Tammi's World

Tired

Tired, burnt out, exhausted and really - other than dealing with the stress and not sleeping - I shouldn't be.

We've gotten a lot done, more to do and we leave on Saturday.

I can't believe I'm saying this - but I'm ready to go. Now.

Oh, I love my little house, and I still don't have a new home. BUT - I'm sick of the boxes. I'm sick of the chaos. I'm just ready to go.

I'm so tired I can't even find the energy to type any of the funny/stupid stories so far. And trust me - there are plenty of them.

But suffice to say - we're busy. I may actually get caught up on my blogging once I get to Florida for vacation.

But for now - packing calleth.

BTW - anyone lookin' to buy a good 3 month old washer/dryer set for a great price? Or a very pretty oak wall unit/entertainment center? Drop me a line!

Happy LATE Birthday

I'm a bad blogmama.

I missed my oldest's birthday.

Quality Weenie had a birthday last week. Happy Happy Birthday Darlin'.

I've been searchin' and searchin' for a gift - and this is the best I could find.

May this year be the best ever - full of love, promise, joy and laughter!!

BTW - I'm rather partial to the one in the middle of the back row - just in case you're feelin' generous and all. ;-)

Cuz

I need to tell y'all about my Cousin. I know, with her up here she probably won't see this - and I'm kind of glad. You see, while I'm pretty good at letting folks know I care, that they matter - I'm not so good any more at telling you HOW MUCH you matter, how special you really are. I don't know why - but there you have it.

But enough of that - let me tell about this amazing woman.....

Our mothers were sisters. I say were because her mother passed when she was 8 years old. But Mama Vi took her responsibilities seriously - plus she just loved S to pieces, so we all stayed fairly close.

I am the oldest child in my immediate family. But I never felt like it. S was always my big sister. There are untold numbers of photos with us, standing or laying together, her with a protective arm around me. She has been my savior for as long as I can remember.

Her daddy moved her and the family to Florida when she was 13. She came to visit a few times, even came to stay with us during some tough times - but it all boiled down to her in Florida and us in Northern Indiana. You guessed it - we drifted. She married and had 2 children. I married. About 13 years ago she finally made it back up north to visit family. She stayed with us a few days and it was like we had never been apart.

Next thing you know we're going on vacation together. Then - I decided to come visit on my own. It was sitting on the beach while visiting her that I realized I had to get a divorce. She was the one I talked it over with. She had been down the same path I had and I have always trusted her advice.

When I finally left - within 5 months I was living in St. Pete. Her family took me in like I had always been a fixture. Her children call me Aunt Tammi because no matter what the paperwork says - S is my sister.

Over the past 10 years she has held me when I cried of a broken heart, listened to me ramble about the next exciting adventure, watched me find jobs (over and over again) and counciled me when I was confused. (ok - that last part seems to be a lot more than I care to admit.) Never has she judged me. She loves me for just who and what I am.

Oh - we are as different as two people can be. She is so practical, responsible, careful. Not to mention she is the most independent person I have ever met. But she also treasures family. She's a Mom, a Grandma, a Sister, a daughter.

She knows me better than anyone in this life. She knows how I think (or don't depending on the situation). She knows what I love and hate. And still she loves me. Unconditionally.

She flew up here from Florida to help me. As you know, we didn't know how this was all going to pan out. But still - she is here. She was stressing as much last week as I was. Her relief - while different than mine - was just as strong. I know she'd like me to move back down there. It's hard when all we have is the phone. But she understands - again. And now she's helping me rebuild a life up here.

I thank God everyday for her. I don't know what I've ever done to deserve her love and friendship - but I'm more grateful than I can ever say.

Memorial Day - Updated

Today is a day to remember. A day to not just feel the gratitude but express it.

Today is Memorial Day.

So many bloggers express it all so much better than I....

Army Wife has several post up that you really need to see.

Blackfive and his posse, as always, remind us of the sacrifice made by so many.

BloodSpite has a beautiful tribute posted.

ALa at Blonde Sagacity shares a beautiful Memorial Day Observance.

Added:
Laughing Wolf has, as always, a fantastic series for Memorial Day Part I, Part II, Part III and this beautiful tribute

And that's just a few. Be sure and check back - I'll add to the list as I can.

I found this poem by David Lawson - and it needs to be shared. It says what's in my heart better than I ever could.

Backwards

It's 1 degree hotter here in Northern Illinois than it is in St. Pete Florida right now.

91 degrees. It's not even June yet.

Hmmmmmm.

It better warm up down there before next weekend!!!!

;-)

Extra Bonus

Oh, somethin' else about the job I just found out.

A few years ago I worked for a certain company. I had issues with my boss and the company's integraty.

However - I did meet LeeAnn and her hubby there - so it wasn't all bad.

But it was a company that I've often wished bad things for.

I found out that one of my responsibilities will be managing our outside contractors.

The company is one of them.

I cannot wait until they get the memo tellin' them they now have to work through me.

Oh, I'll be professional. But you see - I know they falsify data, lie on reports and many other things. They know that - it's one of the reasons I gave them when I quit.

It's a good example of how you should be careful who you shit on. It might just come back and bite you in the ass.

Big time.

:-)

This is gonna be fun.

Expedia Is Off My List

Or maybe I should say it's now ON my bad list.

Last night we booked the flights for Florida. We are leaving Saturday - I'm coming home on the 11th.

Somehow we accidently booked my flights 2x. Cuz called Expedia immediately. I mean within a minute.

They said we could either canx. the flights and have a credit to use later or canx the entire transation and be charged $30. Oh - and it'll take anywhere from 30-60 days for her to have the money credited back to her credit card.

Even though they saw what happened and we called immediately.

No exceptions. Up to 60 days to return the money.

I have a problem with that. A big one.

They just lost my business. And with the travelin' I'll be doin' that's sayin' something.

Customer Service. It only takes one small thing to lose a customer. Companies seem to forget that anymore. I think it's time to remind them.

It's a Sin

It's no secret I've moved. A lot.

Let's see.....

I was married for 11 years. We lived in 6 houses in 11 years. Not toooo bad.

Oh, and I left him 2x in that period - so there's a total of 10 moves in 11 years. Still - there are some that have me beat in that department.

Then....I got divorced. Moved to an apartment just outside of Chicago. Got transfered to Tampa 4 months later. Moved into a little house in St. Pete. 2 months later moved to an apartment in Bradenton. Stayed there 2 years - and moved to Orlando for a job. They shipped me (long term temporary) to Chicago. I hated it, quit and went back to Floria. Lived with Cuz and some friends for a while until I bought my condo. Lived there (while remodeling) for 3 years. Moved to Tampa. Got transfered with my job and moved to Orlando. Then it was the Postage Stamp house, then The Little Blue Cracker House.

So - I've got a bit of moving experience behind me.

I've also got a ton of shit. Oh, I've pared down A LOT since Orlando. But still.

And through all but 2 of the moves since my divorce, Cuz has been there to help me. She can tell you EVERYTHING I own. Seriously. She called 2 weeks ago and wanted to know if I'd bought anything new cause she made a list to figure out what size truck we needed to get. She had everything listed. It was kinda scary.

But what she didn't count on was the quantity of some items I have.

I'm talkin' about the hangers.

I hate wire hangers. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. So I have those nice pastic hangers - plain, with clips for pants and skirts and also hooks for those sleevless tops (so they don't keep slippin' off).

I have also, always had more clothes than some retail stores. I've gotten rid of a lot. Seriously - I would say that in the past week I've cut my wardrobe in half. At least.

Every time Mama would come and visit she would buy more hangers. I truly had a hanger for every item of clothing I owned. (well except jammies and other unmentionables.)

We sent 40 home with TNT the other day.

We figure, right now -- we have at least 2000 still here.

I'm thinkin' for the yard sale "you get a dozen hangers with every purchase".

I have got to get rid of them - if I don't I might buy more clothes to use them up.

It's a sin. I swear I know it is. But I just can't help myself.

Ramblin'

Wow. What a day yesterday was! And thank you all for celebrating with me. Your support through all this has been really incredible. Thank You.

Now - let me tell you about the day. :-)

I got about 2 1/2 hours sleep. Just couldn't seem sleep past 6:00, no matter how late we got home.

Anyway - by 10:00 I was on pins and needles. We had to get crackin'. We needed to get a truck - but do we get local or one-way? We needed to make flight arrangements - but will we need the tickets? Plus - damnit! - I wanted to know if I got the flippin' job or not!!

By 11:00 I was ready to give up hope. They said I'd know for sure by noon. Usually they will call the person they are extending the offer to first - just in case they turn it down. It was to the point I was ready to tell Cuz to just plan on drivin' that damned truck 'cross country.

Then the phone rang.

I looked at the caller ID and about vomited.

She was so very serious as she explained that they had all talked and were ready to make a decision.

Pause. (long flippin' pause)

Then she said that they wanted to extend an offer for the Divisional Sales Manager's position to me.

I'm not ashamed to admit it. I cried.

She got choked up too.

I start June 12th. I got everything I wanted plus a bit more.

I'm gonna be ok.

But you know what kicked me the hardest? Somebody wants me. Just knowing that. They are excited to have me join the team. They wanted me to start next week. She told me I really made a great impression.

They want me.

On my terms.

That's a first.

So --- now the focus is this move.

We're packing. TNT came down yesterday (with Champagne) and helped pack up the kitchen. Today Cuz and I will follow a couple of leads on houses for rent and then pack and sort our little hearts out.

We're stayin' here until next Saturday - one more week. It is really going to make things easier. We're not as rushed plus - it's the community garage sale and they (Cuz and TNT) are makin' me sell stuff instead of just throwing it all out. Have I ever mentioned how much I HATE garage sales? Oh well, it's for my own good.........

I'll have 8 days with my feet in the sand. 8 days to tan up a bit. 8 days to rest. I'd be completely stress free if I knew I had a place to move into when I get back - but I'm not gonna hold my breath on that one. It's enough that I"ll be working.

But you know what?

I got a job! I feel like the Tess McGill in the final scene from the movie Working Girl! I made it. I got past the glass ceiling I've been bumping into for years.

I got a job. A Good Job. A grown-up job.

Snippet

Heard in Tammi's World - after a day of packing and celebrating:

Tammi: Damn. My box is broken.

Cuz: Ductape. Ductape will fix it.

Tammi:

Thought You Might Want To Know

Status

10:35 and still nothing......well except to discover I have waaaayyyyy too many hangers.

**I'll just update this post all day.....

Nothin's Ever Easy

Blog Fodder. I'm tellin' you - my life is blog fodder.

I only hope I can do this little adventure justice. I only got about 3 hours sleep so my mind isn't as clear as it usually is (and that in itself should scare the hell outta you).

Ok - Cuz arrived last night. At Ohare Airport. Have I ever mentioned how much I hate that airport? No? Well, I do. For some reason every time I have to go there......oh wait, I'm getting ahead of myself.

Let me start with lunch. I was starving. So I went to Fritz's and grabbed a sandwich and a bit of conversation. And a Diet Coke. I was jonesin' for a Diet Coke. Anyway - nice break in the day and nourisment.

Got home to the pleasant surprise of my unemployment check being in my mailbox. WooHoo. I would actually have toll and gas money. Without any worries. That made me very happy.

Except - I needed to cash it. My bank is down where I used to work, about an hour south east of here. Hmmm. I needed to pick Cuz up at the airport at 7:30 and I didn't want to be late. Neither of us have cell phones and I knew she'd be tired.....so what to do what to do.

I decided to take off from here around 4:30, go to the bank and gas up. I'd then just take the southern route to the airport. Oh - and I should probably mention I have never ever driven to this airport. Ever. In my whole life. Ohare. In Chicago. Yeah, I was a little bit worried.

So - get my errands done and get on the road. Making great time. No traffic. Shoot. I'm gonna be early. WooHoo. Nooooo problem. I'll park and be waiting at her baggage area.

