gonzo-nosed super G-spot dildos in existence? I can think of no better gag gift. Ever. We must start a biz, make our first millions...

(Yeah, still Key here...Though I almost blamed this one on Yabu!)

Another Crasher

So I'm standing here amidst the beer cans, tipping a bottle back and admiring the utter chaos that happens when one loses a bet. It's a pretty sight... Eric just flew past doing his snake run, Bitterman's over in the corner dropping ass on any and all unsuspecting souls, 'Neck's been busy hanging beer signs, Zonker's still sniffing his ion machine, Yabu is practicing coordination, and Cat's sharing the joys of Irish girls. Outside, I hear Key Monroe trying to get in.

I thought I would just enjoy the show quietly, but 'Neck called me to do my part. However, he wouldn't make a copy of the keys for me. Maybe it had to do with my telling him I needed his whole key ring... I coulda had me a truck!

Anyways, I've got no keys. No internet, either. Thankfully, Tammi has been kind enough to let me use her computer... wait. I do have the keys! What the hell was she thinking?! Heheheh... I've got the master key!

Ah, but I won't get too carried away, yet. My tales of folks shitting their pants, or pus pops and ingrown toenails will have to wait.

I will let you those of you who are local know that Fritz has added a new appetizer to his menu. Unfortunately, the fryers won't be going Sunday, but should any of you get to make it to Stillman, I highly recommend the jalapeno bottlecaps. Not hot, but pretty damn tasty. Be warned, though... they are much hotter on the way out.

That 1 Guy

I Feel Your Pain!

It was a dark and stormy first quarter with no Sugar in sight. Or tackles for that matter. Well, except those of the "missed" variety. And so. I ask myself... WTF?

The other F-word? Let us not discuss it, as it sickens me, especially after the third time. Besides, tis nothing crazy glue can't fix, riiiight?

Alas, I was NOT a fair weather fan; NO! I was with my Dawgies til the end...

Big sighs all around, Amen.

(On the upside, at least I didn't bet my blog!)

Love, Key

But the brochure said....

I was rummaging in the sweets drawer for something to munch on during the ballgame. I stumbled across this small plastic container advertising the word "sour" upon its lid.

Anyone who knows me knows I am a sucker for sour. Mouth puckering, teeth squeaking, tongue peeling, drool-on-your-sneakers sour is what I love.

Just the ticket, thought I, as I read "sugar free" tucked in along with the sour. No matter. I snagged the little container and heaved myself on the couch for an afternoon of the football action.

The little sour candies were tasty enough, even if sugar free. I shook them out of their container at a consistent pace, enjoying the sour bite of each multicolored virgin globe. Impatient as I am, I ended up crunching the last third of the candy instead of chastely waiting for the traditional slow dissolve before moving on to the next handful of victims. Thanks to my intense sour jones, the 4 oz box of sugar free candy made it to half time.

I cast the empty container aside and snuggled deeper into the couch, content to enjoy the second half of the game.

A quarter had passed, I suppose. Peyton had just connected with Marvin Harrison deep downfield when I felt the first pang. I raised an eyebrow in mock curiosity as my stomach lurched left then bucked right, as if to try and shed itself of an unseen rider. My eyes widened as I physically sensed the massive air bubble traverse from the stomach and literally hurdle over the duodenum only to rocket into the small intestine. It was a most intense physical sensation I experienced over the next ten or fifteen minutes. The cramps and bloat were highlighted by extreme levels of assorted gastric discomfort that simple deduction tied to an approaching event horizon of biblical proportion.

Something evil was about to emerge from my anus and the Sphincter Police would have no choice but to lay down their muscle tone and let the angry mob pass.

Soon enough, the cheeks of my ass parted like two wet sheets pinned to a clothesline on a blustery day. In rapid-fire fashion, my intestine began to cast forth a foully percolated stew, the magnitude of which I personally had never experienced. Without a doubt, dear reader, even the most putrid of poultry houses, the most dank of meat packing facilities, the richest, most potent aujus of a shrimp and oyster processing factory could not have held so much as a scented candle to the noxious zephyrs emitted from my ass on that Sunday afternoon.

The horror soon shifted to laughter as the eruptions of gas were more frequent and predictable, even controllable in some instances. They could be expelled hard for punctuation and basso profundo. They could be slipped gently past for stealth and surprise. I was concertmaster and conductor in one of my very own anal symphony.

But wait! The laughter gave way to my usual half-scowl as an eyebrow curled in devious fashion. My feeble brain began to grind out a loosely organized but somewhat dastardly plan. The small tin of mints could be used as my own personal bio-weapon. Why could I not bring my ass-weapon to bear in plots of extortion and blackmail far and wide? There was no one who could withstand the toxic cloud of gases hovering around me. Even I, the emitter and owner, had to step away for clear atmosphere and a cool breath. It was fool proof. With my newfound fart fuel, I would use the sense of smell to strong arm my opponents into performing my nefarious bidding.......or give me ten bucks to stop farting.

