Tammi's World

Coffee Blogging

It’s no secret I love coffee. I’ve been imbibing since I was 9 years old. You really need to be careful when you tell the kids about those so called “wives tales”. I bought that one hook line and sinker. “Don’t drink coffee. It’ll stunt your growth!” Yeah, right.

Anyway – normally I enjoy my coffee strong and black. Mama told me from the get go – “If you're gonna drink coffee, you’ll drink it the way God meant for it to be drunk.” So I do. Except for in the morning. My first pot of coffee (yes, I said POT) is a treat. A luxury. And now – it’s even better than ever.

I like those International Creamers. Especially the Toffee Carmel stuff. Yummy. Well, now I’ve found the best thing ever. Carnation’s Crème Brulee. Oh. My. Goodness.

I’ll tell you what – I can hardly wait for that damn coffee pot to start grinding in the morning. This new creamer is the cats meow. WOW!!

See - I really am a simple girl. Give me strong coffee, a little creamer and I'll have a smile for most of the day. Well, until you piss me off that is. ;-)

Content VS Happy

Do you know the difference?

It's a pretty big one. And I'll give you a bit of advice, if I may. Content is soooo much better than happy.

For years I just kept telling everyone that I wanted balance. I wanted a "normal" life. It was something I'd always wanted, envied in others, but never felt in my own life.

When I was married it was far from balanced. And no one, in any way, could ever say I was content. I was miserable. Plain and simple. Oh - there were flashes of good, moments when I was truly happy. When the oldest granddaughter was born, holding her, looking into that beautiful face - yeah, I was happy. When my middle stepson graduated from high school, happy doesn't even begin to cover it.

But never did it feel "normal". Never.

After the divorce, I moved. A lot. I changed careers, thinking that would help. Oh, the job at Tropicana made me happy. Happy, busy, needed. But again no balance. And it was fleeting. One day I woke up and it was gone. Just a distant memory.

Flash forward to now. I've had several conversations with friends and they pretty much say the same thing. "We just want you to be happy". And, while I appreciate that more than I can say - I don't want to be just happy. I want to be content. Content with who I am and where I am in my life. THAT is more lasting, more satisfying than being happy.

Oh - please don't take this to mean that I'm not, happy that is. But what I am is sooooo much better. I'm content. I'm settled. I've lost that need to keep "rearranging" my life.

Whew, this is harder to put into words than I thought it would be.

Let's see if I can explain. I've always identified myself by my career. Now? Not so much. I'm actually embarrassed to say where I work and what I do. But - I'm working to change that, find something I can enjoy and take pride in. But NOT something that I hide behind. That's the key. It's an addition to my life, not the definition.

I thought I needed bigger, better and newer houses. I kept moving up. My little apartment, my condo, my townhouse, the house in Orlando. But you know what I discovered? Of all the places I've lived, as nice as they were, I'm much more settled here in the Little Blue Cracker House. No, I don't have a dishwasher any more. Yes, the bedroom is smaller than anything I've ever had. Yes, there are issues with the furnace. But I love this little house. Even with it's icky wallpaper, horrid blue carpet - it's HOME. I'm content here. I want to be here. I want to hear laughter and talking and footsteps of my friends and loved ones. It's my favorite place to be.

I don't go out so much anymore. The nights of drinking until I fell asleep are pretty much over. I don't need to. I get home, make dinner, have some conversations and settle into bed. The people in my life are those I CHOOSE to have there.

For years and years I chased HAPPY. And just as soon as I would catch it, poof, it was gone. What I've found is contentment. Solid, lasting contentment - with who I am, where I am, and what I have.

That's a nice place to be.

Desire

The "want" has turned into a "need".

I have to have it. I must stop torturing myself. The desire was so strong last night I woke up and had to find satisfaction.

It's sooo not like me. Usually I can control myself. Usually I know how to handle the pressure.

I simply can't get enough of it. It's all I think of, it's all but consuming me.

I don't know what's wrong, but lately I've been craving Chocolate Milk like it's some kind of crack.

What? What the hell did you think I was talkin' about anyway?!?!?!?!

Maybe. Maybe Not.

I saw this at Bou's place and thought I'd give it a shot.

Your past life diagnosis:

Do you remember now?

Timid and shy??? Well, that would have HAD to be in a different life!!! And I got news for you - any creative talents I have must be waiting for the NEXT go round. Now - I will say I'm all about the "brotherhood". I love nothing better than to get people together. But the rest? Not so much.

But it was kinda interesting. Give it a shot.....

More Stuff

Whew. Did anyone get the number of that truck that ran over me??? Damn.

Let's see if I can recap a bit. I spent Sunday morning with my dearest friend. I'd say oldest - as she's known me for 20+ years, but she gets a little pissy when you use the "old" word and since she now knows how to find the Little Blue Cracker House and my blog I figure I better behave. Guess what she gave me. Go ahead. Guess. FOUR big boxes of candles!!! One for every season. They are very nice! Does she know me or what?!?!?!

Not only that but she had me show her how to find Tammi's World as well as a few other sites I talk about a lot. I gotta tell you folks - makes me kinda nervous. Between BAM (which is how she id's herself on the site), my cousin, and my blogdaughter/niece Carmen I'm pretty vulnerable. Like standin' outside with your pants around your ankles vulnerable. It's rather freaky writing when you know that some of the folks reading knowing you that well. YIKES.

I spoke with Army Wife and she's fine. Tired, sore but fine. She just needs to rest. She did that yesterday. Her DH did a very good job of pampering her. He gets many gold stars in my book!! But she's fine and we should see some posting from her soon.

I did get some bad news. My aunt's cancer is back and pretty bad. We're very worried. She beat the breast cancer, but this is an even tougher fight. We're just hoping the chemo works. Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers.

I might as well just come out and admit it. I am desperately looking for a new job. DESPERATELY. I did get one offer in Bentonville AR last week, and another in Tulsa OK on Friday. However - that kinda defeats the whole purpose of me being up here. Puts me at 15 hours from Mama Vi and with that, I might as well have stayed in Florida. Plus, to just be honest - I cannot even begin to afford to move cross country again. Money wise or emotionally. I don't have it in me. Anywhere. I'm just spent.

So - it's back to the salt mines today. Tonite I'm hoping to pull my bedroom together a bit. Just because I can't wait to see how it looks. Then tomorrow night the serious job hunt begins. Posting might be a bit sparse for a while. But at least I can access the MuNu blogs again. So I'll be reading. You didn't honestly think you could get rid of me that easily did you?!?!?!?

Oh - and just so you know. Yeah, I'm gonna have a really pretty scar from my coffee pouring incident. But I'm thinkin' of it more like a tattoo. If you look at the main wound part it looks like a pair of lips all puckered up. That could work. Maybe. Sorta.

Hey - give me a break. I'm tryin' to find that damned silver lining again!!!!

Then the phone rang....

Sitting around Mama Vi's place last night, just relaxing and such, when the phone rings.

It's Army Wife. I giggle and ask what she's doin'.

She's on her way to the Emergency Room. She was driving herself - didn't want to be a '"bother" to anyone. Something just wasn't right.......

She's Ok - I promise. I just talked to her Darling Husband and he's keeping her in bed for the day. Hmmmm - sounds kinda suspicious to me.

But seriously she's home and resting. DH is there to take care of her and the kids.

But I'll tell you what - if *I* were Emma Peel I'd hop on my private jet and go down there and take care of them.

I'll post more when I get back to the Little Blue Cracker House.

Come Together!

I'm about as happy as I could be right now. Mama and I went out looking for material to make my duvet cover and some roman shades for the bedroom. I've decided I wanted a jewel red cover with a tan bedskirt and then my tan silk curtains. Red roman shades would be the perfect accent. With the black rod iron bed - throw in some candles and WOOHOO!!! It's gonna be beautiful.

So we shopped. And we shopped. We shopped so much even I was getting ticked off. I couldn't find the right material. I thought I knew what I wanted but nothin' was "slappin' me". Finally we settled. It wasn't the shade of red I wanted, and the feel was not as "soft" - but it would work. Just fine.

Then we made the mistake of stopping one more place. For the same price as just the material - I got the cover I wanted, the exact shade of red PLUS 2 king size pillows PLUS 2 curtain rods.