Parking. A little stressful for me. Oh, not the parking itself. I just immediately began worryin' that I'd never find the flippin' car, she'd be tired, I'd be draggin' her ass all over the parking garage......Why yes, I do tend to over think things. Why do you ask?

Got very lucky, found a great (easy) spot and headed to the terminal. Went to check the status of the flight. It says 7:35. OK, good. Time to spare. Then I see where it's landing. Ok. See where the luggage is coming in. Good. Then under remarks it says 9:32. WTF?!? No. That can't be right. When I left home I checked and everything was right on time. So, of course it must be the display that's wrong - so I went to another monitor. Same thing. Shit. (Oh, and I should probably mention I checked 6 different monitors - hoping to get a different answer. Hey - a girls gotta have hope!)

Made no sense to go all the way back home. So I bought a book and hunkered down.

I checked the display again, because I could have read it wrong and it turned out things had changed. Yeah!! Oh shit. Now it says 10:30. Yikes. Not good. Still - no sense goin' all the way back home.

Finally it settled at 11:27. Which was much better than the dozens of cancelled messages hitting everyone else.

I was starting to think maybe I was living the sequel of Terminal - only this would have been Baggage Land.....Tom Hanks had it a lot better'n me. There are no resturants or anything in Baggage Land. You gotta head to the International Terminal and well, that was just more work than I could manage.

Finally - it's 11:27. It shows the plane has landed. As I head to the door where folks are streaming out a woman comes up and in very broken English says "Cart? How do I get cart?" Well, hell, I don't know. So I smile and have her come with me. I figure we'll just read the instructions - how hard is it anyway? Well, for a normal person it's a walk in the park. Me? After a long day and longer evening? Yeah - it was well, huh.

I tell her the cart costs $2. So she opens her wallet and pulls out a $20. "No. $2" as I hold up two fingers. She is pulling out money and it's falling all over the floor. There must have been $200 in $20's.

I finally got her to stop, handed her what had fallen on the floor and dug $2 outta my purse. We get the money into the machine (I hate that you gotta play with those suckers to get them to accept the bills). And now the challenge of actually getting the cart free from the locky place. Thank Goodness they don't have those suckers timed. Anyway - we get it free and off she goes on her merry way calling back "Thank you for helping me" throughout the baggage claim area. Over and over again. Loudly. She was very sweet. I hope no one takes advantage of her.

Anyway......

I turn around and realized I probably missed Cuz. Shit. Oh wait - she'll be smoking.....

We managed to find each other AND find her luggage. Then comes the challenge of, you guessed it, finding the car.

But even worse is figuring out how to get across the street to the exact place I need to be. I could see my flippin' car from the baggage area but couldn't figure out how to get to it.

Finally we're on the elevator. I'm thinkin' we should be going down - everyone else is insisting we go up. Finally some lady asks me where I'm going.

Tammi: Rockford.
Lady: No, where are you going right now?
Tammi: To my car, then I'm going to Rockford.
Lady: Do you know where you parked?
Tammi: Yes, I wrote it down. Cubs, aisle 4. Then we gotta get to Rockford.
Lady: You need to go here.......

She was nice - must have thought I was kinda Rainmanish, with my focus on Rockford, but nice none the less. (This is probably where I should mention I was nervous as hell about finding my way OUT of the airport and on the right road to, you got it, Rockford. I tend to get turned around when I'm tired.)

It still took 15 minutes to find the damned car.

All in all we got home 8 hours after she was supposed to land. And before you ask - I didn't make one wrong turn. I actually followed all the signs!!!

She's sleepin' now. I'm trying desperately to wake up. Then we gots us some work to do.

Oh - and you do remember what today is right????

DEADLINE DAY!

Come on phone - RING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Google

Huh. If you google TAMMI with "safe and strict" restrictions here is an interesting hit you get........

Texas Animal Manure Management Issues (TAMMI)
Texas Animal Manure Management Issues (TAMMI) Website is an electronic informational clearinghouse, developed and designed with a mission to provide ...
tammi.tamu.edu/ - 15k - Cached - Similar pages

Hmmm - I was sorta feelin' my life had gone to the shits lately, but not quite that much!!

Win-Win-Win Solution

Dig a moat the length of the Mexican border.

Take the dirt from the moat and use it raise the levees in New Orleans.

Put those man eating Florida alligators in the moat.

Now. . . , any other problems you want me to solve?

**UPDATE: I was so outta sorts yesterday I forgot to mention I got this in an email. But - it's probably better that I do it now - because I would have credited the wrong Email anyway. Thanks Carmen!

Today's Horoscope

"A little while ago you were given an extra responsibility that challenged you -- remember how it felt like you'd never get the hang of it? Well look at you now! It's like you've been doing this all your life. It feels good to have yet another success or new skill under your belt doesn't it? Before reaching out for another challenge, take a break and splurge a bit with a special someone in your life. Celebrate the fact that life is good and sure to get better (because it is)"

Hmmmm - I don't know what new skill I learned lately - other than new ways to treat burns - but the rest of it I kinda like!!!

From The Recruiter

I mentioned in my post yesterday that the Recruiter was gonna call the company and find out where things stand.

Here's the scoop.

The other candidate? Someone they interviewed 2 1/2 months ago. The recruiter didn't know anything about him. Our thought is......how ironic they interview 2 1/2 months ago, but now, given MY deadlines they are rushing to a decision NOW. My recruiter figures - advantage Tammi.

The HR Director stated that NO ONE could believe he kept me in that meeting for 2 hours. VERY unlike him. Advantage Tammi.

The CEO stated several times how impressed he is with me. Advantage Tammi.

So - my optimisim at this point is very strong. Oh - I realize that there is still a 50% chance it won't be me. But - It's lookin' pretty good.

And the best part? I'll know. Soon. Answers. Soon. Very soon.

And a good thing too - I'm flippin' exhausted.

Is It Something I Said?

Damn. It's so quiet here at The Little Blue Cracker House.

Really. Army Wife is on the road travelin'. Oh, we had our early morning phone call - but for the next while it'll be just what I call "snatch and grab" conversations just to check in. I'll miss our routine.

T1G took off. He's on a mission of some sort.

I'm runnin' everyone off it seems.

Oh well - I'll just leave too. So there.

Actually, there are a couple of plans in place for the next bit - both of which involve me being gone.

Just in case you're curious I'll fill you in.

1) I don't get the job: Pack truck and head south. End of discussion. Gone on Tuesday.

2) I do get the job: Pack truck, put stuff in storage. Fly to Florida for 10 days. Come home and go to work.

No matter what happens - I'm gonna have 10 days to recover from the past 3 months stress. My plans??

Next Friday - Blender night with Joyce. There WILL be alcohol involved - large quantities.

Saturday: See my favorite hairdresser, cut and color (may go back to being a redhead) 2 or 3 hours at the beach then dinner with LeeAnn and her Hubby. At the Sandbar - one of my favorite resturants in life.

Sunday: Beach

Monday: Beach

Tuesday: Beach

Wednesday: Beach

Thursday: Beach

Friday: Beach

Saturday: Beach

Sunday: Come home

Each of those days will include blackened grouper sandwiches and alcohol. And laughter. And sleep.

Cuz arrives tonite. We've got a lot to get done in the next few days. We're gonna deserve a bit of down time. A few sunset walks on the beach and some early morning chats over coffee.

I'm not so scared about the future, knowing there are short term plans. And that no matter what - I'm gettin' my feet in the sand.

Just Lovely....

OK - so I'll know by the end of the week where exactly my home base will be. As in Florida or Illinois.

BUT - I am going to take a few days down in the Sunshine State to spend time with my beloved family and friends. I need to expose this white pasty body of mine to sunshine and sand. Seriously.

THEN I get THIS in an email from Blogdaughter LeeAnn. I'm a little confused. I thought she actually WANTED me to come home.........

"...spotted a shark last weekend in the shallow waters off Bradenton Beach...."

10 years I lived, swam and boated in those very waters off that very beach. NEVER a shark. NEVER.

Lovely. Just lovely.

For My Friends....

Given their love of Zombies and such I'm postin' this for Contagion and T1G.

Oh - and the music is pretty damned good too!!!

Found at Florida Cracker.

Enjoy! And Happy Hunting!!!

Looks like an Angel

I'll probably get in trouble for this but, what the hell. Afterall - trouble is my middle name.

But I just had to share this sweet little one's picture with you. He's my cousin's grandson - but calls me Aunt Tammi. And just check the picture out - even 1700 miles away, it's obvious I've had some influence. Do you see it????

And I get to see him next week!! How Cool is THAT?!?!?!?

Just Schtuff

Well, that whole sleep thing didn't really work so well. I'm flippin' exhausted.

I do want to thank everyone that called last night and apologize. I'm sorry for bein' short and distracted. I think I've just hit the end of my rope. But I really do appreciate the calls. Seriously.

Ohhhh I've got so much to do. Cuz arrives tomorrow night. Holy Shit. As of Tuesday morning I'm homeless. Oh, I'll have a roof over my head, either way. Those details were worked out last night - thank God for good friends and family. I was starting to really panic at the idea of What will I do if I DO get the job. But it fell together nicely.

I haven't been so good at the packing. I'm really kind of mad at myself about that - so the next couple of days will be focus focus focus. Oh, I've been throwing stuff out and selling stuff - but now it's crunch time.

Did I mention I'm tired? Yeah, I am. Cuz tells me it's cause I've been through one of those old supersized washer/ringers.

Yep - that pretty well shows how I feel.

And just so y'all don't think I'm a complete wimp - please know there is other stuff other than Job and Home slammin' down on me right now too. I've been tryin' to find a safe place to rest, and there isn't any right now. It's kind of appropriate that we are havin' a big ole storm. It's very reflective of my mind right now.

This is pretty close to what I saw when I looked out my kitchen window this morning.....

The recruiter just called. He's going to call the company and get their reaction to my TWO HOUR interview yesterday. He couldn't believe the guy sat and talked with me for that long. We'll see what they have to say.

Mean while, I'm gonna have some yummy pears for breakfast, check a few blogs and get some flippin' work done. D Day is upon me. It's time to remove my head from that dark place and get some shit done!!!

Pilot's Dilemma

You are a South African bush pilot. You fly in some critical medical supplies, enjoy a quick lunch at the hospital. It's a stifling 100 degrees in the shade and you're eager to get back up to the cool, high blue yonder. On the way back to your plane, you discover that the only bit of shade, within 10 miles, has become very popular . . . You start calculating the distance to the plane door . and wonder . .

Do I feel lucky today?"

Forgot my damned earrings....

Let's see if I can tell you about this afternoon. I'm very tired. Really Really tired but I did promise......

Let's start with this morning, shall we? I talked with Cuz, Army Wife and Teresa. All of a sudden I looked up and it was 10:30. Holy Shit. I had to get myself in gear.

So - looking at what I needed to do, I made a list. First I showered and straightened my hair. Next, get dressed and make-up. Final on the list was painting my nails, and for that I had to already have the panty hose on. Wait, am I going into too many details? Sorry.

Anyway - Army Wife calls as the time gets close. I had just finished my nails and was preparing to have a smoke. I was out of cigarettes so was smoking Harvey's sweet cigars that he leaves here. I had smoked a partial a while before and figured I would just finish that off.

Ok - I'm talkin' and grabbed the cigar to see, in slow motion, a.pile.of.ashes.fall.on.my.silk.shirt. Cream silk shirt.

Son Of A Bitch.

Let me just say that as long as you don't rub the ashes they will blow off with a blow dryer. Thank Goodness.

So - I'm finally ready. I'm surprised when the door bell rings and it's T1G! Wishin' me luck!!! Got my stuff together and do a last appearance check. Something wasn't quite right, but I finally just attributed it to the fact that the last 6 months have really aged me. Out the door I go.

Traffic was a breeze. About half way there I realize what was wrong when I looked in the mirror. Well, other than the obvious - I forgot my flippin' earrings. Damn it.

