Tammi's World

Just an Old Fashioned Girl

I'm just hanging on their skirt tales! Today Christina and the indomitable demystifying divas are tackling the subject of casual sex. And they do a damned good job of it.

For me - I have to be very honest. No. It's just not an option.

I'm a very old fashioned girl at heart. Oh, I have a very earthy sense of humor and am a very sensual person - casual sex is just not something I can handle.

The funny thing is I don't know where this thinking came from. Mama was waaayyyyy to shy to have "the talk". In fact - the only conversation we ever had that comes close to discussing this was short and to the point.

Mama: If I find out you're screwin' around - I'll sew you shut. Understand?
Me: *head nodding*

Yeah - that was about it. Like I said - short and to the point.

I ran with a very wild crew. I was the only virgin in the group. We all went skinny dippin' and had drunken parties - and everyone knew, Tammi doesn't do "that". There was never any problem with it.

One morning - after a particularly drunken evening I woke up in bed, naked, with one of the guys from our "group". Standing around the bed were a bunch of our friends....All trying to decide "did they or didn't they". It was quickly determnined that no they didn't. Both of us were too damned drunk to do anything and plus - he was more a brother than a friend....ewwwwww

I have never been one that is comfortable with casual sex. Ever. It's too personal, too private. In my mind it's a gift, shared between two people. It needs a commitment, it needs time to really become great. Not to mention the intellectual side of it. The knowledge that it MEANS something to the other person, it's freeing. Plus....the anticipation, the building of desire that comes with courtship - that makes it all the better. Yeah - maybe that's what keeps me on the "old fashioned" side of things.

Now....I have never forced my opinions on others. Hell growing up most of my girl friends would screw anything with three legs. After my divorce I found out I was still out of touch - as the majority of the girls I knew were still doing the same thing my high school friends had done. I don't have a problem with that. It's their lives, their bodies.

One girl and I used to go out clubbing every Friday night. Get all gussied up and hit our favorite spots for drinkin' and dancin'. We get through the door and she'd head off in her direction and I in mine. Mine was the bar. I'd grab a stool and smile sweetly at the bartender. I'd get my drink and my protector for the evening. She on the other hand was on the prowl. It usually ended up with her coming back to the club to pick me up when it closed down. We knew it would shake out like this and as long as I knew whether I needed to call a cab or not all was fine. Again - her life, her body.

It's just not me. I also know it's one reason I don't date a lot. I had a guy tell me once that some girls you just don't play with - to him I fall in that category. I'll also admit that I sometimes wish I wasn't cut from that cloth....but I am. It's who I am. If I try to change that part of me, the cloth will no longer fit and I will be more uncomfortable than I can imagine.

Posted by Tammi at March 1, 2005 08:54 AM