Tammi's World

Tammi Trivia

1/3 of my accounts with this new job have the word Amish in their names.

Hmmmm..........ya think THAT might be a good fit?!?!??!

Good and Bad

I've used Vonage phone service since 2005. For the most part I am very pleased. $29.95 and I get unlimited calls. No long distant charges and as long as I have high speed cable I'm golden.

However, I hate to call them. Seriously. It just gets on my last nerve.

Let me see if I can explain. When I added the wireless router to my system I had all sorts of problems getting everything to run correctly. So I called the help line. Holy Crap. What a cluster THAT was.

First, the guy barely spoke English. Add in that I tend to catch on to an idea and move ahead of things, and well there was a lot of (read with very heavy Indian accent) "Stop clicking Ms. Tammi !! Stop clicking!!!" (Modified because I am an idiot!)

ANYway, we finally got it all up and running.

Now, fast forward to this morning. I need to add a fax line. Simple. I just need an upgraded modem, since this one is so old. I've been on the phone with this guy for almost an hour. I had even called last week to do a little investigating to find out how this would all work.

The guy will not deviate from his script. If I answer in any way other than YES or NO he's thrown for a loop. (And I need to mention his English SUCKS!)

I told him 4 times I want to keep the same phone number just transfer it to the new location and add in a fax line for $9.99 a month.

Pretty simple.

Oh. My. Gott.

We finally got it done, but I am reminded of the keys to successful customer service.

1) Be flexible.

2) LISTEN to the customer.

3) Find the easiest, quickest way to resolve the issue.

Now - I'm stickin' with Vonage. You really can't beat it on a day to day basis. But I'm just prayin' I don't have to call the customer service line again any time soon.

Free is Good

So we have this new bed coming out. I cannot wait for it to launch. They'll be presenting it at the show in Vegas in the very near future.

It's something I can sell. I know I can. I saw something similar in my runs yesterday, and that was nice, but I think ours will ROCK.

In talking with my boss during lunch, I mention the competitors model change. He didn't know about it. He asked what I thought. I told him it was nice, but I think ours will be even better. I love the concept. Plus, I want to buy one.

He said he could get me a good deal.

I said it's only right.

He said - "How about free?"

Free works for me.

So I get a new bed. I'll order it next week. I cannot wait!

My house will be the house everyone wants to stay at. I'll have the MOST comfortable beds and I promise very yummy breakfasts. :-)

I may get my dream of a Bed and Breakfast joint yet.

But meanwhile - YEAH for free beds!!!!!

I Love.....

I got the keys to Paradise yesterday.

Boxes begin relocating today. Clothes? This afternoon.

My goal? To have everything but the furniture and computer moved by June 15th. There is NO reason I can't hit that.

Oh - and the town garage sale is this weekend. Like Richmond, I'm going to try and A) save myself the work of moving EVERYTHING and B) convert some of this stuff to "green". But I'm pretty lucky there, since the Land Lady is letting me put my stuff in with her's.....

But I went over yesterday and wandered around. Ohhhh there's so much space. It FEELS like a mansion after the last 3 places I've lived. There's hallways. I love hallways. A house is not a home without hallways.

And it's got BIG windows. That let the sun in. And there are actual screens on those windows. Where you can draw in a breeze. Ahhhh I love a good breeze.

Did I mention the second kitchen? Yeah, I think we all know how I feel about THAT.

So - today is conference calls and moving boxes. The paperwork still hasn't come for me to pee in a cup, so I have to leave my schedule loose for that. And driving the short distance between The Belfry and Paradise to start unpacking. Unpacking in the air conditioning. Unpacking things into REAL closets. That are in actual hallways. In a home with windows.

It seems like forever since I've been in a real home. It's been a long time coming.....

No. I'm not excited. Why do you ask?

WooHoo

He's Running....He's Running!!!

Thompson wants to be 2008's outsider

Things Just Got Much More Interesting. And I mean that in a good way......

007

Ok, I can't take this inactivity. Really. I'm not so good with it. ESPECIALLY when it's a flippin' oven in this place already at 8:30 in the morning.

So, I've devised a plan. I'm goin' under cover.

I figure I'll head out and hit some stores. Oh, not any of MY customers, the competition. The opportunities. Those poor unknowing victims......

I love this. I get dressed (always a good start), nothing fancy, just comfy. Then I get in the car and drive. Drive til I see a Mattress store, Furniture store, Appliance store. Any place that looks like it might sell my product. Then.....are you ready for this? It's pretty high tech espionage. Then, I shop. Period. I walk in, tell them I'm just looking and just devour the store.

Now, I can't take notes, that would be a dead give away. So I memorize everything I can. Then, as soon as I get to the car I write like a crazy woman. That way, I've covered three bases. I know my market - who the players are, who's at what price points, etc. I know the demographic - who shops where. AND I get leads.

I can only really do this when I'm new in a territory. Like I've said a few times, it's kinda hard to miss a 6'2" woman and people tend to remember my face. So.....while I'm still "fresh" I want to kick this out. Plus - honestly, I've not done a lot of "home" shopping since I've lived here so I have no idea what's out there.

But this should be kinda fun. In a twisted shopping-lover-salesperson kinda way.

Plus - it'll get me out of this damned heat!

Good to Know

I read a post over at Mrs. Who's that had me rolling.

It's a list of things you can do with your child to thank their teacher, along with HER thoughts on the suggestions.

Here's a little sample:

#1. Share memorable moments. With your child, make a scrapbook for his teacher filled with his favorite things about school. Include stories, artwork, and photographs. Invite your child to decorate the book and be sure to include a note from you, as well.

Not only no, but HELL no! Teachers don’t need any more crap around their classroom or their house. Make it for yourself and keep it at YOUR house. Teachers have enough piles of paperwork to go through.

Oh, you've just got to go over and read the whole thing. Do yourself a favor. Damn, she's one funny educator!!!

Word of Mouth

Lovely. You know, I am one of those women that worries about her reputation. Now, I tend to sabotage it myself from time to time, but I do still worry.

THE Valley is a small town. Kinda quiet. A nice place. And being new to town, I didn't want to get off to a bad start - so I mind my P's and Q's.

Seems I may have done TOO good of a job at that.

I just spoke to the landlady. I haven't been able to reach her to let her know I got the house. She was not surprised to hear I did. I asked if she had talked to the gentleman. She had.

She said he asked about me. She said (in her words) "I told him you're clean and quiet. You take care of things and pay your rent. I said I didn't want to lose you, but you needed more space. I told him you don't drink and don't have men over."

Lovely. I am now condemned to a celibate sober life.

Well.....it is only a year lease.............

Ok this is weird.

Really weird.

I heard from my boss at 8:00 this morning as planned. I headed out around 9:00 for a bite of breakfast and to make sure I'd be near the landing zone once he decided where and when. 11:00 met up at a Denny's for some iced tea and business talk.

2 hour meeting and we went to go cold call a store.

Then lunch at PF Changs. I was headed back to THE Valley by 3:30pm.

I've been home for about 40 minutes now. It's not even 5:00. What the hell am I supposed to do? What do normal people do this time of the day? Is there decent TV on? Can I read without feeling guilty?

I've packed all the boxes I have right now, can't move them over until this weekend. Although I might shoot for tomorrow at this rate!

It's hotter than an oven here in The Belfry. Hot Hot Hot. I'm stuffed to the gills so there is no reason to cook.

Hell - other than peein' in a cup tomorrow I've got nothing scheduled at all!

Now, I know this will all change. SOON. But meanwhile, what's a girl to do with all this time on her hands?! It's an unplanned vacation and I think I'm gonna veg out on the couch and just enjoy the hell out of it.

But wow - it's really weird to be home this time of the day........

One thing for sure....

Huh. No first day jitters. None. I'm just sitting here, curlers in my hair (damned humidity anyway) waiting for the boss to call.

It's actually pretty cool. I heard from the new bossman the end of last week sayin' we'd just spend this week in the Chicago area. That we'd just meet up Tuesday (today) someplace and brainstorm.

Except we didn't decide on a place.

So here it is, Tuesday, May 29th. And I have no idea where I'm goin', what I'm doin'. Nothing. And I'm alright with that.

The Belfry is littered with boxes waiting to head over to Paradise and I'm alright with that too. The walls are pretty much bare. The tables are cleared off except for ashtrays and coasters. Looks kinda like a Frat House, minus the empty beer cans everywhere.

It was a good weekend. Actually it was a GREAT weekend. A nice segway from old to new. And it's given me a case of "NOW". I wanna move NOW. I wanna start training and meeting my customers NOW. NOW NOW NOW.

BUT.....all in due time. If I tried to move right now I'd put myself firmly behind the 8 ball. The plan is to have everything moved in from The Belfry (including Tammi) the week of June 15th. Just in time to avoid the worst of the heat and humidity. Can you say - sleep like a baby?!?!?! By the time Football season starts - well, let's just say Football Sunday's are gonna ROCK in Paradise. :-) All in due time. This patience thing is kinda cool. Wonder why it took this long for me to discover it!

The work thing? Yeah, it's gonna be slammin'. All new lines going on the first of July. A huge region to discover. And a few old scores to settle along the way.

So - I'm feelin' a bit like a cross between Alice in Wonderland and Dorthy in Oz. Well, except I'm not blond (I always heard Alice was blonde) and I don't have any red shoes (yet) - but other than that, yeah, it's pretty similar. It's like a parallel world. Looks familiar, but yet not really. I know this road. But can I be SURE of where it's leading? It's the same.....but different.

Yep, it's my life all right. That's the ONE thing that's certain.

Baby!!!

Harvey let's us know that Alex and Sally had a baby boy!!

Go. Read. Celebrate.

Congratulations!!!

Deal With It

Ok - so I'm a little "overly focused" on the whole move thing.

What do you expect? For cryin' out loud......

I start the new job tomorrow, so I spent most of the weekend packing everything I could into the boxes I have. And of course, what's left are the damned clothes......

BUT - I was thinkin'......I need some sort of "sign", a banner as it were for the new place.

What do y'all think about THIS one? I know, I know, I'm in Northern Illinois - but Tammi's World is a state of mind. So, my friends, is Paradise......

We Will Never Forget

(image courtesy of Vintage Glory Cards)

Have you noticed......

......I'm not takin' suggestions for the name on this new house?

Yeah, what do you expect after y'all saddled me with The Belfry the last time????

Heros

U.S. forces raided an al Qaeda hideout northeast of Baghdad on Sunday and freed 41 Iraqis imprisoned inside, including some who had been tortured and suffered broken bones, a senior U.S. military official said Sunday.

Now that's one HELL of a Memorial Day!

Did I mention.....

.....the closets in The Sweet House (aka Paradise) are all cedar?

Yeah. Cool huh?

Soldier's Angels

I was trying to catch up on my reading and came across an announcement over at Milblogs.com

I had no idea that there is going to be a book series published chronicling the history and mission of Soldier's Angels. The first - May No Soldier Go Unloved is available for presale now.

The book is written by Jeffry Bader, one of the founders of this incredible organization.

A portion of the proceeds will go towards the Welcome Packs for our deployed military troops.

It's perfect timing this Memorial Day weekend. A great chance to purchase a book that will not only tell the story of Soldier's Angels, but as you would expect, help our Troops in the process.

Memorial Day

It's Memorial Day Weekend. Time for family, grillin', beer and relaxing. But amongst all that - take the time to remember just what Memorial Day is all about.

Here you will find a website dedicated to U.S. Memorial Day along with a brief write up of Memorial Day History

Don't forget to take a few minutes and visit They Have Names.

Here is wonderful slide show reminding us what Memorial Day is all about.

And REMEMBER the families. The families of those who protect and serve, the families of those who pay the ultimate sacrifice.

The Millions Of "Unknown Soldiers"

And as a final reminder a video dedicated to Our Military Men and Women and their Families.

God Bless Our Troops, past, present and future, and their families.

