August 29, 2004

Mellowing

I'm the first to admit I LOVE a good time! I missed all of that in my 20's. Heck, I went from traveling with a (bad) band, doing the hotel circuit, to wicked step mother in the course of 6 months at the age of 22! Talk about a life style change.

So, when I got my divorce in my early 30's you can bet I had some things to make up for. I went out every chance I got. I loved the clubs,the drinking, the dancing, the drinking, the music, the drinking, well...you get the idea. A lot of my friends from home advised me that I was behaving more like a man after a divorce than a woman. WTF does that mean?? Women can't cut loose? Yeah, right!

But I find now when I think about a good time, it's a totally different scenerio. It still involves music, but a bit quieter - so we can have a conversation. It still involves my friends, but in a setting where we can relax and just enjoy each other's company. There's still a bit of drinking, but I wake up the next morning with no after effects - we sip cocktails not slam shots.

I have an event coming up. It's a good friends bachelorette party. A group of us are meeting for a nice dinner then hitting Pleasure Island. We've all "played" together often, as we were on the same team at work and did a lot of traveling en-mass. But I'm not really looking forward to it. (can I say that out loud?) Oh, I know I'll have a great time, but I'd rather get the chance to talk with them, find out what they've been doing since we were split asunder. How are the kids, the husbands? You know - talk.

Now don't get me wrong. I enjoy puttin on the ritz as it were. Hell, my wardrobe is still 1/2 "party" clothes. But, I just don't know if I have the same level of excitement I had for the whole club scene. I love to go dancing, but it's different. I don't want to go with a "pack". I want it to be a special evening. You know - intimate.

I hate to think this means I'm getting older. I prefer to think it's a gentle mellowing. A realization that the focus should be on the people not the event. Whatever it is, it's really surprised me. I don't know when that shift occured, but it's obvious now.

So I think I'll plan a nice little gathering, a spot of dinner, some drinks, good music on the stereo and some people that just make a room light up. Yeah, now THAT sounds like a good time.

Posted by Tammi at August 29, 2004 10:12 AM
Comments

I'm there. I totally agree with you. Partying in a smoke filled club with a bunch of strangers does nothing for me anymore. I'd much rather kick back with friends and laugh. I don't know... I don't think its aging. My Dad always tells me, "No regrets. Live with no regrets." and what he is saying is it's all about the relationships we have.

Posted by: Boudicca at August 29, 2004 10:56 AM

Have to agree - nothing worse than spending time where the music is too loud to hear the conversation.

Posted by: Harvey at August 29, 2004 01:18 PM

I have to say I've never been into the party scene; too loud music has only resulted in pain. I have a slight hearing deficit and louder doesn't increase my understanding, only my discomfort,so my experience is a bit out of the norm.

Posted by: Rachel Ann at August 29, 2004 02:40 PM

Loud music is necessary at any drinking event - the idea is to have a 'quieter' area at the gig for all those who can't hang.

Posted by: Tesco at August 29, 2004 04:35 PM

I must be REALLY old because my perfect night would be to get a babysitter -takeout from my favorite resturant and lay in bed with the air-conditioning on full tilt and a bunch of great movies...sad but true...

Posted by: ALa71 at August 30, 2004 12:12 AM

I hate going to bars anymore where loud music is playing. I really like talking to people when we get together now, it's much nicer and you learn more about the people your with that way.

Posted by: Machelle at August 30, 2004 08:28 AM

Tammi...you know...please don't say we're getting old because we don't dig the club scene anymore. I see more and more gray hair everyday and it's enough to make me want to dye it. LOL

Went to visit my friends in March. The 20 something friends that I crawled around the clubs with. Now we're 30 somethings and we spent almost my entire visit drinking wine, watching movies and eating brie and crackers. These are the same people I slammed tequila with until we puked. Thank God I got over that! LOL

No wonder I like to read your site. You are me. don't tell anyone. LOL

Posted by: kat-missouri at September 1, 2004 04:16 AM