It's gonna be beautiful. Just flat out beautiful. I decided to go with black roman shades as something a little different. Plus it'll block the sun even better. (No to mention Mama had a real issue with me having red in my bedroom windows. Thought that was too much like advertising. Heheheh)

Now all I need is the art work and I'm just about set.

But I am very excited. I can't wait to get home and put it all together. (warning - y'all remember what happened LAST time I hung curtain rods!!)

Ouch!

If you have spent any time around me when I'm trying to do something in the kitchen there is one word - OUCH! - that you are pretty used to hearing. Let's face it folks, I'm a bit of a clutz in the kitchen.

So it shouldn't be any surprise that I've done it yet again. Oh yeah, this one's gonna leave a mark.

Let me explain. Yesterday (not a good day, btw) I headed to Mama Vi's after work. We're gonna have a nice family weekend, and I was actually looking forward to it.

So I arrive in pretty good time and we're sitting in her kitchen having coffee and catching up. I reach over to pour us both another cup of coffee....talking all the while (there's a surprise!) All of a sudden I'm feeling a searing pain in my ankle.

In a delayed reaction I realize I am actually POURING hot coffee on to my ankle.

OUCH! (please keep in mind I'm not supposed to curse at Mama Vi's.) OUCHOUCHOUCHOUCHOUC!!!!!!

Mama took immediate action as all I was capable of doing was saying ouch and laughing at how clutzy I am sometimes. Well, that and thinkin' "I'm really gonna have to blog this one!".

But yeah, this one's gonna leave a mark!!!

Prankster

Last night was a night for Mexican food and stories. It was very relaxing - a good way to spend a Thursday night.

And kinda took me down memory lane.

I was a good kid. So everyone thought. Oh, I was charming and well mannered in public and if there was company. But.......I needed to have an outlet, some place I could let my hair down, be bad!!!

That would be "Home". All I can say is - my poor mother. Bless her heart.

I love pranks. Really - not mean ones, just those wonderful "gotchas". And I don't mind if they take a bit of planning either. Kinda adds to the excitement.

And I have always had a temper. As a kid, it was really bad. I was very self righteous and didn't take it well if someone thought to correct me on anything. Oh nonononononono. If you ain't the Mama, shut up. Period.

Add to that my intense curiosity and well - let's just say I was a bit of a challenge. Honestly, it's probably a good thing I never did have kids of my own, what with that whole "Mother's Curse" and all. YIKES! I can't imagine raising another like me!!!!!!!

So where did I go in this little trip down memory lane? Well, there was the Christmas right after Daddy died. He had bought Mama those Corelle dishes that don't break. They were wrapped up under the tree from him. It was very cool. Until Mama made the mistake of telling me there were "guaranteed" not to break. Yeah - she caught me at the top of the stairs tossing them like Frisbees. I just wanted to make sure she wasn't getting ripped off!!!! That spankin' ranks up there with the all time greats. But hey - only 3 broken plates. I consider it a successful trial!!!

There there was the way I used to torture my foster brother. He was 7 years older than I. He'd come and sit with us at night if Mama had stuff to do. And boy oh boy was he a stickler for rules. Yeah, me? Not so much.

So - I'd get in trouble then write a note saying somethin' about running away. Then I'd hide in the built in chest we had in the hall closet. It was perfect. I could grab a flashlight and a book and sit in there for hours. Meanwhile I could also hear him tearing through the house trying to find me. Muttering about how he was going to explain this to Mom. See - no one thought about looking in that chest. Hell, I was 6' at 13, who would have thought I'd even fit in there!!! When I'd hear she was home, I'd come out of hiding and just show up. Like I'd been there all along (which I had). He never did figure out what I was doing. Hehehehehe. It used to drive him crazy!

I could go on and on......I got a boat load of these stories. But I wonder - since I'm going to be gone most of the weekend - how about you share a few of YOUR favorite pranks? That might be fun! And I need some new ideas!!!!

I just remembered....

This is usually the time of year I buy my new bathing suits. I started this tradition my first year in Florida.

There is this great surf shop down by the beach. The owner ROCKS and they have the BEST selection of really good swimsuits.

The first year I just bought one. After that it was any where from two to three new suits the middle of every February.

Last count I still own 14. That's FOURTEEN bathing suits. And I wore them all.

When I moved to Northern Illinois I figured I'd probably need to par that down a bit. (duh, ya think!) So I've been sorting through them. And yes, it's taken almost a year to make myself do this!!!!

My coral crochet suit....my very favorite. Colorful, fun and sooooo damned comfortable. Yep - it's gonna have to go. It's the oldest in my collection, and while it's still colorful it is starting to show some wear and tear. But damn - the memories with that one!! hehehehehe

My "tropical" suit......shiny and flashy. Palm trees all over, cut a bit higher/lower than the others. Yeah - I'm not seeing that one at the local riverbed. It's gonna have to go.

My standard black one - basic and flattering it's been a staple. BUT in order to wear a black bikini successfully you need to have a tan. Hell - for the first time in 10 years, I don't even have a damned tan line. Anywhere. It's disgusting. Gone. It's gone.

Last year, on my last beach day I bought one last suit. It's bright turquoise. Cut just right, comfy beyond belief. I remember when I was checking out it dawned on me this may well be the last time I buy a bikini. And now I think I was probably right. Yeah, that one's staying. It's beautiful and I *will* be wearing it again - even if it's just sittin' out in my back yard.

It's kinda funny, getting ready to go to Tennesse last October I was cleaning out the car. Under the drivers seat I found a bag. It was my beach bag. The one I always carried in my car. There I found my sunscreen, hair clips, bathing suit and denim shirt. I was all ready in case I got the chance to run to the shore. Ha. What a goof I am. But I really didn't want to bring it in the house. It was like the ending of an era.

Anyway - I was just thinking - now I'll have to start a new tradition. Any ideas for me?????

Funny

I swear - my friends have the bestest, warpest sense of humor.

I got this photos, and THIS one begged to be posted.

Enjoy!!!

Problem Identified

Well, at least I know it's not just me having problem with MuNu.

It's InsightBB. Seems Pixy was working on keeping spam out but ended up making it nigh near impossible for someone with Insight to access MuNu sites.

So - if I haven't commented, it's cause I can't read your posts!

And I need to tell you - it's killing me!!!!!!

Hopefully he'll have everything straightened out soon. Until then, I'll be over in that corner - rocking back and forth!!!

What's on my mind.....

Normally I'm pretty good at keeping a secret. Really. I am.

But right now I'm just so damned excited I can hardly stand myself. So - I'm gonna spill.

Oh, I told y'all I was going to cut loose - I just kept all the details to myself.

In 23 days I am going to meet up with Army Wife and we are having a wild weekend at an undisclosed location.

We're gonna let our hair down, eat, drink and basically have an incredible time.

I need this more than I can say. It is my mantra lately - I'm going to have fun. I'm going to have fun.

I have the count down on my desk at work.

Most of the time it's all I can think of. Fun Fun Fun Fun.

It's what gets me through the work days.

I don't cut loose often. Really I don't. But when I do - well, it can be exhausting. ;-) And you know I'll share the edited version with y'all. What? You didn't really think I'll tell you everything did you?!?!?!

I'm going to treat myself to a new outfit. I want 3" boots, fun jeans (if they turn out sexy I won't complain one little bit) and a killer top. I want a bit of myself back. And I'm gonna get it!!!!

So you'll have to excuse me if I'm a bit preoccupied. I'm planin' a trip!!

Somethings Wrong

Well Damn.

I cannot access any MuNu sites at all. I know someone is because my sitemeter is showing me referels from there.........

Did y'all ban me? I know - I'm too sappy, aren't I? Either that or Contagion ralled everyone to keep me out so I don't hug so much!!

Yikes! It's like a morning without coffee. I can't say "Good Morning" to most of my favorite people. :-(

Anyone else having trouble or is it just me????

A Wrap

OK - After reading some of the accounts being posted about the Howl on the Prowl this past weekend it is time for the TRUTH to come out.