A Repost of sorts....

HomefrontSix has this hysterical post about pets, children and well......the chain of life. (Links fixed - thanks HFS!)

It reminded me of a story I've told a hundred times and posted a couple of years ago. In honor of HFS, and since I have some new readers I thought I'd repost it again today.

Where's T-Bone?

The Cheesemistress serves as a muse again! This post spun off a memory that always puts a smile on my face.

Back in my first life I had a granddaughter. Three actually. Oh - I was only 27 but I was still Gamma. The oldest was a beauitful, smart as a whip little angel - Alyssa. What a trip she was.

Anyway, as I've mentioned before, we raised beef cattle. Just a small operation - enough for our families and some friends. And we started out small. Real small. We started out with 1. His name was T-Bone.

T-bone quickly became the family pet. Except for me. Having been around farm animals most of my life I knew better. But no one listened to me.

Ex would take Alyssa out and let her play with T-Bone. Ride him like a pony. Every time she came over that was the first thing she had to do. Go out and play with T-Bone.

Well, as was bound to happen the day finally came around that T-Bone went to the butcher. No one told Alyssa - I figured it was his responsibility. Lucikly for us she missed the loading and hauling of off old T-Bone. But she was there when he came home!

I had made, ironically enough, some t-bones on the grill for dinner that night. Made all the appropriate stuff to go with it,a celebration of sorts, but T-Bone was the guest of honor.

Ex had just brought in the steaks and Alyssa came running into the kitchen - Gamma! Gamma! Where's T-Bone? Where is he? I wanna ride!

Ex: Here Alyssa. Try this.

Alyssa: Ohh that's very good steak Papa. But where's T-Bone? I miss him.

Ex: Here, try another piece.

And on it went. I had to leave the room. I didn't know how I would explain to this sweet 4 year old why Gamma was laughing so hard.

He never did tell her what happened to T-Bone. My response was always - "Ask your Papa."

Cruel? Maybe - but damn that was some good meat. Let me tell you!

Changes

Yesterday was almost the happiest day of my adult life. I think I beat my own personal record by smiling for 14 hours straight.

Work went great. It was hard to say good bye. I didn't realize how much I loved working with a group of people, day in and day out. I will miss these folks. But the good news is, I'll still be over that way every now and then, so we'll get to stay in touch.

After work, I had some time to kill so I headed to the mall - just to walk around and watch the people. On my way, the phone rang. Folks - I got the house!!. I will be movin' into The Sweet House (AKA Paradise) during the month of June. I sign the lease this morning.

A home. That's what it is. A home where I can settle in. It's owned by the local church so it's not like it'll be sold out from underneath me any time soon. I can put down some roots. I can nest.

So, while not a perfect day, it was almost the best in my adult memory. Hell, in my memory overall.

Now comes the REAL work. I gotta pack up all these clothes and shoes! Holy Cow - there's some changes a comin'.......

.......again.

It's Not My Fault....

Now, when I see a post start out like this - ...Sexual orientation and gender affects navigation skills, with straight men best at map reading and heterosexual woman worst, according to a new story". - I'm feelin' a little vindicated.

Oh hell - head on over to Blonde Sagacity and read the whole thing.

Mean while, I'm taking this as complete justification for my new GPS system and the fact that I can't find my own way out of a paperbag.......

Curious

So tell me. Do you ever embarrass yourself? I mean, really. Have you ever done something that just makes you laugh out loud at yourself for a long while every time you think of it?

Yeah, me neither.......

and if you believe that, I got this bridge for sale......

Go Big or Stay Home

Wow. It's Friday.

A pretty big day in Tammi's World.

Let's see......I finish packing my desk and say my good-byes at my current job.

I should, so they say, hear if I get the Sweet House (aka Paradise)

And, well, there's just all sorts of things today.

So....you'll excuse me for the lack of posting. I'm just a little preoccupied.

One more time....

Well, there's only one more morning commute. Huh.

You know, the funny thing is the drive never bothered me. At all. Well, except for those times it took 3+ hours, but that's more than understandable. Seriously, the commute has never been an issue.

Until this week. This week, I've dreaded the drive both ways more than I can say. This week, gettin' me in that car in the morning has been like pulling teeth.

And the funny thing is I'lll be driving more than the normal person with the new job. But just not every morning, 6:30am. I know I'll be home before 7:00 in the evening. It's just.......different.

This morning, got a bit of an early start - dropped T1G off at the airport. So I actually got to the office around 6:45. Huh. Isn't that ironic? My next to last day on the job and I'm over an hour early. Hell - 2 hours earlier than I usually wander in. And if you only knew how flippin' funny it is that HE'S the reason I'm early. No one has EVER given me grief about bein' late for work like he has! He almost makes me feel guilty about it. Almost.....

So what am I doin' with my time since I'm so early? I'm blogging. :-) Hey! It's what I do in the mornin'. Ease up, will ya!!!

Actually, I'm running some prints off while I do this. Multi-tasking as it were.

But, it's the final laps. I've got all my stuff to pack up, papers to file, files to move. I know there is wood somewhere under all these stacks of files, pictures, books. My goal is to find it before I leave here today.

Actually, my goal is to make it through the morning meeting without drawing blood. This whole "Kamikaze" approach is kind of fun. I'm kickin' ass and takin' names. With no guilt. No fear. It's workin' out pretty well for me.

Yeah, one more time. I'll miss this place. These people. But oh......I'm pretty excited about the next chapter.

MilBlogs

So tell me, are you checking over at MilBlogs.com on a regular basis? If not, you really need to.

It's a great group of MilBloggers and they do a fantastic job of keeping us informed.

We've all been bitchin' and moaning about how the MSM is so busy tearing the troops and President Bush apart, they aren't reporting the real news. In fact, there was quite an uproar over a piece in the WaPo just this week. And just so you know - Arkin is an ASS. Period.

Soldier's Dad has a great smack down that you really should read. I think it rocks! He manages to get the MSM AND Congress all in one swipe! OutStanding!!!

Oh, and Greyhawk checks in from the sandbox. Drop him a note of thanks and support while you're over there!!

Tidbit

So I get an email from my new boss yesterday. Looks like we're going to push the trip to Columbus MO off a week.

I'm ok with that.

Next he asks if I have all the stuff for corporate done.

I didn't know I had any stuff for corporate to do. I then went on to tell him, I'll be where ever, when ever I'm told to be. BUT - if I had my preference I hear Hawaii is very nice this time of year.

The response I got back?

Smart ass.

Yeah - this is gonna be fun!!!!

Worth 1000 Words

Ok. That's IT!

I saw the headline this morning, before I left for work, that they found what could possibly be the body of one of the three missing Soldiers. Every loss breaks another bit of my heart, but the search for these three missing hero's has been kickin' my ass. Now THIS? Yeah, I have one thing to say about it all.

Let Our Soldiers Fight. Stop making them fight with one hand tied behind their backs. No More Micro Managing.

I don't know of anyone who can function successfully when having someone holding them back. Judging every thought, movement, motiviation. And they have a hell of a lot more to lose than we do.

You know the saying - I can't remember what movie - Kill 'em all. Let God sort 'em out.

We Are At War. There is an enemy knocking on our door. HELL - we've already invited the son of a bitch in for dinner. It's time to clean house. And these damned politicians that want to make a name for themselves at the cost of our Military can kiss my fat ass. You want out of Iraq? Then let them do what we sent them there for. Uninhibited. Let them kick some ass.

Ohhhh - this post was so much more electric as I was writing it in my mind during the drive. The more I think about this the angrier I become.

God bless those missing Soldiers and their families.

And please, Please, PLEASE - Washington? Hollywood? Shut the F*ck Up and let the experts do what they need to do.

I got it. Really. I do.

OMG! It just dawned on me! I know why my life has been so damned unsettled for the past couple of years.

As I was standing there, ironing my pants for today, I was chewin' over why it seems my life is such a damned wild ride. Looking back, I was tryin' to figure out where I went so very wrong.

That's when it hit me. Down in Orlando, when Mama Vi came to visit, we had us a nice long, Mother/Daughter talk out by the pool one night. I was sayin' how I didn't like how I had become such a control freak since my divorce. I missed that "free spirit" I had.

Mama Vi said she would pray that I would learn to "Let Go, Let God". Well, we all know the best way to learn a lesson. Live it. Over and over again, until it is a part of who we are.

Mama Vi! Please stop!!!! I get it! Really. I'll be good. I promise. No more analyzing things into dust. No more second guessing folks. Hell, I'll even stop with the "This is what I'm gonna need for you to do....". Ok - maybe not that. THAT'S goin' a bit far.

But seriously. I get it. I'll relax. I'll let go. But please, please stop praying that I learn this lesson. I'll be good. I promise.

**Note to self: this is as dangerous as prayin' for patience.

Mind Warp

I dropped off the application for the Sweet House last night. They say I'll know this week yet. At least the wait won't be for long. I've got so much on my mind right now, I don't think I have room for that worry.

I leave for Columbus MO on Tuesday. Don't know for how long, probably the week. I'm actually really glad. It's starting to get HOT here, and The Belfry is like a mini oven. It'll be nice to sleep in a cool motel room for a while.

Did I mention the Sweet House (aka Paradise) has central air? Yeah, nice.....

I've been really focused at work, getting projects wrapped up, straightening out issues. Someone made the mistake of sayin' "Oh, that's right. You're leaving. You don't care." I put that thought to bed immediately. Right Now I'm still being paid to care. I am a manager, and peoples paychecks depend on decisions I make. And I'm not going to screw anyone over.

But, that being said.....I hit the wall yesterday. Focus? Yeah, not so much. So tired. It was a long day. Today I'm setting a new program for a customer, so that should help. It's a very physical activity, hands on, so it'll get me out of my office and with a group of people. But damn - can't help thinking about next week already.

Did I mention it's really getting warm? Yeah, it is. It's only 6:00am and I already need another shower. Oh I hope it's good news about the house. And the best thing about that place? Yeah, it's not going on the market any time soon. What's that mean to me? I can stay put. For a long while. I can settle in. AND - it's cool there! With a backyard. And trees. And TWO kitchens.

You may have noticed I'm having some trouble keeping on track here. Yeah, welcome to the hell that is my mind this week.

If I could have just one thought. And be able to follow it all the way through, I would be happy. Ok, maybe not HAPPY, but at least I'd know I'm not crazy (er)!!!

I Love This Guy

Seriously, Og is one of my favorite people in life. He's got a heart of gold, and the most.......unique way of expressing himself. :-)

The best part about Og, is you know exactly where you stand with him. I REALLy like that in a person.

And I adore the fact that he loves his wife so much. It's posts like this one that just make me smile.

And giggle, but mostly smile.

Oh - and Og? Yeah, Dude, I think you're a little to hard on yourself. I'm sure your wife feels like SHE'S the one who got lucky!!!

Kinda Creepy

So when I was in NYC back in February, I worked Toy Fair. Met thousands of people, literally.

Well, seems I made an impression.

I've been getting emails from some dude on a weekly basis. He keeps thinking he's seen me again at different shows around the country.

Ummmm, no. I've been right here, thankyouverymuch.

Yeah, so I got another note today. This time I actually responded. (I haven't been) Told him I'm leaving the company as of Friday. Wished him luck.

But isn't it kinda creepy? I think so......I mean really.

Windin' Down

It's my last week of gettin' up at 5:00am.

I cannot begin to tell you how great that feels, knowing I can get back to a normal schedule (for me) after 2 years.

No more up and out. Now, I can wake naturally at 6:30am. Drink a little coffee. Take a shower. Maybe even have a little breakfast. Damn....this is gonna be nice.

AND - I don't have to be in bed by 10:00pm. I can stay up like a big girl. I can actually DO something in the evenings.

I'm really looking forward to this. I'll celebrate this weekend. Right now? I gots to get my ass in gear!!!

