July 16, 2004

Things I Have Learned

and I mean just this morning!!

1) ALWAYS set the coffee pot the night before.

2) DO NOT under any circumstances attempt to do ANYTHING that involves matches, lighters (except for cigarettes) BEFORE you've had your coffee.

3) In the off chance you did not adhere to lesson #1 move very slowly while preparing the coffee. Do Not Rush This as it can ruin the coffee pot.

4) Do NOT attempt to comment on other blogs in a witty or coy manner until said coffee has kicked in.

5) When awakening in the middle of the night, actually put your glasses on and LOOK at the clock before you call your mother for your daily chat.

Yeah folks - those are all lessons I learned today. I went to bed fairly early - very very tired - heck even unloading the dishwasher exhausted me (yes, I'm working to reduce the list I wrote earlier.) Problem is, I still wake up after so many hours. I was a bit disoriented and thought I might have missed my call to Mom before she left. Thank GOODNESS I got the machine. I'd have felt terrible calling at 2:30 her time!!

So, as a little treat, here is what my morning looked like after the attempted phone call to my mother.

OK OK OK I need coffee. Oh shit. I didn't set the pot. I was too tired after emptying the dishwasher. OK OK OK I can do this. Open the thingy where the filter is. Dump the filter. Oh shit - I forgot to take the lid off first. Dig that out. Now run small amount dishwater and wash the lid. Dump grounds and wash. Put filter back into grinder add beans and, oh I gotta add water. Pull pot out and fill with water. Dump water into......NO NO NO Don't put the water ON the beans. Dufus. Shit - water got into grinder. OK OK OK. I gotta think. I need to light a candle. (WTF?!?) Pull out warmer and go to closet and get tealight. Place tealight in bottom of warmer and light with lighter - ouch. OK. Get candle lighter from family room and light tealight. Go to bathroom and put toothpaste on burn. Shoot - is that coffee done yet? Shit. Take filter off pot and dump - having first removed lid (I do learn somewhat quickly). Dump beans and dry out filter. Dry off grinder. Put filter on and refill with beans. Replace lid and CLOSE the top of the part of the machine. NOW - fill pot with water and pour into water holder place. Check blog. Attempt to comment on many wonderful sites, cancel as you cannot understand what language you were posting in. Where's that coffee?!!?!?! Shoot. Turn coffee pot on. Stand at counter watching and waiting until enough of the brown nectar of the gods has accumulated in pot to make a cup.

Ahhhhhhhhh. Good Morning. :-) Think I'll go sit outside where I can't do any more damage.

Posted by Tammi at July 16, 2004 05:48 AM
Comments

OMG! Are you sure you weren't watching me this morning? All except for the calling Mom thing? Coffee, need coffee.

This is the kind of morning you will want to put on your glasses and check the labels of all "getting-ready-for-work" products before application. TGIF

Posted by: Bonfire7 at July 16, 2004 09:00 AM

I'm laughing at you, but in a sympathetic way ;-)

Oh, and a handy hint for coffee emergencies, as soon as you turn the pot on, just put your cup under the drizzle until it's full enough to drink. Then put the pot under.

There's NOTHING as yummy, flavorful, and POTENT as the initial cascade :-)

Posted by: Harvey at July 16, 2004 09:25 AM

Is it a sign of friendship that while reading this, I can visualize it all happening? Psychic, psychotic...it's all in how you pronounce it!

"Hello On-Star? We have an emergency. Coffee addict down, I repeat, coffee addict down. Send assistance immediately!"

(And what's with attempting to light a candle? I do worry about you some times.) ;D

Posted by: Lee Ann at July 16, 2004 11:34 AM

Ouch... Fortunatly since I'm down for the summer, I just get out of bed when I feel like it, the bad part is you can't set the coffee pot up the night before since the auto grinder would wake the dead when it kicks off... What I need is a remote I can put on my nightstand to roll over and hit when I finally wake up... This may require some actuall effort, but it may be worth it... hmmmm....

Posted by: Tim at July 16, 2004 12:02 PM

Oh! I think Tim is on to something! A coffee pot with a remote control start! That sounds good! Then no matter what time you get up, you press a button (like the snooze on your alarm) and start the coffee. The fresh smell wafting through will help to wake you up.

Good luck Tim! It could be a wonderful feature!!

Posted by: Lee Ann at July 19, 2004 09:10 AM