April 08, 2005

The Long Goodbye V

Parts I, II, III, IV

My best friend Sharon. She has been closer than a sister since I was a senior in high school. 26 years now.....more than half my life.

Believe it or not I can't remember exactly how it happened, but she drove down with me and stayed for a couple of weeks. It was our version of Thelma and Louise. Damn - we did love our adventures.

We had arranged that I would pick her up at her house in N. Indiana around 5:00am the morning of April 19. I was late. I finally got away from Mama's house and got to her place around 5:15/5:30. Anyway - I let her drive first. I cried the entire way through Indiana. Not because I love Indiana - oh, hell no. I was moving across the country, away from my family and friends....took a huge pay cut, in the middle of a divorce. I can still feel the way my stomach clenched. Damn scarey times.

What I didn't realize at that time was that Sharon is deathly afraid of bridges. (not a lot of bridges in Indiana) Yeah - terrified. So, of course I had her drive across the Ohio river between Indiana and Kentucky. When we got over the bridge, she took the next exit and made me take over. Well, it is my move - guess I ought to do something constructive. This cryin thing wasn't really gonna cut it.

It was a 21 hour drive total. When we hit Georgia, we had been warned about Cobb County. We knew that we had to watch our speed. What Sharon - who is miss Must Have Insurance, Must Be Legally Plated - didn't know was I had let my insurance lapse and my plates were expired. I just figured I'd take care of all that when I got to my new home. (no lectures - I know, I know. and when I 'fessed up SHE WAS PISSED!) So as I'm driving into Cobb County I tell her it's time to start paying attention. We were cruising down I75 just 4 mph over the limit - I set the cruise control just to avoid the temptation. Cars are passing us like we were still. One car in particular was just being an ass. I was soo pissed off - jutting in and out of traffic, cutting people off - just being an ass. I had just said to her "Where are the cops when you need 'em?" when IT happened. Like a swarm of bees they came. Out of the mountains - Georgia State Patrol cars. Every where. And you got it....the first car pulled over was our little asshole. You know - it's not often enough in life that we get the chance to see that whole "what comes around, goes around" thing. We got a good laugh out of that one!

We get through Atlanta in early evening. It was raining (of course) and traffic was non-existant. I remember telling her I didn't understand why everyone always complained about Atlanta traffic - this was a breeze. Yeah - well, I know better now.

By the time we hit north Florida we were exhausted. I had gotten very little sleep the night before and the week before the move had been incredibly hectic. Of course, now I know what to expect - but man, the construction kicked my ass. I remember gripping the steering wheel with both hands and just screaming....I can't take anymore. I can't go on. We Have To Stop. Being the good, understanding, loving friend that she is, Sharon looked at me and said "Oh, shut the f*ck up and drive damnit." Me? "OK"

Finally, finally, finally we hit Tampa. Only a little more to go. It's midnight and damn, there was traffic. As we are tooling down I275 I sit up a little straighter in the drivers seat and say - I better get into Chicago Driving Mode. This is busy shit. She, again looked over, so understanding, so sweet and said "WTF? No...just get in the middle lane and head south. This is not a race, and you can't keep up right now." Me? "OK"

We got lost trying to find my cousins house, but finally pulled in around 1:30am Monday morning. Thank Goodness. Now....the moving truck was to arrive on Tuesday - so no furniture, no dishes - well, except for my coffee pot and mug that I brought in the car with me (don't tell me you're surprised!). But that was fine. I had an appointment in Atlanta on Tuesday, but the rest of the week was all about the beaches.

The trip to Atlanta was to meet with the Sr. VP of the steel company. You remember, we had just bought them, but their corporate office was actually in Atlanta. He wanted to talk with me. What I didn't know at the time was that I didn't have the job yet. Oh.....thanks to the pressure that my employer put on them, they said I did - but only later did my new boss admit that it wasn't til that trip to Atlanta that I was actually hired. Holy Shit...if I'd have known that I'd have been more nervous than I was.

Well....while I was up in Atlanta, being wined and dined (at Chick Fillet - a whole 'nother story) the movers arrived at my house. Sharon wasn't exactly domestic at that time. But she made sure everything got moved in, then proceeded to unpack every single box. When I got back that evening I walked into my new home - every picture hung where I wanted, everything put away and CABLE HOOKED UP!! WooHoo....what a great surprise.

We took the rest of our time and just hung out at the beach. There was the attempt to video tape the sunset. I got us there about 2 hours early - but that was alright. We found plenty to tape (damn that one runner was fiiiiiiinnnnnnnneeeee) and despite the freezing wind, we did just fine. We took little tours of the different sub divisions. There are some beautiful areas in St. Pete. And we drove through most of them.

