January 06, 2006

Interesting Fun Facts About Tammi

Blackfive here...again.

When Tammi goes to donate blood, she declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.

The popular videogame "Doom" is based loosely around the time Satan borrowed two bucks from Tammi and forgot to pay him back.

Tammi can divide by zero.

Crop circles are Tammi's way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the fuck down!

The eternal conundrum "what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object" was finally solved when Tammi punched herself in the face.

On her birthday, Tammi randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.

The Mexican Dia de los Muertos (Day of the Dead) originated when Tammi was served an unsatisfactory dinner at Taco Bell.

Tammi, after drinking two Red Bulls, was recently spotted urinating off of the Eiffel Tower into a strategically situated violin case. Despite 27 MPH crosswinds, her aim was uncanny, filling the violin case without missing with a single droplet.

Tammi is not lactose intolerant, she just refuses to put up with lactose's shit.

Tammi loves to knit sweaters in her free time. And by "knit", I mean "drink", and by "sweaters", I mean "tequila".

Tammi could eat broken shards of glass for breakfast if she wanted to. However, she doesn't, because she prefers to drink molten lava.

Tammi can speak in Wingdings.

Tammi rinses her contact lenses in the juices of habanero peppers.

Tammi once performed a miracle by turning water into funk.

Tammi can survive four-and-a-half months without water, but only 12 hours without Mexican Lasagna.

Tammi built the entire continent of Atlantis out of Laffy Taffy, some snap bracelets, and a bedazzler.

Tammi once constructed a fully functioning time machine, simply so she could buy a can of Surge.

Tammi recently added 'moose' to her "Animals That Tried to Fight Me and Lost" list.

Tammi wrote the Necronomicon, loosely based on a drunken three-day binge she had in Tijuana.

During the 'Reign of Terror,' Tammi was a major advisor to Robespierre. When brought to the guillotine, Tammi's neck shattered the blade upon impact.

Tammi was the one that originally taught that kid from Mighty Ducks 2 the "Knucklepuck."

A man once asked Tammi if her real name was "Tamara". Tammi did not respond, she simply stared at him until he exploded.

The letters in Tammi's name can be rearranged to spell "Doom" in twelve different languages, including Esperanto, but not French.

*Tammi is none of these things shamelessly stolen from the Internets*

Posted by Blackfive at January 6, 2006 05:32 PM

WAY to much time on your hands dude. WAAYYYY to much time. ;-)

And how did you know some of that? I didn't think I mentioned all of my finer accomplishments?

BTW - I'll see you Sunday? Right?! **rubbing hands together** Bwaaahhhhaaaaaa

Posted by: Tammi at January 6, 2006 06:47 PM

Hey, those were pretty good!
I think you are better at that than Harvey.
You should give him some tips....

Posted by: _Jon at January 6, 2006 08:02 PM

... to steal a line from Elisson... I laughed, dude... till I pissed... blood...

Posted by: Eric at January 6, 2006 08:08 PM

Well, I didn't piss blood, but I definitely laughed! Tammi is my idol. I want to grow up to be just like her!

Posted by: Bou at January 6, 2006 08:16 PM

Admit it Bou - you just have height envy......

Posted by: _Jon at January 6, 2006 08:35 PM

Oh yes, well, _Jon, there is THAT! But I have my 'almost tall as Tammi' boots now, so I'm getting closer, one inch at a time! BTW, she names all her flats, Bou. ;-)

Posted by: Bou at January 6, 2006 08:37 PM

Wow, I shouldn't have read this after dinner. Now I have stomach cramps from laughing so hard.

Posted by: Contagion at January 6, 2006 09:06 PM

That's the same thing I've heard Bou. One inch at a time. At least that what I think she was sayin'. I only heard 'bout half the sentence.

Posted by: RedNeck at January 6, 2006 11:26 PM

Nice plot twist at the end. I actually believed all those things about Tammi ;-)

Posted by: lex at January 8, 2006 09:44 AM