The devil is in the details.

Anyway - made it there with 45 minutes to spare. Reread my resume, checked my lipstick, said a prayer and It's Showtime!!!

As I met the CEO I kept thinkin'.....damn. He reminds me of someone. 5 minutes into the interview it clicked. Harvey. I had a 2 hour interview with Harvey. Same mannerisms, same speech pattern, everything. I know I did better in this because of spending time with Harvey. It was comfortable.

The other thing I picked up on quickly was the guy is a data geek. Loves analysis. 'Mkay. I can do that. I put on the analyst hat and we talked charts, graphs, databases til the cows came home. It was kind of nice because it was a side of me I don't get to show that much. Hell - he was even very impressed with my whole job search data base. Unlike some people.

Two hours. Two hours of talkin' data and schtuff. He said several times he was pleased, in some instances impressed even, with my skills and qualifications.

Did I mention I had been there 2 hours? Yeah, well, thought that might be important.

Anyway - he thanked me several times for coming in and then left me in the reception area to talk with the HR Director.

She came out, thanked me for coming in and briefed me on the situation. There is another candidate. They will talk this week and get back to me - this week.

Can we cut this any shorter? I thought once the interview was over my stress would drop.

Oh No. Not at all. NOW I have no control. None. Nada. It's just wait and wait and wait.

So that's where it's at. I'm waiting. Oh, and packing and shit. But mostly? Yeah, waiting.

Now I'm gonna go sit on my couch and veg. The adrenaline has left and all that's left is the Shell of Tammi.

Just Call Me.....

Burnease. Yep - I managed to yet again injure myself while trying to cook.

BUT - in my defense it wasn't nearly as bad as it could have been.

I decided to grill up a couple of the Brauts I had in the freezer. So - I put them on the stove to boil and went out to start my handy dandy charcoal grill.

I put the charcoal in the bottom and make a little pyramid (please note: I've never really used a charcoal grill until a couple of months ago). I spray the charcoal with lighter fluid. Did I mention I'm on the phone the whole time? Yeah, no...well, I was.

So - I saturate the coals with fluid. I take my ubercool candle lighter thingy and apply fire. Ohhh Cool.

After a while I looked outside to check the progress. Hmmmmm the coals aren't very gray yet. Better check that. Oh, and yes, I was still on the phone.

Ohhh - doesn't seem to really be burning. I ask my Cuz, should I apply more lighter fluid? NOOOOOO...

Ok Ok OK - I got it.

So instead I lean over the kettle and blow. Did I mention I'm still on the phone? Oh, and my hair is gettin' kinda long now. Yeah, probably not the smartest move......

But it turned out fine. Went back inside, with no flash burns or frazzled hair.

Everything is coming together. Put the fries in the oven and the Brauts on the grill. Cook cook, sizzle sizzle. Yipee.

I check the fries. Lookin' good.

I check the Brauts. Ohhh Fire. Damn. Grease.

OK - it's fine.

Brauts come off the grill and fries are ready.

I am not real good at making sure the oven door is completely in the "down" position when pulling out pans. As I was grabbing the cookie sheet the oven door starts to snap closed.

Ohh - that was close. Just missed me.

I'm laughing about it all as I'm using the spatula to take the fries off the pan when.........

I layed my arm against the hot cookie sheet. And in shock left it there for a few seconds (even though it felt like hours).

Yeah - nice new scar on my upper arm, on that really tender inner skin.

I almost made it. Almost got through a (for some) tricky fire meal without a mishap.

Yeah, just call me Burn-ease.....

Another 48 Hours

Today. Today is THE day.

Today I meet with the owner/CEO of the company. One shot. That's all I got.

Funny thing is, I'm not really nervous. It's beyond that at this point.

Yesterday I was working in the office again. Sorting through papers and such. Found the folder with all my award write ups from Tropicana. I'm taking those along, as most of my recognition there was earned because of my management of the brokers. That's what this job is all about, so I figure I'll take some extra ammunition...just in case.

This has all really come together quickly. The best part is we will know within the next 24 to 48 hours what is happening. I'll have answers. THAT is all I'm wanting right now. Answers.

Talking with Cuz last night I did start to panic. I've been internalizing as much of the stress as possible. I don't have time for a melt down, so I just alternate between being frozen in fear and manic. Yeah, I'm GREAT company right now.

Here's the thing.......No matter what happens I have to move out of The Little Blue Cracker House. Have to. Can't stay here - it's sold. I also have run out of money. None. Nada. Broke.

Cuz is flying up here on Thursday. Originally the thought was, she comes up here, helps me pack, we load a truck with my stuff, put Maggie May (my car) on a dolly and head to Florida. Put everything in storage and I live with them until I get a job and get back on my feet.

Now, if I get this job, I have to put everything in storage and find 1) a place to crash for a month (until I get money together) 2) a new place to live.

That is all happening this weekend. She is FLYING IN ON THURSDAY. We don't know if we should rent a local or one way truck. We don't know if we should get a storage unit here or there. Does she purchase a one way ticket or round trip?

This is really putting her out. And I have no answers for her. None. I'm just standing here.

So - I cannot begin to tell you the relief of knowing that we will have answers within the next 48 hours.

I knew I was starting to go into overload last night. I also knew I needed to sleep. Badly. So - I took a pill. And drank some herbal tea. I slept like the dead. 8 hours. Straight through. Sweet Goodness that was nice. No panic attacks. No tossing and turning. Just sleep. Peaceful, deep sleep.

48 hours. I'll know where to focus in 48 hours.

Where Have You Been???

Contagion, Ktreva, Clone and T1G came and hung out in Tammi's World on Sunday. Despite what SOME PEOPLE REPORT - it wasn't all just drunkeness. We ate. The best thing is there was much laughter. Ringing throughout the house.

I did pretty good keepin' myself together. But the entire day I kept thinking "Is this good-bye? When will I see them again? When is the next time I'll get a Clone Hug?" It was tough.

I wish you could have seen Clone when they first got here. He walks up to me and gives me a fierce look. "Where have you been? I've been looking for you every where and I could not find you! I missed you! Where have you been?!"

Melted. Yep, I melted. A puddle on my kitchen floor. And he kept saying it throughout the day. What a sweetie pie.

There is nothing like the sweet open adoration of a child to make you feel loved. Not to mention good friends. And damn - I got me some pretty incredible friends.

State of.....

Thought y'all might enjoy this snipet of conversation between Army Wife and I this afternoon.

AW: Ohhh my mother-in-law sent me a new address book.

Tammi: Cool. I know you were missin' yours.

AW: I'm gonna need your address.

Tammi:

Tammi: Just put State of Flux. But I'll get on that ASAP for ya. Hate to have you leavin' that blank.

AW: Shit. I can't believe I just said that. DON'T blog this.

Tammi:

hehehehehe

What can I say...I'm easily amused.

They Called

Yes, they called.

Actually, the recruiter called.

He said he just got a note from them stating they want to bring me in to meet with the owner this week. When am I available?

He then asked "In an hour?"

Me: I need 2 hours to get there......I can be ready and there in 3 hours.

He laughed at me.....

The meeting is 2:00 tomorrow afternoon. Plenty of prep time.

Thank GOODNESS I have a decent pair of panty hose.

I was just telling Teresa - I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I can smell the rain. The answers are coming. They're close. So very close.

Holy shit. Breathe, Breathe, Breathe.

Larry's Tattoo

Larry gets home late one night and his wife, Linda, says, "Where in the hell have you been?"

Larry replies, "I was out getting a tattoo."

"A tattoo?" she frowned. "What kind of tattoo did you get?"

"I got a hundred dollar bill on my privates," he said proudly.

"What the hell were you thinking?" she said, shaking her head in disdain. "Why on earth would a CPA get a hundred dollar bill tattooed on his privates?"

His answer?
1. I like to watch my money grow.
2. Once in a while I like to play with my money.
3. I like how money feels in my hand.
4. Instead of you going out shopping, you can stay right here at home and blow a hundred bucks anytime you want."

Larry is recovering in room 232 at John Hopkins Hospital

Some Fun Would Help

Hehehehehehe.

Seems Grau is preparing to have a Mid-Life Crisis and, get this, is actually looking for some idea's on what to do.

Dude.......I think we can help. Really. Trust me. snicker snicker

You'll need to head over to his place to get the plan, the rules (yes, there are rules) and leave some ideas. And I'm pretty sure, given my group of readers, we can come up with some pretty damned good ones too.

Oh, and I wanna make it plain - if it turns out that I stay up here, part of the "I know what I'm doin', I got a job" celebration is gonna be watching this all unfold.

Oh yeah, THIS I wanna see.

So come on folks - put on your evil, twisted thinking caps and come up with some ideas for a Mid-Life Crisis on a Budget.

I'm working on mine. But you'll have to head over there to find out what they are.

Hehehehehe

Breathe

The vacation is offically over. I took Friday, Saturday and Sunday off from worrying. I still have no final answers and because of that can make no solid plans. So worryin' won't accomplish a damned thing.

The days were easy to get through. I watched movies, packed some boxes, had company....yep the days were alright.

But the nights. Dear sweet Lord, the nights kicked my ass.

I've been having panic attacks. I can handle them when I feel them coming during the day. I feel my mind start to spin out of control, my heartbeat begins to race but I stop. I calm myself. That nips it in the bud.

But during the nights they sneak up on me. My dreams will begin to deal with the whole "where am I going? What am I doing" stuff and next thing I know I wake up in the grip of a full blown attack. That's been happening more and more lately. Last night? 3 of them.

You see - my cousin arrives on Thursday. This coming Thursday. Four days from now. Folks - I still have no answers. OK - stop.....breathe.......breathe.....

Anyway - today is sorting, packing and waiting for the phone. As I've said, this company is fully aware that no decision by Friday means I am gone. GONE. So they are pushing hard to get the CEO in the office. They will call as soon as they know anything.

Time waits for no man.

Mean while - the mantra here in Tammi's World is "Just Breathe"

(I find the final verse very appropriate right now)
2 AM and I'm still awake, writing a song
If I get it all down on paper, it's no longer inside of me,
Threatening the life it belongs to
And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd
Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud
And I know that you'll use them, however you want to

But you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button now
Sing it if you understand.
and breathe, just breathe
woah breathe, just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe.

See? I Told You!!

Found over at Accidental Verbosity, Ogre's and Quality Weenie's.

Your Ideal Pet is a Little Dog

You're both high strung, hyper, and cute. You're one of the few people who can get away with carrying your little dog in a little bag.

Why oh why doesn't anyone believe me!??!?!?!?

kidding! I'm kidding.....But I scared ya didn't I?!? ;-)

Standing Watch

I have always had a fascination with Dragons. It started when I was pretty young. Nobody could understand why I always cried when they killed the dragon.

I used to have a wonderful collection of dragons - but alas, in all the moving those were part of the sacrifice.

But this one? Yeah - this one I saved. Doesn't take up much space, and on those days, you know THOSE days, it's just nice to know he's there.

My Guardian Dragon.

I joke that I must have a Guardian Angel. How else can I explain my lack of scars and such. But deep inside - I know......it's My Guardian Dragon - keeping the evil away.

I'm not sure why I decided to share that with you today.

Must be 'cause I'm such a dork.

Unbelievable

No one can help you unless you help yourself.

WTF?

New Orleans? I just don't get it.........

WooHoo!!!!!!!!

I Am Stoked!!

I've had my dinner. I've made me a drink. I'm hunkerin' down on the couch.

It's time.

BATMAN BEGINS!!!!

As always, I'm a day late and a dollar short. But that sure as hell ain't ruinin' this evening for me!!!

UPDATE: Ohhhh I liked it. Oh yes I did. There's just somethin' about......

Fun Friday

I had so much fun yesterday. Yep - it was a good day.

First off - no bad news. Lately, every bad thing has happened on Fridays, so much so I was really starting to get paranoid. But not this week.