First Sight

Carmen has a picture up of Patrick. Check him out.

I'm not biased or anything, but I think he's the most beautiful baby boy I've seen in a long long time.........

Excellent. MOST Excellent

Ok this is very cool.

Badgers Forward announces a new book. A book that he and TD at Acute Politics are both contributors.

That is GREAT!!!

What makes that even better?

All proceeds benefit Fisher House.

Check it out!!!

I've already got my copy on order. Hurry Up!!! Get 'er done!!!!

Lunch Time Observations

1) If you are going to have a blow-job for lunch, please do not do so in the parking lot of my building. At least not until after this week. ESPECIALLY if you don't even work here. Yeah, that was lovely. NOT!

2) Tryin' to walk a mile in 3" heels was probably not a great idea. Oh, walking off tension is very good. Just not in 3" heels.

3) Where the HELL did all these geese come from? And who the hell is feeding them that there's so much shit everywhere.

Yeah.......it's a riveting day here in Tammi's World......

Damnit!!

I miss her!!!

I know she deserves a vacation. I'm thrilled she's getting to spend time with her family.

But damnit it - I miss talkin' to her. I miss our 4x daily phone calls. Can I tell you how long the damned drive to work is without her on the other end of the line?

And I got stuff goin' on! Things I need to tell her. Opinions I need to garner.

2 more weeks. Everything will be back to normal in two more weeks......

Just askin'.....

Have you ever been so scared of a situation, terrified of the result, that you are frozen?

I don't mean like if someone had a gun on you, or your life was in danger. I'm talking life overall.

What if something were so important to you, you were paralyzed with fear? You don't speak your mind. You can't be yourself. You're simply there.

Has that ever happened to you?

Smart Woman in a Short Skirt

btw - I just love that song!

You know that sayin' "You can't teach an old dog new tricks"? Yeah, well you can if you use enough force.

I've had to learn a few "new tricks" over the past few years. It's not been easy, and I'm still struggling with it, but learning I am.

You see, I'm not lovin' this whole Getting Older thing. Oh, it beats the hell out of the alternative, but overall, yeah, I wasn't done "playin'" as it were.

Living in Florida there are different rules. You act different, you dress different. Part of it is the weather. No one wears a lot of clothes (if they're sane anyway) when it's that hot and humid. AND when you are in your 30's, long and lean, well - you flaunt it. At least I did.

Short flirty skirts, crop tops, tight EVERYTHING. And it was acceptable. No one thought I was out of line or slutty (well, except for those couple of hooker mishaps). I fit right in.

Now, living in the midwest it's different. Women dress what they call "age appropriate". Ugh. I hate that. And I swore I would never give in.

Folks? You see that. Over there. Yeah, that would be my white flag. I give up. I can't do it anymore.

All of the skirts I have purchased lately come to my knees. My tops? Yep, not a piece of abdomen to be seen. Hell, I'm even getting rid of all but one of my bikini's. (one will work if I'm well hidden in my backyard) My pants are "flowing" and my necklines are appropriate.

WTF has happened to me?!?!?!?! Oh, I'm still drawn to the flashy. I still try them on. And you know what? Doesn't look too bad, if I may say so myself. I think some people would be rather surprised. But I don't buy. I just twirl around in front of the mirror and remember a time when that would have been my favorite outfit. I'd have worn it every where. And that time wasn't so very long ago.

But I realized something just a few days ago. You know, every once in a while I still turn a head. It's not so much the clothes, but the stride. It's not the age, but attitude. And I still have both of those. I'm not on the shelf yet.

But damn, I sure do miss those short skirts..........

Failure

Earlier this week HomefrontSix had a great post up asking about Failure. How to define it, how to keep it from defining you. It's a very thought provoking post, please click on over and read it. (you'll need to scroll down, since I can't find the permalink) Then, as usual, I have something to say.

Failure. Shit. I sometimes feel like I wrote the book on that.

Let's see.....I dropped out of college. Doesn't matter WHY, I just did. Strike One. Hmmmmm I got married-----------and divorced. Doesn't matter WHY I got divorced, I just did. Strike Two. I've bounced around all over this country, in and out of jobs, houses, towns. Wanderlust? No, not really. Just looking for......I don't know what. I just hope I'll know it when I find it.

If you look at my life in the way so much of society does, I'm nothing. I have nothing. I've accomplished nothing.

Let's look at the definition of failure I found on Dictionary.com (emphasis mine)

fail·ure –noun
1. an act or instance of failing or proving unsuccessful; lack of success: His effort ended in failure. The campaign was a failure.
2. nonperformance of something due, required, or expected: a failure to do what one has promised; a failure to appear.
3. a subnormal quantity or quality; an insufficiency: the failure of crops.
4. deterioration or decay, esp. of vigor, strength, etc.: The failure of her health made retirement necessary.
5. a condition of being bankrupt by reason of insolvency.
6. a becoming insolvent or bankrupt: the failure of a bank.
7. a person or thing that proves unsuccessful: He is a failure in his career. The cake is a failure.

Hmmm.....yeah, that hurts.

BUT....explain to me. Why I don't FEEL like a failure? Why I don't THINK of myself in that light? Am I blowin' smoke up my own ass, or am I simply delusional? I don't think I'm either. I think I'm on a journey, and as I do so often, I took some wrong turns. It happens. To all of us. If we take chances. If we push the envelope.

If I never failed at ANYTHING, I would be a pretty pathetic person. I'd have no understanding of the difficult things in life. I would have no way of connecting with anyone in pain, or sitting in the dark. I know what it's like to bottom out. I know what it's like to not be able to face people because of embarrassment. But - I also know what it's like to fight back. I know what it's like to work three jobs to pay the flippin' rent. I know what it's like to eat rice for a month, because there is no grocery money. I know what it's like to NOT have a roof over my head. I understand loss. Of people, things and situations.

But I decided a few years ago, that I wouldn't let my journey in life define me. I would define the journey of my life. It's the end results, and the HEART you put into getting those results that we should be judged on.

I could be considered a failure as a parent. My step-kids, the center of my life for 11 years, hate me. HATE. They tell their children, my grandchildren, that I am dead. Nice. But you know what? They don't stay out drunk all night. They have nice homes. They have manners. They don't beat their wives or their children. I did that. I taught them a different kind of life. Gave them higher standards. I'd say, even though I miss them, that "project" (as it were) was a HUGE success.

Failure is just a word. An ugly word, but a word none the less. If you have done the best you can, if you have tried to make decent decisions, if you KNOW in your HEART that you have NEVER tried to hurt someone, then you are NOT a failure. The situation is NOT failed.

So I guess my take on HomefrontSix's post is simple. You look inside. You are completely honest WITH YOURSELF. If you did your best at the time, with what you had to work with, it is not a failure. If, by chance, you can't do that....then, what I do is rip off the bandage. Say your heartfelt apologies, do what you can to rectify and then MOVE ON. You do not dwell, you do not wallow. Because, you see, you can't go back. What's done is done. Good, bad or indifferent. It's done.

And remember - this is important - you cannot hold yourself responsible for other peoples expectaions. THAT is not within your control. So if someone feels you've failed them, no matter what the situation, it goes back to the question - did you do the best you could at the time, with what you had to work with? If so......then you have nothing to feel guilty about. And if you can't say that honestly.......then it goes to doing what you can to rectify and apologize, and moving on.

Life is not perfect. WE are not perfect. It's what we do with that imperfection that matters.

Movie Answers

Well, I was going to wait until Monday to post the answers but y'all already tagged most of them, so I'll just get it out of the way today.....

The answers will be in bold:

1) Secretary/lies/big hair "Play nice with the other kids" Working Girl

2) Red/different/evil "Second date, no tongue!" Hellboy

3) Battle/betrayal/king " Only a fool wants what he can not have" First Knight

4) Attack/destruction/love "Up Yours" Independence Day

5) Reporter/child/New York "Marriage is hard enough without bringing such low expectations into it." Sleepless in Seattle

6) Sex/bathtub/piano " I appreciate this whole seduction thing you've got going on here, but let me give you a tip: I'm a sure thing. " Pretty Woman

7) Strike/Sumo/Houseboat "Is lap dancing a style? " The Replacements

8) Hanging/Revenge/Battle "God tells me he can get me out of this mess, but he's pretty sure your f*cked" Braveheart

9) Mall/shot gun/blood "How about I put my foot up your ass, will that be your problem? " Dawn of the Dead

10) Push-ups/gas/gadgets " Didn't you get the memo?" Batman Begins

Thanks y'all! That ended up bein' kinda fun!!!!

Good Thoughts

The first time I drove into THE Valley from the west (and I know it was FROM the west because I was driving TOWARDS Chicago) anyway...the first time I drove into town from that direction I saw this house. It's on a corner, right off of the highway. It has a beautiful yard, soft green grass, trees. Heck, it's even got a stone BBQ built in the backyard. And yes, I paid that much attention. I said it caught my eye.

Anyway, I remember thinking how sweet it looked. And every once in a while, over the past couple of years, I would see it up for rent. Never when I could do anything, but I always noticed.

This morning I got a call from my landlady.

LL: Tammi? I can't believe I'm doing this, I don't want to do this, but you should know there's a house down the street from the church that is up for rent.

Tammi: laughing Really? Thank you Sweetie. I'll check it out.

Holy Cow. It's THE house. So I took down the number and made a phone call. Then, I went to see it this afternoon.

Sweet is the perfect word to describe it. Folks - it has 2 kitchens. One upstairs - very nice. And the other? Down just off of the family room (that has Football Sunday written all over it). TWO! TWO WORKING KITCHENS!!!

It's got a lovely dinning room that over looks that really great backyard.

The living room is HUGE. Especially when you consider what I've gotten used to in the past few years.

It's a great house. Perfect for me. Especially working from home. Not too much to keep up and enough room that I won't feel closed it. And did I mention the central air? Yeah, and attached garage! That Lana will actually fit in!!!

But most of all it has such a good feel to it.

I love it. It exceeded my expectations.

I'm dropping the application off on Monday after work.

Can I ask a favor please? I'd love to have this house. The cost is even less than I was planning on, and it's got everything (including a bathroom downstairs) that I want in a house. Well, except no dishwasher, but I'm learning to deal with that.

Can you keep your fingers crossed for me? Please?

Oh - and so you know how much I love this place - I had to sign an agreement that there would be no smoking inside. At all. I didn't even blink an eye. Done.

It's worth it.

For Patrick

An Irish Baby Blessing:

Welcome to the family Little Man. Your Aunt Tammi Loves You.......

Movie Meme

So I didn't escape the latest Meme making the circuits. Heck - I got tagged 2x! Once by Richmond and once by SarahK.

Ok, Ok, I get the hint.... But you really have no idea what you are asking. Folks, I don't pay attention to those kinds of details in movies. I just watch them. And memorize the lines I really like. Yep - I steal the lines.

So - here are the "original rules":

Pick out ten favorite movies, then look them up at IMDb. In the overview at the top of each movie's page, there are "Plot Keywords," usually five of them. (Plus more, if you click the link.) Take the first five, and post them. Then the rest of us get to play movie buff and see if we can guess them.

Yeah, right. So.....here's what I'm gonna do. Like Christina, I'll change the rules a bit. I'll do some details from the movies, and a line. This should be easy - I'm not THAT good.

1) Secretary/lies/big hair "Play nice with the other kids"

2) Red/different/evil "Second date, no tongue!"

3) Battle/betrayal/king " Only a fool wants what he can not have"

4) Attack/destruction/love "Up Yours"

5) Reporter/child/New York "Marriage is hard enough without bringing such low expectations into it."

6) Sex/bathtub/piano " I appreciate this whole seduction thing you've got going on here, but let me give you a tip: I'm a sure thing. "

7) Strike/Sumo/Houseboat "Is lap dancing a style? "

8) Hanging/Revenge/Battle "God tells me he can get me out of this mess, but he's pretty sure your f*cked"

9) Mall/shot gun/blood "How about I put my foot up your ass, will that be your problem? "

10) Push-ups/gas/gadgets " Didn't you get the memo?"

