Tammi's World

My .02 Worth

The Divas are handling the issue of Bad Boyz and why women are drawn to them.....Please head over to Christina's place, read what she has to say and follow the links. THis series they are doing is my favorite part of Tuesday - and I think you'll enjoy it.

But....I want to build a bit on what Christina has to say. She is mentioning how often the women that are caught in that horrible circle of abuse have a tendancy to keep getting sucked back in. There are a number of reasons for that and I'm only going to touch on one. And it's a big one. And something that EVERYONE should watch out for.

When you are in a stressful situation - the adrenaline kicks in. It's a rush. It's like a drug. Well when you live in a permanent stressful situation that drug is a constant. You get used to it. IT becomes normal.

I remember sitting at Mama's kitchen table just ranting, raving and crying that all I wanted was a NORMAL life. That's it. Simple. Normal.

So...upon my divorce and move - it seemed like everytime I turned around bad shit was happening. Just about the time things got smooth, sweet, normal, something would happen and rock my world.

After about 3 exhausting years of this a very dear friend sat me down and explained in very plain english what was happening. I was doing it to myself.

WHAT?!?!? How dare you? Who do you think......

Then I sat and thought for just a minute. You know what - she was right.

She proceeded to explain that often I was making decisions that PUT me in that bad situation. Not always - but often.

And as I sat there reviewing the mental video that was my recent life I realized she was more right than she knew.

Then she said that we had to break that cycle. Had. To. But it wouldn't be easy.

I had to accept that boring is alright. Boring is actually good. Excitement is alright if it's positive. But....I had to make a plan, get orgainized and then just plod ahead.

That was advice that changed my life. I've shared it with many - and not just abused individuals. This is true for so many of us. In our personal lives, our business lives - every where.

So just tuck that thought in the back of your mind. It might come in handy some day.

Posted by Tammi at April 12, 2005 09:16 AM