But my plan had to be tested. It had to be proven viable. The only question was how?

I slinked quietly down the hall, hugging the eastern wall. Soon, the tippy-tap of Wifey patiently working from her computer fell upon my ears. I slipped into her office and hugged her backward from her chair. Never one to shy away for opportunities for affection, Wifey spun in her chair, rose, and extended her arms for an embrace.

"I love you, sweetie," she said as she squeezed me in a bear hug. Simultaneously, I slipped out a quiet giant. I felt the pulse of heat ejected from my buttocks begin to waft slowly up my back. The moment of truth had arrived.

Wifey pushed back and crinkled her nose. I stood grinning. She sniffed apprehensively as the full force of the fart began to bear down on her nostrils. I grinned harder and blasted again in basso profundo. She audibly squealed and jumped a bit in surprise.

"Jesus Christ!" she exclaimed. "What the hell did you do?"

I was speechless amidst the laughter. As if by explicit command, fart after fart after fart willingly and obediently exited my anus. I began pantomiming in an Egyptian fashion to accentuate the aural and olfactory with a visual accompaniment. It was Grand Theater of the most evil kind. I imagined myself as Amenhotep III as he pursued Moses into the sea, only holding the walls of water back with my all-powerful ass.

Wifey, unwilling to wait in her contaminated office for my questionable explanation, much less the conclusion of my passion play, threw the thumb and forefinger of one hand to her nose, began carving a path through the noxious fog by frantically waving the other, and retreated to more healthful environs. Ultimately, she left the house in favor of grocery shopping after enduring another surprise assault. Amazing......

It worked. I had warranted the unconditional surrender of another human with merely a fart. The results were indisputable. My wife had left her comfortable home voluntarily to avoid contact with my rectal emissions. It was a humbling moment in my own personal history.

As a footnote for those of you who might be interested, apparently the gaseous culprit was an overdose of maltodextrin contained within the candy. Perhaps I should see a doctor as well.

More later from your pal, bitterman.

How Smart is Your Right Foot?

If you are anywhere near as stubborn as I am, you will keep trying this to see if you can outsmart your foot. You can’t.

1. While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off the floor and
make clockwise circles.

2. Now, while doing this, draw the number “6″ in the air with your right
hand. Your foot will change direction.

Nothing you can do about it. Sorry.

POSTED BY YABU!!!

You Know Your Little Sister You Love So Dear...

...well I...for a bottle of beer...that would be a Blue Ribbon

POSTED BY YABU!!!

The Snake Run...

… good morning, gentle readers… I see that the SNAFU that is Tammi’s World is running as scheduled… marvelous, isn’t it…

… anyway, I thought I would share my latest adventure with you people this fine morn.. see, I just executed an almost-perfect “snake run”.. of course, some of you will not know what I’m talking about… that’s okay… let me explain…

… remember that brainiac kid with the coke-bottle glasses back in high school?... the one who was so damn smart he couldn’t remember to secure the Velcro “laces” on his Keds?.. the one who, when seen running late for his Algebra class, was bent at the waist.. head forward… legs bent in a quick shuffle.. and his head and torso moving quickly from side to side as he maneuvered his hig-speed lumbering?... almost snake-like in his motions?… teeth set in a kind of grinning painfulness as he ran like a retard with a gimpy leg towards the education he so greatly desired?

… well, I did a “snake run” this morning… and as I neared my destination (the throne), I remembered back to the only other time I had performed that vaunted maneuver…

… April of 1998, I believe… a friend of mine from the Corps had invited me to the Kings Mountain National Park for some rock climbing… I jumped at the chance and was on the next plane out of Scotland…. We had a wonderful time… breakfast every morning at some kind of Waffle Hut… then on to the rocks… a great outcrop rose nearly three hundred feet just a 100 yards from the road and we wore that baby out… two-pitch and three-pitch climbs all day long for nearly a week.. beautiful springtime weather.. good company… and, as I said, huge breakfasts complete with mountains of fried bacon and gravy every morning at that Waffle Hut…

… on the morning before our third day of climbing, I casually mentioned to my buddy that I had not had a movement since arriving in the USA… we pondered this over coffee and bacon for a while and came to the conclusion that perhaps my body was just trying to get over the jetlag… no biggie, we thought… nature will always take her course…

… later that day, we had top-roped a small climb and were doing some playing around… I was on belay, and my buddy fell… he was fine… but the sudden jerk to my harness must have squeezed the wrong place… I could instantly feel the rumblings of the soon-to-arrive product of gorging myself on three days of Waffle Hut bacon… it was bad… it was immediate… the most intense need to shit I had ever experienced…

… I yelled up to my partner, and let him down quick… and it was at this point - trying to undo my climbing harness as I scurried down the hillside towards the awaiting roadside port-a-potty, that I realized I was doing the “snake run”.. I fumbled… I stumbled… my fingers worked the knot of my harness as I felt the first turd begin to crown… I knew I was doomed… the john was just too far away….