Plus - having heard that I'm in for the final interview really took the pressure off. Oh, it shouldn't have. I mean seriously, think about it. If I get that job I still have to figure out a way to put everything in storage and find cheap temporary housing until I get a months worth of checks under my belt. Where will I go? How will I do it?

STOP!! STOP THINKING ABOUT IT!!!

Ok - sorry. Anyway - I didn't want to freak out yesterday. So I refused to think about it. Hell, the issues will still be there Monday, I still won't know where I'm going or what I'm doing, so I'm just not gonna go there right now.

I decided to go to Fritz's for Movie Day. Watched Alien vs Preditor, had some Diet Coke and good company. Nice. Very nice.

Then it was time for the annual Cross Town Classic - Cubs vs Sox. I wanted to be home so I could listen while I puttered. Of course I ended up on the phone for most of it, but still......I tried. Plus, the Cubbies lost so it's probably better I wasn't really payin' attention.

Had a great conversation with my friend Joyce down in Florida. Damn - she makes me laugh. I wish y'all could know her. Hell - I wish she had a blog. She is fantastic. Funny, smart, knows more triva than ANYONE I've ever known. Just a treat. Anyway - we got caught up on things and I hung up the phone with a smile on my face.

Decided to make squash for dinner. Did 2. One stuffed with sausage (not so good) and one with brown sugar and butter (very yummy). Had the pleasure of this guy's company for the meal when THIS GUY called to chat. Damn - I laughed so hard!!! Perfect dinner conversation (inappropriate as hell, but perfect none the less).

After dinner chatted some more on the phone with 'Neck and watched a spot of TV. Late in the evening I got a call from Army Wife. My first words to her? "Yeah, I'm drunk. Sorry. You may not want to talk to me." You see, during my conversation with Joyce we fell into the Blender Night ritual. I just kept it going.

I will tell you that drinking makes watching What Not To Wear even funnier than it normally is. Well, that and being able to have catty conversation.

So it was a good day. I laughed a lot - which is one of my measures. I had some great conversation - another measure of goodness. And I had a few cocktails.

Forget What Not to Wear - what's not to LIKE!!!!!!

Perfection

Wanna know a secret? Nobody's perfect. Nobody's life is perfect, no one is without fault. Period.

Shocking I know. Hell, if you read through the blogsphere, it just seems like life actually IS a bowl of cherries. But I call Bull Shit.

Let's face it. None of us really air all our dirty laundry. No one shares all their deep dark secrets. Oh - some get close, but you have to know, deep down inside there are doors that remain firmly locked. No Entry. Period.

I've had folks tell me I've lived a fairly full life to date. And I have. Daddy always told me the worst thing you can say at the end of the day is I wish I had, or I wonder if. So I go for it. I take chances. Often - they blow up in my face, but always there is a lesson involved. A memory or twenty to cherish. Or, heaven forbid, more emotional baggage to cart around.

I kinda wanna talk about the baggage part right now. That baggage is a huge part of who we are and why. And some people have more than most. Me? I have my fair share.

I still cringe when I hear a man yell in anger. I flinch when someone raises a hand at me. Oh - I won't back down, but I flinch.

I often assume that people think I'm stupid. It's why I'm always tellin' you I'm not just a dumb girl. I just figure that is the impression I give so I need to make sure you realize there is more to me than that.

My little sayin'? "This is what I'm gonna need for you to do"? Yeah, that's all a part of my baggage. For years my life careened out of control - now, I try and keep as tight a hold on it as possible. Doesn't work all that well, and I don't react well to chaos, but I try. Oh Lordy do I try.

I freak out when I have no food in my house. Seriously. Oh, I can live on rice and peanut butter - easy. But I panic if I open the fridge and there's nothing there. Nothing I can do about that.

Even my love of entertaining is actually baggage based. To have folks in my home, enjoying food I've prepared, carrying on a conversation - comes from years of forced isolation. No human interaction? Yeah, I have a melt down.

And I could go on. There are things I'll never really talk about. Hell - what I share is enough to scare off many folks. Why would I open up just to run everyone off? But I think it's important to know - we all carry around crap based on our past experiences. None of us are perfect.

Which leads me to another point. If you're looking for perfection? Damn - it's gonna be a long lonely wait. Opening yourself up, sharing who you are and why, learning to know another person and seeing them at their best and worst? Tough stuff. Even tougher is the accepting of that person and more so allowing them to accept you.

Scary.

No, terrifying.

So you have to make a choice. Do I take the chance or do I just keep running? Do I open up and allow others to do the same or do I just play it safe? That's a decision you and only you can make for yourself.

Me? I'm a risk taker. Always have been. Always will be. But I'll let you in on a little secret.....with every risk, every failure, a little piece of me goes behind the closed door. Just a piece. But none the less, it's gone.

But I figure it's worth it.

Note to self:

....house phone does NOT work like cell phone.

You have to actually hit the "Off" button to end the call. Just hanging up? Yeah, they're still there!!!!

Damn - I'm glad all I did was sing after that call. That could have been VERY embarrassing.....

WTF?!?!?

Senate Votes Twice for English Language?!?!?!?

They vote once, and it passes 63-34 (which is a whole 'nother post) to make English America's National Language.

THEN - because someone is afraid it will make it tough for those that don't speak English so well to get - gasp - aid, they vote again. Saying with a vote of 58-39 that English is also America's "common and unifying language".

Ok. So, we speak English. Have for as long as I can remember. Pretty much. Used to be a pretty well known fact that if you were comin' to America you might want to learn to speak the language.

Now? Not so much. And my head is exploding that the Senate, the flippin' Senate, wasted MY MONEY and their time even voting on this shit.

Ohhhhhh there was a reason I haven't been blogging politics lately....oh yes there is. My blood pressure is rising over this one.

Let's just break it down here for one moment. Nice and easy.

What you speak in your home or community, up to you. I think it's fabulous if you are bi-lingual. We need to celebrate our cultures, our history. BUT DO NOT FORCE THE MAJORITY OF US TO CELEBRATE WITH YOU.

English. America. Learn it. Use it. Or leave.

Got that?

Still A Bit Dixie

Saw this at Richmond's. Good to know I've still got a bit of Dixie in me. :-)

The funniest part - in my mind - is the General American English score. Hell - anyone that's had an actual conversation with me KNOWS how I can butcher the English language!!!!!

Foolish is Fun

I wanna go dancing. I just love to dance. Seriously. Mama started me in ballet back when I was three years old in hope that I would learn to walk through a room without hurting myself. Didn't work so well, except it lit a fire.

I studied ballet until they realized I was growing into an Amazon. Not a lot of Prima Amazons in the world of ballet. So they switched me to tap and jazz. I hated tap. Hated it. Toooooooo structured. But jazz? Oh yeah. I loved the "feel" of it.

I stayed in dance for about 12 years. Then I had to make a choice. Dance or music? I played 13 instruments and loved to sing. It was pretty much a no brainer. Plus - I could dance whenever I wanted. But the chance to learn to make music was just more than I could resist.

So I made music. After leaving college I joined a band and was able to combine the two. When I wasn't singing my job was to dance. By myself. On the dance floor. Good thing I'm not shy!!! And I'll be honest. I loved it.

The time came when I realized I had to grow up. Mama was starting a business and needed my help. So I moved back home. (hmmmm - pattern emerging?) But it wasn't too long before I really started to miss the music. No local bands and I wasn't solo material. So I went to a ball room dancing studio. Grown-up dancing. Anything was better than nothing.

Holy Cow. It rocked. Oh, I was alright with the waltz, but I loved the Viennese Waltz, quick and fluid - so much movement. The Fox Trot? No, not so much. Then we started the Latin Dances. OMG! Sex on the floor folks - that's all I'm sayin'. Sex on the floor.

I ended up teaching the Latin styles for a few years. Hey - what could be better? Dancing and makin' money. It worked for me. Until I got married.

After the divorce I went dancing as often as I could. I enjoy getting out there, in a fun dress, moving and well, just losing myself in the music. I haven't been in a while now - and no matter what anyone says, living room dancing or dish dancing (dancing while washing dishes) is just not the same.

I wanna cut a rug. I wanna just let my hair down. I wanna move. Yeah - I wanna go dancing.

Japanese proverb:
We're fools whether we dance or not, so we might as well dance.

My Days

I cannot believe it's Friday. This has been the longest short week I can remember. I barely remember Monday. Tuesday is kind of a blur. Yesterday - every hour seemed like it lasted a day.

Did I use that time to get anything done? Oh, hell no. Are you kidding!?!?!? Let me show you my days anymore......

With any luck - I'll get some of this done in the next couple of days.

But I'm not makin' any promises at this point!

I Passed!

I just got an email.

From the company I interviewed with yesterday.

They want me to come in next week to talk with the CEO.

I passed. Holy Shit. I passed.

I need a drink......

Ohhhhh.....Pretty!

Pretty. Army Wife has a new look. Very nice.

Check it out!

Stress

I forgot how much stress can just kick your ass. Seriously.

The bags under my eyes are so big they literally hurt. All I wanted last night was a good night sleep. I wanted it so bad I could taste it.

However.........

I was still awake at 10:00. Awake at 12:00. Awake at 2:00. Awake at 3:30. Stop fighting it at 5:00. Tired does not begin to cover it.

I didn't sleep well the two nights before that either. My head is just too crowded. Seriously - being unemployed is difficult. Interviewing is very difficult. ESPECIALLY for a Sales Position. Sales is 90% personality. If they turn you down - it's cause they don't like you. Really. I don't care what anyone says that's how it pans out. I've been on the other side of the table too many times to try and tell myself anything different.

And I have this thing about being liked. Usually folks do. Like me that is. Hell - I can be very charming. But part of that charm is because I can focus on something other than myself. When you are in survival mode the only thing you think about is how YOU are going to SURVIVE. So - part of my preperation is going out and catching up on what is going on in the world outside. Kicker is......it's so hard to focus. So there is pressure.

Not to mention if I get overly tired, I'm not all that...ummm, shall we say NICE. Yeah. I'm not. My patience is shot. And they like to push your buttons in these interviews just to see how you handle pressure. The only way to combat that is be prepared for it. Yeah, lovely.

Now - add in the homeless aspect. Shall we. I've got to be out of this house. Soon. I'll admit going to Florida will be the easy thing. Seriously. I'll have a place to live and an instant family. If I get this job and stay here I've still got to finish packing and figure out what I'm doing. I have a sudo plan of sorts. I think it'll be my only option. Short term it'll suck. BIG TIME. But in the long run (July) it'll be the best thing. But still - ouch.

Put all that together and then try and get some sleep. Try and deal with the normal every day shit that comes along. Try and maintain as much consistency as possible. Yeah - it don't work so well.

So......here I sit. Surrounded by chaos. Waiting for a phone call to figure out which plan to impliment. Here I sit so tired I ache. Here I sit, actually kinda pissed about the whole thing.

I've always dealt with stress pretty well, but this time.....this time I'm hittin' a brick wall. I'd just really like to know what the next week will hold.

Have I ever mentioned how much I *HATE* soap operas?!?!?!?!

And Exhale

Ok - despite over sleeping and getting out of here later than when I wanted to.....I made it to the interview in plenty of time. I even managed a last minute costume change. I'm glad I did. I feel much better in what I ended up wearing - so instead of worrying about how I looked I could focus on being charming.

It was 2 solid hours of interviews. Not as difficult as some I've been through. I left....liking very much what I heard. Liking the man that I would work for very much and hoping they liked me, even a little.

By the time I got home to call the recruiter they had already called him. Seems they liked me. A lot. I'm a front runner. They emailed me a test I needed to take. Part personality part math/reading and spelling.

The personality - HA. I wonder if I'll hear back from them after they see THAT report.

The math - I cheated. I used a calculator. Hey - I'm an analyst. We use spreadsheets. We don't NEED to know how to add.

The reading - no sweat.

The spelling - yikes. I soooo suck at spelling.

Hopefully I passed. If I did - I have one more chat. With the owner.

