Tammi's World

Confession Time

Ok. It's time to 'fess up. Oh, and guys? Yeah, it's a girly post so if you don't want to read any further I'll more than understand. Really. It'll bore you to tears.

Anyway...Back in September I really started working out diligently. I was on a roll. And feeling pretty good. Then...I screwed up my knee. Really hard to do stairs and such when every step was more than just painful. So, I let myself heal.

In other words, I sat on my ass. And complained.

Then came Thanksgiving. And the kickoff to my obsessive Christmas baking. I ate more junk than 6 people have a right too. I felt like someone put sugar in my gas tank. Sluggish doesn't begin to cover it.

That would be when I got pissed off. SERIOUSLY pissed off.

And let me be clear on one thing. It has NOTHING to do with how others see me. It's all about how I feel and how I see myself. I'll admit, I'm havin' a bit of a mid life crisis. We all do, so I'm not gonna kid myself. This is a ME thing. I don't really care how you see things. I'm doin' this so that *I* am happy.

That being said....

I still can't work out like I was. The knee is just....not right. BUT, I am being obsessive - to a point - about what I eat. Most of the time. About every 3 weeks I make a big ole pot of vegetable soup. Just beef broth, a big ole bag of mixed veggies and a small head of cabbage. If that doesn't clean out the ole tank nothin' will.

And...here's where the confession part comes in.......I've started taking a pill called Miracle Burn. Yes, it's a diet aid of sorts. But the cool part is it's natural and it does NOT hop me up like so many used to.

Now, I'll be honest. In my younger days I was a huge speed freak. And if you know me at all, the very IDEA of me on speed is frightening beyond words. I'm a bit high energy in my natural state. Yeah, let's just say it's not pleasant. On any level.

But because I like that so much, I was very nervous about taking something. So I did my homework. I looked at what WOULDN'T give me that feeling but would still help control my appetite and help boost my metabolism enough to jump start a bit of weight loss.

Miracle Burn. Now....I can only speak for myself, and I'm not recommending anyone run out and order this. But for me? It seems to be working.

First off, I didn't put on a single pound over the holidays. Not One Pound. As I monitored what I was consuming I figured I had to be just sucking on the weight like a vacuum. But I didn't. In fact, I can't say right now, but I think I've actually LOST a few pounds.

And I do have more energy. Not that hopped up, heart racing kind of fake energy. Just....energy. And the best part is, it hasn't screwed up my sleep. When I'm not sleeping it has more to do with not going to bed than anything else. I can't explain it, but I promise, the days I'm not sleeping it's more than just those two pills I take in the morning.

I'm not proud of the fact that I'm doing this. But I was desperate. I know that sounds stupid to most of you, but I was miserable with things. THAT'S why the fact that I could wear that damned purple dress was so flippin' exciting to me. I needed something to make me feel good about myself. I'll admit it. I'm easy. A dress that I love, looking good? Yeah, that does make you feel better.

But when it comes to this sort of thing I've never hidden this from my blogging. I've been very open about my eating disorders and my feelings about how I look. So....in that vein I just figured I needed to 'fess up. My goal is to only take these through Memorial Day. If I don't have myself together by then, no MIRACLE pill is gonna help.

And I'll keep you posted on how it goes. But...it sure as hell isn't gonna be the focus of what goes on here. I just figured with the fact that it's a new year, and everyone seems to be on the whole diet and fitness kick, I'd throw in my two cents worth.......

Posted by Tammi at January 6, 2008 09:36 AM | TrackBack