… in the nick of time, the knot gave way… still in mid snake-run, I ripped down my BDU bottoms and squatted on the side of the trail… the bliss was so immediate that rivulets of perspiration formed on my forehead and gently trickled down the side of my temple as the pile grew… it was heavenly.. almost orgasmic…

… I was squatting there within sight of the port-a-john totally lost in the moment… having abandoned time and reality and given myself up completely to the bodily function.. when suddenly my tranquility was broken by the slamming of a car door… and then I heard voices.. and they grew louder and louder… and in a few seconds, an elderly man and woman marched past the john and immediately locked eyes with me not twenty yards up the trail… I’m not sure who was more shocked… them or me….

… but what a day, people… after the old man and woman stopped laughing, he fetched a roll of Forestry Service toilet paper for me out of the port-a-pot… nature, people… she bonds us together in ways we cannot fathom.. hikers, campers, climbers, hunters.. we are connected by ties that cannot be broken by a mere public act of defecation… outdoorsmen and women are built from sterner stuff…

… by the way, you guys have the wonderful people at Taco Bell to thank for this morning’s mental ramblings… I can’t prove it, but I highly suspect a dodgy taco from yesterday created the recurrence of the “snake run”… but if I manage to find evidence otherwise, I will be sure to let y’all know…

Eric the Blade

One Down

Ok, Ok, ok.

Ok. We made it through day one.

**And Breathe**

Today is Thursday and I have a feeling my "guests" are just getting warmed up. YIKES. Add to that I hear some more duplicates of the blogkeys have been passed out and, well - let's just say we made it through day one.

Buckle up folks - I think it's about to get reeeaaaaallllllly interesting around here.

Did You See That Touch Down?!?!?

I think by now it's fairly obvious that I take my football personally. (That may be something I work on in the future, but for now it is, what it is.)

Anyway - watching the Rose Bowl last night I was kinda torn. You see, I like USC. Hell, I applied there when Notre Dame turned me down. BUT....they are a huge rival of ND and, being as they just barely beat us this year - and given that damned winning streak of their's, I was ready to see them shut down. HOWEVER - my boss went to Texas. He makes sure we all know it. There was no way in HELL I wanted to spend the next 12 months listening to him braggin' about this game.

But ohhhh, what a game it was. Holy Cow!! That was some great football last night!!! There have been some great bowl games all around this year. That FSU game flat out rocked - especially since FSU lost (and since they stole the National Championship from ND in '93 I am always happy to see FSU loose).

See? See how my mind works??? I'm still pissed from '93!!! I can't root for Georgia Tech either. And as for the Hurricanes? HA! Don't even get me started!!!

So anyway - I'm gonna have to learn to lighten up I think. Maybe just a tad. Sometime. Down the road.

But damn - that sure was a good game last night.

In the tradition of finding the silver lining....

At least the new colors will look really cool with my Buc's stuff in preparation for this weekend.

What?!?! You didn't think I was givin' up football just because I lost a 'lil ole bet did ya?!?!? Phewy - it'll take more than a few RedNecks to to scare me off!!

Happy Ions

Wow....this place sure does look different today. Took me nearly fifteen minutes to fight my way through the empties to the blog console. Anyhow, I don't mind. Good taste is apparently on vacation until sometime Saturday, so I guess I'll fit right in. Still..I expect that by Friday Tammi'll have fewer female readers than there are teeth at a NASCAR race. Serves her right for making a bet like that.

As for me, I've got nothing interesting right now...I'm too busy here at my own place. You know those "flexible spending accounts" where you put in pre-tax dollars over the course of the year and then you can spend the money on approved medical supplies¹? Well, it turns out my new hearing aids - while expensive - cost quite a bit less than I'd anticipated and so I had over a grand left to spend with three days remaining in the year. "Use it or lose it" is the rule of thumb for these accounts so I had to think fast and find some other "medical necessities" upon which to spend the money. Nothing sprang to mind until a coworker made a great suggestion - an air purifier. After a quick consultation with my insurance carrier's Claims Department, I contacted my doctor who graciously agreed to provide me with a letter indicating that a Sharper Image Ionic Breeze Air Purifier was a medical necessity. Shortly after that, I ordered them. Two of them, to be exact. Let me just say that Sharper Image does a fine job and I got the shipment today. Set 'em up in no time and already they're cleaning the stray mullet hairs from the air around here.

