There was a little incident yesterday. Oh, nothing dangerous or earth shattering. Just one of those life lessons that sneak up on you every now and again.
My neighbor's sister and her family came to visit. She has 2 small boys. I always bring Cody in, so that they can play and I don't have to worry. He is still a puppy and just loves kids - but he jumps. I'm working on that, but it is what it is right now.
So....as is the way with dogs, he had to "relieve" himself. So I put him on the leash and took him out. The kids came right over and wanted to play. Cody adores Indy and immediately started brushing against her and giving her little kisses. Well, she toppled over and Cody thought she was playing. No big deal - they do that all the time. I just picked him up and said NO. Well the other little boy wanted Cody to do that to him and I said NO. (I seem to say that a lot anymore.) Anyway - I explained that I was putting Cody on the chain in the corner and that I wanted them to leave him alone. They had the rest of the really big yard and to play there. No problem - Indy takes off and next thing I know they are out in the back playing frisbee.
I came in and started puttering. Next thing I hear a child screaming. I run out and there was the little boy sitting on the ground. Over by Cody. Cody's little tail was waggin' and he was standing back. But I knew what happened. The little boy wanted to play, Cody jumped and scared him.
So I brought Cody in. The neighbor's sister came out and ripped me a new one. Leaving my dog unsupervised with children. Excuse me...he was chained. Yes, I should have known better than to think the kids would actually leave him alone, but he did need to "relieve" himself. My Bad.
Then she started calling me white trash. White Trash. Before I could react she pointed out that I am a middle aged, single woman living in a small piece of shit duplex. Obviously I had no skills, no talents, no drive.
I stood there with my jaw on the ground. Who the HELL does she think she is? She doesn't know me. She doesn't know I'm up here, supporting 2 households, paying off a $5,000 moving bill. Starting over - again. She doesn't know shit about me.
Then it dawned on me. She's judging this book by the cover. How could she know. I wasn't about to tell her - none of her damned business. She gathered her intel and made her analysis. It's wrong, but it is what it is.
Then I took that a step further. How often do we ALL do that? Honestly....it's just so easy to make a judgement based on what we observe in a glimpse. No facts, just appearance.
I hate it when people do that to me. I hate it when I do it to others. But it's human nature. It seems we have this need to understand....to categorize people. Without knowing anything. Just what they allow us to see.
It's wrong. It's hurtful.
So....I just told her she was entitled to her opinon. I apologized for Cody. Then I came in and just chilled. The neighbor apologized - but she didn't need to. It wasn't her. She can't control what others think or say.
But I'll tell you one thing. I'm gonna think twice before I categorize someone based on their home or their appearance. You never know. You just never know.
Posted by Tammi at July 3, 2005 08:03 AM | TrackBackThat's why I just tag everybody as an asshole and work up from there. That way everyone has no where to go but up.
Posted by: Koolaid at July 3, 2005 08:12 AMWhen it comes to people who are a little too quick to flap their tongues (like neighbor's sister), I content myself with the knowledge that - every day - they have to wake up and be their small-minded, petty selves, and that they're cursed to do so every day for the rest of their lives.
I rather pity them.
Posted by: Harvey at July 3, 2005 08:12 AMI was just lecturing Harv about jumping to conclusions reference an accident we witnessed on Friday evening. (Knocking out all our power.) You just never know until you get all the facts in a situation and its better not to "assume". Cuz you know what happens when you "assume"...
Posted by: TNT at July 3, 2005 08:53 AMSounds like you did good by keeping your mouth shut, and not getting into a verbal altercation with this "woman".
----
I too tend to take these things personally, here is a good reminder not to. You are right she doesn't KNOW you. Brush it off.
Posted by: ArmyWifeToddlerMom at July 3, 2005 09:18 AMYou guys have to share a yard. If it's a concern that the dog is unsupervised, it should also be a concern that the little bastards are out there playing unsupervised in the yard of WHITE TRASH! Where the fuck were they?
Shouldn't have said that, but still... WTF?
I still am going to judge stupid fuckers by their home and appearance. But I'm still going to keep my frickin pie hole shut. They are likely better folks than I.
Posted by: That 1 Guy at July 3, 2005 09:25 AMWell, what an incredibly rude bitch. Did she even think of what she just said about her sister's life? After all her sister is your neighbor...
No - you can't leave Cody out there by himself when the kids are out - they won't leave him alone. So, no matter what, if he's out there when the kids are out, you will have to put him on his chain and just stand there to wait for him. Then take him in.
An "alleged" person like that will blame anything that happens to her kids in that yard... on you and Cody. This means if one of the kids gets hurt - she'll come after you to pay for it - at the very least. Don't give her the chance. Better yet, if the kids are playing in the back yard - put a leash on Cody, grab a plastic bag, and take him for a walk.
BTW - it's one thing to categorize in your head... it is human nature. It's quite something else to open your mouth and spout it. Talk about trailer trash!!! I think she is the epitomy.
Posted by: Teresa at July 3, 2005 10:34 AMShe called you white trash for leaving the dog unsupervised, yet who the fuck was watching the goddamn kids??
Fuck that bitch, you should have thrown an empty bottle of mad dog 20/20 at her... :)
Posted by: Graumagus at July 3, 2005 11:20 AMSweetie, she had no right. Consider the source!
And as for "judging" people", Teresa is right, we all do it but we keep it quiet.
However, I prefer to hold more light to my judgement on idiot's actions rather than their "cover".
Posted by: Sissy at July 3, 2005 06:30 PMYOu did good Tammy! Now just teach that to me!
Posted by: vw bug at July 4, 2005 09:03 AMI think this "lady" was just dying to take a stab at her sister, but didn't want to say anything to her face. I have seen this happen before, my ex-sister-in-law was great for this. You were a great opportunity to insult her sister without saying it directly.
Posted by: littlejoe at July 4, 2005 10:30 AMI judge people all the time, I wish I didn't, but I do. Then again I hate people, so I guess nobody really cares.
As for your neighbor's sister. She could be taking a dig at her sister, or she may just be one of those types of people that takes pleasure in hurting other people. Either way she doesn't know you, thus her oppinion is of no importance.
Posted by: Contagion at July 5, 2005 06:09 AMPeople who say hurtful things like that usually are unhappy with their own lives and don't like to see others who have done better then they.
So they first thing they do to make themself feel better is put others down.
And I think I wouldn't have been able to stop myself by saying "um, dude, your sister lives here too. So what are you saying about your sister?"
Posted by: Machelle at July 5, 2005 06:28 AM