I've been on my soap box again lately, so I'll keep this one light and just kinda let you know what's going on and why.
First - about my new commenter. Some people would say I should have just zapped and banned. But I didn't. The main reason is because everyone is entitled to their opinion. I'm not going to stop someone from expressing theirs just because I don't happen to agree. That being said, I Will Not tolerate personal slams, name calling or just flat out trash. So I warn once. That's it, one warning. If you can stay focused on the content of what is posted and keep from the low blows, name calling and such then I'll just let things flow. Otherwise I ban.
I haven't had any real problems like this before - most everyone that stops by here is pleasant and we have a pretty good time. By commenting at other sites, I invited this exchange. **Note to self - think twice before you click that "post" button when visiting others.**
I'm getting ready to head out the door right now. Heading south to Ft. Myers for a day of meetings and such. I'm hoping I'll walk away from that with a better understanding of some of the details in my job. You'd think that afer a year I'd already have that under my belt, but alas, that is so far from the truth you'd be amazed. It's caused a lot of frustration and more than a few major incidents. I want to believe that this is just the first step in correcting those. We'll see. *Sometimes I think I'm really from Missiouri - Show Me!*
I had trouble sleeping again last night. That's been a problem for a while now, and last week the doctor gave me something to help me. However, since I had to be out and on the road this morning so very early, I didn't want to take anything and oversleep. So.....instead I thought. I thought a lot.
Do you ever sit back and look at the person you present to the world versus the person you see yourself as? I do. I hate hypocrosy. A lot. So I do a check looking to make sure I'm not guilty of it. I also believe that a person should always be growing, evolving. I think that's important and I put some effort into that.
But when I was there on the couch last night, trying not to get so deep into sleep that I screwed up, there was something that really became clear to me. You, the people that read this site, know me better than some friends I've had over the last 10 years. I've been more open, more Tammi here than I have in real life. Kind of the opposite of what many think about the internet, isn't it.
I think it started out so annonmously. I finally found an outlet where I could express my thoughts, my politics, my reactions without fear of retribution. I had the freedom to finally say what I really thought, express this sometimes warped sense of humor and, well, just be me.
I find that I often get frustrated at the way some of my friends treat me. Oh, now I've got some folks in my life that just love me for me, but I also have some that think they know me, but would be surprised if they read this blog. I've compartmentalized things. I have my play friends, I have my corporate friends, I have my family. And not very often to the groups intermix. I do that on purpose. My corporate friends are truly friends. It's just we do things like to go museums, the theater, have nice dinner parties, go to concerts. My play friends are the ones I've been in the trenches with. We get a little rowdy, we drink too much, take crazy trips, get into trouble. My family - well, they know what I tell them. :) It's better that way. And they are all spread all over the country.
But I found I was surprised that my play friends never dreamed that politically I am as conservative as I am. They actually thought I was a bleeding heart liberal. Not because I said anything that would lead them to believe that, because we don't talk about politics, we play. But they just assumed, with my background that I was a pretty sure bet in that.
My corporate friends know the intellectual side of me. They know I'm not a dumb girl. They realize in talking business with me that I am pretty conservative. They also know that I don't have any problem at all speaking up or taking charge. But many of them are shocked if they learn I used to sing in a band or model. They are amazed to discover that if you really scratch the surface you'll find a good ole girl beneath the polish. I've never denied that part of me, I just don't show it.
My family? We'll let's just say, the fact that I live in Florida makes our lives much easier, on several levels.
But all this boils down to my surprise at the fact that the friends I have made via this blog and being a part of this community are the ones that actually know me best. Some have become close, personal friends. People that I call or call me fairly regularly. Then there are you that visit and comment or send emails. WOW. You gotta know how much that means. And again, it surprises me. I've removed all the barriers between all the sections of my life and let it all mix together in one place. This blog. And it really feels good.
So....just a bit of this and that for today. I need to get on the road, but just thought I'd clean out what was on my mind. It can be kind of dangerous, me driving on open roads with so many thoughts pushing to get out.
Posted by Tammi at October 5, 2004 06:45 AMGrowth, it's what makes life interesting.
Seems like your in a growth stage right now in your life. I bet in the next couple years you'll be at a place that you wouldn't think you would be right now.
Listen to yourself and follow what that says, because your saying a lot to us that you might not realize your saying.
Posted by: Machelle at October 5, 2004 07:24 AMTammi, it was not my intention to upset you, and if I made my point too brusquely or harshly and this offended you personally, then I hereby sincerely apologize.
All sarcasm aside, I'd just like to make a couple of points:
1. I think the outrage (real or otherwise) that some people are displaying about Kerry 'breaking the rules' by bringing a pen to the debate is vastly overblown. You're entitled to your opinion, and this is mine.
