I chose to live in a small town. I wanted the family atmosphere. I wanted the quiet. Hell, if I could have afforded it and had the time I'd be out in the country right now. I like the quiet.
But sometimes it's too quiet. Sometimes I just want "interaction". It's hard to make friends in a small town. Really, it is. You're the outsider. You have no history. You are a stranger. Automatically suspect.
I noticed last night during my raid at the local market. After 3 months I still can't get the cashiers to smile. They'll talk and joke with everyone around me - but with me it's stilted and somber. :-( For someone who loves to make people smile that's tough. Really tough.
I know I could have chosen to live in one of the bigger towns. #1 I didn't have a lot of time to look around, and #2 it's very difficult to find a house that will rent to someone with a dog. Cody stays with me. No option there.
So as I start to think about where I'd like to move to this winter I'm at a crossroads. I know I'm not staying "here". I'm not terribly fond of the town down the road (sorry Marty). I don't want to move too far from this geographical area - it's beautiful. I just need to figure out where I can go where I'll fit in a bit better.
The other problem is that I'm a single woman. People automatically think there is something "wrong" with me. Why is she here? Why is she single? I'm here because I like the area. I'm single because I just am. Period. Nothing funky, nothing "wrong". You can trust me around your husbands, you can trust me around your kids. I'm not after what you have. Too bad I can't just post a sign out in my front yard that says that.
Now, don't bombard my comments with stuff like "join a club". Not gonna happen. No time, and I'm not a crafter or a farmer (anymore). I'm not joining a church - too political and usually too hypocritial. Not what I'm looking for. I'll figure it out - don't worry. I know, in my minds eye, what I'm looking for. It's a feeling. An aura. Kinda hard to put into words, but I know.
So what's the point of this post? None really - just that small towns, while they have their advantages, can be a tough crowd to break into. Especially for a single woman.
Posted by Tammi at August 15, 2005 05:13 AMGo Bowling!
That is how I and 8 of our friends met their mates.
Posted by: Machelle at August 15, 2005 06:40 AMI guess that's not a problem for me... I don't like dealing with people so if they never talked to me, I'd be fine.
Posted by: Contagion at August 15, 2005 07:55 AMNo offense taken! I had been gone 18 years and it was tough for ME to be in this town as a single woman! But my town's not so bad if you have the right friends (hint hint nudge nudge)
If you ever DID want to join a club and meet men, the VFW is where it's at. Look what happened with me and Sarge!
(snort) bwa-ha-ha!
Posted by: Marty at August 15, 2005 09:37 AMHeh my town doesn't even have..well....anything...lol
Literally
We're just a wide spot in the road with a small sign saying "Welcome to Jacket, Missouri".
50 feet later "Now Leaving Jacket Missouri"
There are exactly 2 houses between the signs.
Posted by: BloodSpite at August 15, 2005 03:02 PMI'm with you on this one. Even though I'm not single - my husband travels a lot - I work from home - we just moved to TLTTF Texas in May. I know NO ONE. I just want someone I can meet for lunch, or go shopping with or grab a drink or two with. I feel like I'm losing my mind. No interaction with any human beings while my husband is away. I've started telling my cat about my day or a problem I am having and realized if anyone else overheard or saw this they would put me away in a rubber room :)
Posted by: Napster at August 15, 2005 04:03 PMYou Black Widow, you!
Posted by: Ogre at August 16, 2005 08:17 AMIf they won't like you, make them fear you!
Lay down such a reputation of strangeness and gossip that children three generations from now will use you in stories to scare their friends!!
"That's where Evil Tammi and her alcoholic dog used to live... my sister's friend sam's cousin said that she used to cackle at kids stupid enough to cross her yard while her dog mugged them for malt liqour money. Really! It happened!! They also said that she's burn all her furniture every weekend and buy new stuff just for the hell of it!! And she was eight feet tall! Swear to god!"
Ok, so maybe that's the kind of rep I'D try to cultivate...
(Although what I'd have to do to be refered to as "Evil Tammi" is far too disturbing to dwell on for very long)
Stay away from Grau... ;-)
Posted by: Bou at August 16, 2005 07:25 PMOoo Ooo! I have a good one.
Get three or four urns, fill them with ashes or mortar mix, etc.
Label them "Husband #1" "Husband #2" and so on.
But them in a radio flyer wagon and go for a romantic stroll....
Be sure to have some serious converstaions with appropriate silences for the "responses".
Posted by: Graumagus at August 17, 2005 10:48 PM