Just one thing is puzzling me - there's a button that, according to the owner's manual - turns on the "Happy Ion" setting. No mention of what that setting means, though. I don't even know what "Happy Ions" are...do you? If so, what's the street value for a bag of "Happy Ions", anyhow? More importantly, do I have to inhale directly from the vent in order to achieve a proper buzz? And most importantly, will they show up in the results of my next "wiz quiz"?

Inquiring minds with post-holiday credit card bills want to know.

Posted by Zonker

¹ - Sooper seekrit message to Redneck: I don't care how much you insist that it's a necessity, I'm pretty sure that penis enlargement pumps aren't considered eligible for reimbursement. You'll need to find some other way to spend the money you're saving in 2006.

Footbal Game

So the Buckeyes beat the FishEaters, I am very glad. I was raised with a bunch of those Billy Goat Irish, we were the only cracker family around. I was born and raised in the Old Fort section of Savannah Georgia. Back in those days, Savannah was owned and run by those Irish famlies. I use to go to all of the CYO dances when I was a teenager, I loved playing with those red haired irish girls pussies. They were all hard to get going, but when you did get them hot, then you had a ride of a lifetime. Many years ago, it was very hard to beat the Irish, they always got help from the ref's and they had a big following and they were always on TV. I am very glad they got there asses beat, Cat

If you can't beat 'em.....

....might as well join 'em.

Here's a little joke I shared with a couple of you - with the new "flavor" to the blog and all - I might as well go ahead a post it here!!

An 80-year-old man went to his doctor for his quarterly check-up. The doctor asked him how he was feeling and the 80-year-old said "Things are great and I've never felt better. I now have a 20 year-old bride who is pregnant with my child. So what do you think about that?"

The doctor considered his question for a minute and then began.

"I have an older friend, much like you, who is an avid hunter and never misses a season. One day when he was setting off hunting, he was in a bit of a hurry and accidentally picked up his walking cane instead of his gun.

As he neared a lake he came across a very large male beaver sitting at the water's edge. He realised he'd left his gun at home and so couldn't shoot the magnificent creature but out of habit he raised his cane, aimed it at the animal as if it were his favourite hunting rifle and went 'bang,bang'.

Miraculously, two shots rang out and the beaver fell over dead.

Now, what do you think of that?" asked the doctor.

The 80-year-old said, "If you ask me, I'd say somebody else pumped a couple of rounds into that beaver."

The doctor replied, "My point exactly"

**ACK**

****faint******

Note To Self: Never bet a man with a southern accent. Never bet a man with a southern accent EVER AGAIN!!!!

Callin' all Mullets...

Dude, you're late to the party... Come on in, the water's fine...

I've Got Bitches In The Living Room

Watcha gonna do?

I Got Bitches In The Living Room

...with my mind on my money, and my money on my mind.

Bwahahaha!!! I'm Fucked Up Now....

POSTED BY YABU!!!

Tammi's World ... a State of Mind...

Hell, it's a state of shock 'bout now. ;)

I love you girl... Bigger balls then beerbrains! Don't ask me how I know either damnit... I don't. I'm just guessin', or sayin'. :) You gotta admire somebody that'll put it on the line for their team... Hell, I'm a Rams fan... Since first grade. Why? Thay had the most bad ass helmets... that's why. And Roman Gabriel was an Indian, and went to school in Norf' Calina. Come to think of it, so did Deacon "Head Slap" Jones. That man was sack time 'fore they started trackin' that stat. Hell, he's the reason the NFL outlawed the head slap... He got too good at it.

Damn I'm glad the Buckeye's won and I didn't have to open the screen door to the ol' 'Neck Shack...

That pretty piece of glass in the middle there... It's wishful thinkin' for us Buckeyes at this time, SC, and the Horn's are after that puppy later tonight. It could be a long night for someone... Hook'em Horns!

Any Texas fan's want to step up and "talk the talk"? Chou? Marcus?

The gang's all here I reckon'

I see where my man Eric the RedNeck has stopped in. Dropped us some soft core porn off. All this talk 'bout indians is lible to get me dottin' somethin'. I like the new background Tammi! I really do, it makes me feel just, well, damned near right at home. ;) Anybody need a little tommahawk?

'Neck

Personal Grooming..