Yes, Kerry was aware of the rules as they were agreed, and that is why he saw the rules probably more in terms of their spirit and intention than their strict literal interpretation. The rules about not bringing anything to the table were designed to prevent props that could be used to illustrate a point, as well as anything that could be used to cheat, such as for example a crib sheet. I'm guessing Kerry always carries a pen with him, and he is used to making notes every day. I doubt very much that it occurred to him that this would be seen as violating the rules - since he was aware of the reasons for those rules.
Having said that, Kerry did violate the letter of the agreement, but not the spirit. Bush did so as well, as you've already acknowledged in your other post, once you were made aware of it - sometimes he merely violated the letter of the agreement, sometimes quite clearly the spirit thereof, which naturally is worse.
Ultimately, this is all entirely trivial, and I doubt very much people would try to make an issue out of this if the shoe were on the other foot - or if things had gone well for Bush. None of these transgressions by either candidate did anything to affect the outcome of the debate, which clearly did not go well for Bush. Even someone who thought Bush did very well at the debate can't deny the empirical evidence that it has resulted in improving Kerry's chances and hurting Bush's.
2. To be consistent about sticking to agreed rules, let me throw a few examples out there for you:
a.) Bush this year missed the deadline for filing as a presidential candidate in the state of Florida. According to the rules, he would not be allowed on the ballot. What should be done about this?
b.) In the presidential election in Florida in the year 2000, a number of absentee ballots showed up after election day, without post marks. According to the rules (designed to prevent fraud), those ballots should not have been counted. What should have been done with these?
c.) In the presidential debate, Bush walked past the center line over to the left side of the stage to shake Kerry's hand, which was in clear violation of the agreement. Later on, Bush spoke out of turn, again in clear violation of the agreement. What should be done about this?
(P.S.: on your main page you have two blogs by your "kids" - are they your own daughters, or did you not mean that literally?)
SB - Those are blogkids. And they're adorable :-)
Posted by: Harvey at October 5, 2004 09:00 AM"All sarcasm aside, [..]"
I hasten to add that by this sarcasm I did not mean the preceding paragraph, but my earlier comments on Tammi's previous post.
Posted by: Shadowboxer at October 5, 2004 09:34 AMHi Shadowboxer...
We're Tammi's blog-children (not bio). We're a BIG FAMILY and we've very protective of our girl. We play nice and don't bite the company, but we've been known to misbehave at times. ;D
Posted by: Lee Ann at October 5, 2004 09:51 AMWell it really depends on what the company looks like, if we bite or not!
What LeeAnn (blogsis & blogniece) said, we protect blogmom and can circle the wagons quite nicely if need be.
*giving SB a stern look*
Posted by: Machelle at October 5, 2004 11:21 AMAnd, SB, if you look over to the part where it says Bad Example Family, those are her Blog Siblings... and we're pretty protective too. We stick together, which has been the nice thing about the blogosphere. Just as long as people are respective of her, then we're cool.
Tammilicious, you are easy to love in person, but knowing YOU for YOU from your blog, made it completely effortless. And you can beat Blog Bro Johnny Oh with a stick for making your 'new name' stick in my head. It's like a bad bad song!
Posted by: Boudicca at October 5, 2004 11:31 AMCertain situations, people, and places dictate that you have to emphasize different aspects of your life to others in different ways. It's by no means hypocrisy. Not unless it's blatanly trying to paint yourself as someone else. I don't feel that you do that at all. Your blog is a good thing for you to have, and for us to read! :)
I'm lucky, in that I'm not invloved with so many activities that I have to emphasize different parts of my life to others. Most know me as a shy (believe it), fun loving guy with an idiotic sense of humor and an appetite for brewskis and loud music!
SB - Welcome. I believe both you and Tammi had some good points, but I've got to say, when the scheisse splatters on the wall, I'm there for Tammi. Not that she needs it, but like Lee Ann said,"we're very protective of our girl." And while I'm pretty friendly, I do bite! :)
Posted by: That 1 Guy at October 5, 2004 11:33 AMSB....but, if your lookin' for a fight...your always welcome to stop by my place...that's if you can hold your own with lots of conservatice vets...we're always looking for new liberal meat...LOL....
Tammi -I think that you hold your own as well as anyone else out there!
Posted by: ALa71 at October 5, 2004 11:47 AMWell, I appreciate that y'all are there to protect Tammi and circle the wagons and all that... but did any of you have anything to say about the points I was making?
You seem very upset that I called Tammi "lady" and some people may even think that "anally retentive" is name-calling (I don't think it is). However, if those did cause offense, I've already apologized for them.
I made some points that I consider valid. Feel free to engage.
