January 16, 2008
Redneck Whore
Oh Shit oh shit oh shit.......
I'm trying to pack. One thing I *HAVE* to do while I'm in Florida is go to my cousin's daughter's wedding. BIG deal. LOTS of family. The conservative side of the family.
So....her colors are black and white. Excellent. I happen to have a beautiful black and white dress that I never get to wear.
I decided I better try it on, since I haven't worn it in a while and well, things have changed.
Oh shit. Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
It's got a black "under dress" with the black and white sheer dress over it. The over dress comes to my knees. PERFECT. Everything else fits just great.
Except.....
The under dress. I forgot how short I used to wear things. Even just a couple of years ago.
Folks...the underdress barely comes to the middle of my thighs. It's short. It's REALLY short. And that SHEER over dress? Yeah, it's really sheer.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit. It's great for a night out. Actually it's better than great. But for my conservative cousin's daughter's wedding? Where my most conservative aunt and uncle are the grandparents?
No way in hell. She would KILL me.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit.
I have NOTHING to wear now. I'm going to have to shop while I'm down there. And I only have one evening to do it in.
Cause other wise? Well, as Mama Vi would say, I'd be looking a little bit like a redneck whore. And while appropriate in some situations.....THIS....is not one of them.
Posted by Tammi at January 16, 2008 02:51 PM | TrackBackOh darn you have to go shopping. I feel your pain. I would love an "excuse" to buy an new outfit. My silly husband thinks that because we work from home that we don't need "nice" clothes.
Posted by: Lukie at January 16, 2008 04:23 PMLast time I went to a wedding I wore my uniform. Doesn't help you at all. Forgive my sexist comments, but it is an excuse to go shopping! The number one female sport of all time.
Posted by: Navy CPO at January 16, 2008 04:31 PMWhile normally shopping would not be a problem...but A) HORRIBLE at shopping on a deadline B) didn't have this in the budget.
Those two things alone GUARANTEE I'll find something I HATE that costs a fortune......
But at least I won't offend my family. That should count for somethin' anyway....
Posted by: Tammi at January 16, 2008 05:35 PMSo...I guess the *red* dress is a no no then.......
Posted by: bx19 at January 16, 2008 06:14 PMI didn't know there was ever a time when one of those was not appropriate. 'Least, I ain't lived through one of those times yet. Got pictures?
Hell to pay for sayin' that... I know... I already owe the devil, put it on my tab.
this post is meaningless without pictures.
Posted by: og at January 17, 2008 07:31 AMwhat happened to the plum dress?
Posted by: awtm at January 17, 2008 08:04 AMOh, that sucks. I hate hate hate shopping on a deadline. Ok, I hate hate hate shopping period.
Posted by: sarahk at January 17, 2008 12:29 PM Oh my. A redneck whore that butt tests mattresses.
I think I'm in love.