Ok - that's all I got at the ready. Put your answers in the comments and I'll post the correct ones Monday.

Oh, and I'm not tagging anyone. I'm late to the party so I'll just say - ENJOY!

Ties that never get broken...

So, I start a new job on May 29th. Huh. I'll be working from home, out in "the field" again. I'm really pretty alright with that.

The highlight there is I'll have what FEELS like a life again. Dinner before 8:00 at night. And while I'll be a Road Warrior again, I won't be putting as many miles on Lana as I do now. So that's a good thing.

But here's the funniest part of this whole new job situation. When we were in discussion it was brought up that, in time, I might take a job in the Corporate office. Who knows. It might happen.

AND - I'll need to visit Corporate a time or two during the year. Meetings, training and such.

Did I mention that Corporate is in Tampa? As in Tampa Florida. Yeah, I swear - when I lived down there, every job I had I ended up spending a lot of time in Chicago. Now? Yeah, everything takes me back to Tampa.

I just think it's funny as hell. There's like this line strung between the two cities. And I'm hooked on in the middle. Tampa. Chicago. Tampa. Chicago. I feel like a damned yoyo.

It really is a cool situation. I love both cities. And it is really nice to know I'll be able to spend time in both locations without shellin' out all that dough for a "vacation retreat".

But seriously, do you see the irony here?

Wild Woman

Ok, I've been told I'm not really a morning person. Hmmm, I'd have to disagree with that..

I love the mornings. It's my favorite time of day. So quiet, birds singin', watching the day unfold....yeah, I love the mornings.

Now, that being said, I do need to clarify something. I may be up and about in the morning, but that doesn't mean I'm coherent. Not by any stretch of the imagination. Oh, I'm not mean and nasty. Not at all. It's a new day, what is there to be shitty about? I just can't form comprehensive sentences well before, oh say, that 3rd cup of coffee. And I swear there is a law on the books in Indiana that I'm not allowed to operate a motor vehicle before the 6th cup. Really. There's some interesting stories there - trust me.

I like to take my mornings slow and easy. I slip around the internet while sippin' that first cup of coffee, seein' what happened in the world since I checked out. By the 3rd cup I've decided what I'm wearing and start the whole "time to make the donuts" routine.

It really throws my whole day off if I have to rush. I make mistakes, like unmatched shoes or I've even forgot a bra a time or two. Yeah, I need to take my damned time.

This morning is a perfect example. Last night, got home from work took a shower and washed my hair. Now, I abuse the hell outta these locks of mine, so I try to give them a break whenever possible. Last night I let them dry natural. Got up this morning to curly curly curly. And damn - I forget how thick my hair really is.

Anyway - I'm feelin' kinda lazy so I decide to just put 'em up in hot curlers to tame everything down. Easy Smeasy. Yeah. Should be. Mistake #1 - I did this on my first cup of coffee.

Folks - I just took my hair down. Half the curlers were put in one way, half were done the other. Now - I can twirl my hair around a pencil and it'll stay curled like that all day. I look like some kind of wild woman with curls goin' every which way right now.

Really - it's not a good look.

So you'd think I'd know better. I've been doin' this whole "Tammi in the morning" thing for a lot of years. I know my limitations.

This? Today? Yeah, my hair is now a conversation piece. And I don't mean that in a good way.

At least it's Friday. Well, that an I have a sense of humor........

Baby News

I got to talk with Cuz and Carmen briefly last evening. Piddy, ok Patrick is doing very well. Yes, he is ittle biddy (4lbs 14ozs) but he's solid. He's eatin' and sleepin' and from what I understand he'll be comin' home with his Mama when she gets released.

I did get some pictures, but since they include family (and I don't want to get my ass kicked at this point) I cannot post them. But ohhhhh is he a little doll baby.

I really thought he'd have a shock of red hair. Nope. So blond it's white. And this sweet round little face. He actually looks a LOT like his Daddy.

Carmen is doing fine. She wants a cigarette (she is MY niece afterall) and has all those aches and pains that goes with birthin' babies, but she's just fine.

I said I'd have to get a ticket down there quick, but in all actuality I don't know when I'll get to meet this little man. I will be in Tampa next month for my new job, but I don't know if I'll make it up her way or not.

While talkin' to Cuz last night it really kicked me. I wasn't there when he was born. I was a part of everything when Junior made his entrance, but I've missed so much of, well, everything lately. I missed helping to shop for the wedding. I missed the shower. I missed so much of the pregnancy - although I did make it down there a couple of times since October. And now, this. I hate that. Really. I do.

I've decided I'm going to need a jet for just such occasions. With a pilot - cause trust me, the idea of me in control of something hurtling through the skyways should scare the hell out of ANYone. But wouldn't that be nice? I'd never miss ANY occasion again.

Anyway - sorry. Got a bit distracted. I wanted to let you all know, Carmen and Piddy are doing just fine. Daddy has already been changin' diapers and all manner of good stuff. It's all just as it should be.

Even if it did all happen a month sooner than expected.

He's Here! He's Here!

The little shit is early. Hmmmm.....I'm thinkin' Mama and Daddy may have their hands full.

Oh, wait. I guess I should let you in on the details.

Carmen Had The Baby!!!

This is the email I got.

Patrick Denton (I'm not tellin' the last name) arrived at 8:13 AM this morning. He weighed in at 4 lbs 14 ounces and 17 ¼ inches long. The Grand Mother’s agree he is the most beautiful baby in the nursery and is in excellent health.

Carmen’s Mom

Holy Cow!!! I gotta get me a ticket to Florida QUICK! I got a baby to welcome to the family!!

Hmmm....I think I'll call him Piddy. (PD, get it!!) Yeah, that'll bug the hell outta Carmen.

Sometimes I Forget

I don't know why, but sometimes I'm just floored when I find out the impression that I give off. For some unknown reason I just think everyone can read my mind, know my motivation or understands my "history".

So when I am "misunderstood" I can actually get my little feelings hurt. And heaven forbid you think I've fibbed. Then? I get down right pissed off.

For years I was just Tammi. All the time, every where. I had no secrets, what I thought was there for all to see. My life was like a pot of beef stew. All mixed up together. Personal, professional, present, past. Everyone knew everything and everyone.

But I stopped that. I had to.

I hated the look of pity on peoples face when they'd see me with a black eye, or hobblin' because of another "fall" down the basement stairs.

I was limited on what jobs I could take - leading to what kind of money I could earn to take care of my family, because people knew my husband's family. They didn't want trouble. And trust me - it was up to me to earn the money. It was a lot of pressure for a 22 year old.

After my divorce - well, for those first few years anyway - I was just drunk all the time. Hell, you think I talk normally, you should hear me if I loaded. Yeah, kind of hard to have people respect you if they heard some of those stories.

So I stopped. I don't party with those I work with. I open up, but not very much. Just enough to be a "real person".

And I became driven. I've mentioned several times about the last words that MFer said to me. "You're ugly, fat and stupid. You'll never amount to anything or have anything. You will die alone." Now, I'm fully aware that those are the words of a drunken bastard and that I shouldn't care. And I don't. But I still hear them. In my head. A lot. They push me sometimes when I'm too tired to go on. Cause you need to know......Stupid? Never amount to anything? F*ck that.

And I have this fear. This fear of not being able to take care of myself. I'm not "handy". Not by any stretch of the imagination. I'm not a good gardener, so a garden is not something I want to have to depend on to feed myself. I don't sew. So I can't make my own clothes. I talk. It's what I do. And I have a pretty damned good mind for business. And I love to teach. I love to show someone how to make their lives better/easier/more enjoyable.

Add in the fact that I love to help. I want to do more for Soldier's Angels, Valour IT, Domestic Abuse Council.

The list goes on and on. For that? I need money. I need time. In my career, you get time and money by climbing that corporate ladder.

And honestly? I'm so damned shy and insecure that it's almost crippling. If you knew the self doubt I deal with. The times it just about kills me to go into a social situation. I hate them. I hate my reaction to them. But it is what it is, so I fake my way through.

But I guess I'm a pretty good faker. Because folks either don't guess, or forget. And then I'm surprised. I forget......you can't read my mind.

Poor Guy

I'm not a big "Royals Watcher". Don't really care who they are dating, what they wear, or who's screwin' who.

BUT - I did kind of keep an eye on the whole Prince Harry going to Iraq thing.

My first thought when I saw that was - ohhh shit. That boy's gonna have a bit red "Insurgent" target on his back. That's a gutsy move on his part and the British Army.

Well, seems I was right. They decided not to allow him to lead his unit into Iraq.

From what I read, there were specific threats made against him.

And I can understand how those who have lost loved ones are angry. And those who have loved ones in harms way are kinda pissed too. All though one mother does say she wouldn't want her son anywhere NEAR the Prince over there, just because he'd be a target.

But mostly I feel bad for Harry. Really. Think about it. He's the 2nd son in a place and situation where that really puts a damper on what you can do. So his chosen career right now is being an officer in the British Army. And he can't do it because of the danger? I'm willing to bet that he's a) pretty damned embarrassed. b) if he's anything like Raging Mom's son or some of the other folks I've had the pleasure to meet - he's pissed as hell. He's trained with that unit. He's their leader.

But wow. Wouldn't that kinda suck? I mean, to have to live in a damned glass cage, every time you fart it makes international news. To know that you're pretty much recognized, and judged where ever you go. Then, to finally start to make a life for yourself, and because your FAMILY has SYMBOLIC meaning, you are denied that opportunity.

Anyway - I just thought the whole thing kind of interesting. And I could be way off on my interpretation of what the Prince thinks. Maybe he's just another selfish rich kid who has no feelings of loyalty or country.

What do you think?

Note to self #1082

When, after a really good meal at the Japanese steak house, you want something to just "finish" it - do NOT order regular coffee.

WTF was I thinkin?????

And of COURSE I volunteered to attend the early morning meeting tomorrow.

It's gonna be a long, LONG night. And I don't mean that in a good way.

Help A Brother Out

I cannot believe I'm actually posting this.....

HOWEVER - T1G has an interview comin' up out in Cali-land. He's ready for the inteview itself, but asking if anyone can help him with questions HE can ask THEM.

I threw a couple up in his comments and figured y'all might have a few suggestions for him.

I have a rule with these sorts of things. You need to make sure you understand the way the person you will be working for thinks. Are the skeptical? Paranoid? Negative? Yeah - run. Run away now.

If they have an open personality, believes in the power of the individual and believes in allowing a person to do they job they were hired for? Yeah, I'm gonna want to hear more.

When ever you're prepping for this type of thing, remember.......THEY need YOU. YOU need to be happy or you won't produce. It's that simple. Trust your gut. Listen to what they say and how they say it. That will produce questions right off the bat.

Anyway - help a brother out. Put your thinkin' cap on and drop him a few suggestions.

Somebody Catch Me!!!

I have a lot of pride. A LOT of pride. To my detriment.

Now, I'm not talkin' the whole "I'm so great, kiss my feet" kind of pride. I'm talking the "I'm doin' my very best" or "I'll do it myself" kind.

So in typical Tammi fashion I'm just killing myself.

I've now got 8 working days left in Craft Land. As I've stated more than a few times, I'm fighting some pretty big, tough battles in this time frame. And getting things done with my current employer is not a quick thing. Not. At. All. They've been in business for over 50 years and we've done things a certain way for that long. Why change now?

AND....add in you have some folks that just can't accept responsibility for problems. You've got a recipe for a bit of a conflict. Especially when I'm on a mission.

Now, in all honesty, I don't really care (especially at this juncture) who did what wrong. Seriously. Just fix it. Analyze it later for cryin' out loud. Yeah, can't seem to get that point across so well right now. Head? Meet brick wall.

