This is wonderful. Just flippin' wonderful.
It's my neighbors. Again.
I got home kinda late tonite - had to get my hair done. I'm lettin' the rest of me fall apart - but damnit not my hair.
Anyway. It's been a long day. Not a good day - just long. I am NOT in the mood for any bullshit.
As soon as I get out of the car they meet me at the door. Can we use your computer? NO. That's it. Just No. (ain't ya proud of me!!)
Then I am informed that they have done something to help with the "pest problem". The first thought in my mind is "Oh...they're moving!". No. I couldn't be that lucky.
My guess is they got a cat. Oh joy. Just what I need. Worry about the kids, the dog and the cat.
No. It wasn't a cat.
I see her smirk. I feel a cold clamp in the pit of my stomach. Oh Dear Lord No.
A snake.
Yep. And it's loose in my back yard as I type.
On purpose.
You all remember my reaction to the sucker that decided to take up residence in my garage. Right? Yeah well - let me just say I am not happy. Not happy at all.
Why in the HELL would someone do that?!?! What could they possibly be thinking? Oh, wait....thinking requires a brain and I think that is something they are lacking.
Son of a gun. I HATE SNAKES. Damn. Damn. Damn.
Does anyone...anywhere have a nice house in No. Illinois I can rent for a decent price? Please! Cody and I are good tennents really!
I. Wanna. Move. NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by Tammi at July 25, 2005 08:46 PMOk, so I might not be coming to visit you soon.
That's just wrong!!
Posted by: Sissy at July 25, 2005 09:18 PMThis would only happen to you, Sweetheart. Oh this sucks. Very very bad.
OK, so let me catalogue this to date:
Place is the size of a shoebox
One neighbor openly pees in his yard with you there
Some neighbor puts Bible verses in chalk on your front stoop.
Another neighbor has a nasty sister who said nasty things to you.
Neighbor with kids never leave you alone.
Neighbor with kids let a snake out in your backyard.
It's time for me to win the lottery so I can get you the hell out of there.
Posted by: Bou at July 25, 2005 09:25 PMBou -
Some neighbor puts Bible verses in chalk on your front stoop.
Another neighbor has a nasty sister who said nasty things to you.
Neighbor with kids never leave you alone.
Neighbor with kids let a snake out in your backyard.
All the same people. HELP ME!!!!!!
Posted by: Tammi at July 25, 2005 09:29 PMMontana's starting to look REAL good right about now isn't sweetheart.
Well, what are you waiting for?
Posted by: Randy at July 25, 2005 09:53 PMCheap tricks:
Get a bottle of motor oil (every enviornmentalist is going to scream at me)
Pour it around your yard and by your house.
The petroleum acts as a repellent and it doesn't wash away easily.
Step 2...buy a shotgun.....
Posted by: BloodSpite at July 25, 2005 10:29 PMTammi - good lord, call the police! Get a restraining order! Sic Cody on them! You poor baby - I'm going to end up using my daily allotment of explanation points on just this comment!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by: Beth at July 26, 2005 05:47 AMCall animal control.
They should come out and catch it, or at least have a talk with your neighbors.
That is sort of cruelty to animals. Buy one then let it loose.
Posted by: Machelle at July 26, 2005 06:19 AMYou know, snake is good eating. It really is.
Now quit your squirming, and just listen to me. Just get a hatchet and a stick with a fork at the end. Pin the head to the ground, using the hatchet, chop it off. Take the rest of the snake and peel the skin off. Slowly roast over open fire in the backyard. Using a little seasoned salt, pepper, lemon juice and sweet basil. It tastes great!
Make sure neighbors watch you sitting there cooking it with the bloody hatchet next to you. Smile big while you eat.
Posted by: Contagion at July 26, 2005 06:46 AMYikes! I am thinking Ogre's landmines sound tempting. Oh you have to put a stop to them. I said them! You have to put a stop to them. The blogosphere is full of ways ;)
Posted by: Oddybobo at July 26, 2005 09:04 AMThat is one messed up neighborhood! Until you can move you should definitely lay some mines...
{{{Hugs}}}
Posted by: pam at July 26, 2005 09:34 AMHey Contagion, I say we set up a weekend Mini-vous' in her back yard and scare the bastards into moving :)
Posted by: Graumagus at July 26, 2005 10:34 AMBonfire!!!
Posted by: TNT at July 26, 2005 03:03 PMYour Beloved Father, Harv, says, "What kind of snake?" (He likes snakes.) YUK!!
Posted by: TNT at July 26, 2005 03:04 PMI definitely think you should have Contagion, Grau and Little Joe come get rid of the snake and scare your neighbors.
I have a feeling T1G won't be stepping one toe in your back yard!
Posted by: Sissy at July 26, 2005 07:30 PMStep 1) Call the slumlord
Step 2) call animal control and report that its poisonous and you're concerned for the welfare of small children that aren't being looked after real well
Step 3) call DCF and report they let a poisonous snake loose in the backyard where the kids play
Step 4) time to come home!
Step 5) get a big shovel and bash the sucker!
And even if its not poisonous - SAY THAT IT IS!
Posted by: Lee Ann at July 27, 2005 07:09 PM