They know all about my time line and are rushing things through BECAUSE of that. I think that's pretty cool - actually.

So - I really think it went well. I should hear how I did on the test in the next couple of days and then......I'll know more by Monday morning.

But right now? I need a flippin' nap!!!

Thank y'all for your thoughts and prayers. I felt them. They helped. More than you know.......

Hurry up and wait.

I'm tellin' you it's the story of my life.

I just got off the phone with the recruiter. Seems, due to illness, my interview is now tomorrow.

Morning.

9:00am.

Just outside of Chicago.

Traffic.

Did I mention 9:00am? That means leaving here by 6:30. A.M. In the morning.

Now, I love my mornings. And I'm usually up by 5:30 or so. But damn..........

That being said - the good news is it's a one shot deal. I'm interviewing with all the big wigs. No call backs. It's D Day.

But damn. 6:30am?!?!

Nosey!!

Army Wife is a very brave lady.

She signed up for an interview over at Basil's. What I think is funny is she was worried she wouldn't get any questions.

HA!

Damn - we bloggers sure are a nosey bunch - she got around 50!!!

Head on over and check it out. She did a great job answering.

Go on. Read it.

Tick Tock - Updated!!

Things are getting kinda tense in Tammi's World right now. Time is running out. I am waiting to hear back about an opportunity that fell in my lap last week - and the funny thing is they are in more of a hurry than *I* am. I'll know something by Friday.

Meanwhile - I'm packing. Well, actually, I'm purging. I took a bunch of stuff to Mama Vi's for her to sell in the garage sale next week. I'm putting stuff aside for Good Will and then there's a bunch of stuff thats just going to the curb.

It's kind of funny. I'm a very sentimental girl. Seriously - I have a story/memory that goes with EVERYTHING I own. And, while not a pack rat per say, I got me some stuff. Lots-o-stuff.

But as sentimental as I am, I'm gettin' rid of quite a bit. Things I never thought I'd let go. But I know - I'll never have a 2,800 (oops to many zero's that first draft!) sq ft house with 4 bedrooms/3 baths again. Mainly because I don't want one. I'm really liking the fact that my home is cozy. I love the fact that it takes next to no time to clean. I've adjusted. I've adjusted very well.

So I don't need all this stuff. I'm even - gasp - getting rid of many of my kitchen gadgets. I know - I can't believe it either. But, I've done more cooking and entertaining this past year than I have in the past 10 years. If I didn't need/use it this year, I never will. It's outta here.

The majority of stuff I took to Mama's was clothes and candles. Yes, you read that right - Me. Tammi. Got rid of kitchen gadgets, clothes and candles. It's a real possiblity I may need therapy when this is all done.

Purging. Cleaning. Packing. Waiting.

Waiting to find out if I go or if I stay.

Saying my good-byes. Just in case.

That's how my week is shaping up. What about y'all????

UPDATE 9:30am: My interview is tomorrow afternoon!! Holy Shit. Now I've got to go through the clothes I've packed and find a suite that fits, unpack the paperwork I've packed to find my "brag book" and study up on the current consumer trends for this product line. Oh - and stop my head from spinning!!!!

Weird or Just Interesting?

So I pretty well lost the Great Grape Debate. Hmm - that kinda surprised me.

A while ago, T1G posted about toast. I happen to like mine "double toasted". I think that comes from the fact that Daddy burnt everything he ever tried to cook - so I just thought that was the way it was supposed to be. Anyway - imagine my surprise when I find out most people only like "warmed" bread for toast.

That got me to thinking. Am I weird? I didn't think so until lately. So - I'm gonna try a little experiment today. I'll list what some folks have pointed out as some of my stranger traits and you let me know if any of them strike close to home for you.

1) I will not heat my water for tea in the micro wave. I have to use the kettle. I always think the water tastes "stale" when I zap it.

2) I turn my bacon with my fingers. While it's frying. I also test my pasta by just pickin' it out of the boiling water.

3) When traveling I get nervous when my gas tank gets below 1/2, but day to day I'll drive that sucker dry.

4) I smell everything. I'm picky about what scents I have near me or in my home. If it all doesn't blend together right - it ain't comin' to my house.

5) I have to drink my water room temperature. I HATE cold water.

6) I will "wander around" a story as I tell it - but when I'm in a meeting or doing something less than fun - give me the facts. Straight up. And NOW.

7) I say I'm sorry. A lot. And mean it. Not like I think I can control stuff, it's just I feel so damned bad when bad things happen to people I care about - all I know to say is "I'm sorry".

8) I HATE socks. Even in the winter time, here in Northern Illinois, I only wore them for as long as I HAD to. Soon as I get inside my home, socks are OFF. I'm all about the bare feet.

9) I cannot "surprise" anyone. Take Austin for instance. I was soooo looking forward to seeing Bou's face when I walked in - but I just couldn't NOT tell her. I held out, oh.......about 2 hours.

10) I always have to have a blanket. Sitting around my house, I have a blanket on. If it's warm out I cool the house down enough that I can still have a blanket.

So that's ten things off the top of my head. This was actually a bit more difficult than I thought it would be. I get teased a lot for bein' "different" but when it came to listing things, I just couldn't think of much.

Anyway - you tell me. Weird or just interesting?????

Happy Mother's Day

Well, today is Mother's Day. Hopefully y'all have bought the appropriate flowers/cards/gifts by now. If you can't get to visit, then make sure you call. Honestly, we should make sure the Mothers in our lives know they are loved everyday - we shouldn't need a special holiday as a reminder. BUT, make that extra effort - m'kay.

Today I'm heading to Mama Vi's house for the day. It's time I got over there and spent some time with her, plus this is probably the last chance I'll get before the move. So I'll be heading out the door in just a few moments.

A couple of years ago I wrote a post about Mama Vi. And I'll be honest. I miss that woman. Very much. Oh - Mama is still here, but THAT Mama is long gone. That makes this year kinda tough. But, I really think it's harder on her than it is on us. So - you suck it up. That's what daughters do.

Mother's day, for me, is sooo bittersweet. You see, I had one shot a bein' a Mom. And it's all I ever wanted. A family. But....it just wasn't meant to be. It's kind of ironic that my due date, 22 years ago, was Mother's Day. Kinda like a kick in gut every year. You don't forget the miscarraiges. You don't forget the pain, both physical and emotional. But for it to always be associated with Mother's Day, well....ouch.

Anyway - enough of that.

I want to take this time to wish all the Mothers out there a very happy Mother's Day. What you do is sooooo important. It's you who impacts our future more than anything. The love, attention, discipline and understanding you teach today is what will save the tomorrow.

My Salvation???

...or just another cruel hoax.

Chantix

Who knows til I try it. And I will. I'm ready.

Never A Good Sign

I have Insight Broadband. AND I have the VoIP phone. Basically I love it. When it works.

It ain't been working so good lately.

I was blaming the VoIP. I found out yesterday it's Insight. Seriously. And it's not just me.

Now, while being cut off from the outside world is never really good for me, right now? Yeah - it SUCKS.

Yesterday it seemed to be a bit better. I didn't really lose anything for most of the day.

Just a moment ago I got a call. From the CEO of Insight. Gotta tell you - I don't like mass calls anymore than I do form letters. BUT I do appreciate the update.

Seems they are upgrading the system. Seems it hasn't been going so well. He apologized (as he should). Then I got the kick in the gut. Seems they expect a lot more issues. In the next couple of days. Oh Yipee! Weekend, no phone, no internet. Just what I need!

But I'll give him this. He did recommend a fix. (Not the switch companies switch, but still.....)

So - it could turn into a long weekend. No phone. No internet. But at least they warned me first.

The Power Of Juice

If you've read here much at all, you are aware I used to work for an Orange Juice Company. Juice was my life for quite a few years. The joke was always if you cut me I bled orange.

Part of that dedication came from the fact that I knew and loved the product that I sold. I was lucky enough to have good contacts in the R&D department and I studied everything I could get my hands on. If we were told there was a certain benefit that came from something we were doing, I didn't just follow blindly. I did my own research and asked (according to my boss sometimes) way too many questions.

And the thing you hear most from me if you are sick, or tired, or fighting off something is simply this....Drink More Juice.

And I mean it. I try to have at least 16oz of OJ every day. I prefer Tropicana Pure Premium with Calcium. The calcium additive is phenominal. It absorbs into your system quickly and cleanly and I often sold it into placements as a perfect alternative for those folks that are lactose intolerant (or just didn't like milk). It's that good.

Now, with my stomach as bad as it is, I'm stuck drinking the Low Acid version. Oh, it's very yummy. Sweeter than standard OJ. I can almost taste the Valencia oranges in the mix. And not hard on my stomach at all. I just really need the calcium.

If I'm fighting a cold or something more sinister, I pick up a gallon of the Immunity Defense (they've renamed it since I've left). I still get the juice and I get that added boost of vitamins.

I don't like taking medicine. I prefer to take care of things as "naturally" as possible. I know store bought OJ isn't all that natural, especially when you're buying the brands with the additives. BUT it works - at least for me. I'd rather drink that than take pills.

As I've been talking to folks lately, seems everyone is fighting off some cold or something so I thought I'd just do my civic duty and tell you....DRINK MORE JUICE!!!!

Fiction Friday

Part II of the newest edition of Fiction Friday is up at Nugget's place.

Most excellent. Seriously. I'm actually kinda pissed it's only a chapter! I want to keep reading. (and it's a pretty well known fact I'm not real big on the whole patience thing)

Anyway - I have to again thank Christina for pulling this all together.

In case you missed it last week - here's Part I.

Go. Read. Enjoy.

It's Friday!!!

I'm Connected!!!

I feel like such a grown up now. WooHoo!!!! AND I had such a good day yesterday.

Started out with a couple of pretty good phone calls. Had another job interview. A pretty flippin' amazing job interveiw. I'm not putting any REAL stock in it, but it was great to have the conversation. I miss talking about consumers, marketing, product placement, retail execution, demographics - you know normal stuff. Well, normal for me.

Anyway...no matter what I had the opportunity to have that conversation and I really enjoyed it. Went into "The City" for a wonderful, relaxing lunch. PERFECT!!! And after that I ran some errands that ended up taking most of the afternoon. Mucho laughter came with that adventure. Seriously....if I laugh it ALWAYS makes everything else easier to deal with. Yesterday, I was a dealin' fool.

Got home and decided it was time to bite the bullet and install the sound card _Jon had sent me. Yep, that's right. I was goin' in.....

Lucky for me T1G was here to oversee the process. Well, that and I had Carmen on speed dial. After figuring out how to open the damned tower (they just keep changing things on me) it was evident that I really didn't know WTF I was doing.

Poor Carmen. How she even understood a damned thing we were saying is beyond me. We were bickerin' and laughing so hard *I* couldn't understand us. But she pushed through the chaos and we got everything up and running. Sissy had sent me speakers last year for my birthday so we (ok HE) got those plugged in and Voila! I got sound!

I can finally watch all those videos y'all post and listen to the songs you link or the podcasts that are out there!! I've even set up my Yahoo! Launchcast. Of course my taste in music will make anyone else in the house crazy, but I'm all in my happy place. Finally - I'm bloggin' and singin' and well, just having a grand ole time!!

You Tell Me

I have a question. A simple question. And I think I already know how the majority of you will answer this.

And I have to say, while it may be a simple question, it's important. It's a question just begging to be asked.

Do you taste the grapes before you buy them? You know, take a sample just to be sure they're sweet.....

Seriously - I'm really needing some input on this. There's quite a bit riding on this one.......

Took A While....

I was watching some movie on TV the other day, and a point that someone tried to make years ago finally sunk in.

In the movie a guy was listening to an Italian aria. In the scene he was translating, word for word what the singer was singing. It was amazing to me.

You see - I studied opera for years. I was a classical singer before I was anything else. I competed every year in high school, singing both soprano and alto along with any esemble I could sign up for. I loved to sing. I especially loved a good aria.

