Tammi's World

Things

Sometimes I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed. Seriously.

Take last night for instance.

Now, before I begin this tale I will admit that when I lived in Bradenton I had a bit of a drinking problem. The problem was I drank. All the time. Every night. It wasn't good.

And I had a drinking buddy. She's still one of my closest friends, but it's just not pretty when we get together.

We made plans last October to spend New Years together. It's also her birthday. Usually if neither one of us has anyone in our lives we hang out together on that evening. Bein' as she is drop dead gorgeous I often had to make other arrangements.

Anyway - last night it was all about us.

I'm not going to go into too many details other than to say it's a good thing I know the back roads of that little town.

We ended 2006 and began 2007 listening to her favorite music, and some of mine. Singing so loud her teenager came out around 3:00 this morning to ask us to keep it down. Yeah, didn't happen.

This morning I awoke to a mini chi...chi.....damned little dog wanting to go outside. As I sat on the loveseat in the family room that I spent the better part of 3 years in I looked back.

And realized you really can't go back. And you shouldn't want to. While I had some major fun during my years there, I just don't enjoy that as much as I used to. And I sure as hell don't want to be like that all the time. I enjoy rerunning conversations in my mind. I love the memory of a smile from something said, or a sigh here and there. You miss those details in my old world.

While I realize much has changed for (and about) me in the past few years it's not all good or bad. It just is. And as I drove back to Cuz's this afternoon I made note of what I don't like about myself. Some things I can change, some I have to learn to accept.

It's a New Year thing. No resolutions. No promises that can't be kept. Just review. And brutal honesty.

And a few ibeprofrens to get rid of this damned hang-over.....

Posted by Tammi at January 1, 2007 03:21 PM | TrackBack