Tammi's World

The Long Good-Bye II

Here is the first part of this tale.

So here I was. Living in St. Pete wearing shorts and tee shirts, little dresses and runnin' around barefoot. I'd have given the Coppertone Girl a run for her money with my tan. My long, wild, messy hair was gone. Replaced with a shorter, curlier version that went well with my new lifestyle.

I worked at the Distribution Center during the week. It was alright. A small office and they weren't happy to have a new girl, from Corporate, messin' up their deal. I didn't really give a rats ass. I wasn't in it for the friends. I had a goal. Job that I can enjoy and make money at. Fun on the weekends, and occassionaly during the week. I had met some people that had me on their boat every Sunday and I was loving my Tammi Time. What those petty women thought at work, I didn't really care.

At 5:00 I'd take off and head to the beach. Every chance I got I watched the sunset over the water. I walked the beach at twilight until it was just to dark to be safe. Then to a little beach bar that looked interesting for a nice blackened grouper sandwich, a little live music and a couple of drinks. Yeah life was good.

I did have one friend at the office. L. She rocked. She was 10 years younger than me, and 10x crazier. We would go out and dance til our heels broke off of our shoes. We drank and laughed and well, did all the things I hadn't done for 11 years. And got into more than our fair share of trouble. Holy Shit. In fact, our boss forbade us from going out together from Sunday through Thursdays. Oh, I always made it to work, it's just sometimes it was a little, well, interesting at the office in the mornings.

So....let's recap - boating, sun, sunsets, drinking, beach bars. Yeah.....life was pretty good.

Oh, and I was dating. That was a very big deal. NO ONE expected that. And it was good. Yeah, really good. But alas, not to be. He disappeared. Just. Disappeared. My first heart break. L helped me through. Well, that and the tequila. I lost about 50 lbs. Skinny isn't the word. I spent a lot of time at the beach. I walked the shore. I sat. I thought. I walked some more. Pretty soon it was like the water reflected my soul.

Soon after the break-up my friends bought a sail boat. I had never been sailing. Hell, I'd never been on a boat before I moved to Florida and went on their speed boat. I liked the "go fast". I liked wind in my hair, the feel of the spray as we turned sharply to go into a cove. I didn't think I'd like the slow lazy sail boat.

Boy was I wrong. That first day I arrived at the marina and thought to myself that I had surely lost my mind. Ok Ok Ok....I'll go this one time, and then just bow out gracefully.

As we got the boat ready to head into the canal they started showing me how to help. Before I knew it I was climbing all over that deck like I had done it all my life. As we head out to Sarasota Bay we caught a wind. We were flying across the water. No motor. Just wind. It was a few moments before I realized I was crying as I was laughing. The laughter and tears were just pure joy. Absolute Joy.

I was hooked. I began crewing for the small races. Hell.....I almost bought one instead of my Condo. I still sort of wish I had done that.

I spent every moment that I could on a sail boat. In fact - once I left the steel business and started at Tropicana, the only way to really get me out of the office was to call and say "meet me at the marina. sunset cruise in 20 mins." I carried a swimsuit, oversized denim shirt and towel in my car......I was always there, changed and waiting within the 20 mins.

Being on the water gave me a feeling I cannot put into words. It didn't matter if it was rough or smooth as silk. Just the feel of the wind, the frangrance of the salt water, the feel of the sun or the sight of the night time sky. It all just took me to a place where nothing else matter. It brought balance. For the first time in my life. Balance.

And then I had to move.....away from the water, away from the sand.

Posted by Tammi at April 5, 2005 09:22 AM