Tammi's World

How Do They Know?

I'm a fairly passionate person. Ok - that may just be the understatement of the year, but you get my meaning. I feel things very strongly. I'm very focused when something is important to me.

And that goes for both the good and bad in my life.

I'm actually pretty good at hiding my emotions from those that are involved - or those that I feel don't NEED to be involved. At least that's what they tell me. For someone with a temper like mine I just find it hysterical that people always tell me they had no idea I was angry. Or that I was that "involved". It's amazing to me. I always thought I was such an open book.

You see the first sign that I feel something is in my eyes. I have "greenish" eyes. When I reach an emotional level that registers as passionate my eyes get very green. Very VERY green. Sign #1.

The next is my tone of voice. To me it is evident when I am speaking to someone I care about or if I am talking about something that I feel very strongly about. Sometimes it's a subtle change. Sometimes it screams what I'm feeling. But the change is there. If you pay attention. Sign #2

Now is where my two sides split. This is where it begins to get really clear if the situation is going well or....not.

If I get angry my blood pressure will start to rise a bit. You'll notice a flush in my cheeks. Not a good sign. Not a good sign at all. If all you are doing is hearing my voice there is no real way to know at this point. But if we are conversing face to face....my advice? Run. Run far and run fast. She's gettin' ready to blow.

Most times when I reach this point I will, if at all possible, try to walk away. I've mentioned before, and it's actually been a bit of a joke at work, about me pacing the parking lot. When they were teasing me about it yesterday I told them flat out - if you see that...leave me be. Don't try and talk to me. Don't try and stop me. I'm stepping away for a reason. Basically to avoid a prison sentence. Yes, that's selfish on my part, but I'm not really that partial to wearing Orange Jumpsuits. They do nothing for my figure, and I just can't wear that color well without a tan. Anyway - the why I'm doin' it isn't as important as the Leave Me Alone part.

Let me make it perfectly clear. I am NOT a yeller. There is only one person that has ever been able to get me to yell and/or throw things in frustration. That would be my sister. I don't know what it is - but man she can push my buttons in a VERY bad way. For the most part. The final sign that you have crossed that line, gone too far, have now stepped into the bad side of the Tammi Zone is when I lower my voice. When I begin to speak very deliberately. When I STOP swearing. When we hit that point we are beyond any compromise. As my friend Sharon says - "Oh, No - she's goin' in". Yeah, not good. Not good at all.

That chain of events doesn't happen often. Most times I can work through my anger, disappointment, hurt whatever by walking away. Just some time to cool off usually takes care of things. BUT - there are other times that process can happen in just a matter of minutes. That is usually for 1 of 3 reasons. 1) You messed with someone I care about. 2) You messed with my money. 3) You questioned my honor. For any of those three things I can get pretty riled.

But what is funny to me is that people always seem so surprised that I have such a temper. I give 'em plenty of warning. All they need to do is pay attention to the signs. To me it's like a blinking, changing neon. Bright, clear and to the point.

I would go into the positive signs of when I feel strongly, but honestly - that's not something I like to share with just anyone. Hey - a girls gotta have a secret or two. And the rumors are right - we like you to have to work at tryin' to figure those things out. ;-)

But tell me something.....what are the signs that you're feeling pretty strongly, good or bad, about something? How do you give off those "warning signals"? Or do you?

Posted by Tammi at January 14, 2006 07:41 AM