Tammi's World

Subtle Differences

I mentioned a couple of times that I spent some time in Costa Rica while in college. It was required to graduate. Each student was given a choice of countries and timing. We could choose from CR, Haiti, Honduras, Belize, Germany (for a bit extra money) and China (for a lot of extra money).

The purpose was to help us understand how it feels to be a stranger in a strange land. How important it is to step outside our comfortable lives and learn new things. Also - being a Christian College hell-bent on missionary service, it really hammered that concept home at the same time.

I choose Costa Rica. I didn't really think Germany needed my help, China held no interest for me at the time. Haiti was (and is) in really bad shape. I was young (19) and, to be honest, didn't want to work that hard. Honduras and Belize were "hot spots" with plenty of military action and I wasn't in the mood to be shot at. Plus - CR had McDonalds and Pizza Hut. Yeah, I was a typical 19 year old.

When we got there the first four weeks were all about learning the language and the culture. I had taken Spanish in school for 8 years so that was easy. There are just so many nuances. For example, Mamacita in schoolroom Spanish is Little Mother. In CR - little whore. Yeah, I learned that one the hard way.

But visiting the landmarks, taking part in the celebrations really helped me to understand a bit of the culture we were living in. That's important. It's polite and it makes us better people.

We were all assigned families to live with. My family was rather small. I had a sister that was at University and another that was married. Her son Carlos was over all the time. Damn, I loved that kid. He rocked. My mother was from Nicaragua and simply the sweetest woman I've ever known. My father worked for Dole in the fruit plant. (never really did get what his job was.) They welcomed me with open arms and made me feel like a part of the family right from the start.

After the first four weeks everyone was assigned a job and spread out throughout the country. I stayed right where I was. Everyone else was teaching English in local school. Honest to goodness - our leader told me they were worried that because I curse so much, that's what I would teach my students. (Remember very religious school) so I was assigned to work at a clinic for malnourished children, and stay in the San Jose area.

The stories from the clinic deserve a post of their own, so I'll write those in the near future. What really hits me today is how important understanding the culture and people were in really experiencing the best of Costa Rica.

I remember standing in line at McDonalds. This guy was in front of me just yelling at the girl behind the counter who was trying to take his order. His Spanish was so bad even I had trouble understanding him. So I spoke up and offered to help him order. He spent way too much time bitching about how they should speak English and how hard it was to get around down there. I got his order, turned to the girl and apologized for him. Then placed his order. He was rude, crude and socially unacceptable. Unfortunately there were a lot of people down there like that.

I made some mistakes of my own. Like calling my mother a little whore. Yeah, I still cringe over that one.

Then there was the time I had to go to the local grocery store to buy tampons. I was first struck by the fact that I couldn't buy cereal! I really wanted some cereal. After wandering around the store muttering I picked up a box of tampons and went to check out. I put it down on the counter and you could hear a pin drop. Everyone was staring. When I got home my mother was on the phone almost in tears. Trying to explain something to someone. I went in my room to put away my stuff and she came in and asked if we could talk. It seems I brought embarrassment on to my family. Only hookers used tampons. I bought them at the store down the street from her church and some one had called to warn her that the Priest would be paying a visit asking me not to attend mass anymore. YIKES. I'm not Catholic, but I knew the college wasn't going to be real pleased with me offending the local church.

It all worked out, because I claimed ignorance and begged forgiveness.

But it was because we just don't know the subtle differences between cultures. And unfortunately many people don't care. They figure I am who I am and either deal with it or don't. I agree with that to some extent, but I also believe when visiting someplace, different country, town, or family, we owe it to them to show respect for their life style, their traditions. By doing that, only good things can happen. We share ideas and grow.

And I have used those lessons learned often. When working at the steel plant I was responsible for the new arrivals from Japan. I would meet the family at the airport, take them to lunch, to the bank and such and then to their new homes. Then I'd take the women to the grocery store and other little jaunts to get what they needed to make things more "homey" for them. Most had never been to the states. I understood the confusion, the fear. I worked with the children, playing games and introducing them to others that were in close to the same situation. I arranged parties and festivals to help everyone start to acclimate.

It made a difference. It made the temporary transition that much easier. It's hard being a stranger in a strange land. Whether you're going from the US to a third world country or going from Chicago to Birmingham. There are still differences, and they need to be respected.

It is a small world, but still so very different. I don't know, maybe I'm just weird but I want to understand those differences. However subtle.

Posted by Tammi at October 19, 2004 08:51 AM