So my days are made up of uncomfortable phone calls and meetings that usually end up with me saying, at least once, "THIS is what I'm gonna need for you to do....."

Now, I know when I leave I'm open game for at least 8-10 months. Intellectually I fully realize that. HOWEVER, and this is where the pride comes in, I do NOT want to give anyone any grounds to say anything bad. I want to leave things nice and clean and wrapped up in a pretty pink bow. THAT....will probably not happen.

I do this every time I leave a position. Hell, I did this in my divorce. I was NOT going to give anyone any room to say I "took my husband to the cleaners". So.....I actually paid him off. Yes, I paid my ex-husband a lot of money to just go away and shut up. I tied everything up in that pretty pink bow and they STILL said I took him to the cleaners. They STILL called me a whore and worse.

You'd think I'd have learned my lesson by now.

Yeah, right.

So I spend my day tryin' to clear things up, reorganize files, put out fires and say good bye. I spend my drives trying to plan for the new job - office set up, equipment needs, timing. Planning out the entire month of June. My nights? I'm fighting my personal demons. Shit - I'm flippin' exhausted. And I've got a week and a half left of this schedule.

Now, don't take this post as complaining. I'm not really. I made this choice, and I stand by the belief that it's a good choice for Tammi. It's just....damn! I wish I didn't care so much.

I'm the living example of "Pride cometh before a fall". Only in my case, you can take that literally.

The Sweetest Thing I Heard....

This weekend as I was hugging my oldest neice goodbye, I just stood there. With my arms around her, relishing the fact that she still lets me do that.

As we finally split apart I thanked her. (You know, they reach "that age" and hugging just doesn't fly anymore)

She smiled and said: "I kinda like it. I feel safe. And you always smell the same. A little smoke, a little coffee and Moonlight Path. It's what I think of when I think of you."

I'm gonna need to work on that smoke part........

Don't Ask.

I don't ask a lot of questions. Not during a conversation. My feeling is if you want to tell me, you want to talk about it - you will. I hate putting people in a difficult situation. I've been there, and it sucks. So....well, you know the sayin'. "Do unto others..." and all.

Anyway - I got this email the other day from a friend. I'm adding this to the list of reasons I just don't ask questions.

WHY YOU NEVER QUESTION A DRUNK:

I was shopping at the local supermarket where I selected:
A half-gallon of 2% milk,
A carton of eggs,
A quart of orange juice,
A head of romaine lettuce,
A 2 lb. Can of coffee, and
A 1 lb. Package of bacon.

As I was unloading my items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk
standing behind me watched as I placed the items in front of the cashier.

While the cashier was ringing up the purchases, the drunk calmly stated,
"You must be single."

I was a bit startled by this proclamation, but I was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since I was indeed single. I looked at the six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about my selections that could have tipped off the drunk to my marital status.

Curiosity getting the better of me, I said: "Well, you know what, you're absolutely right. But how on earth did you know that?"

The drunk replied, "Cause you're ugly."

Because, you know, it would be just my luck........

But it's really goood.....

How can it be that if I drink beer I can't sleep but if I drink some yummy stuff with vodka, tequila, ginsing and "a BLAST of CAFFINE" I sleep like a baby with no hangover?

Why is that?!!? Cause as soon as I figure that out, I may just have solved the worlds problems.

But, this yummy stuff I just mentioned. Oh, yeah - it's REALLY good. Let me introduce you to my new favorite alcohol.

It's really good folks. And being the helpful marketing guys they are - the distributors even offer recipes! Personally? I like it just on the rocks.

But doesn't it just figure? I'd find something I like just as much as my Capt'n, and it's a damned energy drink.

I'm doomed to never have any fun - I'm just figurin' that first time was a fluke. Damned insomnia anyway........

Good Luck Oddy!!

Today is a pretty big day for my friend Oddy!!

Good Luck Darlin'!!! We're rootin' for you!!!

More MilBlog/OPSEC Info

Headline found this morning:

Military Bans YouTube, MySpace, and Other Sites

Intereseting reading. Not many surprises, but still, interesting reading......

Guess What!

This post has so many ties to The Godfather movies it's not funny.

Let me just say this. About a week or so ago, I got an offer I couldn't refuse.

Seriously.

This morning? I resigned my current position. I will be "Going to the Mattresses". Yep. That's right, I'm back in bedding as of Memorial Day weekend.

This was not an easy decision. I really love what I'm doing right now.

But the new job? Much more money. Over night travel? After the initial few weeks.....little to none. I'll be working out of my home, and they feel that THE Valley is the perfect spot for the region I will be in charge of. Yes, I meant to say "In Charge".

So.......here we go again. But it's a good thing. It's an unexpected blessing that fell in my lap.

But WOW.

What a crazy ride!!!!

Think About This

While you are listening to this song, I want for you to read something. It's a poem that my 16 year old niece wrote for her English project.

What are we DOING to our children? What kind of example are we offering?

Now, before the next time you open your mouth in anger to argue or malign, think about who could be listening.

I'll say it one more time....Don't F*ck with the babies. They deserve our very best.

And just so you know....reading this breaks my heart. I would have given ANYTHING to have protected them.

A Mother's Day Poem

SpouseBuzz II

I'm very late posting this - but Spouse Buzz II is going on in San Diego right now.

It's being live streamed HERE

Live bloggin and Questions HERE.

Above the Law

I think there is some kind of conspiracy going on.

Seriously.

This morning my main goal was to get to the DMV and get my Illinois license. Should be simple enough. I've got a Florida license. I've got a social security card. I've got proof of insurance.

Easy Smeasy.

Yeah, every where but in Tammi's World.

I had an important call I had to wait on this morning, so I was cutting it pretty close. I head off to the DMV and as I'm handing over all the paperwork I get this blank stare.

Tammi: Is there something wrong?

DMV Girl: I can't read your proof of insurance.

Tammi: Yeah, the printer was kinda bad. BUT, you can see the policy number, the dates and my name. Doesn't that cover it?

DMV Girl: But I can't read your proof of insurance.

Tammi:

It's not worth it. I pick my battles and this was not one that was worth the effort. I'm still a legal driver so I just left and will go back NEXT Saturday morning with everything printed nice and CLEAR.

But seriously, what does a girl have to do to be legal in this state?!?!?!?! I'm trying to play nice.

Because....

Mother's Day weekend is probably one of the toughest weekends of the year for me. And, to be honest, I feel rather selfish because of that. I seem to wallow this time of year, and that's just not acceptable.

So, this year I did something a little different. I thought I'd do something to cheer myself up.

When I ordered Mama Vi her Bucket-o-Tulips I ordered some for myself as well. They make you put a card, as it has to be delivered. I simply said "Because I deserve it".

And because I'm all about the sharing......

Happy Mother's Day Weekend. Make sure the Mothers in your life know how much they are loved and appreciated.

She's Comin' Home

I just got a call that Carmen is being let go today. She'll be home and pampered, as is right at this stage of the game.

Thank y'all for your prayers and comments. As always - ya'll are the best!!!

OH, and on that note - the reason I haven't put up the on-line babyshower is because it dawned on me. If I do that, her last name and location is there. On the internet for all to see. Yeah, not such a good idea at this point. So...while I appreciate everyone that was planning on playing along, I'm just thinkin' I didn't plan that one out right. But thank you anyway!!!!

Huh

Well, I'm not sure what to say about THIS piece of news.

I'm thinkin' the guys ain't gonna be so happy with this study. For the main reason that while DEMAND will still be on the rise, supply will be dryin' up!

(hehehe. You have to read the article to know why I think that's the funniest thing I've said in a month of Sundays. Of course, I'm a little fuzzy this morning, but still - that's funny.)

The Sky Is Falling! The Sky Is Falling!!

Can't you just hear that little chicken runnin' all over hell screamin' that? I can. Especially when I read headline leads like this:

Now let me tell you a little something about consumer products, if I may. We measure everything based on last year. And if possible we try to measure apples to apples - or in other words, same store sales. If a store has been open for a full 12 months (at least) it's kind of obvious that you can go back and look at how things were then and compare them to now.

Being an analyst, I've done more than my fair share of sales trends. I look at over all sales in that store, one year to the next. Than I look at CATEGORY sales in that store. For instance with Tropicana. How did juice measure up? Then break it down even more. How did juice with pulp do? Without? You see what I'm sayin'......

Anyway - there's a couple of factors that have to be added in, and when ever trends are announced by the MSM I know damned well, they ain't looking.

If I had a store that dropped in sales the first thing I did was look to see if they had a competitor open near by. If it's Wal-Mart, is there a new Target within 15 miles? How about road construction? Is it still easy access? How about NEW construction? Did they open another Wal-Mart within 60 miles? (They used to say a person will travel up to 60 miles to go to a supercenter. The goal was to try and keep them spaced out so that each store stood on it's own.) Look at what is going on in the area.

Same thing should happen if sales are up. Don't just sit back and giggle cause numbers look good. Figure out WHY.

So when I see the headline I saw today, I'm not panicked. In fact I'm kind of pissed. Consumer's see that and think "Crap. Recession!" and stop shopping. Folks - I'm in consumer product sales. You stop shopping? I stop eating. And I've gotten rather fond of eating, let me tell you.

Anyway - I'm just trying to say, numbers rise and numbers fall. This isn't usually a strong month for certain items. It's the beginning of summer, school will be out. People are going on vacation. Yes, it's alarming to see that most everywhere the numbers dipped compared to last year, but what was going on last year that the numbers were so high?

Add the landscape of retail is changing. More and more people are shopping on-line. Is that figured in?

See, I'd like to see the actual report. And I will. It'll be on line and, being the geek that I am, I'll print it out and look it over. I want to see WHERE the numbers came from. What exceptions they looked at. Did they calculate ALL sales? I got me some questions.

Arrgghhh! I know we bitch and bitch about the MSM screaming the bad news from the roof tops and the good news gets buried. And on this blog, I also realize I'm preaching to the choir. But really.....

And my biggest fear is by the time this is no longer a "lead story" people will be firmly entrenched in the negative and it will all become a self fulfilling prophesy.

Drive with Care

You know, lately I've just been reminded of a few things. Thoughts I've had over my years as a Road Warrior. In the last while, some of those thoughts have been slammed back home.

Let me share:

1) I'm a firm believer at this point that turn signals are optional on most vehicles. Seriously. I'm not gonna freak out if you don't use it when you change lanes every time - even I forget that every once in a while. What kills me are those that are turning left and never turn the damn thing on.

1a) On a side note of that very topic - left turns. Please, for the sake of all that is sacred, do NOT wait to turn the signal on indicating a left turn until you are in the PROCESS of making the turn. A little warning would be nice. Really. I'm thinking that may be part of why they put the damned things in our vehicles in the first place. For cryin' out loud.....

2) Just because you are driving a BMW doesn't mean I won't hit you if you are sitting in the middle of the road because you are trying to FORCE your way into traffic. Oh, I don't WANT to hit you, but I will. Oh yes I will. And that goes for those Mercedes, Lexus and Fords out there too. I'm an equal opportunity hitter if it comes down to it.

3) I talk on the cell phone. All. The. Time. I've got two words for you. HANDS. FREE. Honestly, it works great. You hear them, they hear you and you've got BOTH hands available for drivin', drinkin' and smokin'. Really helps if you are trying to multi task.

4) Speaking of multi-tasking.....Ladies. Please. Do NOT try and use your eyelash curler in the car. I don't care if it's a red light. Red lights usually turn green at some point. And that means you need to kinda focus on where you're goin' and what's goin' on AROUND you. Get up a few minutes earlier and do that shit at home. Or do it when you get to the office. I promise you, I know from experience, your performance review will not be diminished if you haven't curled your eyelashes on a regular basis. Well, unless you're a stripper, but that goes to the whole "Sleezy Hierarchy" and I just don't have time for that today. (plus I can't find the link to it, but trust me, there is one)

Ok - I don't know about you, but I feel a little better now, gettin' that off my chest. Oh, and don't think that's all of 'em. Not by a long shot. But I'm starting to realize I'm soundin' a little "testy" lately, so I'll go easy on you.

