Those of you that cook - have you ever made a dish and when tasting it realize there is just somethin' missin'? You can't put your finger on it, but you know something just isn't exactly as it supposed to be?
Yeah - well that's me right now. I'm in a mood. Have been for over a week. Not because of the holidays. Those were better than expected.
It's not the living conditions. I'm in the new house and getting more and more settled each day.
It's not the job. It sucks, but I know it's not the job.
I don't know what it is. I just can't see it. I look and look - think and think. Nothin'. I got nothin'.
My night out last night was me finally just tired of dealing with it. I don't often set out to drink too much. I don't because I know how easy it is for me to go on a bender. If I'm in a mood - I don't drink. Period. Most of the time.
Last night was all about how much I could consume in a short amount of time. End of story. I knew I had to go out because I will NOT sit at home and drink like that. They'd find me a month later surrounded by empty bottles rocking back and forth in a corner. Not a pretty picture, let me tell you.
But you see it's this shyness of mine. Most of the time I work through it. Most of the time I can ignore it. But sometimes the self doubt, the inner child as it were just fights to the surface. And kicks my ass. I don't know what I'm fussin' about. Honestly. I'm just mad at me. If I knew why I'd forgive myself and tell me to get over it. That's the problem. I don't know why.
Does that ever happen to you? If so, how do you deal with it? How to you work through a problem that you know exists but can't define? How do you forgive youself for something that you don't understand?
Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?
Posted by Tammi at December 28, 2005 10:38 PMthat is the holy grail baby...what is life, and what is missing...
wish I knew the answer...
however I think I could use a trip to Vegas right now...Vegas Baby VEGAS...might solve the problems...
Posted by: armywifetoddlermom at December 28, 2005 11:11 PMSee what you need to do is live closer to me so you could drink at my place and crash in the guest bedroom! Actually I suffer from a bit of shyness that I still have trouble getting over with. Being in the military has helped a bit though, having to meet new people all the time.
Posted by: Sean at December 28, 2005 11:36 PMAWTM hit the nail on the head.
Thats the 100 mil question
There is no awnser.
I spend most of those types of days staring out the window drinking coffee, wine or bourbon and just...thinking.
But you can't let it beat you up. And you can't let it bring you down. It's ok to ponder the life the universe and everything (so long and thanks for all the fish!) but you can't get depressed over it. You have to step outside of yourself and view it 3rd person like.
Ok I'm done heh my comment turned in to a post. :)
If you need an ear you know how to find me ;)
Posted by: BloodSpite at December 29, 2005 02:26 AMI drink, it's what I'm good at and it's what I do. Not the best answer, and definately not the healthiest. I don't deny I have a slight reputation as a drinker. My minions gave me alcohol for a christmas gift! To quote a great sage of our time, "Alcohol the solution and cause of all our problems" - Homer J. Simpson.
As for the shyness part, I'm okay as long as there is someone there that I already know. If I don't know anyone, then I'm a wall flower. I always make sure that someone I know is going to be someplace before I go.
If you're worried about drinking alone... You just need to find a drinker that has the same stigma that lives close by and call me, er them.
Posted by: Contagion at December 29, 2005 07:37 AMWhen you find the answer, please impart it upon me. As I joked at Harvey's, Lorcet seems to be doing the trick for me as of late... *wink* I'll call you tomorrow.
Posted by: Bou at December 31, 2005 10:42 AMOn the other side of the coin, the problem with having the answers is that even when explained, they don't listen.
People find the answer to their questions and issues at their own pace, at their own time. Or they don't.
But it's not something that someone else or something else can show you.
sorry
Posted by: _Jon at January 2, 2006 11:43 AM