While we here in Florida appreciate the fact that you visit and spend your money (saving us from having to pay state taxes) there are a few things that I feel need to be brought to your attention.
1) Please remember that you are guests. We Live Here. Pushing your way past us in the grocery line will only get you hurt. Seriously.
2) When dressing it is important to actually look at yourself in the mirror. Now don't misunderstand me, I'm all about comfort. Hell I'm the queen of denim shorts little tops and baseball hats. HOWEVER, please refrain from wearing black silk running short (with the bottom half of your ass cheeks hanging out) and crop tops (with entire stomach and bottom portion of boobs hanging over) out in public. It's not pretty. Not pretty at all. Especially when you are roughly the color of milk. And past the age of 12 it just isn't cool to wear the bright pink baseball cap to the side. At 40 it's just sad.
3) When driving, please obey the signs. Stop really does mean Stop. Those little arrows in the throughways of the parking lots? Yeah, they actually stand for something. Just ask Jewlery Man. It's a sure fire way to meet people, I just don't think it'll be the pleasant experience you were looking for during vacation.
4) Sales tax is sales tax. Everyone pays. (well except for that month for back to school.) Yelling at the sales clerk will not get you out of it. You may be a guest, but you are not that special. Causing a scene and holding others up in line is not the way to make friends and influence people. (again I reference Jewlery Man.)
5) Just because you will be leaving at some point does not give you the right to deface or trash your surroundings. Please don't dump all the trash out of your mini-van into the Publix parking lot. That's not nice. Please don't stand in the middle of the throughofare and then yell at people that are trying to drive by. Please use the brain that God gave you and keep your children safely away from traffic so that a certain resident doesn't have to slam on her brakes (only going 5 mph) and swerve into said garbage left in parking lot to avoid hitting your child while you stand there trying to decide between Disney and Universal Studios!!!!!!!
So, overall I hope your time with us is pleasant. Enjoy yourself, soak up some sun, visit the sights. Just remember - we natives aren't necessarily as nice as the commercials say we are.
Thank you.
Posted by Tammi at October 14, 2004 07:51 PMWe're noticing the snow birds are back early this year. Bah! I can't figure out why? Maybe to check on their places? Phtt. Why bother? It's not like they can find a damn roofer anyway. There isn't a roofer taking calls or wait lists throughout the entire daggum state. Or screeners. Or dock builders. Or tree services...
OK, I'll back off now. :) My husband really does need to come back in town. It's make me nutty.
Posted by: Boudicca at October 14, 2004 08:14 PMBut Tammi - they act like that here too!!! Not to mention dressing just as poorly. I didn't want you to think you were the only ones to have to deal with these losers. *grin*
Honestly, I only go out once a day, to the grocery store (during the week) and I can't tell you how very often I look at people in the store and think "you put that on... on purpose!?!?" LOL.
Posted by: Teresa at October 14, 2004 08:26 PMThey act that way in Port Aransas, Tx too. And the 40 yr-olds with the baseballcaps backwards--do you know just how STUPID you look? You look OLD, not cool.
Posted by: Roo at October 14, 2004 10:03 PMI certainly hope it was a tourist I saw the other day that was wearing spandex pants, spandex top and was WAY too overweight to do it. Scared me.
Posted by: vw bug at October 15, 2004 06:08 AMYour gain is our gain!
All those old snow birds have flown the state and are headed your way. We have had enough of them during the summer, now it's your turn!
When men dress bad it is a direct reflection on the wife. I would never let my hubby out of the house looking like a dork and when I see men looking like dorks I blame the wife. Come on, men are fashion deficent.
Posted by: Machelle at October 15, 2004 07:09 AMHaHa!!!! Yes, indeed they act like this in Philly too...but it's Eagles hats turned sideways...and "I'm a Bitch -So What?!" t-shirts cut off to reveal enough rolls to supply Pilsbury...Walking s-l-o-w-l-y in front of your car -when you have the green...deciding between the check cashing store-front or the dollar store! I guess you can't get away no matter where you are! LOL....
Posted by: ALa71 at October 15, 2004 08:41 AMI'm glad I don't have to put up with it. And I find American tourists in London to be absolutely charming. Some people complain they're too loud, and go on and on about how small things are, but that's just enthusiasm. And fact. I can't imagine going to DisneyWorld and *not* remarking on how big it is. It's the truth!
Posted by: Sally at October 15, 2004 11:45 AMHi, I came over from Bouddica's. I grew up in Florida, lived all over, Sarasota, Tampa, Ft. Lauderdale, Miami, Boca Raton and Boynton Beach.
Do you take requests! Do one on the blue hairs at the deli at Publix!
I live in Texas, but I go and visit my mom and sisters in Boca. Whenever I go back, I wish I had a video camera every time I go to the deli at Publix. Some blue hair is always in there trying to get each piece of deli sliced cheese individually wrapped, or having the guy sort through every piece of fish to find on that weighs exactly 1lb, or the turkey is sliced too thick or too thin. It just cracks me up to watch the counter help.
Posted by: Stu at October 15, 2004 08:24 PM