April 10, 2006

I Can't. I just can't....

Army Wife is asking if anyone else out there watches Talk Sex with Sue Johanson.

I will admit that I don't. BUT one of my best friends is addicted. Holy shit. I still remember when she first discovered that show....................

A little background is in order. Carmalita (long story on *that* name) loves things that are different. Seriously. We spent one evening out at a bar where all the retired circus people hang out. She was in heaven. We almost had to drag her out. She is always looking for something odd. Something "fresh".

One night, pretty late, my phone rings. It's Carmalita. She is so excited she can barely form a coherent sentence. All I heard was "old lady", "looks like a nun", "sex", "toys", "Oh My God!!!" I finally get her to at least slow down, take a breath and explain what the hell she's talking about.

That is when she tells me to turn the TV on to Talk Sex. I do. I sat there with my mouth hanging open. There sat this sweet little old lady, dressed like someone's grandma, holding the strangest lookin' thing I'd ever seen. And telling me in dry, factual sentences just how much pleasure it will bring me and how to use it.


Then, to make things worse in my book - she took calls. People CALLED in with stories and questions!!!! I could feel my head beginning to spin on my shoulders.

Now, I have to tell you something. I've got a pretty raunchy sense of humor. And my mind dwells in the gutter much of the time. But this? This was way more than I could handle.

I can't watch it. I just can't. I see it on the guide and still a shiver runs down my spin. I must be much more old fashioned than I realized. But somethings are just not made for TV. In my mind, this show is one of them. Holy Shit - it's Grandma showin' me how to do a blow job! Thanks, but I think I got it. I don't need instructions. And toys?!?! She's showing me how to use TOYS????? NOOOOOOOOO. That's just fundimentally WRONG.

But Carmalita? Yeah, she watches pretty regularly. She claims it's like a train wreck.........

Posted by Tammi at April 10, 2006 06:57 AM

"I must be much more old fashioned than I realized."

Umm... yeah - I could have told you that without even seeing this post.


Posted by: Teresa at April 10, 2006 12:06 PM

I can't watch it either. God love her for being so open and honest with her sexuality... But I just can't have a grandma lady telling me about vibrators. Nuh uh.

Posted by: Richmond at April 10, 2006 03:14 PM