July 26, 2006

She's All Grown Up Now

I may end up pissin' off my niece/blogdaughter with this post. But - and I'm gonna use HER OWN WORDS for this - it'll make me feel better so I'll post it.

This is a big year for her. She's getting married (to a very cool guy that has my approval 100%) in October. She's moving to a different section of the state soon - away from family. She's gonna be looking for/starting a new job in the next few months. And now she's got a few health concerns added into the mix. I'm thinkin' thats a few things going on. Oh, and did I mention she's in school during all this too? Yeah, well - like I said, busy busy busy.

I got the chance to chat with her, however briefly, last night on the phone. I'll tell you - no matter what conversation we have, I always just enjoy the hell out of her. Her wit, her intelligence, her perception. Yeah. I just wish we had more time for those talks.

I missed out on a lot of her childhood. But from the time she was 13 I got a front seat at the window. From 16 on I had the priviledge of actually getting invited to the show. And priviledge it has been.

She is an amazing woman. Simply amazing. Strong - in mind and body. Straight forward - no guessing where you stand with this girl. Kind - she gets that from her Mama. Along with her sense of humor. Yeah - she gets that from her too.

And I'm so very proud of her. But I'm having a problem right now. I'm having trouble adjusting to the thought of her not being there when I come to visit. I'm so scared I won't get the chance to sit and chat with her, play games, see her home. It just seems inconceivable that she won't be THERE when I come down. The whole idea of all the changes is hard to come to terms with.

And it is the change that's kickin' my ass. In my minds eye - she's still living at home (even though she hasn't in a coons age). I keep thinking when I get down there we'll sit in her room laughing and talking. I just can't imagine how it will be when she's NOT there.

Pretty selfish of me, isn't it. It's OK when I leave, it's OK when I make changes - but not anyone else. Huh. But there you have it. I guess that's just the human side of me.

And now I've turned what was, in my mind, a post about a wonderful young woman taking a huge step in her life, into a post whining about how difficult this is for ME. Typical Tammi.

But I guess it all boils down to the fact that they just grow up so very fast. One minute they're young and free, the next they are teens - caught up in the struggle to be themselves, the next thing you know they are adults - making decisions and walking away to live thier own lives.

It's hard to watch them walk away. But that sense of pride for who they have become is overwhelming.

I love ya darlin'. And I'm oh so proud of you. And thank you. Thank you for letting me be such a part of your life. MY life is so much richer because of it.

Posted by Tammi at July 26, 2006 06:05 AM | TrackBack

Did I tell you that you are my favoritest Aunt Tammi????


Posted by: Carmen at July 26, 2006 07:56 AM

Ha. There's only ONE Aunt Tammi. (thank goodness, right?)

Oh, and I forgot I signed a comment at your place using that name. Now I've left comments all over blogspot as everyone's Auntie Tammi. Talk about bein' a dork!!!

Posted by: Tammi at July 26, 2006 09:31 AM

Sounds fine to me- you just want things as you remember them.

I can go there with you on that.

Just make plans to visit HER HOUSE when you go that way. Make a day of it and do the girlie things!

Posted by: Rave at July 26, 2006 09:54 AM

you have a human side?

Posted by: shoe at July 26, 2006 05:34 PM
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