As long as I don't see you tryin' to turn left without your signal on, talkin' on the phone and curlin' your eyelashes. Yeah, don't do that and we'll get along just fine......

Those Three little Words

Normally, that phrase makes a person smile. EVERYONE loves to hear "those three little words". It's kind of a warm fuzzy thing.

Yeah, except when those words are "Check Engine Soon".

Damnit. It's like being in the middle of a big battle and you're damned beeper goin' off with a 911 code.

However, I will be calling the local mechanic today, taking my laptop home with me - just in case - and praying to the Good Lord Above Lana makes it home.

I gotta think it's nothing serious. Honestly, she's had no issues at all. But one can never be too careful. And I do, afterall, need my car for EVERYTHING.

Oh Lordy - this is just really bad timing..........

No! It's Not Time Yet!!!

I'm here on the phone with Cuz. Scary news.

Carmen is in the hospital. Seems she went into labor. About 5-8 weeks early. She's been put on complete bedrest. Pumped up on steroids. And not a very happy camper.

I can only imagine.

She'll be in the hospital until Friday (at least) and when she gets home it's Complete Bed Rest.

Please keep her and the baby in your prayers. Oh, and her DH too. To say that man is walkin' on broken glass would not even begin to describe things.

Big Battles are Kickin' My Ass

Gotta be honest. This is one tough week at work. I've got a bunch of really REALLY tight deadlines, which cannot be moved or missed.

And I don't like to miss deadlines. I take that stuff pretty damned seriously.

So, I've been kind of....tense. Yeah, that's the word. Tense.

It all started Monday. Well, I guess that was a stupid thing to say. Of COURSE the week started on Monday. Shesh. Anyway - Monday was rough. Still flyin' from the weekend, it was pretty tough to focus. But I made my To Do List and started working through it.

Now, during the course of a normal work week I've got some Big Battles to fight and lots of what I call Piddly Things to deal with. The Piddly Things balance out the Big Battles. Right now? Yeah, all Battles. All Day. Every Day.

And the strain is starting to show. Because, again I need to point out, I don't miss deadlines.

So yesterday I had what could be called a meltdown. Four meltdowns actually. My neck is so tight right now I can barely move my head. I won two of the four, and the other two are going in my favor.

I lost track of how many times I had to say "This is what I'm gonna need for you to do....". That's never really a good sign.

I get home for work so tired I fall asleep, still in my work clothes, curled up on the damned love seat. THAT'S real good for that neck thing I was talkin' about.

I haven't done a damned thing after work but fall asleep in the living room and eventually move into my bedplace. Dinner? Are you kidding? Yeah, that's why I have snack bars. And to be honest, even talking can be an issue. Yesterday I seem to have forgotten how to speak English. Really. Oh, I could still swear, but normal cognitive sentences? Yeah, not so good with those.

Looking forward - Sunday is Mother's Day. Holy Crap. I had forgotten and actually made plans for the weekend. Those are now cancelled and flowers have been ordered. Hell, I even ordered some for myself. They're on sale, and normally Mother's Day is a pretty bad day for me, so I figured I'd try something different this year. Sunday I'll head to Mama Vi's for the afternoon.

And the next two weeks are not lookin' any different. Well, with the exception of that whole MD thing. But you know what I mean. M - F will be balls to the walls. Every day, all day.

So what exactly am I getting at? Nothing more than.....I'm flippin' exhausted. If I owe you an email, I swear I'll get you this weekend. If I owe you a phone call? Thank you for calling, we'll catch up soon, I promise. As for everything else.....Soon.

Must Sees....

First - please click over to MilBlogs and see the video that Stacy Lee put together from the MilBlog Conferenc. BTW - Tissue alert.

Then-I recieved a wonderful link showing more pictures and telling more stories from my day at the Pentagon a week or so ago. Please. Check it out. Click on the Pentagon Event link. While not a tissue alert, it's still pretty damned cool. There's even a on-line scrapbook of the event that you should look through. If you were at the conf. this weekend, a couple of those faces will look familiar.....

Update on Prayer Request

I wanted to let y'all know that the Col. I mentioned yesterday is now in Germany. Soldier's Angels have indeed been angels and let me know he made it.

He is in ICU but from what I have learned they have found a pulse in both legs. He's not out of the woods yet, but it is indeed good news.

UPDATE 11:00am: Raging Mom has an update on her son also.

I Can't.....

I was hunkered down in my bed place last night, thinking.

And I realized - there are so many things I cannot do.

1) I cannot whistle. Not at all.

2) I cannot snap my fingers. I end up hurting myself.

3) I cannot spit. Hell, I even have trouble at the end of brushing my teeth, for cryin' out loud....

4) I cannot crack my knuckles. Nope. Can't do it. Don't even ask.

5) I cannot throw a ball. Hell, I throw so bad, throwing "like a girl" would be a HUGE improvement.

And these were just the first things that popped right into my mind. Damn - what the hell WAS I doin' during childhood to miss learning that stuff?

Seriously, who doesn't know how to do this stuff? Especially a "good ole gal"!!! They may just revoke my Country Girl membership!!!!

Thawing....

I have made a discovery.

I am not JUST Italian. I think I'm Sicilian. Seriously.

I'm a pretty emotional gal. I would go so far as to say passionate.

When I get goin' on a story or a hot topic you better stand back. I've got long arms and my hands actually move faster than my mouth - if you can believe that.

And when I feel something, I feel it deeply. I don't share my emotions easily, and when I do it's because I'm so full of whatever it is I'm feeling I have to let it out.

But I also believe in Carpe Diem - Seize the Day. Remember, never have to say "I wonder if, and I wish I had".

However - I've also always been taught about that whole "forgive and forget" thing. Now, I've never really known any one that could do that COMPLETELY, but it's been close. I used to have myself fooled that I lived by that standard. Yeah, honestly? Not so much.

So when my friend and I had our falling out last week, it was pretty emotional for me. I spent the evening waffling between yelling at no one and being physically ill.

Imagine my surprise when I woke up the next morning and felt.....nothing. No anger. No sadness. No guilt. Nothing. It was as if that 30 year relationship had never existed.

I always knew I could be "cold". I know that about myself. Don't like it, but I know it. That being said - I NEVER thought I would react like THAT.

And now, a week later? Yeah, still nothing. No, bringing it up is not a sign that it bothers me. What bothers me is the REACTION.

I've always believed in constant improvement. If you don't like something about yourself, then change it. Work at it. It takes time, but I'm proof positive it can be done.

But tell me. How do you regrow a heart? How do you learn how to trust? How do you stop the deep freeze?

THAT is what bothers me.

A Bit About Angels

You need to read this post that Teresa has about Soldier's Angels. Seriously.

She does a marvelous job giving us an insight into this incredible group of people.

Thank you Teresa.

Oh, and after you read......go on over and help.

Prayers Needed

OK folks - couple of prayer requests here.

First - Raging Mom has NOT had a good couple of days. She received news this morning that her son, who is stationed at Ft. Hood and was preparing to deploy, has had a motorcycle accident. Please head over to her place for the details and leave a little encouragement.

Next - I work with an amazing Blue Star Mom. This morning she tells me that her son's (who is on his 2nd deployment) Col. and very good friend was hit with an IED. Right now he's in pretty bad shape, and they don't know if he'll be able to keep his legs or not. Please pray for this Hero. And for his wife and children. And for his troops. I've contacted MaryAnn at Soldier's Angels in Germany and am confident that they will keep an eye out for him. But meanwhile, prayers are always a good thing.

What WERE They Thinking

So I see this headline as I'm signin' onto the 'net this morning.

WTF!?!?!?!?!?

So I start to read.....

"MOUNT LAUREL, N.J. - Six men from the former Yugoslavia were arrested on charges they plotted to attack the Fort Dix Army base and “kill as many soldiers as possible,” federal authorities said Tuesday.

The suspects were described as “Islamic radicals,” said U.S. Attorney’s Office spokesman Greg Reinert."

Are you kidding me?

Hmmmmm....so far I'm not seein' a lot about this in the news, but then again, I am supposed to be working.

These MFers have lived in the states for "some time now". They've lived in these United States, enjoying - hell taking advantage of - our freedoms and liberty, all the while planning to "Kill as many soldiers as possible".

I say shoot the bastards. Flat out. Line 'em up against the wall and just shoot 'em.

And we need to make sure people KNOW about this. For Cryin' Out Loud......those damned "consipracy" advocates, and the damned hippy idiots keep sayin' we "war mongers" are over exaggerating the danger. That we're all so safe here.

Really?

But here's my prediction. Very little will be said about this incident. Very little. And what is said will be something along the ridiculous lines of "well, they were targeting our Military". You just watch - that's what those idiots will say.

But, I do have say.....what were these guys thinkin'? Attacking Fort Dix? Yeah, I'm thinkin' that plan would have "blown up" in their faces.......

Dazed and Confused

Wow. Talk about crash landing back to reality. Damn....it's only Tuesday and this is already turning into one HELL of a week.

Between broken baby dolls, missed shipments and late quotes I didn't even know about, Monday was not exactly a walk in the park. Add in buyers who do not return phone calls or order 10x the amount they will sell in a year (causing out of stocks and all sorts of problems) well, let's just say OUCH.

And it really doesn't look like the next couple of weeks will be much calmer. Now, I love a good challenge, seriously. It's why I do this insane job I do. Well, that and I really don't have any marketable skills, but I prefer blaming that whole challenge thing.

ANYway, challenge....yeah, I enjoy them. But I'm thinking this next little bit is going to take every ounce of my focus and charm just to keep the ship from sinking.

The ship being my desk at this point.

See! See what I'm dealing with!! Seriously, I write exactly how I talk/think. Spelling errors and all. I can't seem to keep a centered thought in my mind for more than 1.3 seconds at a time. Yeah. This should be real interesting.......

My point? What the hell was my point in this flippin' post?!?!?!

Oh, I don't remember now. So I'll just tell you to Have a Nice day, and head out the door.

Now, where the hell did I put my shoes???

In The Know

I had planned this wonderful wrap-up, linking like crazy. But then, during my morning rounds, I see that Doc has already done that. Being the smart (and somewhat lazy) blogger that I am, I'm going to tell you to click over to Doc's place for the opportunity to read what REALLY happened at the MilBlog Conference of 2007. Oh, and Andi has another great list complete with links over at the official MilBlog Conf. site.

A Dilemma

I'm torn. Between what I want and what I swore I'd never have.

Let me see if I can explain.

Many years ago, in a small cape cod home in northern Indiana, there was a little girl. Well, she wasn't so little for her age. Tall, pretty damned tall as a matter of fact.

And stubborn. Yeah, really pretty damned stubborn too. In fact, if you could measure tall against stubborn, she was more stubborn than tall.

ANYway.....it was dinner time. The family was sitting around the breakfast nook getting ready for a typical family meal.

Hamburgers, mashed potatoes and corn.

The Mama was busy taking care of the new baby, so Daddy helped the little girl with her plate. Burger?.....yes please. Ketchup?.....no. No ketchup. Potatoes?....oh yes, extra butter even then.... Corn?......just a little plea-....NOOOOOOOOOoooooo don't put the corn on the 'tatoes!! No, they can't touch.... (read in very whiny 5 year old voice)

The Daddy was none too pleased with the little girls temper tantrum. He decreed that she would eat everything on her plate. Every last bite. And until that happened.....she would sit there.

The Mama tried to warn him. Tried to explain that it was a futile exercise.

But he was The Daddy. He had spoken.

So the little girl ate her burger. And then sat.

And sat.

And sat.