… I was born a small, white child… and for most of my life, I have remained a fairly young man… and as such, I have been cocooned from the vague plagues and frailties of middle-agedom.. woefully uneducated in the ways of the aging.. gazing from afar at the slow-moving crumblies I pass in their Mercury Grand Marquis… with their hairy ears and busy eyebrows… scowls on their wizened faces as I thunder by in my fast car…

.. well, over this past weekend, I learned a lesson of old-age the hard way… see, I had been gifted one of those “male grooming” devices.. a miniature, battery-powered nose-hair trimmer… I was shocked at first, since the person who bought it only sees me occasionally… and then, a sense of dread settled in as I looked at the shiny-boxed device… damn… one must have a veritable forest of nasal hair if, on meeting someone once or twice a year, you decide to purchase them such a personal Christmas Gift.. I must say that I laughed… but on one level, I was a bit offended… Hell, I take pretty good care of myself…

… anyway, I used the little trimmers the other day… snipped clean all of the nose-hairs… all was well in the World, I thought… until the next day, that is… people, I am here to tell you… don’t ever clip your nostril hair.. I’m not sue that tweezers are the answer either, but clippers are definitely out… and the reason is two-fold…

… firstly, up to one week after buzzing the hairs, when blowing your nose, casually scratching it, or even just looking at it in the mirror, those tiny little stubbles that line one side of your nostril will stab the other side… stab, people… STAB…

… and as if that wasn’t enough, the second reason is even worse… see, were you to develop an illness that involved snot while your nose-hair is recovering, you are doomed… not only will you get the stabbing effect every time you sneeze or wipe… but it will be physically impossible to remove and dried boogers with one’s fingers…

… lookit, we’re all getting old… and there is no manual on the do’s and don’t’s of how to do it gracefully… I’ll be the first to admit that… but take it from me… no matter how desperate you become.. beware trimming your nose hair… like I said before, I’m not sure what the answer to long, flowing-in-the-breeze nostril hair is… but it definitely isn’t trimming…

…. You all have been warned…

- Eric of SWG

Indians...

… thank the Gods for small wonders… I truly have my finger on the pulse of civilization.. you guys just have no idea how in-tune I am… why, just the other day I was scouring the internet in search of naked Hindu babes, and I failed miserably… not the slightest hint of sub-continent nookie could be found… and I found myself thinking, “what the internet needs, nay, what the WORLD needs is easier access to pictures of naked Indian babes.”…

.. this morning?... Playboy comes through, children…. not exactly safe for work, by the way... but behold:

In an attitudinal sea change, one-quarter of urban, unmarried women have sex, one-third read erotic literature and half go on dates, according to a survey by ACNielsen and India Today magazine. Bollywood, a mirror of the Indian spirit, now does what it refused to do five years ago: show a kiss on-screen.

India is not only on the brink of a sexual revolution, it is also overflowing with ambition, as a small but growing class of young, urban, world-traveling men with disposable income find their way to a new upper class.

The democratization of affluence is creating would-be male connoisseurs, keen for tutelage in ways of the high life.

… I am an oracle, people… and you can trust Uncle Eric… today, Indian Playboy… next prediction?... Hook’em Horns!..

- Eric the Red

Four Words...

Just four little words.........

WHAT HAVE I DONE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Damn, a stink so good...

What Tammi might have forgot is Midnight comes an hour early on normal time. An hour later on abnormal time. Screws my watch up every time I venture there.

So far, I've got two, count 'em two folks heppin' a brother out on this deal. Hell, I'm fine with that, if thats really the ONLY folks on either of our rolls that would like to contribute.

I'm still tryin' to figure out how to paint this SOB Scarlett and Grey. Time... give it time. Don't get me wrong now, ain't no self respectin' 'Neck that'd do the poo poo on Ankles in the air, I mean, damn, just damn, 'far as I'm concerned, there's not a better site then ankles in the air.

One buddy has showed up already. I knew I could count on him. He's solid.

Matter of fact, he beat me to the draw here. Since I'm so "stooopid" Machelle, I"m tryin' to figure out how to make sure I get a backup before I turn this bad mamajamma Scarlet and Grey. And I will, backup or not. ;)(No really, I'll try the backup thingy first)... Honest injun I will.

Damn, the game was "The Game". I'll give Tammi prop's for takin' the bet. Joe wouldn't without beggin' on my part. Shoot that wasn't gonna happen'.

How do you post pictrures on here?

How do you change the colors?

I ain't that smart Machelle, can you help?

Got somethin' you'd like to say here? You on her blogroll, or mine, shoot me an email?

It is that simple.

Don't forget, to come back this weekend while she gets to clean up.

It's a 3 day, and 3 day only, deal.

Yabu has the keys, as does Eric. Are there no other takers?

If so, so be it. If not email me and I'll "forward them".

;) That wink was just for Velociman...

He likes it when I wink at him.

Of Bets Won And Lost

I take honor seriously, especially when it comes to my best friend’s sister. In this life, there is more than one type of Blue Ribbon up for grabs, if you get my drift…and when I was drifting… I was in lust, and had been, for as long as I can remember. Not only did I want her…I needed her. I wanted the score…I needed the goal…I needed the game.

She made me week in the knees.

The bet was: Who can glide more in, in the agreed amount of time, than the other. Simple? Not Really, cause we were talking first timers. First timers for us, that is. No reruns. First downs for sure.