First - despite what ANYONE tries to tell you there was nothing, not one damn thing, that could be considered balmy/tropical/warm about this weekend. Well, except for our delightful HOST. Folks - trust me it was down right frigid. Cold. Freezing. Well - you get the idea.

So - Friday night I was a bit frazzled after my day at the office. I get home and Bloodspite, his lovely wife and T1G are waiting to get on the road. Now, I have to admit I hate making people wait for me. So I was trying to decompress and still pull my shit together. I had all of the cold weather gear I bought layed out on the bed. I rushed in - said my hello's and then just shoved everything together. We get on the road and it's all quite pleasant. We made wonderful time.

Arriving at Laughing Wolf's there was the first of many surprises. Contagion, Ktreva, Oddybobo and Machelle were there waiting for us! WooHoo. Let the hugging commence.

Of course, you need to realize, deep down inside Contagion just loves it when I hug him. I know. I can tell. Anyway - he gets the first hug. Then his lovely wife Ktreva is next. I just love spending time with these two. It's ALWAYS a good time.

Next I spy Oddybobo. I knew her right away. I think it was the twinkle in her eyes and the smile on her face. Well, that and the fact that she was standing there with open arms waiting to for her hug.

I look to my left and see this beautiful brunette. I do mean beautiful. Dressed in a red sweater with a smile in her eyes I KNEW it was my long lost eldest blogspring. Machelle of Quality Weenie. I only hope I didn't hurt her with that bear hug.

As always when there are a group of bloggers present there was much talking and laughing. Everyone stayed for bit before we realized we really did have an early call the next morning. Good byes were said, more hugging. A nice end to the evening.

Not.

Next surprise was when T1G & Bloodspite pulled out the guitars. Holy Shit. I cannot begin to tell you how great that was. I wish I could, but I can't do it justice. Let me just say - damn. And thank you gentlemen. It was a treat for my soul.

Morning came very early. Laughing Wolf had planned an incredible breakfast. However - he wouldn't let me help. Nothing. Wait, he did let me make the second pot of coffee. But it gave us a wonderful chance to catch up. ( Once I got past my restlessness at not doing anything while standing in a kitchen!!) Eventually all the sleepyheads found their way to the smell of yumminess. We ate and got ready. That was when I made the terrible discovery. It was big. It was bad.

I forgot my long underwear. (I know I know - it's not anything new, forgetting my underwear and all - but DAMN. This time it was pretty important!!) I started looking for the pantyhose I had packed for extra insulation and realized SHIT, all that was still layed out on the bed at home. Holy Shit. This is reallly reallllly bad.

Deep breath. I can do this.

I got dressed, all the while muttering about how damned cold I was going to be. But I was bound and determined that I was NOT going to be the wimp of the day. Oh no. Not me!!!!

We step outside and I just about turned right back around and told them I'd just see them at dinner. DAMN. It had to have been about 15 degrees outside. My ass was going to freeze. Plain and simple. But no......I had to do this. I had to.

We get to the Tippecanoe Battleground. Cool. But if you ask the rest of the group is was cold. We were a bit late and they were left standing outside waiting for us. Oops. It was nice to see Wes and his bride had joined the festivities. Always a treat to see those two. LW gave us a brief history and we split up. I headed for the heated gift shop. And the last heated bathroom of the day.

I ran into Harvey and TNT, and after hugging, we decided to take a little hike. While we were trying to find the rest of the group - they LEFT US!! Yep, just took off to greener pastures while we were left wandering in the woods. But that's ok. I was Girl Scout of the Year not once but twice. I got us out. Yes I did. AND we managed to find our way to Wolf Park.

I'm going to do a separate post on Wolf Park. There is just too much to put into this. I don't want it to get lost. But suffice to say - it was fabulous!!

I'm gonna just jump right to the "after party". First - I'm sorry LW. I know you enjoy that place and I know the boys didn't mean to make such a ruckus. And I'm sure, once all the fines are paid the police will be much more understanding. You'll be allowed back in eventually........

Seriously - it was sooo much fun. Add great beer to bloggers and well, just damn. Now - you'll see different sites with quotes that are just "wrong". Please keep in mind - it was probably much worse than you imagine. Trust me. *I* was shocked.

It was very cool that Jerry of Back Home Again joined us. It was a real pleasure to get to know him. And talk about gutsy. Folks think about it for a minute. He didn't know a single one of us. And we didn't scare him off or nothin'.

Finally we could delay the end no more. It was late, well actually it was early and everyone had a drive the next day. We head back to the lair and, once again were gifted with a bit of music. It really was the perfect end to a perfect day.

We all slept in the next morning and dawdled abit getting on the road. Finally we load the truck and get going. A pleasant drive home, quiet with just a hit of laughter. And yes - it really was quiet, even with Bloodspite and I in the same car!!! ;-)

Now - I just have a few little personal notes I need to add...........

Laughing Wolf: You did a wonderful job pulling this all together. It was perfect. And thank you for opening your home to us. As I've said before, it is my honor to call you friend.

BloodSpite and Betterhalf: What an absolute pleasure to finally meet you. I hope to get the chance to spend more time with you soon. Thank you for allowing me to ride in the trunk, I mean your truck. ;-)

T1G: Words fail me. But please know - as great as this Blogmeet was, having you there made it even better. And - you were right - it was worth braving the cold. ;-) Thank you.....

OddyBobo: Oh My Goodness. You, Lady, are a treat. Pure and simple. Your zest for life is astonishing and contagious. Thank you for making the trip. I can't imagine this weekend without you here.

Machelle: Darlin! You are a sweetie. Thank you so much for the candles. I lit them as soon as I got my coat off. And I cannot wait to make the drive to Detroit to spend some "Quality" time with you!!!

Contagion and Ktreva: As always - what a blast. I just love you guys!!! Thank you for the blankets. I think I would have turned into a pillar of ice Saturday Night without them. Oh, and Contagion - I'll try and remember to wait until you're drunk to start the hugging. I don't want you to pull anything. ;-)

Harvey and TNT: My friends. My family. I'm so glad y'all were there. The spice you add would have been greatly missed.

Jerry: You are one very brave man. It was a pleasure to meet you and I hope we can do so again. I still can't believe we didn't scare you off. :-)

Wes and Spouse: Wonderful to see you again. Thank YOU for the blanket on Saturday night. (yes - it took 3 too keep this amazon warm!!) I so enjoy your enthusiasm. It fueled mine when the cold started taking it's toll. Well - that and y'all just crack me up!!!

Just a note!

My mouse just jumped and I lost my entire post about this weekend. DAMNIT!!!!!!!!!!!

So - know I had a wonderful, wonderful time. I was cold - but am thawed out now and ready to face the week.

Very SPECIAL thanks to Laughing Wolf - Dude, you are amazing!!!

OK - I better get to work, but damn, that post was really good!!!!!!!

Frigid????

Today's the BIG day!! Today at 5:00PM it is officially the start of Howl on the Prowl. Being the planner that I am, even though I haven't had a damned thing to do with this wonderful event except show up, I've figured out how it's all gonna run down.

2/17/06
8:00am - 5:00pm Survive work. I just have to get through the day. Yesterday was bad. Really bad, and there will be some fallout today. I just need to survive.

6:00pm BloodSpite and his beloved arrive at the Little Blue Cracker House. They will be stopping so T1G and I can hitch a ride with them. I'm very excited to meet them. VERY excited. BS was my very first commenter, and over the past (almost) 3 years we've become pretty good friends. I just can't wait to see him!!!

Saturday
Spend the day in the freezing cold with really cool people learning about wolves. Laughing, talking - just having a good time. I'm so excited - I FINALLY get to meet my very first BlogDaughter Machelle!! About damned time! Oh, and Oddybobbo is going to be there. I've already warned her to prepare to be hugged. Several of my very good friends are going - Harvey, TNT, Contagion, Ktreva, Wes. And some I haven't met yet. Yes, it's going to be a very good time.

That said......

This is where I start getting scared. Oh, not about the Wolves part - it's that freezing cold thing. Let me share with you an excerpt from an email we received from Laughing Wolf - the host for this weekend. (emph. mine)

The weather forecast is changing almost hourly right now, so keep checking those links I sent earlier. The good news is that no major snow is in the forecast. The bad news is that we could see single digit temperatures by Saturday night. Bring layers and lots of warm clothes. Bring blankets for howl night. Low for Friday is now at 12, and the low for Saturday is now pegged at 2. The wind, well, let's hope they are wrong on tonight and that it is indeed over by tomorrow morning.

