Tammi's World

Thawing....

I have made a discovery.

I am not JUST Italian. I think I'm Sicilian. Seriously.

I'm a pretty emotional gal. I would go so far as to say passionate.

When I get goin' on a story or a hot topic you better stand back. I've got long arms and my hands actually move faster than my mouth - if you can believe that.

And when I feel something, I feel it deeply. I don't share my emotions easily, and when I do it's because I'm so full of whatever it is I'm feeling I have to let it out.

But I also believe in Carpe Diem - Seize the Day. Remember, never have to say "I wonder if, and I wish I had".

However - I've also always been taught about that whole "forgive and forget" thing. Now, I've never really known any one that could do that COMPLETELY, but it's been close. I used to have myself fooled that I lived by that standard. Yeah, honestly? Not so much.

So when my friend and I had our falling out last week, it was pretty emotional for me. I spent the evening waffling between yelling at no one and being physically ill.

Imagine my surprise when I woke up the next morning and felt.....nothing. No anger. No sadness. No guilt. Nothing. It was as if that 30 year relationship had never existed.

I always knew I could be "cold". I know that about myself. Don't like it, but I know it. That being said - I NEVER thought I would react like THAT.

And now, a week later? Yeah, still nothing. No, bringing it up is not a sign that it bothers me. What bothers me is the REACTION.

I've always believed in constant improvement. If you don't like something about yourself, then change it. Work at it. It takes time, but I'm proof positive it can be done.

But tell me. How do you regrow a heart? How do you learn how to trust? How do you stop the deep freeze?

THAT is what bothers me.

Posted by Tammi at May 9, 2007 05:54 AM | TrackBack