Keeping an accurate tally became a "he said – she said" type of deal. We finally had to get a curve going on…know what I mean? And what a curve that was. What a curve that was. Can I beat the line? I’m talking sport fucking in the first degree. Documentation is always twisted when the goal is within reach…know what I mean? Way too much drama. Things are not always as they seem, and an accurate assessment of our quarterly mêlée was almost impossible to ascertain. No instant replay…no cameras…too bad on that. Who cares... we had fun defining the rules…and we treated the bet as a four-quarter game. We made the rules up as we went…so to say. Guess who the head-bookie was?

I was all over, the over / under.

Anyway, I both won and lost that bet.

His sister was a keeper, and I kept her. He had more total points, but it didn’t matter.

Kind of like the Electoral College.

Life is good!!!

Actually, I should say…she kept me!

Even Steven?

Bottom line: He hates it when I talk about fucking his sister.

Bwahahahahahah!!!!!

POSTED BY YABU!!!

I've Spoiled Myself (again)

Whew - I have to admit, I've been on edge all day. For some reason I didn't remember that the "Take Over" starts tomorrow. Yipee. Yeah, I love waiting......

Anyway - the big news today? Yeah, I lost my temper. I stayed dignified, stated my position clearly and - most important - consisely. I was not accusing but I also didn't back down. Then....I went out to the parking lot and paced a rut into the asphalt. Arrgggghhhhhhh. I just don't get it. Business is business. It's about making things run smoothly and cleanly. So that there is little hassle and lots-o-profits. Maybe I just come from a different school of thought.

But anyway - let's talk about happy things. Shall we?!

I bought a new coffee pot. Like I said, this one started the death dance this morning. It's been on it's last legs for over a year, so I really can't complain. And - not to be morbid or anything - it's replacement ROCKS. I even got it on sale - so the day wasn't a total waste.

Now, if you know me at all, you pretty well nailed it if you guessed the first thing I did tonite after work (and checking my blog) was to get this puppy up and running. Oh, I can set it the night before. (the other timer was long gone) I will once again awaken to the sound of coffee grinding, and like a symphonic snooze alarm will then be nudged gently with a beep letting me know that the coffee is done. Sweet Lord - what have I done to deserve this?!?!?!?

Now - if you are not a single, coffee lover, that arises very early in the morning you may not appreciate just how happy I am about this. It's the next best thing to someone waking me up with a cup of coffee each morning. Ahhhh - sometimes life can be sooo sweet.

You see - I really am an easy girl to please. It's those simple pleasures in life that make each day just a little bit brighter.

My Mother's New Quest

Mama Vi called this weekend. Seems she's had an awakening. She has suddenly realized why we three "girls" (her, my sister and myself) are having financial troubles.

It took everything I had not to laugh out loud when she said that. I know why - but I can't really tell her it's because she is spending money like it grew on trees!!

So anyway - I humor her and ask that she further explain her thought.

It seems we're "strapped" because we aren't married. It seems that she's realized that it's much easier for two than it is for one.

Huh. Ya think?!

Then - now this is where it get's interesting - she tells me I've got to hurry up and get married. That will solve all my problems.

SCREECH!!! Wait a minute! Stop right there!!!!! WTF did she just say?!?! Hurry up and find someone that will marry me so that I don't have to worry about money??? Oh no - she did NOT just say that to ME! ME, the woman who has never, ever been in a loving relationship. Ever! I married once for the wrong reason and I will NOT get married again for anything less than love. I don't care if I have to move back to the damned postage stamp house - I would rather be alone than be married to someone that doesn't love me and that I don't love back. Aint. Gonna. Happen.

But she was serious. Very Serious.

Now I know, with all that is going on and all, plus she's getting more and more confused, stuff like this will happen. And I refrained from sharing my knee jerk reaction. But seriously folks - what Mother tells her daughter to get married so she doesn't have to worry about money? Especially one with my background.

Anyway - this is my newest battle. Because, as forgetful as she is - she just ain't forgettin' this. She's brought it up the last 3 times we've talked. She has a list of prospects. It's ugly. It's really ugly.

You know, that whole adoption contract? Yeah, it never said anything about this crap!!!!!

Schtuff

Hmmm. I woke up this morning and my first thought was "Damn, I really hope I saved my template". I saved something - I just hope it was the right thing.

And I want to apologize. I have to admit - my cursing was way above (or below, depends on how you look at it) par yesterday during the game. The last time I got this emotional over a game was when the Buc's were in the SuperBowl. It wasn't pretty around here - and if you live in any of the neighboring communities - I apologize for my VERY unladylike conduct. It was ugggglllllyyyyyy. Ugly.