That's TWO DEGREES folks!!!! Oh, and here was my response:

OH

Holy Crap!!!

I just keep muttering - I can do this, I can do this. And I'm preparing. Really I am. I have a couple of blankets (that's 2, two - it's all I own) that I'm taking. I bought my first pair of long underwear - you should have seen me shopping for those!! I'm going today to buy those stadium cushions to sit on - I hear there are aluminum bleachers, and I have no desire to find myself frozen to a bleacher. No, not this weekend, thank you very much.

I have a good heavy coat with a hood. I'm buying earmuffs. I have gloves. I have boots and heavy socks. I should be alright.

Oh - who the hell am I trying to fool, here. I'm gonna be freezin' folks. And I can promise it will be funny as hell. I can tough it out for short periods of time, but a day? Nope. Yeah, this is gonna be reaallllllyyyy interesting.

Let's see. Florida girl moves up north after 10 years. Never has handled cold well. So - what's she do her first winter? Well - she picks the coldest weekend of the winter to move. THEN - goes to play outside with the wolves the NEXT TIME THE TEMPERATURES DROP!!

**shaking head** If I were you - I'd keep on an eye on things. This is looking to be a very unique weekend. ;-) But there is one thing I *AM* sure of. It's gonna be fun!!!!!!

Maybe THIS Is Why

Some of us were telling stories yesterday at work, to break the tension. There's one engineer there that I just enjoy the hell out of. Cool, cool dude. Anyway........

Somehow we got on the topics of bachelor and bachelorette parties. Now, I have to be honest, I've really only been to one bachelorette party. In telling the story I think I know why. Let me share......

There was a club in Tampa called Stingers. It's long gone, but in it's day, it was THE place to go. And I did. Often. Get all decked out, dancin' and drinkin'. Three of my favorite things.

A friend of mine was getting married so her best friend plans the bachelorette party for a night at Stingers that the "Sunshine Calendar Men" are performing.

Now, I have to be honest. That shit does nothing for me. Crowd of people, all put on. Too fakey. Not my cup of tea.

We girls were in the back of the club, sittin' and standin' around one of the satellite bars. The guys were up on stage in the front of the club. We couldn't have seen a thing if we wanted too. So I guess someone told them what we were there for because at one point a couple of them danced their way back to us.

Now, these guys did have pretty incredible bodies. All toned and tanned. But, like I said - that atmosphere does nothing for me. Oh, and I'd been drinkin' a bit. ;-)

So I'm sitting on a bar stool in my cute little black spandex skirt and little top. I'm chair dancing and having a conversation with one of my friends. This dude dances up to me. I'm ignoring him. I guess he didn't like that. He spread my legs apart and started trying to dance in between them.

WTF?

Oh, and I might want to mention this guy was maybe, MAYBE 5'6". As he's trying to do what ever it is he's trying to do I finally stop my conversation and look at him. "Well well well. Aren't we a little man?!"

I meant height wise, honest I did.

He left.

My friends start crackin' up. I hear one of the yell over the music - "That, Tammi, is why you are not dating."

Maybe it's also why I haven't been invited to anymore bachelorette parties.

A Fish Story

I was a little homesick yesterday. Yes, I was missing Florida and some of my old habits.

You see, after a day at the beach I almost always went out to one of my favorite English Pubs for a bite to eat.

There'd I'd go, sand still glistening, flushed from the sun. Hair wet from that last dip in the water to refresh myself. All mellow from just relaxing for a day. Baggy shorts with a big denim shirt and my favorite flip flops. There was a wonderful English Pub just down from my condo. I'd get settled in a bar booth with my book and cigarettes. A nice ice cold beer would arrive in no time.

I love good fish and chips. ESPECIALLY after a day in the sun. The combination of salt, grease and beer - yummmmmmm. The prefect way to end a day. PERFECT.

So as I said, yesterday I was a little homesick. I went for lunch to just get away from "stuff" for a while. Oh, and I hadn't eaten the night before and I was STARVING.

I saw fish and chips on the menu. Sounded like just the ticket. Of course, this was no English Pub and I was definetly not feelin' like I had spent a day at the beach, but still - it seemed the perfect lunch.

Wrong.

The fish was fried til it was dry. The chips? Yeah, right. They did something weird to the tarter sauce and well damnit - I could't get a beer so that was a point against it right off the bat.

BUT - I did enjoy the waiting. I sat there thinking about my favorite Pub, remembering conversations and well, just running it all through my mind.

So it was ok the meal wasn't what I was used to. The walk down memory lane was worth the price.

Now - I just need to find a good place to get fish and chips up here!

A Glimpse

Here are a couple "excerpts" from my day today. The highlights so to speak.....

First thing this morning one of my co-workers shoves a drawing in front of my face. "What's that look like to you?" Folks - I'd had minimal coffee and I was feelin' a bit "off" - my mind went straight to the gutter. All I did was smile and turn away. He and the engineer look at each other, look at the drawing, look at each other and all you here is "Ewe - you are a sick, sick woman!!" Thank you very much for noticing guys! ;-)

There are some games being played. The advantage I have is they actually think I'm.....not so smart. Yeah. Right. So - I'm playing along. Today - I look one of the big bosses in the eye and make the volley. He sees the shot coming, even though it is wonderfully camouflage. He starts to back peddle. The light comes on in his eyes...."she's on to me. she's on to me." He returns the volley all the while seeing the look in my eye. I just smirk. I play along. He knows I know. Hehehehe. This could get fun.

We're finally getting winter weather tonite. Figures. I've got to drive to the suburbs of Chicago tomorrow. I have a broken windshield wiper and well, minimal heat. We're expecting snow, ice and rain. That is JUST my luck.

So - that is a brief glance into my day. Now? Now I'm off to hunker under a blanket and eat a bit of dinner. A book sounds good tonite. Oh and Army Wife is calling!!!! WooHoo!!!

What are you doin?

Huh???

A little help here, please!

Could y'all start posting a little earlier in the day for me? I mean, come-on - I'm looking for a little inspiration!!

Yesterday was a long, long day. I didn't think I'd ever see the clock hit 4:00. And that was just my goal to know I was almost THROUGH the day. 5:00 was an eternity.

Oh, I had no reason to rush home. I wasn't in the mood to cook (there's a surprise), was NOT going out to dinner by myself - are you NUTS?!? ON VD?? Sheesh. Had nothin' going on. I just wanted to be in my Little Blue Cracker House. Period.

So I get home, check the blogs and curled up with a book. Oh - and I've finally figured out why I've been waking up in the middle of the night feeling a bit "uneasy". Yeah - let's see if you can see the pattern. I'm reading ALL of Patricia Cromwell's Kay Scarpetta's series (Reading Blow Fly right now) - murder, death, stalking. On the TV is usually a rerun of CSI. Or some other show like it (there are, after all, so many now).

And in case you haven't noticed, most of the victims are WOMEN in these things. Oh, yeah - perfect relaxing reading for a woman alone who is obsessive with "feeling safe". Oh well, don't see that changing anytime soon.

But wait - I yet again digress. Yesterday, we were talkin' about yesterday.

Long damn day. Long damn frustrating day. AND it was only Tuesday. Holy Shit. Is this the longest week of the year or something? Did I miss that fact somewhere?

So I decided to work in my office last night. Just try and get things set up a bit more. I really want to hook up my printer. I miss it. I've been searching and searching for the printer chords. I just had a flash - I think I left the damn things connected to the old PC that I threw out in Florida. THERE'S evidence of brilliance on my part! Geesh. Then I decided to hook up my wireless router. Except I'm scared I'll screw something up. I've got this VONAGE broadband phone and I really don't need to be cutting myself off from the world like that. So I decided to wait until I was feeling a bit more patient before attempting something so complicated.

Finally, finally it was time to sleep. I checked to make sure the coffee pot was set, turned off lights, checked the locks and hunkered down. Next thing I know it's time for today. DAMN. Doesn't it just figure - time flies when you're actually enjoying yourself.

