Tammi's World

The Long Good-Bye

So you know I'm leaving Florida. I've got so many mixed emotions. And I'll be saying good-bye (in person) to many of my near and dear family/frlends. But I'm also going to miss Florida. And I thought I'd kind of work this out via my blog and a series of posts. Some will be repeats of stories told, but as the memories work their way through my mind, I think writing them out will be good for me. As well as kinda fun!

I left my husband on Sept. 28, 1995. I was working in Downtown Chicago and decided to move closer to work....East Chicago. Oh. My. Goodness. What the hell was I thinking! I had an upstairs apartment on a corner. I could hear the wind whip around and just the thought of how cold it was out there made my stomach hurt. **I've never been real good with cold weather.**

My husband had decided that the best way to get me back was to take all my money. I, being the type of person who never thinks like that, was completely blind sided. So....there I was. East Chicago (dirty, dirty place) alone for the first time in 11 years, broke and well....just really suffering from a wacked out self image.

The winter before I left him I had taken a vacation to St. Petersburg FL to visit my cousin. I spent the entire week sitting on the beach - all day, every day. I didn't take any books, I didn't take any music. I spent the entire time thinking. I knew I was unhappy and I was tired of living that way. So I did what I do so well, broke everything down and analyzed it. I realized that I needed to leave my husband. That - to me - would solve everything.

So....fast forward to the February after I left him. Hmmmmm still not so happy. On February 12th (I have a scary memory) I was walking from the Randolph St. station to our office on Dearborn and Monroe. With the windchill it was 65 below zero. Cold does not begin to cover it. I stumbled into the office and started peeling off the layers of clothes, bitchin' the entire time. If I can find steel in Florida - I'm Outta Here!! **I said that every morning from November through March.** That morning my friend told me to shut up and read my email. WooHoo. We had bought a steel distribution company in Tampa Florida.

I was dialing the phone before I could think. I ordered a ticked to Tampa for the next day. I was gonna stay a week. Told my boss I needed to get away and he had no problem with it (there really wasn't an option there!). I then called the distrubition center and scheduled a tour/visit. The next afternoon I stepped off the plane in Tampa. Driving across the Howard Franklin that goes over Tampa Bay between Tampa and St. Pete I couldn't control my happiness. It felt like home.

As it happens I got the job in Tampa. I moved within 6 weeks. My first month was "Tammi Time". First on my list of things to do was purchase a bathing suit - and damnit I wanted a bikini. I was only 32 years old......I wanted to "live" a little. Oh and shorts. I needed lots of shorts. And tee shirts. Yeah....that's what I need. And little sun dresses. You see, when I was married my husband insisted on "house dresses", you know like what you see in the old 50's movies. Yeah. If I wasn't working that's what I wore. I look at pictures from that time and I looked older than I do now. So yeah - I wanted fun and comfortable clothes.

I got a tan. I went bare foot. I cut all my hair off. I came to life.

Yeah - that was the beginning of a long, sometimes challenging journey. And truth be told.....I loved every minute of it.

more to follow

Posted by Tammi at April 4, 2005 04:58 PM