Sunday - January 8th is Fritz Fest. Looks to be a very good time. I'm actually having visitors and am very excited. Plus it's a great motivator to get this place pulled together. Add to that the chance to spend an afternoon with some of my favorite people - and meeting new ones. It just get's better and better. AND - yes, there is more - Teresa's coming!!!! (If she doesn't get snowed in by the big Nor'easter.) It seems like forever since I've seen her. This may be one blogmeet that we actually get to spend time together. This weekend is shaping up to be even better than Christmas in my book.

It's really ugly here in Northern Illinois right now. Friday just south of here we got a good dumping of snow, mixed with ice and rain. Here? Rain. It's rained pretty much all weekend. Everything is brown and muddy. It's cool enough you need a coat, but too warm to really dress warm. I hate this weather. I'd rather have the snow. It is winter after all - this stuff reminds me of early spring, and that's not a pretty time of the year. (Yeah, Bou - I really said I'd rather have snow. I don't know what's happened to me!)

Speaking of Bou - she's up and doing just fine. (In case you hadn't been over there in the past couple days.) I'm glad - even though my heart is broken over the fact that TGOO is such an Anti-Irish fan. Damn, I really liked that guy, too.

I think I cursed myself. I was telling my cousin this weekend how proud of myself I am. I am a coffee freak. And I "LOVE" my coffee maker. It's grinds the beans fresh each morning, and every pot is perfect. Well, we were talking about how old this particular pot is, and I told her I'd been really working to keep it going - just don't have the funds to buy a new one. Hell, I've been nursing this particular pot for over a year now. Yeah for Tammi! I'm being practical. This morning....this morning it started acting up. I'm not going to be able to save it. It probably has 2 maybe three more brews left in it. I've brought this on myself. Now I gotta go buy a damned coffee pot.

Well, this is the last short week for a while now. I've really enjoyed my 4 day work weeks - something I could really get used to. Not only that - but we're hitting the ground running. Hard. I'm looking at a trip back out to Iowa (corn, corn, corn - oops - snow, snow, snow COW) and a couple trips into The City to target some new accounts. You wanna know something funny? I have no desire to make sales calls. None. I'd go if I could do training, or something like that. But sales calls? No, not so much. Damn - I really am changing!!!!

Anyway - that's just a bunch of schtuff I've got runnin' through my mind this morning. I figure when I get home, the site will look a little (yeah right) different. I just hope that RedNeck let's us know who his creative partners are. I want to make sure I "thank" them properly. ;-)

NOOOoooooooooooo

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm melting. I'm melting.

Farewell fair blog. Farewell.

Buckeye's beat the Irish. 34-20.

I'll be sending RedNeck the keys.........

Oops

I think I just invented new curse words. And strung them together very poetically if I must say to myself.

But damn that one hurt.

34-20 Ohio State up - but the fat lady hasn't started to sing yet. Hell - I'm horse enough she may never even get warmed up!!

I Love Instant Replay

It is my friend.

20 -27

The candles are working.

Watch out. Here we come!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I HATE INSTANT REPLAY

He was running with the ball. He was running with the ball!!!! Oh, yeah - maybe it was bobblin' a bit - but he was still running with the ball!!

I hate instant replay. I need another drink.

Ouch

21-7

Ohio State is leading.

I'm not feelin' so well right now. I think I'm actually cursing more than normal.

Maybe I don't have enough candles lit.

I Need You....

....to knead me.

Yep - I'm makin' bread this morning. For a couple of reasons. I'm making a nice ham dinner and thought some European Italian/Roasted Garlic bread just sounded yummy. That, and because I can.

So - I pull the ingreadiants together, grease up my favorite glass bowl and get started. I combine all the yummy stuff that makes this so special and it's time to start the kneading process.

Now I got burnt years ago with the whole kneading thing when my Grandma was teaching me how to do pie crust. She was already getting pretty confused and instead of telling me to barely touch the pie dough she had me work that puppy over like yesterdays whore. (ok, my words not her's but you get the idea.) Needless to say that was the toughest pie crust ever known to man.

Since then I've always had a difficult time letting myself go and really kneading. And if the dough isn't kneadrf enough - it never really rises correctly. Never really comes into it's own, as it were.

This morning's loaf is not really any different. Sure European bread is a bit denser, doesn't rise as much - but still. So I've punched it back down and placed it into the loaf pan waiting for the second round.

It'll still taste good. It just won't be that perfect, beautiful loaf I know it could be. All because I have a hard time kneading things.

Hmmmm - I wonder if the cooking Gods are trying to tell me something?

Go Irish!!!

Well, today is the big game. Notre Dame Fighting Irish are taking on the Buckeyes of Ohio State in the Fiesta Bowl.

This should be a great game. Both teams well coached and equally talented. The deciding factor will be who wants it more. I think that goes to my Irish.

You see, Coach Weis has done a great job in restoring our confidence. There is a swagger in our step again. A cockiness that has been missing. Now - we just need to break this post season losing streak and it is official. The Irish are BACK!!