But today - today is finally Wednesday. I'm hoping to be in the mood to cook. I'm hoping to find a little laughter in my day. I'm hoping to NOT lose my temper at work. I'm hoping to get home tonite and actually have something to say.

The purpose of this post? Just my long winded way of sayin' - Nothin'. I got nothin'.

Funny

I've said it before, and I'll say it again - I ADORE that cartoon Maxine. Love Love Love. I want to be her when I eventually grow up.

Anyway - I got a slew of her new cartoons. I had to share this one tonite. It cracked me up!!!

Do you see the slight resemblence all ready?? LOL

Well Shucks!

Happy Valentines Day, Y'all.

How to Spend A Monday Night

WooHoo. I've been a busy girl tonite.

Let's see.........I got home and received a wonderful phone call from my dear friend (and blogdaughter) Lee Ann. It's been ages since we've talked - we have to do that again soon.

As our conversation was just starting to wind down I get another call. The number was from Melbourne Florida and I thought it was a contact at Simmons. I had contacted them and was waiting to hear back...so I said my goodbyes to Lee Ann and surprise surprise it was one of my dearest friends in Florida. I hadn't talked to her since November. So we have a wonderful chat.

In the meantime - Teresa called and I had to tell her I would call her back.

(She's watching 24 right now so we'll talk after it's over.)

What a GREAT way to spend an evening. I'm exhausted!!!! But smiling - oh yes I'm smiling. It made my Monday a very good day!

Auditions?

Have you ever seen the movie Raising Helen? It's a pretty damned good movie - not to mention has one of my new (to me) favorite actors in it. But yet again, I digress.

If you've seen it - remember the part where they make Helen audition on the mic at the car lot? To make sure she speaks clearly, pleasantly, friendly? Yeah well - tonite I realized that ain't such a bad idea at all!!

On the way home I stopped to get gas. I push the "pay inside" button and the most horrific, grating nasal voice screeches at me "Go 'head, pump 1". OMG. I swear I jumped at least a foot in the air.

What the hell were they thinking giving that, that voice any exposure? YIKES. I'm thinkin' I need to suggest to the station manager he start auditioning his clerks before he lets them get on the mic.

Holy cow. That was a hell of a way to end a Monday!!!

Sputter Start

You know what a sputter start is, right? When things just ain't connecting, the cylanders are just not firing right?

Yeah - that's me in the mornings lately. Very strange.

Take today for example. Last night I went to bed at a decent time. 10:00pm. I have always been a night owl so this whole sleep before midnight thing has only been since I've moved up here. Anyway - 10:00 and I'm snuggled down drifting off to Neverland.

I hear the coffee pot at 5:15am. The alarm goes off at 5:30. I hit the snooze for - A FLIPPIN' HOUR!!! WTF is up with that?!?!?!?!

Many mornings my cousin calls and we chat for about 45 mins. But I'm still usually sleeping when she calls. If she doesn't call - it turns into what happened today.

I'm missing my favorite part of the day! For NO reason.

The Tammi I know is usally up WITHOUT the alarm - no matter what time she goes to bed. The Tammi I know can hardly wait until the coffee is done before she is BOUNDING out of bed.

This is really screwing with me. I have said several times how I love routine. I'm a very routine oriented person. And my most precious routine is my wake up.

I need those 2 hours before I leave for work. It's a little bit of sanity before I lose all control. I don't know why this change in me - but damn......I'm really not too happy about it.

And the first person that leaves some "age" crack in the comments..............

Reminds Me of a Story

Jim at Parkway Rest Stop picks up on Eric - of Straight White Guy fame - talking about "some assembly required. Oh yeah - you know that's gotta spin off a Tammi story or 20.

Picture it - 2 girls, not either one the least bit mechanically inclined, decided to put together a bookcase. Should be a fairly easy project. There are directions. Plus the damn thing only has 2 sides, a top, a bottom and 5 shelves. How hard could it be?

Ha.

Ha. Ha. Ha.

So - we start out. Of course this was after several beers. SEVERAL beers. We get everything out of the package. Hmmm - not too many parts. Piece. Of. Cake.

We lay out the sides and attach the bottom piece. Then the top. OK. Time to stand this sucker up. Did I mention we'd had several beers? I do mean several, several.

Anyway - we go to stand this bad boy up. Huh. It won't budge. Again. Nothing.

Finally we realized we caught the flippin' shag in the carpet in between the boards. Well - shit. So we take it back apart and, while laughing our asses off, reassemble.

Did I mention we'd had several beers? Folks - we were drunk off our asses. Seriously. This project, which a normal person could do in about 10 mins, took us 45 mins. to complete. Undoing it took longer - due to our laughter.

Finally, finally we got it done. Stood it up and Voila!!! Some sort of wooden structure stood before us. We put the pegs in and slip the shelves into "place" and placed it in it's new spot against the wall.

The next day I stopped over to say good-bye before I left town. I only wish I had taken a picture of how badly those damned shelves slanted.

Yeah - never let a couple of drunk chicks assembly ANYTHING!!!

MUCH Better

Yep, you guessed. I "over indulged" a bit last evening.

I really needed to. Sometimes my head just rules my entire life. I think WAY too much, and it's important every now and again to just shut the brain off.

And, if you know me at all, you know I planned it. Oh yes I did. And it worked. My first thought when I woke up this morning? I can see clearly now! I'm not afraid to admit I really love that song. It's my favorite Karaoke project. But wait - I digress.

And before you ask - no there was no special reason for the evening. I just needed some down time. Some time when I didn't have a dozen conversations running through my mind. Some time when I just sat (or slept).

So today I'm making up for lost time. I've got a kitchen screaming for attention. A pot of beef stew begging to be made. Not to mention a couple loads of laundry. So you'll have to excuse me now - I've gotta get busy!!!!

Like Oil & Water

Trying to type in that funky code into Blogger comments when you're drunk - yeah, not so good.

I'm just sayin'.

A Sentimental Moment

I've been pretty lax with my linking of late. Oh - I'm reading, just not linking like I used to do.

But this - this needs mention.

I enjoy reading the DAX Files - and during my reading this afternoon I come upon this post of commitment and honor. Yeah, that's the best way I know to describe it.

Go - and read. It'll give you a tear, a smile and I'm willing to bet you'll find yourself saying that DAX phrase of "just damn...."

Hmmmm

Today the music was getting on my nerves. All of it. Anything I put on was like nails on a chalkboard.

It was like when you have a craving for something, but you just don't know what. Nothing else you try cuts it - it all tastes off.

That was me with the music this morning. I tried classical, nope. Rock, naaaa. Hard rock. UhUh. Then it hit me. I wanted Latin. Something deeply sensual, something that touches me all the way down to the bottom of my soul. Some thing that would make me FEEL.

Latin.

I have a passion for latino music. For a while I made my living teaching ballroom dancing. Oh, it's been years and I've forgotten almost all of it. Almost - except for the latin dances. I love to chacha. Samba. Rumba. Tango. I hear the beat and go. Go someplace hot and tropical. Some place lit only with candles where the air is heavy with the frangrance of lust.

Sound mello dramatic? Maybe. But it's the truth. I can't help but move when it's playing. I can't help but feel.

Problem is - I have no good latin cds. And the computer has no sound card. So - instead I'll just curl up on the couch with a good book and wait it out.

But in my mind - yeah - I'm hearin' it.

Fire! Fire!

When I first got married - long, long time ago - I didn't cook much. I knew how, so I thought, just didn't need to do it.

So fast forward about 4 years. My ex had told me he never wanted to see meatloaf served at our table. Got burnt out on it in the first marriage. So I didn't make it.

We had about 5 traveling lineman living in our home, a group of his drinking buddies. Let me tell you folks - it was tough coming up for different dinners for 6 drunks and 3 kids. Yikes!!

So one night he asks why I didn't make meatloaf. Was I stupid? Huh?!?! I didn't bother to try and explain - I knew better.

The next night I set out to do just that....make a meatloaf. For the first time. Ever. In my whole life. (get the picture?)

