Tammi's World

Just Deal With It

Mama Vi's visit to the doctor went pretty much as we expected.

He told her several times, in several ways that she will never be the same.

He told there isn't much that can be done.

He told her to pray for a miracle.

She took the news better than anyone expected. Oh, she's still pretty damned depressed, and in a lot of pain. But I did get her to laugh a bit yesterday so she's not completely in a black hole.

I'm going over there this weekend to cook up some meals to freeze and putter around the house. It's spotless, but if we don't keep up on it, it won't be for long. Plus that's all I really know how to do. Cook, clean and make people laugh. I'm not real good at the whole nursing thing.

But I have to tell you, I'm feeling a little guilty. Guilty that I won't be there for the holidays.

Now everyone understands that I HAVE to get a car. Everyone knows why I'm doing it the way I am and agrees that it's the very best option.

But isn't it ironic that I moved up here to increase family time, be closer in case there were any issues and I'm leaving for a little over 2 weeks right smack dab in the middle of what is about the worst thing that could happen?

Yeah, I'm feeling a little guilty.

And to make matters worse, my travel schedule starts to pick up again after the first of the year. All those shows. And they all include Sunday travel. Which means no trips to Mama's on the weekends. No time.

Yeah, I'm really feeling guilty.

Life never flows along as expected. We're always gonna see a curve ball or three. And I guess the only way to deal with it is to do just that - deal with it. We do what we can do. Give what we have to give. It's all that can be expected - by others and by ourselves.

But damn, guilt sure does suck.

Posted by Tammi at December 13, 2006 05:52 AM | TrackBack