Tammi's World

Took A While....

I was watching some movie on TV the other day, and a point that someone tried to make years ago finally sunk in.

In the movie a guy was listening to an Italian aria. In the scene he was translating, word for word what the singer was singing. It was amazing to me.

You see - I studied opera for years. I was a classical singer before I was anything else. I competed every year in high school, singing both soprano and alto along with any esemble I could sign up for. I loved to sing. I especially loved a good aria.

There was this one judge. She was the lead Soprano for a rather famous Opera House at the time. It never failed. I ALWAYS got her as one of my judges. I could count on it.

Since I did so many different songs, some in Italian, some in German, some in Latin, very rarely any in English, I didn't have time to learn the exact translations. But I would learn the story. I felt if I knew the story I could convey the "feel" of the song. Plus I've always been a bit of a "teller". I like putting my own spin on things. Jazz it up, make it more dramatic. Not a bad trait in a presenter or even a performer. However, doesn't fly real well in the world of opera. Not really.

So - I'd work very hard. And I would nail it. I say that without any bragging - I was just good. I never got less than 1st place rating. And I'd get 2 out of 3 perfects every single time.

Except for her. Every year, as my performance closed she would ask me a question in what ever language I sang in. And every year I would stand there blinking, not having a clue what she was saying.

Every year she would mark me down one point for not speaking the language.

Imagine my surprise when she took a sabatical and ended up at Goshen College - where I was attending. I had a full ride scholarship to study classical voice and ended up with her as my prof.

AGAIN she busted my ass for not speaking the language of the music. I tried to explain to her - I'm good at mimicking, but I don't pick up languages well at all. I can repeat it, but my mind won't retain the exact meanings.

And every time she would look at me, with that fierce passsion shining through her eyes, and tell me I was missing it. I was not doing the music justice. I was cheating myself and those that I performed for.

I finally got it. When I heard this man talking through the story, the passion, the pain. And it was the fact that it was word for word. He knew the language, he knew the MEANING behind every part of it. Funny thing was it was a song I had performed myself, many times. And I thought I had it. It was always well recieved, I always got great reviews. But I'd never heard it like this. It had never moved me like this. Because I really didn't know. I really didn't understand.

I knew the words. I knew the story. But maybe it's because, now, years later, I get the PREMISE. I've lived life. I'm not some 18 year old playing at life. I've been there, done that.

I wish I could still sing. I would love to try that again. But with understanding, REAL understanding. What really ticks me off is I wonder just how far I could have gone if I had listened in the first place.......

Posted by Tammi at May 11, 2006 10:25 AM | TrackBack