So - I bought 5 lbs of ground beef. Added some schtuff and started looking for a pan. Hmmmm meatloaf, probably ought to use a LOAF pan. So I pulled out my bread pan and made the prettiest lookin' meatloaf ever. EVER.

Our oven was a really, really, really old gas range. I put the pan in the oven and got to thinkin' about where the grease would go. So brilliant Tammi puts a piece of tin foil on the rack below - to catch it, don't ya see.

Well - everyone get's home, and everything SMELLS wonderful. They are all in the living room and I check on dinner. Hmmmm a lot of grease on that tin foil. I better dump it.

(you see where this is going already, don't ya?)

For some reason I pulled the pan out with one hand and grabbed the tinfoil with the other. As I pulled, the grease all ran right down in the the really really old gas oven. Fire shot from the inner core. Scorched my hair, my face - but the meatloaf was saved.

All you heard from the living room was "*ckin' FIRE!!!" as they charged into the kitchen. By the time the idiots got there it was all fine. However - I have never lived it down. My Flaming Meatloaf is the thing of legends.

I made a meatloaf last night. No fire. It was just really, really good. But I had to giggle while I was putting it together......Flamin' Meatloaf. Damn - sometimes I scare myself.

You Won't Win

It's kinda funny how things all tie together. I was sitting at a local restaurant the other day listening to a couple of women talking during lunch. Now these weren't young college girls. These ladies were in their 30's - at least. I bring this up only so you realize they really should have known better.

From what I could gather the one girl was getting ready to move in with her boyfriend (or vis versa, whatever). She was going on and on about how *this* bothers her and *that* bothers her. But that'll all change once they are living together.

Now folks she wasn't talkin' about little things, like leaving a glass on the table or his clothes in the bathroom. She was talking traits, long term habits, preferences. I just wanted to turn around and tell her to GROW UP. Those things ain't goin' away. And trying to change those will only hurt/piss off everyone involved.

In my list of lessons below I mention I never get that people change. By that I mean we grow, we evolve. But in essence we stay WHO WE ARE. I will always laugh the way I do. If it bothers you then you probably don't want to hang around me. I talk. A lot. You don't like it? Stay away. I am a creature of habit. Oh-I change those habits/routines, but it's not easy. I like routine. Get on your nerves? Sorry, but it is what it is.

Harvey brought up this very point in his post the other day. If you love someone you love them for who they ARE, not who they COULD BE. Not everyone is perfect - thank GOODNESS. So when you choose those you want to be with, friends or other, you should choose based on how you fit together. How you compliment each other. Shame on you if you go into any relationship thinking You are the savior. You can make them happy. You can fix their lives.

I did that once. Yeah - didn't work out so well for me. THAT is one lesson I learned - the hard way.

I like you just the way you are.

Lessons I just Can't Seem to Learn

1) Not everyone takes the high road.

2) Some people really *ARE* that stupid

3) You can't analyze your way out of everything

4) Not everyone is going to like nor respect you - no matter what you do

5) If you stay up reading until 1:00am you WILL feel tired the next morning when the alarm goes off at 5:30am

6) 1 + 1 does not always equal 2

7) Thursday ALWAYS follows Wednesday (I keep tryin' to push Friday up a day)

8) People change

9) There really aren't any Laundry Fairies

10) When to shut-up

But I Don't Wanna

**please read in whiney voice of your choosing**

It's late. Like 8:00am late. I've been up since 5:30am. I'm still in my jammies. I'm supposed to be at work by 8:00am.

Yeah - I think I'm gonna be late.

But my head hurts and I'm cranky. I've had this flippin' headache since Sunday - this damned eye infection has decided to relocate. Yipee.

So - I'm sitting here. Can't think of a thing to say that's worth saying. Don't have a thought in my head as to what I'm going to wear. Have no desire to go into the office. I was a bit cranky yesterday - today doesn't look to be much better.

I don't wanna go to work. I just don't wanna.

There - I feel a bit better now. But I still don't wanna go.

Cuttin' Loose

I mentioned I'm goin' on a little trip in March. Just a little get away weekend. I need to step away from the day to day insanity and just have some good, ole fashioned fun.

Oh, I have fun. I laugh. A lot. But I need to cut loose. REALLY cut loose. And THAT I don't do very often.

And in order to do that there is a criteria. (of course there is, I'm Tammi. It's what I do.) I have to be with people that I trust without question. Period. I need to know that no matter what - it's ok. AND I need to know what ever I do/say/whatever won't come back to haunt me.

I never realized that I've become, over the years, kinda "hung up". I'm getting stodgy. YIKES. My favorite saying is I don't shit where I eat. Period. Why would I make things more difficult than they already are? That's never made sense to me.

I jealously keep my personal life away from my job. I haven't always been that way - but after leaving Tropicana it's just been my way. My life is my own. I don't need my co-workers knowing how much I enjoy tequila or how I really prefer short skirts to pants. I had a boss one time try to fix me up with his best friend. I just thanked him for the compliment and told him NO. There are certain things about me he will NEVER know - not first hand or second.

Anyway - I'm really looking forward to this little trip. I know I'll be laughing. I can bet I'll be dancing. I can hardly wait.

I wasn't gonna do it....

....but after seeing how damned accurate this quiz was over at Carmen's place I just had to try it. Yes, I've seen it else where and was able to resist the temptation - but her's is almost dead on. It was just too much to resist.

Holy Shit. Yet again, I'm lookin' for the frickin' video cameras. This is almost scary right.

Your Five Factor Personality Profile

Extroversion: You have high extroversion. You are outgoing and engaging, with both strangers and friends. You truly enjoy being with people and bring energy into any situation. Enthusiastic and fun, you're the first to say "let's go!" Conscientiousness: You have medium conscientiousness. You're generally good at balancing work and play. When you need to buckle down, you can usually get tasks done. But you've been known to goof off when you know you can get away with it. Agreeableness: You have medium agreeableness. You're generally a friendly and trusting person. But you also have a healthy dose of cynicism. You get along well with others, as long as they play fair. Neuroticism: You have medium neuroticism. You're generally cool and collected, but sometimes you do panic. Little worries or problems can consume you, draining your energy. Your life is pretty smooth, but there's a few emotional bumps you'd like to get rid of. Openness to experience: Your openness to new experiences is medium. You are generally broad minded when it come to new things. But if something crosses a moral line, there's no way you'll approve of it. You are suspicious of anything too wacky, though you do still consider creativity a virtue.

Hey! A little respect here.....

....PLEASE.

Imagine my surprise - no HORROR when I pop over to my beloved blogdaughter (and previous friend)'s site and see THIS!!!!

Me? And Kathy Griffin???

Damn - I hope not. But honestly - those of you that know me? What do you think??????

May Lee Ann. MAY. Just keep that thought in mind.....

;-)

It's Out!!

If you didn't get to see my friend's movie WAITING when it was in the theater, don't you worry. Today it is released in DVD.

WooHoo. I'm so proud of Rob. It's not every day you live your dream. Oh and that link? It's to his blog - gotta love the warning page!!!

So hurry up - go and get it!!!

Hook Interviewed!

I'm soooo damned jealous!!

I just read over at Sgt. Hook's place that there's an interview posted over at My Music Highway. It rocks. Although I didn't learn anything new - I've been reading since he started blogging - I did find myself smiling and nodding.

Go ahead - go read it. Meet my friend Sgt. Hook.

Let Down

Ok - I've not been feelin' 100%. I've got this, this issue with my eye. It started last week and by Friday I looked like a flippin' cyclops. Yeah, not a good look for me, just so you know.

So I broke down and went to the doctor. I do NOT like doctors. I carry insurance but pride myself on the fact I rarely use it. So you know I was feelin' like crap on Friday if it got me to the doctor.

We figure out (eventually) it's an eye infection. Don't know how/when/why, but that's what it was. The drops he gave me are working great, in fact I look almost normal already!! Well, for me anyway.

Doc told me he wanted me to stay home from work until Wednesday. WEDNESDAY?!?!? Sure, no problem. ;-)

So I was home today. Lounging, reading, just relaxing. It was a wonderful day. Tonite I had to get my hair cut. I love that. I get pampered, deep condition (mind OUT of gutter guys!) and generally spoiled. It's one of my favorite things.

