Tammi's World

Talking Gets Me Hurt

My friend Bam called the other night. For a couple reasons really - one, to make sure I wasn't wallerin'. And two, as always, to make me laugh.

Well, we had us a serious chat. She said somethings I needed to hear. And then I got to gigglin'. Pretty soon I was out right laughing. She asked what was goin' on so I asked if she remembered.........

It was right after I first left my ex-husband. I had gotten this little apartment in East Chicago and was trying to make some changes in my life. One was I wanted to get more exercise.

I had seen on the late night TV some infomercial about the newest exercise thingy. It was perfect for someone in an apartment. It was this mat, slick with a bumper on either side. It wasn't terribly big but just big enough. You put these slippers on over your shoes and made like you were speed skating in place. No noise (well, for some people) and a GREAT workout.

PERFECT. I had to have it. So I bought it.

The evening the package arrived I was on the phone with Bam. I told her what it was and then proceeded to set it all up. Then I put on the little booties and got started. All while still on the phone with her.

Now folks - I have to tell you - I am not much of a skater. Never have been. It's something about having something between the ground and me that actually moves. Yeah - it's not so good. But this! This should be fine.

At first it was kind of awkward. Did I mention I was talking on the phone while trying to figure this out? Yeah, well, anyway......

Finally I start to get the hang of it. I pick up a little speed. Then a little more. I'm in the middle of tellin' her how great this is when - BAM!!! I hit the bumper a little weird and flew off the mat, through the air, and into the sliding glass door. Did I mention I was on the phone with her?

All she heard was AAAHHHHHH SSSSHHHHHIIIIIIIITTTTTTT Splot.

All I heard was her laughter.

Damn. That one hurt.

But it *was* funny as hell.

Posted by Tammi at March 6, 2006 06:08 AM