There was this one judge. She was the lead Soprano for a rather famous Opera House at the time. It never failed. I ALWAYS got her as one of my judges. I could count on it.

Since I did so many different songs, some in Italian, some in German, some in Latin, very rarely any in English, I didn't have time to learn the exact translations. But I would learn the story. I felt if I knew the story I could convey the "feel" of the song. Plus I've always been a bit of a "teller". I like putting my own spin on things. Jazz it up, make it more dramatic. Not a bad trait in a presenter or even a performer. However, doesn't fly real well in the world of opera. Not really.

So - I'd work very hard. And I would nail it. I say that without any bragging - I was just good. I never got less than 1st place rating. And I'd get 2 out of 3 perfects every single time.

Except for her. Every year, as my performance closed she would ask me a question in what ever language I sang in. And every year I would stand there blinking, not having a clue what she was saying.

Every year she would mark me down one point for not speaking the language.

Imagine my surprise when she took a sabatical and ended up at Goshen College - where I was attending. I had a full ride scholarship to study classical voice and ended up with her as my prof.

AGAIN she busted my ass for not speaking the language of the music. I tried to explain to her - I'm good at mimicking, but I don't pick up languages well at all. I can repeat it, but my mind won't retain the exact meanings.

And every time she would look at me, with that fierce passsion shining through her eyes, and tell me I was missing it. I was not doing the music justice. I was cheating myself and those that I performed for.

I finally got it. When I heard this man talking through the story, the passion, the pain. And it was the fact that it was word for word. He knew the language, he knew the MEANING behind every part of it. Funny thing was it was a song I had performed myself, many times. And I thought I had it. It was always well recieved, I always got great reviews. But I'd never heard it like this. It had never moved me like this. Because I really didn't know. I really didn't understand.

I knew the words. I knew the story. But maybe it's because, now, years later, I get the PREMISE. I've lived life. I'm not some 18 year old playing at life. I've been there, done that.

I wish I could still sing. I would love to try that again. But with understanding, REAL understanding. What really ticks me off is I wonder just how far I could have gone if I had listened in the first place.......

In My Mind......

I’m going to warn you straight up – this is probably going to be a long, ramblin’ post about the crap in my head. I don’t expect any answers, and really I do know everything will fall into place – but I have to get it out of my head. I have to. And right now – this is my only option.

You see, I’m having some Internet issues. And when I have Internet issues I also have phone issues. I’d get it fixed but…….I’m on a count down now and it hardly seems worth it. PLUS – no phone, no help.

So – I’m going to try and write it out. TRY being the operative word. In order to spare you a long post I’ll just go ahead and put it into the extended entry. Enter at your own risk……

I’m starting to come to terms with moving back to Florida. I know that just sounds so weird. I mean I’ve been reading back through my GOOD-BYE posts and I know I love it there. I know I do. But you see, this wasn’t the plan. Not at all. I had said my good-bye and was fully prepared to be a tourist from here on out.

But as I sort through things I find myself excited. Excited to find that part of me again. That part that loves the bright clothes, that part that pushed the envelope a bit. I don’t know why I haven’t been able to let my hair down here – maybe it’s because of the job I had…..working for a conservative Christian company did kinda dampen my spirit. Plus – it’s been a chaotic year. Moving and moving now moving again. Getting a job, hoping it would be good, then losing it. Coming here to help my family and having that blow up in my face. Now having to leave a home I really love – and all of that with no plan.

So I’ve been purging and packing. Focusing on what I will enjoy about being back there. I’ve got a couple of job leads already, the plans for the move are made, and while I know it’ll take a year to get back on my feet, it’s all doable. Many people are very happy to see this happen.

Then yesterday there was a wrench thrown into the works. I had applied for a job up here that really caught my interest. It’s working in sales for a food company. They are launching a new brand and putting together a sales team in Rockford to make that happen. I had the first interview yesterday. As the sales manager described how they are setting this up, the expectations and goals I found my heart beating faster. I found myself wanting to be a part of that. KNOWING how hard that would be – new launches are always difficult – but also KNOWING how kickass it is when it all comes together.

That’s when it hit me. WTF am I doing? I don’t have a home as of June 1st. Oh, I have a couch in Florida – but that is putting so many people out. My Cuz and her family, although I know they are actually pretty excited about it. Everything I own will be in storage for at least a year. No kitchen of my own. No quiet dinners, no personal life. Not that they would ask me to give that up – it’s just the cost of admission.

Here? I have to keep packing and purging. I have to. Either way I’m out of here the first of June. How do I make that happen? What do I do until I can find someplace? Can I find someplace?

Why can’t anything in my life be easy? Clear? I want a flashing neon sign that says “This is what I’m gonna need for you to do…” pointing me in the right direction. Just once I DON’T want the burden of making all the decisions. Just once I want it to all be clear before me.

But it’s not. And it probably never will be. So – I’ll wait to hear what this food company thinks. I’ll keep packing and purging. I’ll keep saying good-bye. And I’ll keep wondering just how it’s all gonna work out.

FREE GRILLS for Hurricane season

Yipee.....I mentioned the other evening that isn't it ironic that I'll be back to Florida just in time for hurricane season. This is an email I just received - thought you might enjoy it.

In anticipation of one of the worst Hurricane season on record stores are helping get everyone prepared.
Don't miss this deal - I picked up one today!

This is not a joke. You can get a free BBQ grill. The grill is large enough to prepare an entire meal at one time.

It is chrome plated and will not rust. The retail value of this grill is about $250 - $300 dollars. Picks yours

up today from any of the following stores:

K-Mart
Kroger's
Wal-Mart
Local IGA Store
COSTCO
Sam's Club

Just see below for details! Hurry supplies are limited

H/T Cuz.......you can tell we're family, can't ya!

Knock Knock. Who's There?

I think The Little Blue Cracker House is mad that I'm leaving.

Seriously.

Monday I started the packing process. Sorting through clothes, some to the curb, some for Mama's garage sale and the rest with me. I'm being brutal. Really I am. You'd be amazed at how much I'm getting rid of.

Anyway - as soon as I pulled the boxes and luggage out I noticed a different "feel" to things. And in the afternoon I would have sworn someone was in the house.

The bedroom door drifted open and closed not once but THREE times during the day. And NO, I didn't have a window open.

There are noises coming from the basement. It's a knocking sound.

The house is groaning.

Yep - I'm thinkin' TLBCH is not really happy I'm leaving. Probably because it knows how much I love it (because you do realize I tell it so every time I come home).

That being said..... I'm gonna need for it to get over it pretty soon - it's kinda creepin' me out!!!!

Logistics

Just in case anyone was interested/worried - here's the logistical plans so far.

Pick up the truck on Saturday 5/27.

Start loading right away.

Go to breakfast Tuesday 5/30 (early) and hit the road.

Being as we are driving a 17' truck and towing a car we've decided to add the miles just to miss the mountains. So we're hoping/planning on about 12 hour driving days.

That should get us in to St. Pete by no later than Thursday.

I'm gonna make me a sign for the cab.

Thanks RedNeck!!!!

Hmmmm

I modified my resume this morning - putting in the Florida contact info.

Posted for 8 jobs. Already heard from one recruiter.

The only thing that scared me was when she asked why I was coming back I explained (a bit) and finished with "I heard the job market is much stronger than it is here."

Silence..............

But still - at least I got some responses today.

Weakness?

I heard a song on the radio this morning at breakfast. It was that country song about all those shots of tequila.

You know, back in the day - I pretty much lived that song. Now? I'm thinkin' I probably can't hang like I used to.

My record is 8 shots (generous) in 20 minutes. And I'll be honest - it wasn't pretty. No - not at all.

But I do love me some tequila. Seriously. I like it nice and smooth. If it's good I'll just use it as a nice sip. If it's not? Well that's why the good Lord invented margaritas - isn't it???

And the funny thing is, it doesn't make me mean. Doesn't make me nasty. Nope. Not at all. I just smile. A lot. Well, then eventually I sleep (which is always a good thing).

So anyway - do you have a weakness? Something you know you should just stay away from? Just because you like it soooo much.....

And no - I'm not on another drunk....promise. It was just hearing this song brought back some (fuzzy) memories......

No Count Down

In one of the comments LeeAnn mentioned a count down clock. I'm thinkin' no.

You see this is kinda a mixed thing for me. I'm angry that it didn't work out. I'm so very sad to be leaving the folks up here.

BUT - I do love Florida. I have a very strong support group there. And I hear the job market is much better than what I'm seeing here.

But I'm sad to be leaving folks up here. Oh, did I say that already? Well, I am.

So - no count down clock. I'm leaving the day after Memorial Day. 3 weeks from tomorrow. Instead of counting down, I'll occupy myself with sorting and packing. I'll keep as busy as I can. I'll deal with everything else on the sand.

What Classical Movie Are You????

What Classic Movie Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

Ok then....this is what I'm gonna need for you to do...................

Found over at Ogre's place.

It Just Dawned on Me

Holy Shit.

In less than a month I'll be HERE.

Holy Shit.

I'm Good

OK - I'm good for the day. Seriously. If nothing else happens during the next 24 hours I've fine with that.

Why? What could have happened before 9:30 am to make me this content?

I'm so happy you asked.

I just put on a pair of 15 year old jeans. Yep - you read that right. I just poured myself - comfortably, no less - into a pair of jeans that are over a decade old.

And they fit.

I'm very happy with that.

See.....it doesn't take much. Nope - I keep sayin' I'm easy...............

Perspective

Surprising as it sounds - I woke up very clear headed this morning. That fact is all the more surprising when you think about the amount of alcohol I consumed yesterday. Yep - that's right. Tammi went on a drunk.

But in the light of day, I'm focused and functioning. We (my cousin and I) have pretty much everything already worked out.

She flies in on the 25th of May. We'll pack that weekend (easily done with the 2 of us) and get the truck that following Tuesday. We'll probably tow my car (which makes me a bit nervous) and leave that evening. In Florida, the stuff goes into storage, I take a few days to catch some sun and let everyone know I'm home.

Then find a job, and get a place.

Sounds so simple, doesn't it. But I'll be honest. There are as many reasons that sadden me about going as there are that make me happy.

I've missed my friends and family down there. Very much.
I've been bitchin' about getting my feet in the sand - that will no longer be an issue.
I have contacts in Florida. Big time. Shouldn't be too difficult finding a good job.

BUT - I'll sooooo miss the folks up here. More than I can say. Shit, just typin' this I start to tear up.

I love my Little Blue Cracker House.
I will miss my privacy. Very Much.

So - today it's six of one half dozen of the other. But - there are no options right now. I faced that fact long about the 3rd beer yesterday (and it was only reinforced as the day went on). You do what you have to do. And - if you don't want to be miserable your whole life (which I WON'T) you make it work.

Actually - I'm pretty good at that. But there will be a lot of sunset walks on the beach.

Lights? Can someone turn on the lights please......

Things change. Quickly. Often times for no reason.

What brings this thought on? Well, let me tell you....

I just found out that my landlady got a cash offer on The Little Blue Cracker House yesterday. She couldn't turn it down. I have to be out by the 1st of June.

So.....it looks like once again my beloved Cuz is coming to my rescue. She's coming up over Memorial Day weekend, we'll finish packing the house, rent a truck and I'm on my way back to Florida.

The funniest part about all this? Just this morning I was praying for a sign on what I should do. Looking for some direction. I knew there was a reason I was here, at this place at this time, but I just couldn't see why.......and more than that I couldn't see what I was supposed to do next.

So - the next month is gonna be kinda weird. I have so many people to say good bye to. I have so much to do - cross country moving is not an easy task. ESPECIALLY on short notice.

I know it'll all be alright. I know that there is a plan. I just wish to hell I could be let in on it. I'm not so good workin' in the dark.......

Family Pride

Y'all know I love the babies. There is nothing on earth gives me the same feeling as hearing those sweet voices or being on the receiving end of a sloppy kiss or big ole hug.