Given all that, can anyone explain why - half way home - I suddenly get so damned tired I can't keep my eyes open? I wanted to stop at Fritz's for a few beers and some taco salad and next thing I know I'm ordering it to go. Holy Cow - that's sooooo not like me.

So here I sit, in my jammies with my untouched taco salad too tired to even try to eat it. In fact, I was nodding off while waiting for this flippin' screen to come up.

Hmmmm - maybe I'll have to schedule another appointment just so I can appreciate the spoiling more next time. I'd hate to think I'd miss that this month.

An Oldie But A Goodie

Got this via email. Made me chuckle.....

One morning, a husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to
take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, his wife decides to take
their boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and takes out her
book. Along comes a game warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman
and says, "Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?"

"Reading a book," she replies (thinking, "Isn't it obvious?!").

"You're in a restricted fishing area," he informs her.

"I'm sorry, Officer, but I'm not fishing, I'm reading."

"Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any
moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up."

"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says the
woman.

"But I haven't touched you," says the game warden.

"That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know, you could
start at any moment."

"Have a nice day, ma'am," he said...and quickly left.

MORAL OF STORY: NEVER ARGUE WITH A WOMAN WHO READS. IT'S LIKELY SHE CAN ALSO THINK.

Most Excellent

Harvey has a great find!!!

He's posting about Dove's Real Beauty campaign. It's a great project and one that is (sadly) very much needed.

Head on over and check it out. Pay attention. There is some very important points in there!!

Thanks Harvey!!!

My 2nd Favorite Day

I love Super Bowl Sunday. Seriously. It's got all my favorite things.

I heard them say yesterday that it is the 2nd largest "eating day" of the year - right behind Thanksgiving. How true. How true.

I just had a ball. I cooked a pot-o-stuff, baked a cake, had some snacks. Had people over (always something I love) new ads to watch AND there was football!!!

WooHoo

Add to that I've always been a Stones' fan and I hit the jackpot.

I didn't want the day to end. I just kept sayin' "This is my Christmas" and then of course giggling like a damned school girl. And that was NOT drinking. I don't think they could have taken it if I had been indulging in the necter. :-)

Now it's over. And unlike Christmas it's reaallllyyy over. There are no Day After Sales, no decorations still up. It's done. Finished. I gotta wait til spring training.

But yesterday was grand. I won one quarter of the football board, saw the Steelers become world champs and spent a day with some of my favorite people.

What's not to love?!?

It's The BIG GAME!!!

Today. Today is SuperBowl 40. WooHoo.

Yes, I fully realize my Buc's are sittin' at home watching just like I am. I'm alright with that (now). Next year. NEXT year. You just watch and see.

Meanwhile - I'm pullin' for The Steelers!!! One of my closest friends is a HUGE Steelers fan and for her sake alone I'd love to see them win. I just wish I were in Bradenton to watch the game with her. That would be some kinda fun. But that's not the only reason I'd like to see them pull this off. I love The Bus. Good ole' Bettis. A SuperBowl win would be the crowning jewel in a GREAT career. (Plus, you do realize he's a Fighting Irish-right?!?!?)

That all being said - I want a good game. I want a close game. I have nothing against the Seahawks - I just want the Steelers to win. I'd love to see Joey play the game of his life. (He's SUCH a nice boy!) I've got a soft spot for him (tall, good looking, family man. Oh - and former Buc!)

I have a few folks comin' over and I better get into the kitchen. Today - we're having Jambalya (with sauasage, shrimp AND chicken), cornbread and turtle cake. I'm making some yummy snacks and the bar is stocked. I just couldn't find the right beer - but I think we can resolve that.

It's gonna be a good day. Hell - it's SuperBowl Sunday!!!!!!!

Ripple

It seemed surreal last night. I was sitting on my couch getting ready to watch a friend of mine on CNN talking about the MSM's coverage of our Military in the Sandbox.

I was nervous. Would they let him speak? Would they let him make his point? Would they LISTEN?

As it come closer and closer to his segment I realized how much life has changed. How much POWER each of us has.

I've heard people say that one person cannot make a difference. Hogwash. I see it every day. Hell - I live it.

I see it with Blackfive, I see it with Sgt. Hook and Smash. I see it with Teresa, and Army Wife. I like to think that every once in a while something I write makes you think about things differently.

But regardless - it's important to know, beyond a shadow of a doubt that we, each and every one of us can make a difference. We just have to put forth the effort. You may not realize it at the time but, just think about it......

It just takes one pebble, one word, one action. That's all. Just one.

And the winner is.....

.....no one. No one guessed that Blackfive would be wearing, (as T1G says) a powder blue shirt (personally I think it was more SKY blue, but then again, I'm no expert).

BUT - seriously - GREAT JOB Matt!! I love that you didn't let them "push you around" and that you said what you needed to say - even though I'm willing to bet there was a bit of editing goin' on.

I say no one won - but in all honesty - we all won. All of us that want to hear the GOOD NEWS, all of us that want to hear THE TRUTH. We Won.

Thank you Matt. And thank you T1G & BloodSpite for bringing attention to this whole thing. Even while we laughed - you know there were a boatload of people watching. And getting the story out is the most important thing.

Vouchin'

I know I know - I still don't have my damned "Harvey Quote" up yet - but there are just so many to choose from....it's takin' me a while.

In the mean time, I wanna vouch for one funny funny lady. And her SITE is wonderful - ya gotta love someone that has the beach as part of their banner. And she ROCKS.

SO - without futher ado, I vouch for Moogie over at Moogie's World. I want her in my Clan, that's for sure!!!!

Bet's are ON!

This is some funny shit.

I've already posted today about Blackfive's CNN appearance, and the efforts that have gone into his, well, appearance.

NOW - T1G is taking wagers on what color shirt he'll be wearing.

You all remember.....oh, hell. Just go on over - T1G's got the background. Read it and put in your guess. If you're correct you might just win a really cool prize.

But then again, I've already put in my 2 cents and I think I might just be dead on!!!!

On the Boob Tube

Tonite is a big night. One of my favorite people is going to be on CNN's On The Story. Blackfive is going to be talking about the coverage of the Journalists that were wounded recently by the IED. It's on CNN at 7:00est, 6:00central. Put it on your calendars. You don't want to miss this folks.

What you might not have realized is the story behind the story. You see - Matt is really a simple man. I'd almost call him low maintenence. But this is INTERNATIONAL TELEVISION so he wants to put his best foot forward.

T1G breaks the story over at Drunken Wisdom. He has managed to get a photo of Blackfive preparing for his big shot. I have to say, I'm proud of Matt for admitting he needed the help to get ready. Hell, even Super Models have a staff when getting ready for a big shoot.

But you see - even that isn't the FULL story. T1G, being the humble guy that he is, didn't want anyone to know the part HE played in pulling this "make-over" off. But Bloodspite has no qualms. HERE is the bottome line.

So - to recap - we have Blackfive on CNN tonite at 7:00est/6:00ct. Be sure to watch it. He's got important things to say. Well, that and he LOOKS MARVELOUS!!!!!

Lighten The Mood

Things have been a bit "heavy" here in Tammi's world - so I think I'll lighten things up a bit. Afterall - it is Friday!! Sunday IS the Superbowl (GO STEELERS!!) And, well, I wanna laugh damnit!! So I thought I'd share some pictures.

First - Gasparilla was just in Tampa. DAMN IT! I missed it. First time in 11 years. I can't share most of the pictures because they are of people I know - but here's a couple - just so you can get the feel for the weekend.

I just thought this next one was funny.

This last one just seemed so damned appropriate after my start with Pilate's.

Y'all have a great Friday!!!!!

Possible TMI

I'm going to try and explain something with this post. Not because I need to but because I want to. I'm hoping that it might help someone. Anyone. And - I just think it's something that people need to keep in the back of their minds.

Even smart, confident, good people have problems. Yes. Yes, it's true. And those issues/problems are real. They're serious. They are demons that haunt them. And NOT something that should be laughed at or made small. ESPECIALLY by mean, vindictive people that think they are better than everyone else. Especially those that take pleasure from other peoples pain.

Let me see if I can explain what I'm getting at here.

