Tammi's World

Did I ever tell you about the time....

I almost got my head chopped off in Costa Rica?

No? Well it's actually a pretty funny story - now.

I was there as a requirement of the college I attended. We all had to spend a semester in a foreign country working as a missionary. Ok - stop laughing now. I chose Costa Rica for several reasons and will never regret that decision.

There was a group of 12 of us. The first 4 weeks we spent living with families in or around San Jose and attending classes, taking tours and basically learning to culture so we wouldn't make complete asses of ourselves when scattered to the four corners of the country.

The last of those 4 weeks we got to visit the beach cottage the college owned in Limon. It was as base as can be. No electric, no running water but only about 20' from the most beautiful black beach I've ever seen. But wait, I'm getting ahead of myself.

We took the train to Limon. Now the trains in Costa Rica were a blast from the past. I swear it was straight off of an old John Wayne western. Wooden bench type seats and the bathroom...well, the toliet consisted of a metal barrel cut into thirds and positioned over an open hole looking down at the track. Talk about stage fright!!!!

So anyway - we're on this train going through the mountains and seeing some of the most beautiful scenary I've ever seen. Winding up, up, up until all of a sudden we jerked, swayed, skittered and stopped. WTF?!?!?

Our leader (and he was fearless with this crew) went to find out what happened. Well shit. It seems the train derailed. Hmmm...in the middle of the mountains, in the middle of the jungle. The only help was the train coming from Limon and we'd have to change trains when it got there.

So we waited. And we waited. A group of American students gawking and laughing and basically getting on the last nerve of every Tico on that train.

Finally 5 hours later - after the sun had set the other train arrives. That's when we realized we had to actually get off the train, walk through the mud to board the other train. Mud folks. Mud that I sunk into mid calf. Jungle. Critters. Dark. Yeah - my imagination went wild.

But we did it. However, we got split up on the new train. Most everyone was able to get seats together at the front of the car. However, I got pushed to the back of the train, alone. Oh - there was some guy from Alaska that was sitting next to me. We struck up a converstation. He was meeting up with a group of his friends in Limon and they were spending some time on the beach. Cool. That's when he asked if I wanted to join them - clothes optional. Uhhh, no. Thanks, but no. Did I mention he was a left over hippy from the age of flower power. Yeah - even then I was a hippy hater.

So the converstation ends and I'm sitting there in the dark just looking around. All of a sudden I hear this Swoosh Swoosh from behind me. WTF? I look around, but it's pretty dark so I didn't really notice anything. Swoosh Swoosh there it was again.

I turn around and there was this man swinging a machette about 1" from my head - ok, it seemed like 1". DAMN!! He looks down at me, keeps swinging that machette and starts chanting....We Hate Americans Go Home Americans swoosh swoosh.

Can you say panic attack? Yeah. I'll admit - I freaked. Hell, I'd been on a train for over 12 hours, on wooden bench seats, squatted over an open barrel and shit on a train track, walked through mud that was determined to suck me in and dodged God only knows what kind of critters, invited to a Hippy Love in - Now This.

I turn around and hollered at my cousin. (he was part of our group). He had been raised in Brazil and I had learned just enough Portuguese to tell him to get the f*ck over here and switch seats with me. My hero, he did and the guy backed off.

But damn.......scared the shit out of me!!! I determined right then and there that I was going to learn Spanish well enough that no one mistook me for a tourist again. Yeah - how many 6'2" Tico women do you see walking around! :-)

Posted by Tammi at October 14, 2004 09:56 AM