Posted by: Shadowboxer at October 5, 2004 12:10 PMALa71,
"SB....but, if your lookin' for a fight...your always welcome to stop by my place..."
Yeah, I'll stop by and have a look. Hey, you're kinda cute!
Posted by: Shadowboxer at October 5, 2004 12:33 PMTammi, are you sure we're not twins separated at birth????? Hmmmm, my sister always said I was adopted but I never believed her.
I can relate on everything you wrote. As a matter of fact I myself have to go to a meeting this afternoon to deal with perception (everyone's), expectations (realistic and unrealistic), etc. so we can all be on the same page on several projects. I tell you, it's like pulling healthy teeth sometimes.
As for the many facets of you.... are you a gemini? I'm the same way. My personal friend, is a crazy liberal that believes that Al Franken is an infallible God and Bush is... well insert the adjective of your choice.
I don't have friends at work.... more about that later in the week.
I too am a former model and sang in a band. And not only do I love Florida, all my fav college teams are from there! Before they died, every year my friends and I would vacation in a new beach front section of Florida. It was a way for us to try out where we were all going to live or retire to when the rat race got to us.
I tell you it's scary! We must have been separated at birth. It's the only explanation.
Hope your day was great! Thinking is gook but dwelling and starring isn't. Cut yourself some slack, your a wonderful caring person!
PS. The reason I didn't go crazy on the Kerry nut job supporters is because you never know which are the ones with the guns who are off their medication on any given day. The number of attacks on Bush supporters was up by 200% this past weekend.
Posted by: michele at October 5, 2004 12:47 PMSB
We're not by any means trying to scare you off. And we know that Tammi is completely capable of taking care of herself.
We just like to point out the "Bad Example Family" blogroll and let you know that we all watch over each other.
So welcome! Some bite, some hit and some just smile sweetly while they take the air out of your car tires. Enjoy the family! ;D
Posted by: Lee Ann at October 5, 2004 01:23 PMSB,
I am not a family member, but a recent guest here at these posts and it is a great place to be. All are fantastic, smart, creative, funny and have alot of warmth.
You might hang around for a while, once the smoke clears.
It has become a very addicting place to be.
Jovi
No worries, Lee Ann, all this talk about this nebulous virtual Neighborhood Watch thing didn't really strike me as scary. Tough talk on a blog doesn't go too far. I'm a little more used to arguments flowing back and forth, points being made etc.
Posted by: Shadowboxer at October 5, 2004 02:31 PMHello SB, I am surprised you didn't find some good arguments and conversation about the debate and your comments. Wish I had the ability to give you a good rebuttal, but right now I am brain fried with all the hurricanes that have hit me, my family, my blog family and friend. Keep in touch and when my brain actually functions again, I'll be glad to give you a debate on what is going on with Kerry and Bush.
Posted by: vw bug at October 5, 2004 03:16 PMvw bug, I wish you all the best and hope everything works out okay for you.
Posted by: Shadowboxer at October 5, 2004 03:35 PMWe all tend to reveal parts of ourselves to the blogosphere that we would never consider revealing to our family and (offline) friends.
I bared it all at first, emotionally and mentally. Got discovered by the ex and shut myself off for a long time. Got discovered by work, shut down even more. But then, I decided "What the hell!" and went back to posting what I felt like posting.
Now....whatever falls out of my brain and onto the keyboard goes!
I'm glad you've felt able to do the same. It's a great feeling to be able to open up and find others who understand and respond similarly.
Posted by: Da Goddess at October 5, 2004 03:37 PMSB-
No arguument from me because I am like VW, hurricane struck (we're old friends and sorta neighbors), but because also, I cannot stand Bush, I just loathe Kerry. I won't even watch tonight's debate because I think Cheney is evil and I can't stand Edwards. (However, I have no problems stating my opinions on why I feel Bush is the lesser of two evils.)
I don't typically argue or debate on people's blogs due to the fact I find that the average blogger I choose to frequent is top notch in the IQ department. I respect their opinions. I just take all I read as another data point.
That said, you made good points, as did Tammi. I've filed both away into my mental database.
Posted by: Boudicca at October 5, 2004 03:44 PMOops... well SB, I guess I am not going to be very good at a rebuttal anytime soon. I see this morning I missed the debates last night. What is scary is that my mom (who lives and breathes politics) didn't watch either debate either. I guess all of these storms have taken a toll on all of us. Though there are many others in the Blog family (as Bou mentioned) that are great at debating either side.
Side note: it should have said family and friends - note the S at the end of friends. GRIN.
Ok, got to run take care of the monsters (ohh uhhh... children).
Tammi, I love your blog and the ability for you to just say what you think. Keep up the good work!
Posted by: vw bug at October 6, 2004 07:10 AM