The funniest thing was our first trip to Sarasota. We had to "bomb" the house for bugs. Icky. That meant we needed to leave the house for a few hours. So...we head south. As we get onto I275 I remember about the Sunshine Skyway Bridge. Remember - she is afraid of bridges. Well, shit - I probably ought to mention this one.

So I tell her a bit about it. I did NOT tell her the history - how the old one was hit by a ship and collapsed...no didn't think that was good timing on my part. She took the news better than I expected. As we come around the final curve at St. Pete she looks at the long flat expanse of bridge in front of us and says "is that it? no problem!". I say....uhhhh no sweetie. That's the on ramp.....the bridge is up around the curve.

Holy Shit.

Next thing I know she has stuffed herself down onto the floorboard of the car. I look over and she was gone. I then realize how scared she really is. So...in a soft, soothing voice I just start talking. About anything. Glancing over at her, just to make sure she was ok. Finally as we are almost over the far side, she looks up at me and says "I know what you're doing, and Thank You. But Shut the hell up and get us off the damned bridge NOW!" I figured this wasn't the time to remind her that we did have to come BACK over that same bridge to get home. Yeah - not the thing to say at that point.

But overall....we had the best time. She got to see a wild dolphin up close and personal - which was great as soon as she realized that it wasn't a shark! Damn that was funny.

We got a chance to really spend time together. To remember why we were friends, cement that friendship even more. We had drifted apart during my marriage and this was perfect timing for us.

The day she left the house was so quiet. Neither one of us wanted to acknowledge what day it was.

We get to the airport - and back then I could go all the way to the terminal with her. I am a hugger. I am very emotional. She is not a hugger, and while emotional - prides herself on her self control. I had never seen her cry - until that moment.

She turned away from me and got in line to board. She stood there with her back to me and I could see her shoulders shutter. I stood there, in the terminal with the tears pouring down my face. Oh. My. Goodness. I'm alone. I'm really alone. She tells me now that leaving me there by myself was one of the hardest things she had done.

As you are more than aware - things turned out just fine. Being on my own down here, making mistakes, growing and changing.....that was the best thing I have ever done. But in those few minutes in that airport - damn, I'd never felt so alone.

Posted by Tammi at April 8, 2005 07:37 AM
Comments

Funny, I've never been too keen on bridges myself. I'm not going to crawl into the floorboards, but I really don't like driving over the huge, high ones.

As a kid, I was terrified to walk over bridge. Always thought some magical force was going to come and sweep me over into the water. If I was forced to, I always walked right next to the traffic, as far away from the water as possible!

Posted by: TNT at April 8, 2005 09:15 AM

That alone feeling is very scary, as I have experienced it too. But you feel so much stronger, so much more vibrant and proud once you overcome it. But until that moment, it's a very scary feeling.

Posted by: Sissy at April 8, 2005 09:27 AM

Mom,
You made me cry....goodbye is hard....even when things are ok it is hard.

Posted by: ArmyWifeToddlerMom at April 8, 2005 09:57 AM

My friend Patti hates that bridge with a deep and abiding passion. She calls it either the "Death Bridge" of just plain "Hell" and will do anything she can to avoid having to take it. Although her last trip, she was quite proud that she got over it without swearing or breaking the steering wheel.

I admit is makes me nervous at times. Sometimes yes, others no. But I just hug that inside lane and if someone doesn't like my speed...tough, pass me.

Saying goodbye is definitely one of the hardest things you have to say to a friend.

Posted by: Lee Ann at April 8, 2005 10:05 AM

I hate bridges also and let me tell you when we drove to Key West I was nearly stroking out by the time we finally hit that Island.

And that F*cking Sunshine Bridge was a killer for me too, although I was in my early teens the last time I was on it.

I will not drive over them and I tend to lean into the center of the car thinking that that will give us an advantage should the bridge suddenly tilt.

Posted by: Machelle at April 8, 2005 11:10 AM

Ok, that made me cry, too.
But, I can relate to Sharon. First time across Sunshine Skyway, I was firmly convinced we were taking off like a rocket. I hadda keep my eyes closed for most of it. Thank gawd I wasn't driving, huh? It STILL kinda gives me the heebie jeebies, but it's bettah.
The Seven Mile in the Keys doesn't bother me NEARLY as much. Not as high, for one thing.

Posted by: Pammy at April 8, 2005 12:04 PM

I gotta remember not to ride with you.... Too many secrets.

Posted by: _Jon at April 8, 2005 02:42 PM