Tammi's World

Taking Stock

Well, it's been a long flippin' month folks. One month of unemployment. YIKES.

And it's funny the changes in your mind set. I miss the little things.

There's no more Fresh Flower Thursday. Every Thursday I would stop and pick up fresh flowers for my living room table. I love flowers - they add color and life to a room. And they just flat out make me smile. Well, not a necessity so we cut 'em out. It sure does make Thursdays less fun. But it's gotta be.

I'm cooking different. Lesser cuts of meat - no big deal, except I am rather picky about that stuff. Hell - raised beef cattle for a while, in another life. I know a good cut of meat when I see one. But, there again, can't be too particular at this juncture. And more processed foods. I prefer fresh veggies, fresh bread, I like to try and buy food in as natural state as possible. But fresh = expensive. So for the first time in a long time I got Mac & Cheese the blue box in my house. Hey - it's hot and it's filling. It works.

I don't go anywhere. I don't want to use the gas. For the first time in ages I've had a tank of gas last almost 2 weeks. Unheard of for me......

But despite all that it's ok. Really. It's kinda like stepping back in time for me. Most of my married life was cutting corners and stretching. I'm actually pretty good at it. I just got soft. I just got lazy. Hell - I just got spoiled.

I'm fully aware that things will never be what they were at one time. The likely hood of having a cleaning lady again is pretty slim. The possibility of last minute trips to Europe - yeah, I'm thinking not. Lobster and steak for dinner on a semi-regular basis........well, I didn't need that cholesterol anyway.

But I appreciate what I had. But even more than that I appreciate the fact that I know how to adapt. Change is not easy for anyone. If you try to tell me different I'll call you a liar. We all get used to our ways. Imagine life without your laptop, or cell phone, or favorite game. Whether you admit it or not, you'd miss it. Oh, you'd adapt, but you'd be a tad bit resentful. It's just human nature.

So - today I'm kinda missin' the old life. Today I'm thinkin' about what was. And that's ok. It's not a sad day, it's not a pity day. It's just inventory. That's all.

Posted by Tammi at April 3, 2006 09:02 AM