Tammi's World

Lettin' off some pressure

I've always been a bit of a loud mouth. Kind of a showoff, actually. And that was really because I was so damned insecure. You know, kinda like throwin' folks off the scent with bright lights.

Anyway, I used to HAVE to be the center of attention. It was terrible.

Now, not so much. And when I say NOW I mean this has only happened in the past few years. I've calmed.

I won't kid you. I talk like a manic if I'm nervous. But as some folks get quiet around new folks and then when they feel comfortable talk your ear off - I'm just the opposite. The more I know you, the more I like you, the more I'm content in just chillin'.

That's been very difficult for me to adjust to, sometimes. I battle with the thought that "I'm boring" or just odd. (Ok, I'll give you the odd part, but not the other!)

And while it's difficult to adjust to - I'm very much ok with it. I cannot tell you the number of times I've left an event or got off the phone and just hated myself for being so....extroverted.

Now, I still love to tell a story or a joke. And there is not much more I enjoy than a good conversation. But I don't feel the need to entertain any more. I can relax and just flat out BE.

I've taken the pressure off of myself.

Damn - sometimes this "growin' up" stuff ain't so bad.

Posted by Tammi at July 5, 2006 05:55 AM | TrackBack