She was finally allowed to go upstairs and put on her jammies (she's always had a soft spot for her jammies) but she had to come back down and sit at the table.

So she did.

And she sat.

And sat.

And sat.

Finally it was time for bed. The little girl kissed her parents good night and headed up stairs. The pile of potatoes and corn still on her plate.

She heard the Daddy say..."We're in for some serious trouble down the road, you know that don't you?"

If he only knew.......

Now, fast forward to a commercial I saw the other day on T.V. It was for KFC's Chicken and Biscuit Bowl. It sounds wonderful. Creamy mashed potatoes, chicken....wait! They're putting corn on the potatoes!! That can't be. Oh....gravy. And Cheese!! Oh, I want to try it soooooo much.

But I made a promise. Sittin' at that table all those many years ago, I had one of my first "Scarlett O'Hara Moments". I sat in that chair and glared around that table and sitting so tall and proud, announced "I will NEVER eat my potatoes and corn mixed together. Never. Ever I tell you".

It's a moral dilemma, that's what it is.....

I'm not alone

I'm tellin' you......it does this heart of mine good to know I'm not the only one with luck like THIS.

Contagion vs the tree/chainsaw/bird.

Holy shit. I can say this now - I'm LMAO. Especially because I can see it all in my minds eye.

Start Your Engines.......

How in the HELL am I supposed to focus on work after a weekend like this?!?! For cryin' out loud.....

It's Monday. Monday morning to be exact and right now, thinking ahead to Friday is sort of like looking down the tube of an empty paper towel roll. Distant and distorted.

Anyway......It's time to hit the road to kick off this week. A little gas. A little coffee. A few cigarettes. It's all good.

HOWEVER - Blackfive has some links and info from the conference. Doc in the Box has a link to his interview on CNN (I don't know how I missed that cause I was really looking for it. Damn.) As folks recover from their travels and have posts up I will do my best to keep you updated. But watch the videos. Follow the links. It really was incredible.

Blind as a Bat

I'm Home. Just that easy.

Had the best cab ride to the airport. The older gentleman who was my driver was fascinating. He and I got to chatting and before I knew it - I was there. No problems at the airport, and wham I was on the plane.

I hear we took off 3 minutes early, which was surprising given the winds in both DC and Chicago. But we did, and I'm glad.

Now I need to explain something. I'm used to doin' this whole travel thing all by myself. So, I have a bit of a routine. I get off the plane, hit the ladies room and head to baggage claim. If there's nothin' goin' on at BC I jump out for a quick cigarette. Well, this trip T1G was pickin' me up at the airport. However, in my defense I just expected him to be at the curb. So....I walk through to BC and see luggage on the belts. Cool. I had glanced out the door to see if it was decent outside, but honestly, I was still thinking about the weekend.

Actually I was thinkin' I'm going to have to get new glasses cause I couldn't read any name tags during the weekend. As I stood there, lost in thought, I hear "So when you gonna get new glasses?"

WTF?!?!? Who the HELL is reading my damned mind?!?!?! I turn and it's T1G. Laughin' at me. I guess he was there, waved and I blew right past him.

Oops.

Anyway, it's kinda nice when you're traveling with someone who can not only find the parking garage but actually REMEMBERED where they parked. Huh. A new experience for me.

Now I'm home and getting settled in. It's baked spaghetti for dinner and just a nice quiet day.

But you had to know....if I'm travelin' there had to be at least a mini story in there somewhere!!

Sunday Morning Thoughts

I'm running a a bit slow today. Not for the reasons you think - I can hear y'all from here. No, I didn't over indulge last night. Just a good meal with some great company and back to the room.

And I can't honestly say I'm "tired". That's got a negative connotation. This is more mellow. Thoughtful.

I'm very proud of myself not NOT booking a flight that takes off at 0 dark 30. I got to sleep in, and just take my time. VERY nice change for one of my trips.

I just went outside to grab a morning smoke and wandered a bit around this tiny section of our nation's capitol. There is a brisk breeze this morning, not really cold, but enough to get my attention. The sun is bright and welcome. There wasn't a lot going on around me. Traffic was scarce, just a couple of cabs sitting in front of the hotel, waiting. And as I sat on the bench I couldn't help but giggle a bit. I'm sitting here in the Sunday morning glow In My Nation's Capitol. Twice in a fortnight. And both trips were to try and make a difference. And both trips I've walked away inspired. It's kind of mind boggling.

Normally I hate traveling on Sundays. Really. I hate it. They are MY day. To cook, putter, drive, WHATEVER my heart desires. But this has been a fantastic trip. I've had the opportunity to meet some really incredible folks. And if I told you I learned a thing or two, I wouldn't be completely honest. I learned a hell of a lot.

You see, here' the funny part. I've been reading MilBlogs before they were CALLED MilBlogs. Hell, it's the whole reason I started blogging in the first place. And even reading every day, soaking up every word, following every link, there was still a hell of a lot I didn't know. Didn't understand. And I won't fib to you. There's still a lot I don't know. Don't understand. BUT - well, I've just got a lot to digest right now.

I do know one thing. I'll be a bit more active going forward. Not just blogging. It's time I rolled my sleeves up and got my hands dirty. I'll find the time. I'll find the money. But I am no longer satisfied just sitting on the sidelines cheering. I need to get involved. This is my fight too.

So as I sit here in my room, putting the final touches on my packing I'm thoughtful. And grateful. And proud. Proud of the company I keep. And hopeful that I can prove myself worthy.

The End

Wow. What a day. Seriously. I wouldn't have missed this for the world.

I cannot tell you how much better I feel having been able to look some of these folks in the eye and say Thank You. How much better I feel having been able to put faces to words. Wow.

And talk about inspired. I've been feeling so frustrated because I just don't have a lot of options on who I can get involved at a deeper level. Well, no more. I have ideas and thoughts on what I can do. It's pretty exciting. Now I just need to make a plan.

I just hope I didn't hurt anyone in my enthusiasm. You know...I'm a big girl. I give big hugs. ;-)

I'm heading out tomorrow morning. Heading back to the Belfry and everyday life. But it won't be the same. Things have changed.

And that's a good thing.

Live Blog

WEBCAST HERE!

CHAT HERE

**You will not believe this. The kick off of the conf. is a personal video from President Bush thanking MilBloggers for all they do.

Does it make me overly mushy that I'm sitting here with misty eyes, listening to MY President thank these bloggers. Wow.

We are having a few difficulties hooking up a live feed from Iraq so I'm going to just keep blogging.

**Admiral Fox is on screen live from Iraq. Talking about the power of Blogs. Especially the MilBlogs and what an important role they plan in this War on Terror.

I'm going to take just a moment and make a point. While I am NOT a MilBlogger per-say. I don't have a family member in harms way. I'm not a member of the miltary community. HOWEVER, that does not mean I can't make a difference. Each and every one of us can. I see it every day. THAT is why I'm here. THAT is what this is all about.

Oh - Admiral Fox is taking questions.

**First question is about Anbar. We here in the states don't seem to be getting the story. He gives us some interesting background on the situation. Currently the Tribes are making the turn. They are seeing the difference in the other areas of the country and are wanting to make those changes in their area. It's slow and steady. But changes that are this big, changes that run this deep, take time. **Personal note: THAT is just another reason why we can't cut and run. It all takes time!!**

**Patty from Soldier's Angels (One of my heros) askes WHAT MORE CAN WE DO?!?!?! The answer? Just exactly what we're doing. Also - work with DoD and other organizations to get care packages and letters to the men and women that need them. But they do feel our support. They hear it and appreciate it! They know they are supported. It's not just the bad news that gets through.

**The Admiral is talking about the interaction between the Iraqi security forces and the Iraqi people. It's getting better. Everyday.

**Let me just say this right here. If you want "technical updates" you probably don't want to stay over here. I'm not going to try and keep up with all of that. There are hundreds of MilBloggers in this room that do a MUCH better job than I do. I'll let you know who's talking and give you snippets. But hard facts, names yeah, I'm not going to try and keep up with all that. THEY are the experts. But I'll give you the view of the day from a civilian, sitting in the corner just trying to keep up....

**Ohhh!! Andrea Shea, a radio talk show host who is a HUGE supporter of our troops, askes what can the MEDIA and BLOGGERS do to make things easier for our troops in harms way? The Admiral believes that in many ways Bloggers lead the media. The Truth will come out - especially when you have bloggers pushin' it out there......

**The Admiral makes a great point. "God wired us to WANT to make a difference". Wow. And he's sayin' if you walk around with the troops on the ground, moral is good. It's high. It's going to be a long hard road. "But just because it's hard, doesn't make it hopless".

**Y'all are keeping an eye on the webcast and chat, aren't you? You need to.....

**First Panel: Matt from Blackfive, Sgt. Hook, Sean of Doc in the Box, Bill, INDC Journal and Bill Roggio of the Fourth Rail. ----- Pretty flippin' impressive group of guys! "Blogging from the Front"

**Seriously - get on the chat or watch the webcast. These guys ROCK!!! I have no way of writing what I am thinking, seeing, feeling......

**Operation ShoeFly is STILL going? Got shoes? Get 'em over there.....I'll get the info posted as soon as I get home....

**I'm not ignoring y'all.....the chat room and live talking is just too overwhelming right now.

**Y'all know FOX news is here. Andi has done a GREAT job getting this conference the attention it needs....

** Did I mention that the White House has a rep here? Folks......how incredibly exciting is it that MilBlogs are really begining to be taken seriously??!!!

**Hook makes a point that DESPITE Stop Loos folks are re-upping.

**It's question time. Get your questions to Mrs. G at the Chat Room.

**OK - 2nd panel will be starting soon. My girl - AW is on the panel. All In The Family. Get to that damned WebCast. BTW - can you tell how proud I am of her?????

**Mr. Stokely is talking about the lose of his son. Today would have been his 2nd wedding anniversary. This man is incredible. His love for his son and his committment to our troops is just inspiring.....

**LUNCH TIME!!

**Note to self - write post about lunch program.

**Rapid Fire Roundtable panel. Led by John @ Castle Arrggghhhh. I'm willing to bet I won't keep up but what an impressive group of members.

**I'm tellin' you folks right now. If you can get to the next conference you need to. There is no way I can express just how informative this is.

**Captain Rice, from Centcom is on the panel. Letting us know that Centcom is trying. Trying to communicate, trying to communicate and work with MilBloggers.

**Wow. DoD actually throwing their support behind MilBlogs. It's kinda nice to hear the words........now, if they remember that actions speak louder....

**Next panel - one near and dear to my heart "Support - More Than Just a Bumper Sticker".

**And I need to just tell you Chuck Z and his wife ROCK!!!

**Soldiers' Angels. One of the most incredible organizations around. Sew Much Comfort - another group that does so much good. (huge understatement). We are looking at some pretty impressive folks on this panel.

**You want to get involved? That table in front of this room offers more opportunity than you can possible cover. The links will be up tomorrow. Don't just sit on the sidelines. Do SOMETHING!!!

**MaryAnn from SA Germany just summed it all up perfectly. It's about love. Plain and simple. Love and gratitude.

**Oh - before I forget - there will be a round up posted as soon as I get all the info together regarding the interviews that are being held. CNN, Fox, ect.

**Ok - that panel of women made me feel so humble. How intensly committed they are.

**Closing remarks. Overall - lte me just give you my take.

Out.Flippin'.Standing.

I'm so glad I came. This was NOT to be missed....

Morning Has Broken.....

So are you singing with me? Come on, it's a beauitful morning!!!

Holy Shit! I'm sitting here, off to the side, looking around at some of my favorite writers - and yes, blogging CAN be writing if it's done right - on a Saturday morning in Washington DC. And I'm sure I'm not the only one thinking.....what the HELL am *I* doing here?!?!? (And when I say that I mean, everyone is probably wondering why I'm here!)

Before I go too far into things, I'm going to tell you I probably won't post many pictures. Simply out of respect for people's privacy. BUT, I'm sitting here, plugged in and planning to live blog as much as I can.

