Now, before I get started let me just say I'm NOT depressed. Not at all. Just thoughtful. I had some windshield time the other day (extra as it seems I'm incapable of going anywhere and not getting lost) and that just gave me extra time to think. My evenings have been very quiet - more time in my head. So - add those things together and you get......thoughtful.
As a society it just seems we've lost our ability for long term commitment. I mean, look at my boss. He truly believes that his employees are disposable. Easily replaceable. Gone without a 2nd thought.
Think about the products we buy in the stores anymore. I own a disposable toilet brush, disposable wipes for mirrors, counters, polishing. And it's not just about convenience. It's not easy to remember to stock up on those damned things. The only thing they do is keep me from having to wash rags in the laundry as often.
And what about relationships? Is it just me, or do people just not take vows or promises to Love Honor and Cherish as seriously as they used to? Or even NOT take them at all - in many cases simply because they don't have too?
Friendships fall into that same category. I have news for you folks - if I call you friend - you're in. Period. When I let you into my "inner circle" that comes with my promise to care, support, help, and..yes, cherish. My friends are important to me. Their friendship is a gift that I CHERISH and with that comes a responsibility to be there. Not just in the happy dappy good times, but when it's dark and windy. When it hurts. Have you ever noticed how many people seem to walk away in those times? It makes me sick when I see that happen.
Maybe my family is right - I was just born 50 years to late. I'm the first to admit I'm an old fashioned kind of girl. Plain and simple. And sometimes I just want to stand up and yell - Hey! Folks!! Life is so much better if you just commit! And it is. There is something special about having a history. There is something so comforting about sharing a connection. That goes for people and things. I don't know about you but I have items in my house that, every time I look at them they bring a smile. They remind of a time, place or person. It's there - a connection. A history.
I get laughed at a lot because I have a story for everything. Everything in my house. I can tell you how I got it, when, and why. It's even worse for my Christmas decorations. It extends to my clothing. EVERYTHING has a history. Often times, when it's quiet, I think about those I love. I remember when and how I met them. I think about how much they mean to me. I wonder what I could possibly do to let them know how cherished they are.
It just seems that everything has just become so damned disposable. And that is sad. Oh, I appreciate convience as much as the next girl - but sometimes the easy way is just not the right way. Sometimes we need to keep in mind that old sayin' - anything worth having is worth working for. Sometimes the old fashioned way is just better.
Posted by Tammi at January 27, 2006 06:59 AMI think people today tend to be more, "What can you do for me." than "what can we do for each other." That makes a difference in how they look and treat the world.
Posted by: Contagion at January 27, 2006 07:59 AMYou are so right, and while that's sad, there are still some of us out here who value loyalty, commitment and honor... and I too, have a story for much of the items sitting around my home, the clothes I wear and the Christmas decorations tucked away safely in my closet. I makes me feel good to have all these 'things', not because of what they are or how much they might have cost, but because of who gave them to me or who I was with when they were purchased.
With my things about me, I can feel that connection to loved ones, past and present.
Yep, I understand. ;)
Posted by: pam at January 27, 2006 08:06 AMWe are in the "Throw it out, get a new one" era. Sadly, some folks apply that motto to every aspect to their lives, and it is kinda sad. I have even seen people buy a brand new artificial Christmas tree, decorate it beautifully, and then throw it out on the curb the day after Christmas, only to do the very same thing the next year. Imagine what those folks do with their personal lives? *shudder* Ish...No thanks.
Great post!
Posted by: Sarah at January 27, 2006 09:49 AMA great post, and a lot of good food for thought. Though, if you were born 50 years too late, that makes me closer to 100 years out of time...
Posted by: Laughing Wolf at January 27, 2006 09:54 AMFigurin' out time ain't my strong suit LW. Too much math involved... My figurin' goes somethin' like this.... If it's dark, it's night, if it's light, it's day.;)
It was a good post though Tammi. Made me think a bit about some things. What scares the livin' dog snot out of me is that children are growin' up seein' the same things you are writin' 'bout. The part about it that scares me is that from their young lives, they know no other way then "disposable".
"Items" are disposable. Memories, acheivements, friendships, are not. They can't be. You have to do somethin' other then get your pocket book out to acquire those things. They're part of your soul. You can't buy 'em. You have to get those things the ol' fashioned way... you have to earn 'em.
Posted by: RedNeck at January 27, 2006 06:06 PMI feel I should invest time in people for them to invest time in me... It's not JUST about what I get out of the relationship, it's what can I GIVE as well! The problem I have is that I am brutally honest at times, and if someones asks my opinion, I warn them in advance that they shouldn't ask if they don't want to know. I have lost friends because of that. Apparently I'm disposable to them, but they aren't to me so I wait until they get over their fit and make them talk to me again!
Posted by: ktreva at January 27, 2006 06:34 PM... my Mother told me yesterday that I should have been born in the 1800s... I think it was a compliment....
Posted by: Eric at January 28, 2006 04:30 PM