Tammi's World

Taking My Own Advice

I just had a conversation the other day with a friend about how important it is to NOT let people push you around.

Now, I'm not talkin' "casual" pushing. I mean in your face, down right disrespect.

That...is not the way to deal with people. And I have seen, over and over again, that people will treat us the way we ALLOW them too. So if we ALLOW them to walk on us like a door mat, they will.

We have to let them know when enough is enough. When bad behavior crosses that line.

Otherwise, resentment grows - on both sides. How can you expect someone to respect you if you don't respect yourself?

Yesterday I had to take my own advice. And it was not very easy to do, let me tell you.

I had spent 2 days planning for a meeting. Data gather, charts and graphs created, booklets assembled. Hell, my boss even changed his travel schedule to be there.

This customer, who I have walked through fire to show that I am working to make their business successful. This customer that I have successfully completed every "test" they've put in my path.

This customer called me a liar. And canceled the meeting. Because he didn't get exactly what he wanted exactly when he wanted it.

I explained the situation, aplogized that it didn't happen EXACTLY as he wanted but that it is in process. Somethings take time. He didn't like it. He got a bit more "animated". He crossed the line from pushy to abusive.

I pushed back.

I said - in a professional manner - F*ck You.

I allowed my tone of voice to show my anger. I told him I didn't appreciate him wasting my time or pulling this "stunt" when my boss changed HIS plans to meet with him. I told him he now goes to the end of the schedule to see the line and get orders placed.

I pushed back. I said "F*ck You".

Now, as always, for every action there is a reaction. This could go one of two ways. He'll either stay pissy, push back and all my hard work for the past 6 months will be for nothing.

Or, he'll realize that while I am doin' all I can to make them happy, there are limits. And I will NOT be pushed around. I cannot make gold from straw. And he'll, while not actually apologizing, not try that little stunt again.

The ball is in his court.

But I can say, I don't regret what I said or what I did. It's one thing to do whatever you can to keep the peace. But it's one step too far when you are asked to roll over and let them kick you.

My friend said that often times, saying F You doesn't really get you anywhere. I explained that it does. It allows you to keep your SELF respect. The ability to look yourself in the mirror and know that you are true to yourself is as important as any other relationship you have.

So...don't be an ass....but don't let folks walk all over you either. THAT never works out well......

Posted by Tammi at November 20, 2007 08:03 AM | TrackBack