December 20, 2006
Obligation
I just hate that word. Seriously. My deepest most sacred wish is that no one EVER feels like they are obligated to me for anything. Ever.
And you want to get my back up? Easy, simply tell me I am obligated to do something. I will dig my heels in like there is no tomorrow.
I was trying to figure out why that word bothers me so much. I think it's because there is no joy or happiness associated anywhere with an obligation. It's a chore. There is usually resentment involved. How negative is that?!
And Christmas time is the worst for that. It's called gifts. I buy who I want what I want. I try to find something unique and personal and usually I enjoy shopping for each person on my list.
This year? Well, I'm kind of disgusted. Let me see if I can explain.
I've worked in many an office over the years. Usually gifts from my boss consist of gift certs for resturants, Bath & Body Works, movies. $25. Not necessary by any means, but it sure is nice that they thought of me.
Well, in my new job I'm managment. Ok. So, I wanted to get my assistants something. Something they will enjoy. I ask one of the other managers what the tradition is here in this company.
They usually spend $50 a person. $50!!! A PERSON.
There are people in my family I can't spend that on. That's just flat out insane.
So, my quandry is.....do I do what I planned in the first place and spend between $15 - $30 per assistant (there are 6) or do I go with the flow, as it were?
I've been made to feel that I am OBLIGATED to go with the flow. Yeah, you can imagine just how well THAT went over with me. But I actually kept my mouth shut.
I'm buckin' the system. I'm doing what I have had in mind all along. And I'm hoping that the girls I work with will be like I was in their position. Happy to be thought of, not upset because I didn't buy them a new Porshe. It really is the thought that counts in my book. It's not a popularity contest, it's Christmas.
Posted by Tammi at December 20, 2006 05:17 AM | TrackBackI see no sense in the work gift exchange at all ... I mean I give someone in my department $25 for the collection for the boss and the boss in turn goes out and gets me a gift worth around $25, why doesn't everyone keep their own cash and just have a potluck ...
I mean your giving and then getting back $25, no sense at all ...
Posted by: Quality Weenie at December 20, 2006 08:40 AMAt work, we have recently done a "blind gift exchange", but traditionally, direct gifting hasn't been permitted. It is a bank, after all.
But regarding "obligation" - heh. I've always felt the same way regarding anything, but I never put the word on it. Thanks!
Posted by: _Jon at December 20, 2006 09:21 AMIn my so humble opinion, go with what you had planned. It's the thought that counts and quite frankly, when someone spends a lot of money on something, it's generally because they DIDN'T have to think about it.
I was more touched and thrilled to be surprised with a $3 box of peppermint patties than something from my Boss that I don't need and can't use and will just give to Goodwill or something.
It's the thought and the sincerity and appreciation that goes along with it, not the price tag that counts.
Stand by your decision, it will mean more from you and for them. And if they don't like it, then they're just greedy and don't appreciate the true meaning of it all.
In my humble opinion.
Posted by: Lee Ann at December 20, 2006 09:47 AM"or do I go with the flow, as it were?"
HELL NO! Do what you had planned - to be honest, I'm surprised you even asked, I wouldn't have. I think you should absolutely do what YOU want to do!
Posted by: Lisa W. at December 20, 2006 11:10 AMHey... stop whining, and don't rock the boat. Just go along with it.
And then buy your family more shit. Cheapie. Right, Carmen?
;)
Do what you think is right. I've never been one to go with the flow either, and always try to get the people that work for me something unique and interesting. Or, shine it and take them all to lunch somewhere that will cost about what you were going to spend. It's as good a way to say thanks as giving them something they probably would never have bought for themselves.
Posted by: tallonexxl at December 20, 2006 03:14 PMI'm only commenting on this post because I kinda felt obligated to do so.
Posted by: zonker at December 21, 2006 12:18 AMYou're way too nice.
See, if you're spiteful like me, you'll change your plans and get them all just Christmas cards. With blatantly religious messages so you're sure to offend someone.
But that's just me.
Posted by: Ogre at December 21, 2006 01:45 PM