ANYway......the flight to DC was fantastic. Right on time and smooth as silk. Grabbed a cab and made it to the hotel. I had planned on taking a mini power nap, but that didn't work out so well.

Army Wife popped up to my room and rounded me up for the pre-cocktail party down town. Wow. First person I spotted when I got there was my friend Blackfive. Of course. How could you miss him, he's usually the life of any party.

I'm meeting lots of folks, so many that the names and faces are starting to blend. I thought I spotted Sarah from Trying To Grok in the lobby. I was right. Damn, she is just the sweetest thing.

Teresa is here, always a pleasure to see her. The Donovans', and so many names, I've started a list. The best part is getting to meet and THANK so many of the MilSpouses. I've been reading them for so long and to just give them a hug and thank them........makes it worth the trip.

As we were kicking off the official cocktail party, I'm standing by the table checking out what name tags are left, secretly checking to see if Sgt Hook or Lex had made it.

I look to my left and there is a very dashing man, military bearing, shit eattin' grin. As I try to focus on the name tag he introduces himself with a handshake. OMG!! It's Hook!!!! Like he's gonna get away with a handshake with me....for cryin' out loud. He is everything he is on the blog and then some. Damn, I hope I didn't scare him off. I can be kinda "intense".

A while into the evening A very distinguished looking gentleman walks by and stops. Looks at my name tag and starts to grin. He sticks his hand out and say's Tammi? I'm Lex?

NFW!?!?!?! How the hell did you know it's me?

Tammi? You have a name tag and are really kinda tall. It's rather obvious.

Damn.....it was a great evening.

Ok - I'll have to tell more stories. We're getting ready to start.

I'll update links as soon as I can!!

Melt Down Avoided....sorta

God Bless Marriott Hotels and my bank.

Seriously.

I just had a major melt down. I checked all my balances, just to make sure I'm all yellow, when I notice a problem. A pretty big problem.

Seems I was triple billed for last weeks trip to DC. Triple Billed. Triple. Billed.

I called the customer help line, and explained what I was looking at. Told them I was getting ready to walk out the door for another trip and we needed to get this fixed. Now.

And you know what? They did. On the spot.

Then I called the bank. Told them what happened. Asked for my alternatives. They have me covered. Immediately.

Holy crap. For a minute there (well, actually an hour) I thought I was going to be posting how I wouldn't be going to the conference.

But because of outstanding customer service it's all straightened out.

See. There is a reason I stay at Marriotts. And bank where I do. They care about the people. They care about me.

That's just damned good business in my book.

MilBlog Conference

WooHoo!!!! It's time. It's finally time!!

I've just got to finish packing and I'm off. Off to the airport, that is.

I didn't get to go last year, but there were arrangements made so we could feel a part of what was going on. I'm happy to say, those same arrangements are in place again.

Here is the official MilBlog Conference site.

Here are the details for the weekend.

Here is the link for the chat room.

There will be a webcast for up to 1000 users hosted over at MilBlogs.

I am just so excited. There is so much to learn, so much to talk about, so many people to see again and meet for the first time.

Damn - I've got to calm down or I'll scare 'em all off. Won't I feel stupid, standing in the middle of a room, grinnin' like a fool with everyone keep a wide berth. Yeah, I better calm my ass down.

Anyway -- I've got to finish up and get going. Now, I am taking the laptop. I will do my very best to live blog, but I make no promises. I will do the best I can. So check out the links above and keep an eye on things. This should be a VERY interesting weekend.........

Tammi's Guide To Management 101

People are just that. People. Sometimes we all forget that little fact.

I've always been taught to be polite. To treat my "superiors" with respect. OK - I don't always do that all that well. But....I try. I'm all about the person. Not the title. I treat everyone the same. Until they give me a reason (good or bad) to modify that.

I remember when I first started out working. I was an audit rater for an Insurance company. I would see all these folks, in their formal suits, walking around with notebooks and this very serious expression on their face. Very stodgy in my opinion.

Hell, even the sales reps had me cowered. Always running around, something cooking, talking non-stop. They were all in "the know" and my job was dependent on them. They didn't sell, I didn't work. And they made sure we all knew it.

Then one day I WAS them. And I realized I couldn't sell without those other folks on the team. I needed them much more than they needed me. And that "in the know" shit? Yeah, what a pile of horse hockey that idea was.

So I've always made it a point to remember how important each and every person on the team is. Right now, I've got a pretty big problem at work. We've had to pull several people off of their regular jobs to do a little project for me.

I walked out to the warehouse yesterday to see how things were going. I looked at each and every one of them and said Thank You. I even did it in Spanish! I then made sure their supervisor knew how much I appreciated it.

On Monday I will take in donuts or something special. With a note. Just to make sure they know it's not just lip service. I am grateful. I know it's not the best work, but I couldn't do what I do without them.

And I can honestly say, I don't think I'll ever be "stodgy". You see, I have this rule. I have to laugh every day. At least once. Every single day. And when things go well? I celebrate. A happy dance here, a WooHoo there. Yeah, not exactly stodgy behavior.

But I get so frustrated with people sometimes. It's like they don't see the big picture. They forget that no one person is more important than the other. Without that sweet lady pulling my product off of the shelf, I got nothing. Without that guy running the paperwork in shipping, I got nothing. Without Customer Service entering the orders, I got nothing.

And that team is made up of PEOPLE. Each one with a life. Friends. Family. Dreams. Feelings. We need to respect that. And show them the respect they deserve. They aren't perfect. Hell, no one is. But as long as they give it their best effort, I'm grateful.

The other thing that bugs me is the whole "need to know" thing. I call Bull Shit. Oh - now, there are certain financials that don't need to be common knowledge, but regarding customers? Orders? Projects? Yeah, tell folks. Give them some warning about what is comin' down the pike. Allow them to plan. To feel a part of things. If they want to know, keep them up on long term projects. Tell them when we hit one out of the park. Let them celebrate too!

So yeah. Titles? All they mean is more responsibility. More chances to screw up. And the higher the title? The more exposure. The more risk. That's all. I just wish some folks would remember that.

Pumped Up

Wow. Tomorrow I head back to DC for the MilBlog Conference. It seems like I've been waiting for ever and now that it's here, I'm not ready at all.

With all the changes the Army is talking about our blog world could be changing in the very near future. Well, mine will anyway, because MilBlogs are the one group of blogs I make SURE and check every single day. Blackfive and Teresa have wonderful posts up that express thoughts about this situation much better than I could. And Laughing Wolf clarifiys a few things as only LW can.

I'm thinking the conference just had the volume pumped up BIG TIME.

Yeah, this should be reeeeaaaaaaalllllllll interesting.

A Picture's Worth......

April was the Month of the Military Child, and as I've mentioned, I had the honor of participating in an event held in the courtyard of the Pentagon on April 26th.

It was bring your child to work day, and we had 6 zones set up around the courtyard with different crafts that the children could make and take with them.

What a fantastic day. What an incredible idea. And it doesn't end as April flows into May. While they will be holding the air show at Edwards Air Force Base in May, there will be another event planned for these special heroes. And I'm hearing it will continue throughout the year.

Here are a few links on what the press has written about our event in DC.

The PressZoom has a pretty good wrap-up.

Here's a couple of pictures at Examiner.com that are so representative of what we saw throughout our day. Precious. That's the only word that comes to mind.

The organization that pulled all this together - American Supports You - has a wonderful photo essay up.

I'm hoping to get the opportunity to work with this group again. What a phenomenal idea.

Here are just a few of the pictures my group was able to get. I wanted to caption each of them, but the stories that go with each child, each parent, are just too difficult to put into words. So I won't even try. The photo's stand just fine all by themselves.

And just because I need some actual proof that I almost sorta kinda crafted......

Previous Posts:

Moving Beyond Words

Hands on Opportunity

Mean Tammi

I broke a sweet lady's heart today. My landlady.

I informed her that sometime in the next 8 weeks I need to move. It's time. I need more than 2 rooms to wander through, and well....it's just time

But seriously. I thought she was going to cry. Oh, we'd talked about it before, but she figured she could talk me into staying. Today. I made it official.

Now, this will not be easy. I'm not ready to buy and there aren't a whole lot of houses for rent here in THE Valley. Plus - I'm gone 12 hours a day. Kinda hard to house hunt with that kind of schedule.

But - I figure, slow and steady wins the race. I'll find exactly what I need. I just need to have faith.

But damn.....she just looked so sad......however, that being said, it's so very nice to be liked and appreciated that much.

Just a note.....

Why is it the night before a really REALLY busy day, someone you hadn't talked with in over a year calls to "catch-up"? At 11:00 at night!?!?!

And can you actually get a hang-over if you DIDN'T drink, but via fumes over the phone? Cause it sure as hell feels like it!

To tell you I'm dragging right now would be the understatement of the decade. I can't get the coffee in my system fast enough.

Busy day today. I've got to try and find the Social Security office in Rockford. That should be good for a blog post. Then it's off to get my drivers license. Oh, and a quick trip to the bank and the laundry mat.

Yep, that's right folks. Due to some personal things I just gotta take care of, I'm home for the day. I'd say I have the day off but I have a laptop up and running on the kitchen table, the cell phone and blackberry in the purse. Hell, I'll probably get more done NOT being in the office.

The one thing I'm really looking forward to is getting the final post up about my trip to the Pentagon last week. I gotta tell you, that's a pretty hard one to write for some reason.

Oh, and while I'm thinking of it, I could use some suggestions. I'm going to be buying a GPS system for the car (do NOT laugh! I hear you!!! You're laughing!!!!!) I've been doing some research but would love your thoughts. What I want is one I can install in Lana, I don't need it to be portable. And I want voice prompts. For a couple of reasons.

1) I can't be driving and trying to see on a damned screen where I'm supposed to be. Not a good combo with me.

2) It will seem much less lonely in the car if I have a voice, right there, TELLING me I missed the turn.

Anyway - more posting later today. If I ever find my way to the social security office and back again.

Cheater Cheater

Ok, I know all about innocent until proven guilty - yada yada yada. But I just have to comment real quick on this story I saw this morning

34 Duke Business Students Face Discipline for Cheating

My first thought when I saw the title was Wow. They are really good at organizing. They'll all make great CEO's at some point.

Then I read further down in the article.

Folks - they are accused of cheating on an OPEN BOOK TEST.

An open book test.

Cheating.

You really gotta be desperate/lazy/just out of your flippin' mind to cheat on an open book test.

Now, I've not gone for my MBA, but I do know from close friends that have, it's tough. Really tough.

But cheating? On an open book exam?????

Holy Crap. And with my luck, I'll end up working for one of these folks at some point. That makes me feel all warm and fuzzy......

All About the Good News

Ok, no more wallowing. One sleepless night, a few tears and it's time to move on.

So, today is May 1st. May Day. I'm hear by declaring it Good News Day.

So let's see if we can find some, shall we.

Oh, look. The head of Al-Qa'ida in Iraq was killed today. BY OTHER INSURGENTS. Well, according to "Iraqi sources". The US is saying they hope so, but they want to make damned sure. But still! Folks!! Sounds like pretty good news to me!

Tony Snow is back working at the White House. That is very good news. He's in a fight for his life against the cancer, and I'm happy to see he's able to start putting his life back together. I read a quote from him yesterday, I wish I could remember where I saw it. But it credits him as saying this whole experience has brought he and his family so much closer. He's a much deeper appreciation for the little things in life. I think Tony Snow is one class act. This is very good news indeed.

Raging Mom shares that her son's deployment has been pushed back to November. His reaction? "...and he is very concerned that he will not get the chance to go back to Iraq." He's one hell of a guy RM.

Ok - that'll get us started. If you have any good news to share, leave it or a link to it in the comments.

Come on. Don't keep all that Happy to yourselves. Share! It's May Day!!!