September 14, 2006
Here but Not
Getting off the plane last night a gentleman asked me if I had been at the Vegas Convention Center.
I told him NO and he said he would have sworn it was me. Huh. Seems that twin of mine (that they all say we have) and I were on the same travel schedule.
Damn - that is actually a scary thought. hehehehehe
Now I'll tell you, yesterday was a long ass day. LONG ASS. I was tired, which makes me clumsy and cranky. And quiet. When I'm that tired I just don't want to talk to anyone. So I was standing there, on the tram just looking around. At hundreds of folks just like me. All of us dressed in our business travel clothes, luggin' suitcases and briefcases. That blank look of exhaustion on our faces. Every once in a while you'd hear a laugh that just seemed TOO loud, too harsh. Everything was moving in slow motion and seemed bathed in a harsh yellow light.
That's when I realized. I'm part of the club again. The Road Warrior Club, and there are a shitload of us. I looked at these folks and started trying to figure out who they were. Women in their suits, hair mussed by now, make-up gone. I'd look to see if they had wedding rings. If they did, I'd wonder about kids. How do they do it? How do they make it all work? If they don't, who suffers? Do they kill themselves to balance everything or do they just let something else slid?
I'd look at the men and wonder the same thing. Do they make soccer games or do they just pop in and out of their kids lives? Do they make "dates" with their wives or just expect them to "buck up and deal with it"?
And how do they make relationships work? Are they faithful? (Because I'm tellin' you - many many many are not. It makes me sick)
Yeah I know. Weird stuff to be thinkin' after a long week - but I get pretty retrospective when I'm that far gone. It's like I'm just looking for that secret formula. The one that shows me how to have it all.
Anyway - I made it home. Now I'm getting ready to head to work. But it was weird drive home. My mind is elsewhere, my heart is kinda on hold and I'm just so flippin' tired. It's like I'm here but not.
I always wonder about their comfort items if they have been at it a while. When I started out on the road a lot I had a decent amount of stuff packed with me, multiple magazines and books and other things to keep me going through the boredom. I quickly started paring it down to more efficient levels until I was packed as lightly as I could while still hanging on to my few items that set me apart from the rest of the throng and kept my connection to home, usually a book, often cut in half to reduce size, a thin puzzle magazine and my very thin laptop with a DVD or two.
Posted by: rsm at September 14, 2006 09:46 AMSome do it well, others don't. As usual, if you looked into everyone's lives, you'd find that there is good and bad. No one - not a single person in this world - has it all. No matter how much money or how well planned things are... we all have to give up something in life and it depends on your priorities as to what gets the short end of the stick.
For instance, the man who is on the road all the time making a living. Maybe he's a jerk who just doesn't want to be at home with his family and this is an easy job for avoiding the day to day responsibility.
Or maybe this is the only way he knows how to make a living and he's working like a dog to make life better for his family. Maybe they live in a marginal neighborhood and he's trying to earn enough to move up or for his kids to go to college. That kind of thing.
It's tough being on the road all the time and being tired just makes things more surreal. Get a good night's sleep tonight so you're ready to travel again. *grin*
Posted by: Teresa at September 14, 2006 11:08 AMI hate travelin' like that. And luckily, I rarely have to do it. On the drive home... were your eye's open or did you fall back into bad habits?
I'm lucky, my company is pretty danged cool 'bout lettin' you out to tend to youngin's if they need tendin', and they know they'll get the hours out of you. Sooner or later. And they do.
I don't wear my ring anymore. She quit wearin' hers. Both of 'em. I do keep it on my key chain though. It does mean somethin' to me...
Hang in there. I did it for almost 3 yrs. and had great fun for the first 2. During the 3rd yr I decided I'd had my limit and planned my exit strategy.
Just this past week I was asked to go to virginia for a dept. business retreat and I asked to call in instead. when asked why, I pulled out this really cute picture of my son and explained that as single parent I don't get enough time w/him & have no one to watch him overnight. So I got off the hook but I know that the price is my career.
Posted by: michele at September 14, 2006 05:51 PM