And I believe that will happen today. I believe it enough that I took RedNeck's bet. 3 days - complete control of the other's blog. Three days - and he's called for creative reinforcements!! YIKES!! But that's ok. I'm not toooo worried. I believe in my boys.

It's going to be a good game. It's should be a close game. If it's a blowout it's because someone just didn't show up - and I don't see that happening with this match up. But I really think the Irish want it more - and that will be the difference.

However - that being said - I'm not taking any chances. I'll do my normal "rituals", being superstitious works for me sometimes. I'll light the candles (even though I'm not even remotely Catholic). I'll do what ever I need to do to help. Hell, if I could be there handing out Gatorade I would! I believe in my team, I have faith in them, but damn it this is my BLOG we're talkin' about now!!!! This is serious!!!

So - GO IRISH!!! Kick some Buckeye ass!!! It's time to show 'em who we are!!!!!

Slight Shift

You know it's funny. When I was in Tampa, and first started my blog I LIVED in my office. It was the first place I went when I woke up and there were many times I'd not go do things because I was all into my computer. If I couldn't sleep the first thing I did was get on the computer.

Then I moved to Orlando, and believe it or not it got worse. I had the laptop and the wireless and - well, let's just say it wasn't pretty. I could lay on the couch with the laptop on my belly and just surf away. AND watch the news. I could sit by the pool and blog. I would often fall asleep on the couch with the laptop either on my tummy or on the top of the couch - to wake up at any time and just jump right in. The only time I put the computer down was to leave for work. THEN I could take lunch at Starbucks or Panera and catch-up on what I missed when I was hitting stores.

I moved back up north - into the postage stamp house and the only place to put the computer was on the kitchen table. It was on constantly. And usually my ass was planted in the kitchen chair, feet propped on the wall (I know, bad etiquette).

Well, since I've moved I've started setting up my office again. I have my desk back - woohoo. I have a couple of comfy chairs and will soon have my printer set up. I've some favorite photo's on the wall, and as soon as I find the rest of my "art work" that will be put in just the perfect spot. It's priceless pieces that could never be replaced. All pictures or notes that have been given to me over the years from the children in my life. I've framed them and use them to decorate my office. It's perfect.

It's a good room - it will be a great room. But you wanna know a secret? I don't spend a lot of time in here. I don't leave my email up all the time, or the blog. I check in during the day - taking a break as it were. But it's nothing compared to how it was.

I get home from work at night and sometimes I almost forget to check in with everyone. Trust me, that is just plain shocking. And it's a very good thing.

I'm glad to see this shift in my focus. I spend more time talking with people I want to talk with. I get to HEAR the stories and ideas first hand - and that is way better than reading them. WAY better. (Well, as long as I don't lose my temper with the phone company again.)

But it's funny to notice the changes. I'm not as stuck to my computer. I actually run errands and do things after work. I've always been one that once I GET home I STAY home. I don't like to leave. But even that's shifting. I actually change out of my work clothes and get comfortable. I do chores. For the 10 years I've been single, when I got home from work or what ever I was done. If I didn't get things done in the morning they just didn't get done.

Most of you are probably shaking your heads and thinking that the BEFORE was the weird. But if you're suddenly single and free - and living your life for your job, that's a very normal way to live. OK, maybe normal is the wrong word, but you get my meaning.

No real reason behind this post other than the self discovery that I'm finally getting what I'd always wanted. A normal life. A balanced life. Now if I could just figure out what that niggly little problem was it would be perfect. And yes, before you ask - I am greedy. I do want it all. And I want it all now. I'm in sales you see, and that's just the way we are. But I can see it all coming into focus. It's all shifting in to place ever so subtly.

NFC SOUTH CHAMPS!!!!

WooHoo!! Go Bucs!!!!

It's a Good Day

Well, for a change I saw the New Year come in with friends. I haven't done that in a while, and it was nice. The best part was the sweet innocent hug of a child to start things out. Hands down a perfect way to begin a new year.

Today? Today I'm getting done what I didn't get done yesterday. I enjoy New Years day - always have. It's a stay in your jammies kinda day. Made my favorite breakfast - french toast and sausage. (I make really good french toast) and am starting on my second pot of coffee. Spoke to some family and, well have just generally enjoyed the morning.

There's a little gathering goin' on and I may just pop in and say Happy New Year. But just for a moment. I'm kinda selfish with my time off. I enjoy making things nice, I enjoy puttering around. And most of all - I enjoy bein' in my jammies. ;-)

I hope y'all had a great New Year's Eve. Safe and special. Even if it was just spending quiet time with the ones you love. Because, that's the important thing. Spending time with those special people.

Well that - and watching the Irish beat the Buckeyes tomorrow. But that's another post altogether. ;-)