September 04, 2006
A Story
She was 19 years old. A sophomore at Ball State University in Indiana. Her parents lived in Michigan. Her father, a tall (6'4") red headed man, was a dentist in St. Joe. Her name was Charlotte.
She was working towards a degree in Accounting. Tall, 5'11" with dark hair and, they say, a very charming personality. She loved sports, and was fairly active - hiking being one of her favorite pastimes.
She had a boyfriend. His name was Mike. Mike was a year younger and played football. Sadly Mike also had a bit of a temper. The relationship was not to last.
In November or even early December of 1961 she became pregnant. She thought about keeping the baby, but knew it just wasn't a good idea. She thought about placing the baby with friends, but knew she couldn't stand to watch her child being raised by someone else. So she made a tough decisioin.
She walked into the St. Joesph (IN) Welfare Department. She met with a case worker by the name of Mary Jo and explained the situation.
It is said that she was confident, knew what she wanted/needed to do. But she had some conditions. It had to be a Christian couple. They had to be "special". Mary Jo assured her that she knew the perfect family to adopt this child.
On July 28, 1962 Charlotte Sanders gave birth to a baby girl. She named her Julie.
She wrote a letter to Julie, assuring her that she was loved. That she was special. She detailed the emotional journey that brought them to this place in time. She left the letter with Mary Jo.
And every year - on July 28 - she called Mary Jo. Just to know. Just to maintain that connection. Every year for 18 years.
Then the calls stopped. It was up to Julie now.
In case you haven't figured this out by now - I am Julie. The information above is based on information I've been able to gather over the past years. It's really a beautiful story. I have several friends that are adopted and THIS is the story we ALL wish we could tell.
But it's time to finish it. It's time for me to find Charlotte. But I've hit a brick wall. I don't have money for an investigator. I've tried doing it on the internet myself - but I just do not have the skills. So - it was suggested that I put it out HERE. See if any of you have any suggestions, or maybe just possibly you know someone who knows someone who knows someone.
I'm not looking for a mother. I have one. A wonderful woman who has dedicated her life to her family. I just want to know this woman that I am told I resemble so strongly. I just want to ask some very important "family" questions....are there diseases I need to worry about? WHO am I? Who in the heck did I inherit these hips from? This nose? You know - important stuff.
So - there you have it. MY story. Can you help me write the next chapter?
Posted by Tammi at September 4, 2006 06:57 AM | TrackBackWow. I am stunned. I was not expecting that after the first few paragraphs. What a huge revelation. I dearly wish that I had some nugget of information that could help you find Charlotte, but I've never really been involved with any type of search for someone, particularly in the US. I do know that I've heard about free web sites and e-bulletin boards where people can put up ads looking for birth parents/children. Maybe you've already tried that, though. I wish you all the luck in the world; I know if there's someone in the blogging community that CAN help, they will. They all just seem like that kind of people.
Best,
Lisa
... good luck in your search, Tammi...
Posted by: Eric at September 4, 2006 08:19 AMTammi -
My wife and I are adoptive parents, our kids all came from other countries but I would like my kids to be able to have access to what you are looking for now.
No matter what, Charlotte performed one of the most unselfish and loving acts a person could. Your parents also obviously did quite well parenting you as the end result is obvious.
I found this page which may or may not help:
http://www.birthfamily.com/mailists.htm
My wife had been subscribed to this one for a while:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/BirthParentContact/
I could also furnish you with contact information on the second one but would rather e-mail it to you instead of publishing it in the comments. If you are interested I would be hapy to do so.
Good Luck in your search and God Bless.
Posted by: Biloxi at September 4, 2006 09:59 AMMmm. you have so much information, you really do. I would start by researching your biological grandfather. You have his last name... and he was a dentist. He may still be alive. You know where he practiced. You can find someone who knows him and work from there... find his daughter through him. He was probably a member of some dental societies.
We need to talk...
Posted by: Bou at September 4, 2006 04:35 PMWhat a wonderful gift from both of your mothers. My husband is adopted, and was reunited with his birth parents as an adult after an 11-year search. He was on good terms with all of them. If you have any specifics not mentioned here, e-mail them to me and I'll see if my husband can give any suggestions.
Posted by: Mrs_Who at September 4, 2006 05:25 PMWow! You have SO MUCH information! :)
I shared my information with scads of adoptee/birth family registries but have never gotten a bite... Maybe since you have more info they would have better luck making a match?
I posted at a message board... maybe 10 years ago... and one nice lady showed me how to use birth records to narrow my search. There are some great people out there willing to help... I just gave up after awhile.
Good luck and please keep us updated!
Posted by: pam at September 4, 2006 07:46 PMTammi,
This was a touching post....and well you show bravado here...
You must be ready, because I recall reading a similar post about a year ago where you are pondering this...
I am sure you have gone through every case scenerio in your head. I know you have. So you already have weighed this in your head. I am hoping one of your readers can offer advice, or assistance in locatig your birth Mother...
I will pray on this one...
Posted by: armywifetoddlermom at September 4, 2006 09:38 PMTammi- I research many things on the net. People are a little harder to find than 'things,' but it's still possible.
I researched my family tree back to 1760. If you want, I would be happy to start searching for your family. There is also a LDS library twenty miles from my house. They keep all birth/death/marriage records on microfisch, available to everyone. You just have to know on what book/page and slide to look.
Just email me with any information you didn't post, and I will do my best to help. (last names are a big help)
We all deserve to know the truth. I applaud you the strength it took to to get this far.
Posted by: Rave at September 4, 2006 09:58 PMI wish I had an "in" for you. Bou's suggestion is a wonderful one. The University may also have old student records though I'm unsure how helpful they'd be. As always - you are in my prayers!
Posted by: oddybobo at September 5, 2006 08:24 AMI'm proud of you. I know this is something you've wrestled with doing for a while and I'm glad to see you take this step.
As you've said, you've got a Mom. But this is something that is important for everyone to know how the story went and where it goes from here. It's not an ending or a beginning, it's another chapter in the story.
Congratulations on taking this step. I know it was not easy for you. Sending you big hugs!
Posted by: Lee Ann at September 5, 2006 09:51 AMGood luck.
Posted by: vw bug at September 5, 2006 01:47 PMWow.
Good luck, and you have my prayers, too.
I have no clue how to help track her down, but it seems others do. Good luck with you endeavor.
Posted by: dick at September 5, 2006 03:12 PMWow, thats cool. These folks have given you a lot to do already, so I'll just say good luck. I hope you find what you're looking for.
Posted by: Fathairybastard at September 5, 2006 11:39 PM