I need it. I miss it.

My niece and blogdaughter Carmen has thrown her Auntie Tammi a bone and posted about her nephew (and my sweetie) Jr.

Give it a read. It's a chance to learn a bit more about this wonderful family I'm a part of. Just in case you're curious.

Not This Year

This year is kinda weird for me. For a couple of reasons. I'm tryin' to find new ways to celebrate old (for me) holidays.

Today is Cinco de Mayo. The 5th of May. A huge holiday for me (mainly because I love Mexican food and Mexican beer - not to mention Tequila!!!) The only day bigger than that on my drinkin' calendar is Dingus Day - and I didn't even go to the bar this year for that!! Shit - can't let that happen again.

But back to Cinco de Mayo. Seriously - I usually take the day off, sit at a beach beach drinkin' margarita's all day. Mexican food a plenty (my favorite). But that won't be happenin' today. For a couple of reasons.

The first is easy to understand. Hell - I'm unemployed. I can't be doin' that shit.

But the other reason is because of this past Monday. I'm kinda pissed. I'm mad that all these illegal aliens think they have the right to bitch and complain when they won't take any of the responsibility. Now, I'm more than aware it isn't just the Mexican's in the country illegally, but come on - let's be honest here - that's the majority that are raising the roof right now.

I know I'm not saying anything new here. But I'm gonna say it anyway. You want rights? You want us to celebrate your culture? Then flippin' take some responsibility. You sayin' your so good for our economy. Help me understand somethin'. You take jobs away - yes, they are low paying, but if you didn't do them someone else would. And sittin' here unemployed I gotta tell you - it's kinda pissin' me off. You spend money. Oh, yes you do.......but I would too if I got a flippin' paycheck. You want health care? Guess what. So do I. And I've had some damed good jobs that don't have the health care you want. So bite me. I sit here day after day, worryin' about rent and food and utilities. You seem to act like you want us to just provide all that for you. Not on my watch.

So - even though today is one of my favorite days of the year, there will be no celebrating in Tammi's World. No tequila, no nachos, no cha cha. Nope. Not gonna happen.

In my own little way, I'm making a point.

Friday Fiction

Christina has once again gotten the ball rolling on a wonderful project. A Blogvella. It's a series of writers, each doing a chapter, each published on Friday.

The first Chapter of the first series is posted. Holy Shit. It's GREAT!!!

The Reluctant Assassin - Chapter One can be found over at Villains Vanquished. Phoenix has set the bar high. But as I look ahead at the rest of that team, I got a feelin' it's allllll good!!

So give yourself a treat. It's Friday. You deserve it!!

For Bou

Bou and I were talkin' about Banana Pancakes (or something like that) while we were in Austin last weekend.

Now, I know they aren't to everyone's taste. Hell I'm not very fond of them myself.

But I figure I'll go ahead and post a recipe. Just in case anyone is interested.....

INGREDIENTS:

* 1 cup all-purpose flour
* 1 tablespoon white sugar
* 2 teaspoons baking powder
* 1/4 teaspoon salt
* 1 egg, beaten
* 1 cup milk
* 2 tablespoons vegetable oil
* 2 ripe bananas, mashed

DIRECTIONS:

1. Combine flour, white sugar, baking powder and salt. In a separate bowl, mix together egg, milk, vegetable oil and bananas.

2. Stir flour mixture into banana mixture; batter will be slightly lumpy.

3. Heat a lightly oiled griddle or frying pan over medium high heat. Pour or scoop the batter onto the griddle, using approximately 1/4 cup for each pancake. Cook until pancakes are golden brown on both sides; serve hot.

Garnish with bananas and nuts. You gotta have bananas and nuts with your banana pancakes. Adds that special somethin'.

Nice and easy. :-)

Never EVER!!!

Just in case you thought that I forgot I'm unemployed....no. No I haven't.

I've been postin away. AND getting responses.

The funniest (at least to me) was the letter waiting for me when I got back from Austin.

I had applied for a Marketing position (entry level) with a FoodService company in the area. Folks - if you read my resume and see my skills, I coulda done that job. Easy. I just never had a job title that said MARKETING. It was always just a part of what I did in sales.

Anyway - let me share a part of that letter with you.

Tammi,

We recieved your resume bla bla bla bla.

After reviewing you skills and qualifications and comparing them with our needs we have decided we will never ever call you for an interview. (emphasis mine)

I cracked up. Seriously - food and beverage companies are known for being "Title Snobs". If you didn't have the title before than OBVIOUSLY you are too stupid to do the job. So I wasn't terribly surprised at the rejection.

What cracked me up was the way she put it. Never Ever. Hehehe. I'm thinkin' she's new to the HR position. Ahhh well....she'll learn. Oh yes she will.

Other than that I've been posting like a crazy woman. No new interviews scheduled.

And I'll just keep pluggin' away. I just thought I better let y'all know where things stand with all that.

UPS was Here

I got a box.

In the mail yesterday.

From my friend _Jon.

He sent me a sound card and a VCR. Now I can blog with the big kids and hear stuff AND I can finally watch some of those old tapes I have.

Thank you sweetie!!! Now lets just hope I don't blow up my tower installin' that sound card.

Wish me luck!!!

Road Trip - The Return

Well, to round out the posts about my weekend I need to tell y'all about the trip home. I've already covered the, umm, well, exciting trip south there HERE.

Sunday started out with a wonderful breakfast at Ihop with T1G, Ellison, Bou and Eric. Damn - I'm amazed I was able to eat given all the laughing I was doing. I'm tellin' you folks - what a crew!!!

We hit the road headin' for Arkansas. See - this weekend was kinda like Christmas and my birthday all rolled into one. Blogmeet AND I got to spend time with Army Wife and her family. I was so excited.

T1G wouldn't let me drive. Hmmmm wonder what THAT was all about. So I settled myself in the passenger seat and prepared for the 8 hour drive. As we speed our way north we come across this beautiful body of water. Sun was shining, water like glass, sail boats..... You KNOW that caught my attention.

Tammi: Oh my, isn't that gorgeous.

T1G: Yeah, it's suchandsuch reservoir.

Tammi: How do you know it's a reservoir?

T1G: Well, there's this big metal thing, back there, on the side of the road. It's called a sign......

Tammi: Signs? Signs?! Phew.....(breaks into song) Signs Signs Everywhere there's signs Blocking up the scenery Breaking up my mind

At that point I'm pretty sure he was wishin' he'd left me in Illinois.....

Anyway - It was a smooth, uneventful trip to Arkansas. As we neared AW's house I told him I was kinda nervous.

Now, I need to tell you AW and I are GREAT friends. In fact some folks say we share a brain. There is NO reason I should be nervous about this visit.

Except.....

I was meeting her Darling Husband. I sooo wanted him to like me. It makes friendship so much easier that way. And I know I can be irritating. I know I can get on your last nerve. Let's face it, you either love me or hate me. I soooo needed him to at least like me.

**Note to self: do NOT tell T1G when you're nervous about something. Oh yeah, it's like presenting an arsonist with an endless supply of matches. He'll just keep striking and striking. But he really did help me loosen up about it all.

We got to the house and knocked on the door. As I saw her walking through the kitchen I felt the smile start. And seriously - I didn't STOP smiling until we were leaving. Hugs were exchanged and then it was TIME.

Up walks a very handsome man. Smiling, with the kindest eyes. Next thing I know I was on the receiving end of the biggest hug!!! Oh yeah, we were gonna get along just fine!!!

A wonderful meal, playing with those sweet sweet babies and it was time to hunker down in the living room for conversation and cocktails. It was the perfect way to end an evening.

The next morning AW treats us to a huge breakfast and then proceeds to pack a goodie bag for us to take on the road. Snugglin' with Pink Ninja and havin' Dash sneak kisses was just what this tired girl needed. All too soon it was time to leave. I don't think I'll ever forget the look on Pink Ninja's face as she watched us get into the car. Yeah....she's got me wrapped right around her finger. No doubt about it.

So we head toward the highway when I mention I've really gotta stop for a soda. Since I'm driving I wanted the caffeine. That would be when T1G pointed out that yeah, we probably outta stop since we were ALMOST OUTTA GAS!!! You know, I've really gotta start paying more attention.

We pull into the gas station and I head in to take care of business. Here's where it gets weird. I figure I hit the little girls room, get the soda, smoke 1/2 cigarette and Voila! Ready to Go.

As I walk in this guy was standing by the door. He is watching me. He starts following mumblin' some gibberish about how beautiful I was. Next thing I know, he followed me INTO the Women's Bathroom. Here's how that went:

Tammi: WTF?!?! Hey! This is the WOMENS bathroom.

Weird Guy: Yeah, I know but I just wanted to tell you...

Tammi: Out. Out. I'm gonna need you to GET OUT. NOW.

He did. But I gotta admit, that kinda threw me.

I came out and headed to get the sodas and....yep - he's still there. I get the drinks and pay as he's still mumblin' that same litany. Finally as I put the change in my pocket I realize he's gone.

Thank Goodness.

Oh wait. I'm not that lucky. He was waiting outside the door for me. He starts walking with me towards the car. All of a sudden he realizes where I'm headed and stops.

Weird Guy: Oh. Your not alone?

Tammi: (gesturing with BOTH 44oz drinks) No.

Weird Guy: OK. Well, thank you Ma'am, for makin' my day. You are a delight.

Only me folks. Seriously. It's why I can never live in Arkansas.

So - we get on the road and it's just as good a drivin' day as Sunday. As we near St. Louis T1G calls our buddy BloodSpite to see if he wants to meet up with us for dinner.

We pick him up and head to the Chinese Buffet. Yummy...I'm tellin' you folks - it was a GREAT food weekend for me. Honest.

The conversation, as always with BloodSpite, was wonderful. I decided the guys needed a little "boy time" so I headed outside to walk around, have a few cigarettes and get my soda for the next leg of the journey. As I was standing by the car a guy walks up to me.

Strange Dude: Pam?

Tammi: No.

Strange Dude: Really, Pam?

Tammi: No, I'm not Pam.

Strange Dude: Come on - you're Pam, right??

Tammi: No (starting to get a bit nervous)

Seems the Strange Dude mistook me for....wait for it......a prostitute. Yep, you read that one right. Me. Tammi. A hooker. (And it's not the first time this has happened to me!)

I was very happy to see the guys arrive shortly after that exchange. We head back to drop off BloodSpite and after some more conversation and the exchange of hugs we were on our way.

We headed into a doozie of a storm. Luckily it was T1G driving at this point. I have trouble with night driving - but rainy night driving, yeah - not so much.
We arrived home safe and sound sometime around 12:45. It was a great trip - interesting, funny and actually pretty relaxing.

View from the 6th Floor Patio

I have been working since yesterday morning to come up with my recap of the Austin blogmeet. Now, I will admit I always struggle with these types of posts. It might surprise you to know I'm kinda wordy. Yeah, imagine that. I can't just tell a story, oh no.......I gotta give you all the details and wander all around it before I can get to the point. And with everything that happened this weekend, all of the incredible people I met, my post just keeps growing and growing and growing. (hmmm reading back, I probably should have said that differently, but you see what I'm gettin' at!)

Anyway - so have patience. I'm pullin' it together.

What I can do is just give you a glimpse. A glimpse from the 6th floor patio of the Austin Holiday Inn, that is!!!

Holy Shit I had a good time.

And, honestly I needed that more than I can say. Spending time laughin and talking with people that I enjoyed that much was EXACTLY what the doctor ordered.

Before I go one step further I have to thank OddyBobo and T1G for even making this trip possible. I didn't know until Wednesday night I was going, and these two are the two that made it happen. Thank you guys - more than I can ever say. You just don't know how much this meant to me.

I was very excited to see some of the bloggers I had already had a chance to meet. I knew Zonker was gonna be there and I just couldn't WAIT to see him again. Seriously - this guy is about the best hugger ever. And he has a way of making you feel so special. Thanks Dude. And I'm so workin' on gettin' down there this fall. I promise.