I have often mentioned my weight. And I blog/talk enough about food and cooking that y'all pretty well know how much I love to cook and eat. But I wonder if you realize why.

I have an eating disorder. Have since I was 14. Pretty serious as a matter of fact.

I was always over thin. It came in handy when I was young and just started modeling. And everyone always commented on it. I was known as the "Tall Skinny Girl". That was my moniker and there was nothing to be done about it.

Then at the ripe old age of 14 I started to develop hips. There was no "female talk" in our house, even though it was just Mama, my sister and I. Mama had been raised Amish and didn't really have a good handle on "worldly issues" like this. So - I just decided I was getting fat and went on a diet. I ran, worked out and played basketball. Pretty fit. And the not eating took care of any extra poundage to be found on the thighs/hips. Then one day a group of us were out dancing and a "friend" told me my ass shook like jelly when I danced in jeans. I was mortified. To this day I do not go out dancing in jeans.

I started dieting harder. Pretty soon I just quit eating all together. I became pretty good at faking it at meals and no one caught on. Because I had always been so thin, no one thought anything of it. It was just my metabolism.

By the time I got to college it was getting out of control. One of my profs figured out what was going on and they put me in counseling. OK - fine. If I must I must. They made me eat. I had "guardians" at each meal. I was told if I missed a meal I would be put in the hospital. Period.

So I ate. But I had a secret. I had discovered that if I ate a box of ex-lax just before or after eating I didn't gain weight. They never caught on. Ever.

Because they were making me eat I rediscovered the joys of food. I started cooking and giving all the food away. I started "food talking". Sharing recipes that I never actually ate. Just cooked. And I talked about food - a lot. It became my hobby.

The following years were not pretty. I spent time in the hospital, I was always sick. All I could think about was doing WHATEVER it took to not get fat. Everything about how I identified myself was wrapped up in that. Silly? Stupid? Yes. But real thoughts none the less. It was controling my life.

Finally in my mid twenties I gave up. I kicked the ex-lax and just started watching what I ate. My weight fluctuated every now and again, but I managed to control it. But I was still uber critical of my appearance. Anything over 118 lbs was bad. Bad bad bad. Folks - I'm 6'2". I'm supposed to weigh 160lbs min. I finally got my weight up to 140 and stayed pretty much there for years.

I don't own a scale. When I go to the doctor they cannot tell me what I weigh. I can't know. If I do - I get stuck on that damned 118 again and that's just all bad. I will go to my grave only knowing what size I wear, not what I weigh. I can't.

In my mind I know the healthy thing, I know the right thing - but it's not about intelligence. It's all mixed up. There is no logic to it.

A side effect of all the ex-lax is that I've totalled screwed up my system. Totally. I have serious stomach issues and there is nothing that can be done to correct that. It's the effect of all those stupid desperate years.

And still - everyone commented on how thin I was. It was how everyone knew me. If a guy wanted to hurt me he told me I was fat. It worked. Every time.

Now - fast forward to today. Many of you have commented/emailed that this whole diet thing is not necessary. I thank you for your kind words. But you must realize when I look in the mirror I do not see what you see. I see 50lbs heavier. No lie. And I am actually heavier now than I've ever been. I know that by how my clothes fit (or don't fit). I'm not looking at dropping a boat load of weight. Just enough. And I'm doing it smart. Eating several small meals a day and exercising. No stupid tricks. Not one.

I no longer identify myself by my weight. That is something I learned a long time ago - but some of the old thought process is there. At night. When it's dark. When things get rough that flippin' demon comes back to whisper in my ear that I'm alone because I'm fat. I KNOW BETTER - but that doesn't stop the thoughts. THAT is what I'm trying to say. I'm not stupid. I'm not a freak. And I KNOW I'm not the only person that deals with this stuff.

I tell this story because of what they are putting me through at work. (other than the normal shit) They think it's funny that I'm trying to watch what I eat. They don't understand that when I say I'm addicted to donuts I'm serious. I could eat a dozen in one sitting. No problem. Every day. It's almost as bad a smoking for me. And I'll be real honest - after doing that (or something damned near close) I think about the bulimia. I don't do anything stupid. But I think it.

So how do they support me? By leaving donuts in the drawers of my desk. By leaving them on my folders. By walking by carrying a box. By baking cookies and brownies and putting them on my desk. And then making fun of me when I say no. Oh - the making fun of doesn't bother me. I could give a rat's ass about that. It's the fact that they think it's all such a joke. Makes me wonder....if I said I was an alcoholic would they leave drinks around? (that might not be a bad idea - good way to get through the day)

But seriously....think about it next time some one says they have an issue. You may not understand it. It might seem stupid to you. But to them....it's real. To them....it's painful. It's their demon.

And if you can't be supportive......shut the hell up.

Permission?!?!?!?

On the way to work this morning I heard something that just really caught my attention.

They were talking about a couple of newlyweds. The woman had called in and complained because her husband was going out three nights a week with his friends and leaving her home alone. He and his friends even bought season tickets for some sporting team that didn't include any of the wives.

Seems she was a bit pissed off about the situation.

The question they put forth to the "radio audience" was "How many times a week should a man be allowed to go out with his friends?"

Ok - I got soooo many issues with this.

1) I would think they would want to spend time together. If he's goin' out so much then somethin' ain't clickin' at home. I'm just sayin'.

2) ALLOWED? ALLOWED????? I may be divorced, but I do have a few ideas about relationships and what works and what doesn't. Permission is not something that needs to be granted in a relationship. Clearing schedules, communication? YES. Permission? No. I cannot imagine asking or granting permission for anything in an adult relationship. Period.

Oh, let's talk about it - to make sure things don't get crossed and everyone knows what is going on. But if you wanna go - GO.

I so believe it is important that partners have seperate lives. You come into a relationship as two whole people. Being together creates a great TEAM. No one should lose their individuality or independence. Go out. Have a good time. But sometimes, go out together. Surely you have mutual friends? Right? Geez folks!!!

Anyway - that just tripped my wire and I thought I'd share it. What are your thoughts????

Spoiled - That's Me

I'm soooo spoiled.

Yesterday I got a care package. From my sister/cousin and blogdaughter Carmen in Florida.

I had requested some jambalaya spices and such so I could make a pot for the superbowl. I got 12 family size packages. Yummmyyyyy.

And.....

My Pilate's DVD.

And - here's the kicker. S had told me she was sending me something for my healthy addiction and my unhealthy addicition. I figured jambalaya and Pilate's. The Pilate's would fall under my "unhealthy addiction" of hurting myself. (like I really do that on purpose! blech)

But nooooo.....I got CANDLES!!! WooHoo!!!! 4 dozen candles!!!!

Wait. This could turn into a "perfect evening" package. Pilate's to work out the tension after a day at work, and the makings for a candle lite dinner. DAMN - Thanks Chickies. It's even better than I first thought.

She's HERE!!!!!

I'm starting to see a pattern here. If you go to my blogroll and check out MY KIDS, what you'll find are some of the most beautiful, intelligent, humorous women I've known. I'm very proud to be associated with each and every one of them.

And today I'm thrilled to introduce you to another incredible woman that is joining our ranks. My beloved (used to be blogless) niece Carmen. You'll find her at I'll Do What I Wanna Do....Gosh!!

She's been reading over here (and lurking on some of your sites) for a while now - mostly since I moved back up north. Most of the jokes I share are her's and if you get a chance to read the comments here, you may have picked up on her smart ass humor. (yes, we really are related)

Well - now she's not just my niece - she's my blogdaughter. And you are gonna love her!!!! She's funny and smart. And she can write! I'm hoping she'll share some of her fiction with us as she gets more comfortable with this whole "blogging" thing.

She's stolen my "about me" post and shares a bit of insight into who she is. She's a busy girl, so I'm just hoping for semi-regular postings. Between school (where she is kickin' ass grade wise) a full time job (where she is a shining star) and her BF (whom I still have to meet to "approve" but we like him already) she's got a few things going on. I'm just so happy she's going to be blogging - she's got talent and things to share. Plus she's just funny as hell!!!

So head on over and give her a big welcome!!!

Damn - I got me some pretty cool blogdaughters!! I couldn't be prouder!