Tammi's World

Iowa - Recap - Part I

A bit better. A few hours sleep and a cup off coffee, in my kitchen from my favorite mug - yeah I think I'm ready to tell y'all about this trip.

First, let me just say... NEVER AGAIN. Never Ever Ever again. Yeah, that about sums that part up.

OK - now for the highlights of my trip. I figure, since I spent the first 5 hours of it in some warped trance caused by lack of sleep and too much corn, it'll just be easier if I write exactly as I remember. So...brace yourselves.

I finally left my house around 7:00 Monday night. I needed to pack and wait for the neighbors to get home and make sure they would watch Cody for me. Actually that's not 100% true. I had to find shoes. Flat, closed in shoes to wear with jeans. I haven't worn flat, closed in shoes since -well, before I moved. I was late getting started because I couldn't find my shoes. *I'm so embarrassed*

Anyway, meet T1G for dinner at Fritz's. TACO NIGHT!! Fritz has the best tacos. Eat, talk, laugh. All is good. Except so tired. So damned tired. OK - time to be a grown up. Gotta go. Get in the car and get myself all arranged. Cash? Check. Shoes off? Check. Cell Phone? Cell Phone? Son of a bitch....drive back to my house and get the damned phone. FINALLY get on the road around 9:45pm.

Driving Driving Driving. Dark, not main highways. Deer Crossing signs everywhere. Dark. Did I ever mention I'm not so good with night driving anymore? No? Well, I'm not. Tired. I had barely slept the night before and it was really starting to show.

Hilly roads. Cruise control won't work correctly. Ususally I like the hills - this time, not so much. Need Cruise Control. Oh...the Mississippi River. IOWA!! Finally almost there!! (actually going to the far northwest corner - I still had an entire state to get through. If I only knew.....)

The moon looks like a perfect breast just hanging up there in the sky. Close to earth. Weird. Why would *I* think it looks like a breast. Hmmm must be because it does.

Damn it...need gas. Shit......this may be US 20 but it's damned rural. Need gas station. Soon. Ahhh truck stop. Not my smartest move. It looked like something from a Stephen King novel. All these trucks lined up facing the gas pumps, engines running.......I kept thinking they'd all hit their lights and, well, you get it. I get out of the car and start to pump gas. Damn...it's aweful quiet out here. If someone decided to mess with me there's no one to help. OK OK OK wake up. Look tough. Yeah, right.

Back on the road. Extra large Diet Mt. Dew and a cup of coffee. I can do this. Damn. It's only 11:00pm. Tired.

Oh, Fritz's tacos. Let me just say, they are really great the first time, second time around with no Tums. Yeah, well, not so much.

Look the moon looks like a perfect breast. No More CONSTRUCTION! Dear God, I can't take it!!! So tired. So damned tired.

Hey!! Where's the moon?!?!? I lost it! Shit! I lost the moon!! Where am I?!?!

Corn, corn, corn, corn, corn. I am one with the corn.

Shit. It's only midnight. I haven't even seen a SIGN for Ft. Dodge.

If I can just make it to Ft. Dodge. Hell, at this point, if I can just make it to the next exit.....damn. Where's the moon??

Did I mention I got next to no cell signal once I'm west of Debuque? So I'm driving...all alone. Not fun. Not fun at all. Oh it would tease me with a bar here and there - but pretty much...nothin'.

Finally enough is enough. Pull off at Iowa Falls. Found a room, a smoking room even. Kid at counter reaffirms that yes, there is a coffee pot in the room. I did the happy dance in the lobby of a Super 8. Yes, I was officially out of my mind.

Get to the room. Get ready for bed. Turn on TV (nick @ nite). Crawl into bed. DAMN...this is the hardest mattress every manufactured. Son of a GUN!! Finally, putting a pillow under my hip bones I can start to relax. Then I start remembering all those training classes I taught about what lives IN your mattress. Yick. Finally around 4:00am I get to sleep.

6:00am...alarm. Damn. Just damn.

6:15am. Bou calls. "You 'wake?" What a sweetie. Wait! The cell phone...it rang!! A signal!! YEAH!!!!!!

7:00am Bou calls again. "You still 'wake?"

What she didn't know...at least I don't remember telling her...was that the little shit LIED to me and there was no coffee pot. No Coffee. No soda machine. I was fixin' to go on a tear when she called to make sure I didn't fall back to sleep. I pulled on my jeans and threw a denim shirt on over my nightgown. No, I didn't brush my hair or my teeth. This was IOWA and I really didn't give a shit at this point. Got to the front desk...same kid.

YOU! You lied to me! No coffee in the room. WHAT?!? No coffee here. (Both pots sitting there empty) This is what I'm gonna need for you to do....MAKE COFFEE NOW!

I stood there, in front of the machine, holding the a cup in each hand waiting. And glaring.

Stay tuned for Part II

Posted by Tammi at August 17, 2005 07:52 AM | TrackBack