I'd had the pleasure of meeting Leslie at Fritz Fest in February, but we didn't have much chance to talk. Still didn't get the long term quality conversation we were both hoping for, but made a good start. I see some serious girl time in our future. Near future. Leslie - you are the best darlin'. And you know, you are welcome here at the Little Blue Cracker House anytime!!!!!!

I'd met Denny at Eric's place last fall and fell under his charm. There is just somethin' about a man and a guitar (not to mention kazoo!!) Funny and charming - the real deal. It was treat to see him again.

And my favorite Redneck. Dude - I just love you. This man had me laughing harder than I remember laughing in forever!!! And he's such a marketing genius. Don't Dream and Drive. The PERFECT Tammi's World T-shirt. And Neck? Yeah, I'll work on the whole Doris Day thing, really I will. I just can't make any promises.......... Oh, and don't you dare forget about our bet this year!!!

Eric, that Straight White Guy, is always a pleasure to hang out with. Having a conversation with him is always a treat. Just remind me not to try and bullshit you any time, 'mkay?!? ;-)

My girl Bou was there. And I have to be honest - she was one of the main reasons I was so damned excited to be able to make the trip. I couldn't wait to see her again. While we didn't get much "one on one" time, it was great just being able to look up and see her across the room, or hear her laughter. It's the nice thing about friendships like ours. We know, we just know.

Jimbo Jimbo Jimbo. One of my favorite people in life. Seriously. This man's got it all.....talent, humor, smarts and GREAT FAROOKIN' HAIR. Dude, honest to goodness, even your hat hair rocks!!! ;-) And another one that I can just sit and listen play and sing for hours. I'm just ticked I didn't get my good-bye hug. Oh well, that just means we'll have to meet up again SOON!

Oddybobo was my roommate and salvation. I adore this woman. Plain and simple. Her smile, her laughter (not to mention that adorable son of her's). You can't help but feel good when you're anywhere around her. I love ya darlin'. And you're right - we'll be getting together again....soon. THAT'S a promise!!! And I miss you already too!!!

And my poor buddy T1G. God love 'im. That guy has the patience of a saint and the humor of, well, someone with a lot of humor. Seriously - think about it.....all that time trapped in a car with me and my half-a-brain. He's the other reason I was able to make the trip and part of the reason I've hung on to what sanity I have. I cannot imagine a blogmeet without him. They just don't make 'em any better than this guy. Period.

Now add to the fact that I got to spend time with all these folks I already count as friends, the fact that I got to meet so many new folks - and WOW!! You can see why I'm having such a hard time getting my hands around this whole thing.

Ellison - holy cow. I cannot begin to tell you how much I enjoy this man. Damn. NEVER a dull moment, always up to help pull off a stunt, funny, funny, funny. And the best insight. Not to mention charming!!! And yes, I'm gushin'. So what?! I adore this guy!!! And I'm tellin' you what - if I'm anywhere near Atlanta??? Yeah, you better be available for a drink. I'm just sayin'.

Marcus is another charming gentleman that I just am thrilled I got to spend time with. I just wish I hadn't of brought up the whole sales meeting connection - damn Dude....sorry about that. Whoda thunk it was such a small world. But I will say - if I get to Houston, I so wanna hang out on the Patio, sippin' drinks and listenin' to stories. Can we just make sure if we go anywhere, we take a cab? Yeah, the whole direction thing? Not so good. But I still love ya!!!

I had the pleasure of meeting Acidman. And I'll be honest - I have a hard time thinkin' of him as "the Acidman" after spending time with him. Oh, I've been a reader of his for some time now, so I know he can be. But the man I met? The first phrase that comes to mind? Charming Southern Gentleman. Seriously. His smile is flat out beautiful, lights up his whole face, echoing in his eyes. And when you're having a conversation with him? You HAVE his attention. And I can't even begin to describe the pleasure of hearing him play and sing. A joy. A real joy. Plain and simple.

What can I say about Christina? Words just flat out escape me. Delightful? Intelligent? Full of joy? All that is true, and so much more. And so you know - I really do have your back sweetie. Honest I do. As soon as I stop laughing. ;-) But seriously, I've talked to this wonderful woman a few times on the phone and have read her forever, and STILL she surpassed all I expected. And her mother! OMG - I ADORE her! What a treat. Yes darlin' - I will come visit. I cannot think of anything I would enjoy more. I love ya!!!

And part of the joy of THAT visit would be the opportunity to spend more time with the Dashing Dash. Wow. Yeah, that sums it up pretty well - Wow. I'm just so glad I got to visit with this guy - that Louisiana Charm is leathel. And here again - another great hugger. It was a pleasure Sir. Truly.

Talking with the Confabulator was an adventure. That man has more stories than, well, I do. And funny! Holy Cow. Cman - I am SOOOO glad I got to meet you and cannot express how much I enjoyed talking with you!!!

I think I've mentioned that Jimbo is one of my favorite people in life. Well, it should come as no surprise that I simply, flat out adore his daughter. TJ Rocks!!! There's really no other way to put it. She has a beautiful voice, and I can just imagine how much fun it is at those family gatherings. Her laughter is infectuious and she's just quick as quick can be. Nope, there's no gettin' anything past that one. Oh yeah, it's lookin' more and more like I'm going to need to add the East Coast to my list of Must Visits. Love ya TJ. And I'm SOOOO glad you're back to blogging.

Livey was another blogger I had not had the pleasure of meeting before. And I'll tell you what - I think she out hugs me. Yes, you read that right. I would lay money on the fact that she gave out more hugs than even I. It was wonderful to meet you, Ma'am. I look forward to the next time.

I was really looking forward to meeting the infamous Shoe. On her blog she comes across as smart, funny, quick....all the things I most admire in a person. She was all that and more. She did a fantastic job of pulling this all together and my only regret is that I didn't get to spend more time getting to know her.

It was wonderful to see that Kelley made the trip. I have to admit, I've always been in a bit of awe with her. I read and just never comment. But she was wonderful. Just wonderful.

I feel just terrible that I didn't get the opportunity to spend time with Walrilla, Nancy, El Capitan and Knine. Hopefully I'll get the chance to make that right. In the very near future.

Yikes! Obviously that turned out to be a bit more than a glimpse. See....I told you I can be a bit wordy at times!!!

Again for EVERYONE that made it possible that I could be there - from the bottom of my heart. Thank You!!!!!

Seriously - this weekend was everything I needed and more than I could have hoped for. I laughed, I cried (only when leaving Bou) and ate really great food. Well and I guess I did have a drink or two. ;-) I heard beautiful music and wonderful stories.

What more could a girl ask for???

Basic Math

While I'm workin' on my Austin Post - I got this via email and thought it too funny not to share.....

BASIC MATH:

Last week I purchased a burger at Burger King for $1.58. The counter girl took my $2 and I was digging for my change when I pulled 8 cents from my pocket and gave it to her. She stood there, holding the nickel and 3 pennies, while looking at the screen on her register. I sensed her discomfort and tried to tell her to just give me two quarters, but she hailed the manager for help. While he tried to explain the transaction to her, she stood there and cried.

Why do I tell you this?

Because of the evolution in teaching math since the 1950s:

1. Teaching Math In 1950

A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit?

2. Teaching Math In 1960

A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or $80. What is his profit?

3. Teaching Math In 1970

A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80. Did he make a profit?

4. Teaching Math In 1980

A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80 and his profit is $20. Your assignment: Underline the number 20.

5. Teaching Math In 1990

A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the preservation of our woodlands. He does this so he can make a profit of $20. What do you think of this way of making a living? Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down their homes? (There are no wrong answers.)

6. Teaching Math In 2005

Un hachero vende una carretada de maderapara $100. El costo de la producciones es $80.

You Ain't Gonna Believe This!

Ok - so I kinda forgot to tell you I was going to Texas, didn't I?! Well, as it happened last Wednesday, thanks to a couple of incredible folks, I got the chance to go to the Austin Blown-Star Blog Meet. So...I went.

Now, I'm gonna tell you all about the fun, laughter, food, hugs, booze and well, other cool stuff. Really I am. But right now, it's 1:19am and I just got home. So - it's gonna have to wait.

What I am gonna tell you a bit about is the actual road trip. Then - I think y'all should pool together and get T1G a really cool award of some kind. Seriously - this guy has more than earned it. Hmmm I wonder if I can put a star with his name on it in front of Fritz's?? You know, Stillman Valley's version of the Hollywood Walk of Fame....

He just drove to TEXAS and back with ME in the car.......Sainthood would apply if it weren't for the whole Jebus thing and all.....

Anyway - sorry - I got side tracked.....

I was going to entitle this: What I did on my spring Vacation....tried to kill my best friend twice in 4 hours.

Yep. You read that right. It was ugly folks. Really ugly.

You see - I didn't sleep much Wednesday night. I didn't know for sure I was going until around 7:00 and I had some stuff to do to get ready. Plus, let's be honest. I was excited. I was goin' to Texas. I was going to see/meet some of my favorite people.

Thursday morning, I'm runnin' around tryin' to get stuff done and get all ready. We get on the road around 1:30pm. He starts out driving the first batch. Now, in my defence, I have to say the one reason we travel well together is because I'm the day driver, he's the night driver. It works. Don't f*ck with it. Well, we kinda didn't follow that process. He drove most of the day. I took over in St. Louis right around dusk.

Now, just beofe this point, I'm not sure when it happened, I rolled the window up on my foot. Pinchin' my toes. (shoulda been a sign of some sort.) I didn't get a lot of sympathy, now that I look back. Seems he's never heard of anyone doin' that. Anyone? Have you done it? Come on - help me out here....

Anyway - it's dark. I'm so tired. He takes the next turn and gets us through Oklahoma. I take over in Texas. We're drivin', drivin', drivin'. It's very dark. We hit Dallas. It's still really dark. I'm gettin' sleepy. Not a real good combination.

Oh, did I ever mention that I can fall asleep at the drop of a hat? No warning, no nothin? Yeah, no I didn't? Hmmmm probably should have made that fact known.

Anyway-we get to Waco and it's only just barely not dark. Now, this is where it gets fuzzy. I'm told there was a long (described as angry) beeeeeeppppp. I did not hear it. What I do hear is a calm voice ask me how I'm doin' over there. Now, I've always said, I'm a shitty liar. I don't even bother. So - I jerk and realize what happened. I then say - oh, sorry. I was sleeping.

Sound asleep folks. On what ever highway it was we were on flyin' through Waco.

Seems I kinda sorta drove into the lane to my right. Problem was, there was a car there. Thank goodness the lady driving that car was on her game!!

Son of a bitch. I almost killed my best friend.

(the first time)

So - we pull off, I get out, walk around, get a soda and smoke a couple cigarettes. Then get back in and keep driving.

We finally get to Austin and find the hotel. I go in to see if it's possible to check in. I left the keys with him.

I walk out and explain a) no one can check in yet. b) Oddy and I have a reservation....he does not.

So - I go back in to see what I can do. He follows me in to get on a waiting list for a room. At some point I decide I need to clean up so I get the keys back from him and get my luggage from the car. I then slip the keys into my purse. (this is important to remember as the story continues.)

I go and get changed and cleaned up and head back outside. About that time, Shoe and Redneck show up. WooHoo. The party is ready to start!!!! Shoe has a cooler and T1G went to put it in the car. I assured him he had the keys.

I then head into the hotel.

I come back out to a very, umm, how should I say this.....aggitated, yes, that will work. I came outside to see an aggitated T1G standing next to a snickerin' Redneck by the car.

Seems T1G thought the keys were locked in the car. Kinda panicked. Until he remembered I had the keys. Then he REALLY panicked. (My track record this trip wasn't so good....)

Yeah, I just about caused him to have a stroke.

So you see - I tried to kill my best friend 2x in 4 hours.

And that was just the trip THERE. Wait till you hear about the trip BACK........